Blueprints and Gadgets are governed by rules 593-597.

See also the original text of modified or destroyed blueprints.

Announced at Mon, 20 May 1996 17:23:19 -0500 (CDT)
Blueprint for "Electronic Potato"

Whenever a proposal submitted by the owner of an Electronic Potato is accepted, that Potato transfers two AckaDollars from the Treasury to the Potato's owner.

Announced at Sun, 9 Jun 1996 16:32:31 -0500 (CDT)
Blueprint: Scroll of Crumble

The owner of a Scroll of Crumble may Read it by announcing its text (which the player may make up) publicly. Upon doing so that player must indicate some existing gadget. That gadget is then destroyed. If the gadget was indestructible, three points are deducted from the score of the Scroll of Crumble's owner. Lastly, if the Scroll of Crumble still exists, it is destroyed, too.

Announced at Tue, 23 Jul 1996 02:28:27 -0800
Blueprint: The Really Big Blue Thing That Doesn't Do Too Much, Really

The Really Big Blue Thing That Doesn't Do Too Much, Really shall always have dimensions slightly larger then those of the location in which it's owner is located (which causes horrific problems when transporting The Really Big Blue Thing That Doesn't Do Too Much, Really). It is initially Baby Blue, though the shade of blue can be changed at the whim of the owner by stating publicly that he is doing so. The Really Big Blue Thing That Doesn't Do Too Much, Really changes shape. On Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday it is round. On Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday it is shaped similarly to a 1968 Ford Mustang Fastback.

No matter what shape or size The Really Big Blue Thing That Doesn't Do Too Much, Really is, it shall always have a button somewhere upon it marked "ENERGIZE"

The Really Big Blue Thing That Doesn't Do Too Much, Really is able to change the player name of any Ackanomic player to another name which is an anagram of the original. This is accomplished when the owner of The Really Big Blue Thing That Doesn't Do Too Much, Really states publicly that he has pointed The Really Big Blue Thing That Doesn't Do Too Much, Really at x (where x is the name of the player being renamed) and pressed the ENERGIZE button. The Really Big Blue Thing That Doesn't Do Too Much, Really then gives the owner an anagram of the original name which he must post to the public forum.

The Really Big Blue Thing That Doesn't Do Too Much, Really runs on rechargable 9 volt batteries, and may be used no more than once every two weeks, or the batteries will overheat and explode before The Really Big Blue Thing That Doesn't Do Too Much, Really is able to change a players name ( and thus causing The Really Big Blue Thing That Doesn't Do Too Much, Really to be destroyed).

[Web-harfer's note: the link for Blue Thing is intended to point to the TMBG song "Fingertips", but this is one of the few whose lyrics are missing from the official TMBG site]

Blueprint: Whamiol

Whenever a new Player enters the game and becomes an active player, the Whamiol will increase the score of its owner by a number of points equal to the lesser of fifteen and the number of days since the Whamiol last awarded points to its owner(effective the time it is publicly knowable the new player is an active player).

Whenever the time since the last new player became active is an even integral number of days greater than or equal to 30, the Whamiol becomes anxious and subtracts one point from its owner's score.

'Active', for the purposes of the above, only applies to the first time a particular player became active.

Blueprint: Vending Machine

The Vending Machine is a mechanical Gadget. They can be quite lucrative.

All Vending Machines are equipped to vend Rocks To Wind A String Around. The price to buy a Rock To Wind A String Around from a new Vending Machine is A$6.

The owner of a Vending Machine may change the price for which the Machine sells a certain item, by announcing which price e is changing and the new price (an even number of A$). However, no price can be changed in this way more than once in 30 days.

If a Vending Machine is possessed by the owner of the Great Trombone of Ackanomia, e may vend therefrom Walls of Trombones. The price for which A Wall of Trombones can be sold starts at A$10.

If a Vending Machine is owned by the possessor of the Little Lamb, e may vend therefrom Santa's Beards. The price for which a Santa's Beard may be sold starts at A$8.

Any player may buy an item from any owned non-broken Vending Machine by announcing which item e wishes to buy and which Vending Machine e is buying it from, so long as the specified Vending Machine is equipped to vend the specified item.. The Machine checks to make sure the buyer has enough currency to buy the item. If e has enough, the Vending Machine transfers half the price of that item from the buyer to the Machine's owner, and half of the price from the buyer to the Treasury. Finally, it creates a new item of the type requested, and gives it to the buyer.

Announced at: Sat, 9 Nov 1996 17:51:11 -0600 (CST)
Pyraic Frobnotzer

A Pyraic Frobnotzer is a mechanical gadget. It is large and golden and has two nodes, positive and negative. The nodes are made of titanium (+) and green jumblium (-), and they never wear out.

When created, a Pyraic Frobnotzer is not broken, and its nodes are not attached to anything.

The owner of a non-gyrating Pyraic Frobnotzer may attach either of its nodes to a noun phrase in a Rule by announcing the action publicly, unconditionally, and unambiguously. This can be done repeatedly, and a node can be moved from one noun phrase to another in this way. When a Rule is amended, repealed, or modified in any way, and a node of a Pyraic Frobnotzer is attached to a phrase in that Rule, the node becomes unattached.

The owner of an unbroken Pyraic Frobnotzer may set it off, if both nodes are attached to noun phrases, by announcing the action publicly. When set off, the Pyraic Frobnotzer starts to gyrate. It foams. It steams. It continues to gyrate, with increasing angular momentum and wobble, until it is broken or destroyed.

When a Pyraic Frobnotzer has been gyrating continuously for one week, the following happens: If the Pyraic Frobnotzer's two nodes are attached to two noun phrases which are both plural or both singular, and the two noun phrases do not share the same occurrence of the same word, then those two noun phrases trade location within the Rule set, and the Pyraic Frobnotzer is destroyed in a magnificent gout of golden flame. Otherwise, the Pyraic Frobnotzer chokes, sputters, whines, and dies; it is then broken.

On December 3, the blueprint was amended by rule 1473, by changing the first occurrence of "amended" (near the end of paragraph 3) to "amended, repealed, or modified in any way". (as shown)

On December 27, the blueprint was amended by rule 1574, by adding "and the two noun phrases do not share the same occurrence of the same word," in the last paragraph (as shown)

Announced at: Sun, 10 Nov 1996 20:13:24 -0600 (CST)
Blueprint for Automatic Sculpture:

An Automatic Sculpture is a dull, slate gray box with an irregular pentagonal metal patch on one side. However, the inside is packed with folding robotic parts, chisels and files of many shapes, sizes, and hardnesses, polishers, and a small Grotz Counter (so that the Sculpture can detect when it has been buried.)

When an Automatic Sculpture is buried as, or as part of, a Treasure, it is possible that the panel may open up, minute polyjointed arms may sneak out, and the Gadget may carve itself into a fascinating (though perhaps offensively avant-garde) stone figurine. In fact, when a Player other than the Player who buried the Automatic Sculpture finds it, he or she shall see that the Automatic Sculpture has transformed itself into a Trinket worth A$123. (The Trinket's name is "Sculpture", followed by a space and then by a number, the least prime number that would result in a unique name.)

When an Automatic Sculpture transforms itself into a Trinket, The Officer in Charge of Random Things shall choose a player at random(who will be called the Mad Sculptor). The Mad Sculptor shall be responsible for providing a description of the trinket formed by the Automatic Sculpture. Should the Mad Sculptor not publicly post such a description within three days of being selected, e shall lose one point and the Officer in Charge of Random Things shall select a new Mad Sculptor.

However, when a Player buries an Automatic Sculpture and then finds it himself, he will find that it is a dull, slate gray box with an irregular pentagonal metal patch on one side. (It is unchanged.)

Rule 1693 on Feb 6, 1997 inserted the " , or as part of," near the start of the second paragraph.

P2193 on July 7, 1997 added the third paragraph ("When an Automatic Sculpture transforms itself into a trinket...").

Announced by Malenkai (Wizard) at Sun, 08 Dec 1996 11:52:56 -0500
Blueprint for "Gravitational Monopole"
The Gravitational Monopole is an ancient wonder that brings gravity to world otherwise lacking in that area. It has a large red button with an enscription in the ancient language on it, which roughly translates to: "Don't push me unless you know what you are doing".

If it is attached to any building which is dangling or otherwise detached from the earth, and successfully activated, it will cause the earth to fall to the building, thus reattaching it.

If it is attached to any building which is dangling or otherwise detached from the earth, and activated unsuccessfully, the effect will be reversed, causing the earth to fall away from the building, ripping the building's tethers apart, and leaving the building floating unattached in free space. Such buildings may still be reattached by players with wings as specified in Rule 1364, but the act is very strenuous, and all players participating in it will lose their wings after it is completed.

In order to use the Gravitational Monopole, the player possessing it must be located at a dangling building. They must attach the gadget, and push the red button. The player must accompany this button pushing ceremony with some sort of statement of bravado, such as "Hey, I know what I'm doing here". At this point it is considered activated.

The probability of the activation being unsuccessful is the building's size in land units divided by 20. Any activation which is not unsuccessful is successful. If the player activating the gadget is the AckaPhysicist, however, the divisor in the above calculation is 40 instead of 20.

After it is activated, the Officer in Charge of Random Things shall determine if the activation was successful or not, and the effects described above will occur. In addition, if the activation was unsuccessful, and the player activating it is the AckaPhysicist, he shall be deemed a quack, and this shall count towards his quack total.

Also, on an unsuccessful activation, the gadget will remain attached to the building in question, and the red button may not be pressed, nor may the gadget be moved, until that building is somehow reattached to the earth.

Amended by Rule 593 (self-deleting section from CSR 113), by changing 'Magnetic' to 'Gravitational' and correcting the spelling of 'Gravitational' (incorporated into text above).

Announced by Malenkai (Wizard) at Wed, 25 Dec 1996 01:39:23 -0500
Blueprint for "Evil Ballot Stuffer"
When created, the Evil Ballot Stuffer (EBS) is not broken.

The Evil Ballot Stuffer is green and has 2 levers, the large lever and the small lever.

The small lever is used to have the EBS cast an extra vote in Hearings and Elections. Whenever the possessor of an EBS casts a vote in a Hearing or and Election, they may announce along with that vote that they are flipping the small lever of the EBS, and it will cast another vote that is identical to the vote they made the announcement with. Only one such vote will be cast per Hearing or Election in this way per EBS.

The large lever is used to create Bonus Votes. The possessor of an EBS may flip the large lever by publically announcing they are doing so. Upon doing so, the EBS creates a Bonus Vote and transfers it to the player who flipped the lever, assuming no instance limits on Bonus Votes with respect to the game or that player would be exceeded. Regardless of whether the Bonus Vote was actually created in this case, the EBS then starts to shake and shimmy uncontrollably.

Upon an EBS starting to shake and shimmy uncontrollably, one of 3 things will occur, each with an equal probability of occurring as determined as needed by the Officer in charge of Random Things. An EBS may not be used between the time it starts to shimmy and shake and the time the this random determination is publically knowable:

1) The thing will sputter and die, and thus become broken.
2) The thing will explode in its operator's face, and thus be destroyed, but not before bellowing a raft of annoying laughter ridiculing its user throught the land of Acka.
3) The thing will teleport, and thus change possession to, another random active player.

Neither lever may be used if the EBS is broken, and only the player who possesses an EBS may use it, the previous provisions of this Blueprint notwithstanding. A broken EBS may only be fixed as described in the rules or by another Gadget empowered to do so.

On January 9, 1997, the Evil Ballot Stuffer deleted the following text from its Blueprint (which initially appeared at the beginning:

When created, the Evil Ballot Stuffer is not broken.

Text in this Blueprint which is not enclosed in double curly braces is only notes and comments, and does not describe the functioning of the Evil Ballot Stuffer in any way. This clause has precedence over any such text in the Blueprint.

Upon an Evil Ballot Stuffer (EBS) becoming owned by a player, the EBS shall perform the following actions in the order specified:

1) It shall amend Rule 1396, "Hearings", to replace the word "Players" in the final paragraph of that rule with:

"Players, and other entities capable of voting in hearings,"

2) It shall remove all text in double curly braces, inclusive, from the Blueprint for the Evil Ballot Stuffer.

At Thu, 23 Jan 1997 15:42:11 -0900, snowgod used a Blue Thing to change Red Barn's name to Bernard.
Announced by Malenkai (Wizard) at Tue, 28 Jan 1997 00:33:23 -0500
Blueprint for Jukkasjarvi Mind Control Laser
The Jukkasjarvi Mind Control Laser (JMCL) is an ancient cousin of the OMCL. Initially it is non-broken. It has a 'Push Me' button.

A player possessing a non-broken JMCL may point it at any other player who possesses one or more Tradeable of Gift entities with the string 'Jukkasjarvi' in the entity's name (Qualified Entity).

Upon doing so, amd naming a specific Qualified Entity in the possession of the target player, and pressing the 'Push Me' button, the specified entity is transferred from the target player to the owner of the JMCL, then the JMCL is transferred to the target player.

JMCL's are indestructible.

Announced by Malenkai (Wizard) at Sat, 15 Feb 1997 00:03:48 -0500
Blueprint for Spell Book of Chorg
When initially created, a Spell Book of Chorg (Book) has 21 pages, unless a different number is described by the rules causing its creation. A Book with one or more pages is indestructible, except as described below. A Book with zero pages is useless (except the Museum may take it at full value).

Pages are numbered sequentially, starting at 1, thru the number of pages in the Book when the Book was created. Once so numbered, at creation time, page numbers in the Book do not change. Each page contains a spell.

A player who possesses a Book may read the spell on the page with the lowest number by announcing this action publically, provided no other page has been read from that Book in the same calendar week. After the effect described below occurs, the page so read is removed from the Book and destroyed in a pyrotechnic display as described by the reader. One of the following effects shall occur, depending on the number of the page read:

1) If the page number was evenly divisible by 21, a random Boon of the Ancients is created and bestowed to the reader.

2) Otherwise, if the page number was evenly divisible by 5, a random Gadget other than a Spell Book of Chorg is created and transferred to the reader. However, this gadget is ephemeral; it will be destroyed 3 days after it is publically knowable what it is (if it still exists), unless it is indestructible, in which case it will be transferred Somewhere Else at that time. For the purposes of this section, the Book itself is said to be doing this destruction or transferrance, as appropriate.

3) Otherwise, a random Otzma card is created and transferred to the reader, all cards having equal probabilities, except that card types which exist at their instance limits shall have no probability of being created. If, however, this creation would exceed any other limits of the Otzma cards, it does not occur, and the Book is destroyed in a vile display of chartreuse smoke instead.

Exception: If the reader of the Book is wearing the Shades of Chorg, they have a better understanding of the spells. Instead of the above determinations being random, they may choose the Boon, Gadget, or Otzma card to be created, as the case may be, provided no limits are exceeded. Otherwise, the above effects work as described for the random selection case. If they do not announce their choice in this case, though, the random determination is used anyway.

If a player possessing the Spell Book of Chorg is ever burned as described in the rules, the Book is immediately destroyed, being that it is made of really old parchment.

Announced by Mohammed (Inventor) at Mon, 24 Feb 1997 15:59:15 -0600
Blueprint for Plunky Monkey Wrench
A Plunky Monkey Wrench is a masterpiece of metallurgical engineering. It can be adjusted to fit bolts of any size and works perfectly in zero gravity.

A player who has a Plunky Monkey Wrench may throw it into any unbroken mechanical Gadget. The Wrench is then destroyed, and the mechanical Gadget into which it was thrown becomes broken.

A player who has a Plunky Monkey Wrench, a broken mechanical Gadget, and A$ 30 can try to fix the Gadget with the Plunky Monkey Wrench, assuming he or she has not already tried to fix the Gadget in the past three days. When this is done, the A$ 30 is transferred from the player to the Treasury. There is a fifty-percent chance that the mechanical Gadget then ceases to be broken; whether or not this happens shall be determined by the Inventor, unless the rules assign that duty to someone else.

For the purposes of this Blueprint, a Gadget is mechanical if and only if its Blueprint says that it is.

Announced by Mohammed (Inventor) at Thu, 6 Mar 1997 06:10:48 -0600 (CST)
Blueprint for Bonus Vote Add-On
The Bonus Vote Add-On is a mechanical Gadget. When it is created, it is not broken.

A player who has both a Vending Machine and an unbroken Bonus Vote Add-On can strap the Add-On to the Vending Machine. The owner of a Bonus Vote Add-On can unstrap it if it is strapped to something. Should either the Add-On or the Vending Machine change ownership while one is strapped to the other, the Add-On becomes unstrapped.

While an unbroken Bonus Vote Add-On is strapped to a Vending Machine, the Vending Machine can vend Bonus Votes. The price of a Bonus Vote is A$ 500, to begin with.

If a player ever buys a Bonus Vote from a Vending Machine he or she owns, the new Bonus Vote is immediately destroyed. At midnight on Sunday, if more than 5 Bonus Votes were purchased from the same Vending Machine during the past 7 days, then the Bonus Vote Add-On attached to that Vending Machine will smash to the ground and become unstrapped and broken. It will also spurt lots of nasty smoke.

It is dangerous to operate on a broken Bonus Vote Add-On. Whenever someone tries to use a Plunky Monkey Wrench to fix a broken Bonus Vote Add-On and is unsuccessful, the Bonus Vote Add-On explodes, and the Player who tried to fix it is transported to the Ackanomic Afterlife. Further, if the Player who tried to fix it did not announce at the time that he or she made sure to be well clear of everything fragile, all Trinkets and destructible Gadgets he or she owns are destroyed. The Bonus Vote Add-On is destroyed in the explosion.

Announced by Malenkai (Wizard) at Sun, 09 Mar 1997 22:20:29 -0500
Blueprint for Gimme Shelter
The Gimme Shelter is a small tent. It is canvas with a repeating pattern of 3 black squares followed by one white one, and it also comes with brass spikes and poles. It is either "Pitched" or "In the Box". A Gimme Shelter is In the Box when created.

The owner of an In the Box Gimme Shelter may Pitch it by publically announcing they are doing so, provided they are in a Location with no player other than themselves. The Gimme Shelter is considered Pitched in the Location the player was when they announced they were Pitching it.

A Pitched Gimme Shelter may never be put back In the Box, nor may its Location be changed, except as described in this Blueprint or in the Rules. A Pitched Gimme Shelter which changes Locations is destroyed immediately after doing so.

The owner of the Pitched Gimme Shelter is Sheltered as long as they remain in the same Location as it. The single player other than the owner who is in, and has been in, that Location the longest amount of time is also Sheltered.

A Pitched Gimme Shelter is destroyed in a tatter of black and white canvas 10 minutes after any Tornado sweeps through Acka.

Announced by /dev/joe (Archaeologist) at Fri, 30 May 1997 01:50:30 -0500 (CDT)
Blueprint for Oscar
A Oscar is a golden statuette with a red button at its base. The owner of an Oscar may use it by pressing the button and pointing it at any contract, and announcing this publicly. When this is done, the Oscar will place its owner's signature at the bottom of that contract.

Raw materials of 1 processing chips are required.

Announced by Malenkai (Wizard) at Sat, 07 Jun 1997 02:22:33 -0400
Blueprint for the Cheez-Whiz
The Cheez-Whiz is a small pyramid. 3 of its sides are white, whilst the 4th is black. A Cheez-Whiz will transfer all of its owner's Ackadollars to the Treasury if its owner legally chews the Gumball. It is said that the Cheez-Whiz can also be used to help find long lost Treasure.

All sentences that follow this one are, or describe, attributes of grapefruit, and they conflict with this one.

Raw materials of 1 processing chips are required.

Announced by Alfvaen (Mad Scientist) at Sat, 7 Jun 1997 20:25:29 -0600 (MDT)
Blueprint for Azpiazu (Frankenstein Monster)
All sentences that follow this one are, or describe, attributes of Azpiazu, and they conflict with this one.

Announced by Malenkai (Wizard) at Thu, 19 Jun 1997 22:30:02 -0400
Blueprint for Pulse Laser
A Pulse Laser is a mechanical gadget. It is mounted on a solid brass base, from which it conveniently swivels. It is about 3 meters long, but it is amazingly light. It has leather handgrips for easy control, and a slot near the handgrips for fuel. On its left side are 4 buttons: 2 red ones, a yellow one, followed by another red one. Only the yellow one has any function. Initially it is unbroken.

Due to its size, it must be aimed from the top of a Tower, (and therefore may only be aimed when its possessor is in a Location with a Tower). The Laser is used by following this procedure:

a) Its possessor aims it at a Proposal under voting consideration by announcing the Proposal's number publically, along with a brief description of what the Laser's beam is going to do to the Proposal when it hits (the content of the description has no actual effect).

b) Its possessor puts one Otzma card and a quantity of A$ equal to the proposal number divided by 13 into the fuel slot. The A$ are immediately transferred to the Treasury by the Laser, and the Otzma card is destroyed by the Laser.

c) The Laser warms up for 24 hours. While doing so, it makes an annoying pulsing noise that can be heard in an approximately 3 kaa radius around where it is being used. It is not possible to get any sleep while in the radius of this earsore. It is said that this sound will attract the attention of Aliens, and its significance is rumored to be described in the pages of the Codex of Kra...

d) At any time after the completion of the warm up period, provided the Laser was unbroken for the duration of this procedure, and provided the Proposal in question is still under voting consideration, its possessor may press the yellow button as a public action. Upon doing so, a chartreuse beam from the Laser will zap the Proposal into oblivion; the Laser will render the Proposal invalid, removing it from voting consideration. The Laser will also deduct 5 points from the author of the Proposal's score, if the author is a player. If the button remains unpressed, the annoying pulsing noise will continue until the Laser is broken, destroyed, or re-aimed (re-aiming terminates an instance of this procedure, and starts another one).

e) Immediate After effects of the zapping: If the Proposal in question was Guarded, the Laser will short out and explode, destroying the Tower it is being aimed from, and then destroying itself in a radioactive fireball. Otherwise, if the Proposal in question's number was prime, the Laser will backfire and break. These Ancients, poor quality control, silly design, and odd choice of component materials :(.

f) In any case, the pulsing stops, as does this procedure.

A Laser need not be aimed, only unbroken, for it to have the following effects:

1) If a Proposal is ever submitted that is substantially similar in the game effect it would have if accepted to a Proposal zapped by a particular Laser in the past 30 days, that Laser immediately invalidates that Proposal and removes it from consideration (without any other after effects), as there is still the vestiges of a field remaining from the previous zapping.

2) If a player possessing a Laser also possesses a Widget of Yendor, the Laser immediately breaks, as it is well known that the field from the Widget gizzes out the Laser's computer systems.

Raw materials of 2 processing chips are required.

Announced by Malenkai (Wizard) at Wed, 25 Jun 1997 00:07:27 -0400
Blueprint for Silver Spaceship
The Silver Spaceship is a spaceship. It is also a mechanical gadget. Its top section looks like a large balloon filled with hot air, with ropes dangling down from the balloon-like section and attached to a basket-like section beneath the balloon-like section. There are heavy bags of a silicon dioxide-like substance tied to the basket-like section. The balloon-like section is decorated by 4 horizontal bands: 2 chartreuse bands followed by a yellow band, followed by a chartreuse band. No part of it is silver in color. There is room for one person in the basket.

An unbroken Silver Spaceship may be launched by its possessor, provided e is in the Wilds of Ackanomia (these things make too much noise), by publically posting an original piece of poetry or lyrical composition of at least 5 lines that contains the words "They", "Might", "Be", and "Giants" anywhere in its text, and by posting any other text as required by the rules for spaceship launch, and by unambiguously naming a location defined by the rules to be a Moon or Planet. Upon doing do, the player is transported to the Location named, and the Silver Spaceship becomes broken, unless the poetry used in the launch was a sonnet. The Poet Laureate shall be the final authority as to whether the poetry used qualifies per above, or was in fact a sonnet, if the question is raised.

Raw materials of 1 processing chips are required.

Announced by Malenkai (Wizard) at Thu, 17 Jul 1997 02:50:01 -0400
Blueprint for BWG Laser
The BWG Laser is large. It has a business end and a fuel input end. The only sort of fuel it takes are trinkets who's value is a 3 or 7 digit prime number. Initially the business end is aimed at the Museum.

The BWG laser is operated as follows. Any active player may aim the business end at an active, non-sheltered, player. It will remain aimed at that player until it is re-aimed as described in the previous sentence, or until that player leaves the game (in which case it will be aimed at their undead).

Whenever the business end is aimed at an active, non-sheltered player, any active player may place a trinket in the fuel input end. If the trinket is the sort of fuel it takes, the BWG laser will transfer the trinket to the player it is aimed at, then fire a Pulse Beam at them. If the trinket is not the sort of fuel it takes, the BWG laser will transfer the trinket to the Synod, if such an entity exists, otherwise the trinket will be transfered to the McCumber Annex of the Museum.

Whenever the Pulse Beam is fired at a player, one of two things will happen: If the target has a Pulse Shovel, the pulse beam will bounce off the Pulse Shovel, cause the Pulse Shovel to be transferred to a random active player, and then be considered to be fired at the player who provided the laser with fuel. If the target does not have a Pulse Shovel, the target is Hosed for 3 days.

Whenever a player is Hosed by a BWG laser, all public messages by them should contain nothing but poetry, specifically original haikus, limericks, sonnets, and rhymed couplets, and no other forms (except of course, proper madrigals). Whenever a Hosed player authors a public message that contains something other than this (excluding customary headers, quoted material written by someone else, or customary instructions to officers), the BWG laser will transfer A$79 from them to the Treasury. If, however, they do not have that much, it will transfer that sum from a random organization which they are a member that has that sum. If no such organization exists either, the player is deemed Weird, with no further effects, unless they are the Harfmeister, in which case they are deemed Really Weird.

Raw materials of 1 processing chips are required.

Announced by Alfvaen (Scientist for a Day otzma card) at Thu, 17 Jul 1997 23:37:37 -0600 (MDT)
Blueprint for Butler
A Butler is a robotic creature about seven feet tall. Its head is featureless except for a speaker grille, and it has several arms(the exact number varies, but the number of arms does not affect the Butler's functioning).

A player who owns a Butler may set it to automatically welcome visitors into eir Home. If the Butler is so set, then any player who wishes to may enter that player's Home. When setting the Butler to welcome visitors, the owner may specify a duration(up to a week)during which the Butler will do so; if the owner does not specify such a duration, the Butler will do so for three days. After performing such duty, the Butler must rest and recharge itself, and it will be an equal length of time before it may perform such services again.

In addition, the Butler's owner may provide it with an ordered list of entities(which e must own), and set it to distribute these entities to guests. When the Butler is in "welcoming" mode, it will give one entity to each guest who arrives at it's owner's Home who has not already done so since it was last set to welcome visitors, in the order that was specified by its owner. The owner may add entities to the end of the list, or remove entities from the list, at any time; if e transfers an entity on the list to another player, or uses it in any way, it is assumed to be removed from the list. This duty is even more taxing to the Butler, however, and after it has finished performing it one Processing Chip must be given to it for every ten entities in the list (including any additions made after the initial list), or the Butler will become Broken.

The Butler will become Broken if at any time its owner's House begins to dangle, because the unaccustomed shock will upset its delicate circuitry.