The Rules of Ackanomic: Ackanomic Sound System

Rule 950/7
Ackanomic Sound System Rule Suite
Slagothor (Eric Plumb)

I. Ackanomic Sound System & Songs

There exists a unique, unownable entity known as the Ackanomic Sound System (hereafter, for purposes of the Rules in this Rule Suite, known as the ASS.)

There exists a class of named unownable entities known as Ackanomic Sound System Songs (hereafter, for purposes of the Rules in this Rule Suite, known as Songs.) Songs may be either Mundane or Esoteric, but not both.

A Mundane Song is one that has no trigger or game effects defined in a Rule in this Rule Suite. An Esoteric Song is one that has a Trigger and Effect defined in a Rule in this Rule Suite.

II. Description and Usage

Nobody knows for certain the location of the ASS, for its music is audible at exactly the same unobtrusive volume throughout the whole of Ackanomic. It is said that those who wish not to hear the music of the ASS may place one or more of their heads inside it. Unfortunately, doing so will not exclude them from the music's effects.

The control panel for the ASS is located in the Ackanomic Library. Any entity which is in the Library may play a Mundane Song on the ASS as a public action simply by stating the name of the song and the artist or artists who perform the version of the song they wish to hear. If the ASS is not currently playing an Esoteric song, the requested Mundane song will begin playing after a pause of an infinitesimal amount of time to switch tracks.

Any entity which is in the Library may play any Esoteric Song as a public action. To do so, that entity must state the name of the Song it wishes to play and place either an amount of A$ equal to the Song's Cost or a single Token into the banna-shaped slot on the ASS's control panel. This action fails if the entity does not own sufficient A$, or has no Tokens. If the action was successful, the Esoteric Song requested immediately begins playing as described below, with full effects, unless there is already an Esoteric Song playing on the ASS. When this happens, any A$ placed into the slot is transferred to the Treasury, and any Tokens placed into the slot are destroyed.

III. Office of DeeJay.

The Office of DeeJay is an Optional, Political Office. If this Office is not filled, or if the player holding this Office is absent, no Esoteric Songs will be played on the ASS.

The Duties of the DeeJay are:

a) To monitor the game state and determine when Esoteric Songs begin and cease playing, and to post a public message naming the Song in question and its effects, if any, whenever either happens.

b) To maintain a record of whether an Esoteric Song is playing on the ASS, and if so, which Song and its effects. The preferred medium for this Duty is HTML.

c) To publically announce when a player has been awarded a Token as described below, in section IV.

The Privileges of the DeeJay are:

d) To declare a Moment of Silence lasting no more than one Acka week in which no Songs may be played on the ASS. This Privilege may not be exercised if it has been exercised within the past forty days, or if an Esoteric Song is currently playing on the ASS.

On the first day of any calendar month whose ordinal number is evenly divisible by three, the player holding the Office of DeeJay shall step down from said Office as described in Rule 401 section vii.

IV. Creating And Playing Esoteric Songs

Esoteric Songs are defined by sub-rules of this Rule Suite, and nowhere else. A Rule that is part of this Rule Suite may define more than one Esoteric Song. Any definition of an Esoteric Song must include at least the following four lettered attributes of the song:

Any player who submits a Proposal which successfully adds one or more Esoteric Songs to this Rule Suite shall gain one Token upon the acceptance of such a Proposal. This Token shall be created in eir possession upon the announcement of this fact by the DeeJay. Tokens are tradeable Entities. The act of placing a Token into the banna-shaped slot of the ASS' control panel destroys that Token.

a) Title: the title, or name, of the Song.

b) Artist: the artist or artists who wrote and/or performed the Song.

c) Trigger: a condition referring to the Ackanomic game state that can, at any time, be easily and unambiguously identified to be either true or false. [e.g. "Four or more players have a score of above 300."]

d) Effect: the effect, if any, that the playing of this Song has on the game and/or game state of Ackanomic.

The definition is encouraged, but not required, to include these three attributes also:

e) Cost: The amount of A$ which must be placed in the banna-shaped slot in the ASS' control panel to play this Song. If the Cost is not specified, it defaults to Infinite; i.e., the Song cannot be purchased with A$ as described above.

f) Duration: The length of time for which the Song will play if not interrupted. If this is not included, it defaults to three days.

g) Explanation: The player submitting an Esoteric Song is encouraged to explain why the game effects pertain to the title or lyrics of the song.

An Esoteric Song will begin playing immediately upon its Trigger becoming true as long as the Office of DeeJay is filled by an active player. In this case, the Esoteric Song will begin playing regardless of any other Song that may be playing on the ASS. The Song will continue playing until one or more of the following become true:

- its Duration is expired and its Trigger is not true, or
- another Esoteric Song's Trigger becomes true,

upon any of which it will stop playing. All game Effects described in the Song's definition will begin instantaneously when the Song starts to play, and cease immediately when the Song stops playing, unless specified otherwise in the Rule creating the Song.

If a rule defining an esoteric song is created and that song is currently being played as a mundane song then the song instantly ceases to be being played and instead the song Barbie Girl by Aqua is played [to encourage people to change it as quickly as possible].

V. Scope

Rules defining Esoteric Songs may also define entities other than those Songs. However, an entity defined in a Rule defining an Esoteric Song may never change the game state in any way unless that Song is currently playing on the ASS. The entity will go Somewhere Else as soon as the Song ceases playing, and any effects that its presence has on the game state will cease.

However, any permanent changes made to the game state by a Song or an entity defined in a Song will not be lost once the Song stops playing.

[For example, if the Magic Potato were defined in such a Rule, its owner would no longer get its bonuses once it left, but would keep any points e had gained from it while the Song ("Don't pick it up, pick it up, pick it up") was playing.]

VI. Precedence

This Rule takes precedence over any Rules which state or imply that the playing of a Song on the Ackanomic Sound System can have no effect on the game and/or game state of Ackanomic.

All Rules that are part of this Rule Suite defer precedence to any Rules with which they might conflict, except as stated explicitly in a Rule that is a member of this Rule Suite.

VII. Custodianship

The DeeJay is Custodian of the Ackanomic Sound System Rule Suite (the 950.Y rules).

[Ackanomic Sound System Rules.]

Rule 950.1/1
ASS Song: Chess Piece Face
Slagothor (Eric Plumb)

Title: Chess Piece Face

Artist: They Might Be Giants

Trigger: When a Swinger wins a Stabber's Knife in the game of Party Chess.

Duration: Three Acka days.

Cost: A$150

Effect: While this song is playing, the nose of the main head of each and every Acka player is replaced by a chess piece. Players are encouraged to describe the color, shape, board move, and game effects of their chess pieces while this song is playing, and a player shall gain 6 points the first time e publically describes all four of the above. Players are also encouraged to mock other players' choice of pieces, but are subject to Rule 374 (Politeness Moon) while doing so. Players may state that their chess piece has any game effect they like, but chess pieces, as defined by this Rule, have no game effect whatsoever.

Explanation: "What's gonna happen to Chess Piece Face?" ["Chess Piece Face," They Might Be Giants]

Rule 950.2/0
ASS song: No-one But You
The Gingham Wearer (Tom Walmsley)

Title: No-one But You (Only the Good Die Young)

Artist: Queen

Trigger: Whenever a player is inducted into the hall of elders.

Duration: Three Acka days.

Effect: All players are so struck with sadness that they must remain in the same location, mourning, whilst the song is being played. This section of this rule defers to any rule that requires any player to change location as an involuntary action [e.g. Bracket Smiley Pedantry].

Explanation: "One by one, only the good die young." [No-one But You (Only the Good Die Young), Queen]. Further honouring of the elders.

Rule 950.3/2
ASS Song: Werewolves of London
Hubert (Eric Plumb)

Title: Werewolves of London

Artist: Warren Zevon

Trigger: It is publically knowable that one or more Ackanomic moons are full.

Duration: Until the moon or moons that triggered this song are no longer full, or six Acka days, whichever comes first.

Cost: A$199

Effect: When this song is triggered, the Werewolf of London (hereafter Werewolf) begins to roam the streets of Ackanomic. Each time, while this Song is playing on the ASS, that one or more of the following three conditions become true:

a) a player's Location changes, whether voluntarily or not,
b) any two players post messages to public fora, each mentioning that a certain other player "got mutilated late last night," ["Werewolves of London," Warren Zevon]

the Werewolf will bite the player for whom that condition is true.

The Werewolf of London is a unique, unownable entity. If the Werewolf should bite a player, that player becomes Lycanthropic in the animal of eir choice if e is not Lycanthropic already. If e has not chosen an animal within three days, an animal shall be assigned to em by the Mad Scientist.

Players may only become Lycanthropic as defined by the Rules. The Web-Harfer is encouraged to provide an account of which players are Lycanthropic, and in which animal.

Explanation: "Ah-ooooo, the Werewolves of London." ["Werewolves of London," Warren Zevon]

Rule 950.4/0
ASS Song: Ode to Joy
K 2 (Kelly Kelly)

Title: Ode to Joy; Allegro assai, fr Symphony No. 9 in d, Op. 125, Choral

Artist: Music by Beethoven

Trigger: Whenever a proposal has been accepted which was authored by a player who had never had a proposal accepted before.


i) Every player that voted yes on the proposal that triggered the song gains one point.

ii) Any player who's score is within 5% of the happy number may change eir score to the happy number as a public action.

iii) Whenever a player has a score which is exactly equal to the sad number e gains one point.

Duration: Three Acka days.

Explanation: "That way, everyone's happy." [Terry Pratchett, Small Gods]

Timestamp: Fri 02 Oct 1998 08:13 EDT

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