SILLY VACATION HAT ARCHIVE



Silly Vacation Hats are governed by rule 927


At Tue, 9 Jul 1996 16:54 CDT, /dev/joe chose these Mad Hatters in accordance with the newly passed rule 937:

chess piece face: Niccolo Flychuck
fon: Wayne
Robert Sevin: ThinMan
Simon Marty Harriman: Mohammed

At Thu, 11 Jul 1996 09:47 CDT, ThinMan announced the design of a SVH for Robert Sevin:
Robert Sevin's Silly Vacaction Hat is a three-foot-wide plexiglass sombrero. The brim is turned up at the edge to a height of two inches, and the brim is filled with water to a depth of 1 1/2". A recirculating pump creates three waterspouts around the crown of the hat that spray streams of water into the brim. The ring-shaped pool in the brim of the hat is home to two snails, six guppies, and a family of goldfish.

The hat may be firmly affixed to the wearer's head by means of a pretty, pink, silk chin-strap.


As of Fri, 12 Jul 1996 16:54 CDT, these Mad Hatters had not posted their hat designs:
chess piece face: Niccolo Flychuck
fon: Wayne
Simon Marty Harriman: Mohammed

At Sat, 13 Jul 1996 15:59 CDT, /dev/joe announced some new Mad Hatters:
for chess piece face: Robert Sevin
for fon: Malenkai
for Simon Marty Harriman: Robin Hood

At Sun, 14 Jul 1996 17:50 +0100, Robin Hood announced this design of a SVH for Simon Marty Harriman:
It is a cross-cap (see Mobies band) with a 6 foot brim attached all made of silk which has been decorated with phospherescent dyes. The brim is a startling shade of pink, while the rest is coloured with purple and emrald green stipes in a nice spiral.
At the point where the silk blurs through the 4th dimension a large metal flagpole is attached, 10 feet high, flying the red duster.

At Sun, 14 Jul 1996 23:30 -0400, Malenkai announced this design of a SVH for fon:
fon's Silly Vacation Hat is a five meter tall top hat made of lemon-lime jello. Perched upon its top, is the Chartreuse Goose, when the Goose is not Elsewhere. Hanging from the brim of the hat are three tenticles of chocolate; at the end of each is a large onion. Wrapped around the center of the hat is a band of cloudberries from Saami land, and the jello tastes like cloudberry liqueur. Embedded in the jello is the text of the ideal ruleset.

Whenever its wearer utters the word "rule", the Goose perched on top utters the word "cheese" very loudly, immediately afterwords. Whenever its wearer utters the word "vote", the Goose utters the word "burger", very loudly. Whenever its wearer utters the number 257, the Goose sings the lyrics to Iron Maiden's "Rime of the Ancient Mariner", very loudly.


At Tue, 16 Jul 1996 15:59 CDT, Robert Sevin lost 3 points for not posting a SVH design for chess piece face
At Thu, 18 Jun 1996, 23:01 CDT, /dev/joe announced another new mad hatter for chess piece face: De'ghew
At Fri, 19 Jul 1996 10:29 EDT, De'ghew announced this design of a SVH for chess piece face:
After hours at the forge, I have completed chess piece face's Silly Vacation Hat. Behold!

chess piece face's Silly Vacation Hat is a chess piece hat to match his chess piece face. The hat is roughly three feet tall and in the shape of a large rook mounted atop a shiny metal helm. The rook is constructed in such a manner as to be easily defendable, complete with arrow slits. Mounted on the sides, front and back of the rook are four miniature torches which burn continuously from the lifetime supply of propane stored within the hat.
A model knight, clad in glimmering bulbous armor, stands proudly atop the tower. The knight holds the flag of Ackanomia and his little arms are springloaded such that he waves the flag triumphantly whenever the hat is wiggled just a bit.
The base of the hat is a shiny metal helm which fits chess piece face's head almost perfectly. It is constructed of the finest double-thick steel which, although somewhat heavier than its thinner counterparts, affords extra protection for cpf's noggin. The helm also has a heavy steel visor which swings into place from above with a loud *CLANK*. With the visor closed, chess piece face's head is superbly protected from wind, rain and the occasional battle axe.

Wear it with honor, noble chess piece face!


At Sun, 4 Aug 1996 21:34 CDT, these mad hatters were chosen:
for Calvin N Hobbes: Malenkai
for Mellon: this is not a name
for Niccolo Flychuck: De'ghew
for Pascal: snowgod
for Techno: /dev/joe

At Sun, 4 Aug 1996 22:01 CDT, /dev/joe posted this SVH design for Techno:
This hat's brim is a full-size replica of the surface of the earth, which of course is flat. In the center of the hat, balanced over its wearer's head, is a full-size replica of the tallest building in Acka Land. On top of that is a full-size replica of the Amber Banana Tree.

On top of the building, under the shade of the replica tree, a replica player with the proposal number 1999 dances continuously to the tune of Prince's "1999" which is played from speakers within the building.

In the replica tree is a full-size replica of the Brass Monkey, which holds a full-size replica of the Bronze Umbrella so that it protects the replica tree; however, this is a Stainless Steel Umbrella which can withstand Acid Rain indefinitely. The monkey is saying something but it cannot be heard over the music.

A replica acid rain cloud is suspended above all this by three posts, and it continuously drops acid rain onto the umbrella; the acid rain is collected at the top of the building and recycled into the cloud by a pipe that runs inside one of the posts. The posts, building, and cloud are also made of stainless steel and are not damaged by the acid rain.


At Sun, 4 Aug 1996 23:16 EDT, this is not a name posted this SVH design for Mellon:
It is a single molecule of water, tactfully hovering three inches over the top of his head.

At Mon, 5 Aug 1996 03:18 -0800, snowgod posted this SVH design for Pascal:
Pascal's Silly Vacation Hat is shaped remarkably similar to the actual Pascal, only upside down. It is attached to Pascal's forehead at an identical place on the forehead of the Silly Vacation Hat. To the naked eye, it appears as if Pascal has sprouted a siamese twin from his forehead.

The hat is animated, and will mimic Pascal's every move.

Except for the high-tech polymer joints, ceramic gears and titanium push rods (all of wich are inside the SVH and hidden from view), the hat is made entirely of stryofoam, and has carefully painted with fingerpaints.


At Wed, 07 Aug 1996 18:39 EDT, Malenkai posted this SVH design for Calvin N Hobbes:
Calvin N Hobbes' Silly Vacation Hat is an infinite dimensional (one for each cell in the Gaol he is in), black pointy witch hat. Dimension 239 contains the FUN Party logo, which can only be seen by someone in that dimension.

The others contain 99 tiny Blue Cross emblems, one for each proposal he has written. On top of the hat sits a raven, which continually squawks "Hurry Back!".


At Wed, 7 Aug 1996 21:34 CDT, De'ghew lost 3 points for not posting a Silly Vacation Hat design for Niccolo Flychuck.
At Wed, 7 Aug 1996, 21:48 CDT, /dev/joe announced this Mad Hatter:
for Niccolo Flychuck: Techno
At Thu, 8 Aug 1996 23:06 CDT, Techno announced this SVH design for Niccolo Flychuck:
Niccolo Flychucks silly vacation hat is in the shape of Gilligan's Island. Through the middle of the island runs a babbling brook. On the banks of this brook sits an old man named Nick. Nick is chucking a fly into the brook with a fly fishing rod, attempting to catch the beautiful rainbow trout. On the far side of the island, behind Nick, is a giant volcano spewing skittles high into the air, in a rainbow of color that can be seen for miles.

At Wed, 21 Aug 1996, 11:57 CDT, /dev/joe announced this Mad Hatter:
for De'ghew: this is not a name
At Fri, 23 Aug 1996, 22:03 EDT, this is not a name announced this SVH design for De'ghew:
De'ghew's hat is Captain James T. Kirk from the original Star Trek series. Captain Kirk is holding three rutabagas and a large slice of watermelon to entice De'ghew to return quickly. He is also speaking Vulcan through a pocket translator.

At Fri, 13 Sep 1996 10:28:12 +0300 (EET), Niccolo Flychuck announced these Mad Hatters:
Bash has been chosen Mad Hatter for mr cwm
Habeus Corpus has been chosen as Mad Hatter for Geezer
At Fri, 13 Sep 1996 12:01:16 cst, Habeous Corpus announced this SVH design for Geezer:
Geezer's SVH is an ancient stove pipe hat with a height that will always match the magic number and a brim exactly 76 inches in circumfrance. the hat is made of the finest black silk, piped with chrome. Along the brim, completely surrounding the hat, are alternating black and white plastic rectangles. These are connected to elctrical contacts that control a synthesizer concealed within the hat. By pressing the contacts, geezer may play music which will emminate from the chrome piping. The hat also contains the most sensitive microphone in Ackanomia; if the hat hears the fat lady start singing, the hat will begin playing a prerecorded soulful dirge in honour of all the players who didn't just win. If the hat hears anyone being sentenced to Gaol, it will play a recording of "Alice's Resteraunt".

At Mon, 16 Sep 1996 10:10:17 +0200, Bash announced this SVH design for mr cwm:
Being new and all I haven't seen any designs for silly hats yet, so I hope my design is reasonable:
 \\  /---------\
  \-| o         \ /
    /\---        |
  --  \----------- 
       || ||  || ||
(you can not really see the hat since the elephant has swallowed it).

At Thu, 19 Sep 1996 01:46:40 +0200 (EET), Niccolo Flychuck announced this Mad Hatter:
IdiotBoy has been selected as mad hatter for PAscal
At Wed, 18 Sep 1996 22:15:56 -0400 (EDT), IdiotBoy announced this SVH design for Pascal:
Pascal's silly vacation hat is quite impractical, for it doesn't even cover his head. It consists of a Kevlar headband which fits snugly around Pascal's formidable skull. On the back of this headband are attached a set of guy wires, designed to be firmly connected to the belt loops on Pascal's pants. This will be quite necessary if Pascal wishes to view anything besides eir feet for, you see, hooked to the front of this headband is a 6 foot wide LED marquee sign. This sign scrolls messages, such as "cannot be determined with finality" and "more fun proposals", intended to bring more color into the life of Malenkai, should Pascal happen upon em.

At Tue, 24 Dec 1996 17:55:39 -0500 (EST), Malenkai announced this Mad Hatter:
snowgod has been selected as Mad Hatter for mr cwm.
At Wed, 25 Dec 1996 00:18:32 -0900, snowgod posted this SVH design for mr cwm:
mr cwm's Silly Vacation Hat is a tall, pointy red stocking cap, trimmed with the finest white fur. The tip of the hat, which is complete with fur dongly ball, bends down and hangs about even with his ear. Attached to the hat is a marvelous fake white beard the melds itself to its wthe face of it's wearer in a most convincing way.

When worn, the wearer will appear to be dessed all in fur, from his head to his foot, his clothes looking all tarnished, with ashes, and soot, a bundle of toys, flung over his back, he'll look just like a pedler just opening his pack. His eyes, how they'll twinkle, his dimples so merry. His cheeks 'll be like roses, his nose, like a cherry! His droll little mouth will be drawn up like a bow, and his fake beard will be as white as the snow. The stump of a pipe, you'll see tween his teeth, and the smoke will encircle his head like a wreath. He'll have a broad face, and a little round belly, and it'll shake, when he laughs, like a bowl full of jelly.

Indeed, the SVH, when worn will make mr cwm look a a right jolly old elf. You'll laugh when you see him, in spite of yourself.


At Sat, 04 Jan 1997 18:26:54 -0500, Malenkai announced this Mad Hatter:
Mohammed has been chosen as mad hatter for 23 Skidoo.

Mohammed failed to post a SVH design.


At Tue, 07 Jan 1997 22:13:09 -0500, Malenkai announced this Mad Hatter:
AirHead has been chosen as mad hatter for 23 Skidoo.

AirHead failed to post a SVH design.


At Fri, 10 Jan 1997 08:25:00 -0500, Malenkai announced this Mad Hatter:
snowgod has been chosen as mad hatter for BuzzBee.
At Sat, 11 Jan 1997 16:40:37 -0500, Malenkai announced this Mad Hatter:
ThinMan has been chosen as mad hatter for 23 Skidoo.
At Sat, 11 Jan 1997 13:03:14 -0900, snowgod posted this SVH for BuzzBee:
BuzzBee's silly vacation hat is bowling pin with internal neon lighting. It is held firmly atop of his head by the octopus wrapped around it (and presumably him).

At Mon, 13 Jan 1997 09:17:32 -0500, ThinMan posted this SVH for 23 Skidoo:
23 Skidoo's Silly Vacation Hat is a white, fur-lined arctic cap with an integrated electronic thermometer. A life-sized cardboard cutout of Michael Jordan's face is attached to the forehead of the cap by an extending arm that keeps the top of the cutout at a constant height of 6 feet, 6 inches above the ground. The back of the cap is enblazoned with red numerals "23". The wearer of this hat is enabled to hit reverse slam dunks and 26 foot jumpshots with equal ease, so long as the temperature is at least 23 degrees (Celcius, of course).

At Thu, 20 Feb 1997 19:01:37 -0500, Malenkai announced fnord as the mad hatter for Bascule.
At Sun, 23 Feb 1997 12:29:22 -0800, fnord posted this SVH design for Bascule:
Oh, I've worked up a wonderful little chapeau for Bascule.

The hat has a very wide, very flat (just like the earth) brim, on which miniature grass is growing. Miniature mechanized cows are munching on the foliage contentedly, as cows eat grass.

In the center of this miniature meadow rises a pyramid, with an all-seeing eye rotating on the peak. Looking closely at the pyramid, (ignoring the disquieting gaze of the all-seeing eye), one can read the entire known wisdom of Phoebe, the Steel Flea, as it is printed on all four sides of the pyramid.

Bascule's head will fit inside the concave side of the pyramid, so it needs no straps to stay on his head.


At Tue, 03 Jun 1997 22:10:36 -0400, Malenkai belatedly announced CarsesraC as a mad hatter for Malenkai.
At Sun, 08 Jun 1997 11:58:17 -0400, Malenkai reported that CarsesraC failed to post a design, and selected Calvin N Hobbes as mad hatter.
At Sun, 8 Jun 1997 22:30:27 -0500 (CDT), Calvin N Hobbes posted this design:
Description of the Hat:

Malenkai's SVH is just an upside down flower pot with a pink flower sticking out. The pot is of an orange colour only small children with an unsettling taste for comic book shaped pasta will find appetizing. Other people just find it strangely amusing. The pink flower on it's yellowish-green stem adds a touch that the gutter press will describe as stereotypically excentric but which the self adoring critics of style will find neo retro avant garde.

CFJ 397 determined that this SVH creation and mad hatter assignment did not occur.
At Tue, 24 Jun 1997 20:19:04 -0400, Malenkai selected Calvin N Hobbes as mad hatter for CarsesraC.
At Thu, 26 Jun 1997 01:07:27 -0500 (CDT), Calvin N Hobbes delivered this SVH:
CarsesraC's Silly Vacation Hat has the shaped of a goblin, upside down, such that when on the player it seems to be head down, feet up and on its own chubby hands. Perhaps one may stare long enough at it and get past a disturbing smile half full of egg yoke colored teeth -- it's actually a frown though, the goblin is upside down. Once past that blotted facial expression and the grizzled drab garbs hung on that brawny, wider than taller, spawn-a-freak, the observer will see an endearing aloofness to a goblin playing sandwichman. Forgetting the poorly color coordinated rouge of the boards, that observer will see two messages: "Never odd or even" and "Murder for a jar of red rum". Upside down messages, of course...

At Sun, 29 Jun 1997 01:01:14 -0400, Malenkai chose Mr. Lunatic Fringe as mad hatter for Voting Gnome.
At Sun, 29 Jun 1997 10:52:13 -0800 (AKDT), Mr. Lunatic Fringe posted this SVH for Voting Gnome:
Voting Gnome's silly vacation hat is a live Manatee, an endangered sea cow, worn firmly, but slightly tipped, above his brow. It is an endangered species, both as a mammal and as a hat. A sign hangs from it's real flipper that reads "Save the Manatee, save the SVH."

Mr. Lunatic Fringe
Endangered Mad Hatter
Possibly the last of his kind?




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