Subject: ackanomic Digest V4 #182
From: [email-masked]
To: ackanomic digest users <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 00:00:01 -400 (EDT)

ackanomic Digest	Friday, July 09 1999	Volume: 04  Issue: 182

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From: JT <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Housing
Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 00:44:27 -0400 (EDT)

I go to my home.

I change the name of my house to "FREEWHEEL SKI CAR".
I change the description of my house to "This house looks rather odd.  It
looks like an ALP on wheels, with a door painted SOOT grey against the
lighter shade of grey of the rest of it.  In the front yard stands a
purple STORK holding a catchers MITT, and there is a DAM across the small
stream that flows over the lawn, probably to AID in making sure the stork
has fresh water.  Across the lintel of the door stands the word 'VIZ' in
stark black letters, and on the welcome mat, it says 'CON' instead of
anything even remotely normal."

---------------------------
ECCLESIASTIC CEDE FREEWHEEL HERTZ PERK KEPT HONK NORTH THROWN STORK
HIS VOW CONDESCEND REFEREEING HIGH INSTITUTION LIMIT MITT VIZ SUM SOOT
TROT TOY DISCO ICE SITE SKI CAN AID CON AREA BATH FAN FEE SAGA CAR DAM
CAP ASIA ALP
---------------------------

--Dragon Mage

-- 
[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[ Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.                  ]
[ It's hard to seize the day when you must first grapple with the morning ]
[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]

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From: JT Traub <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: *Ping*
Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 12:14:53 -0400 (EDT)

Today is Friday the 9th day of July, and the Machine That Goes *ping*
has gone *ping* today.  Since I have been scholar, the Machine has
gone *ping* 3 times.

--Dragon Mage

-- 

Once in an ECCLESIASTIC DISCO
I found a router made by cisco.
I tried to LIMIT it's INSTITUTION,
for use in giving absolution.
I somehow got it's FAN to work,
but at higher HERTZ it didn't PERK.
An ICE BATH then to cool it off,
Still t'would HONK and wheeze and cough.
Aghast at this, I took it NORTH,
past ASIA, I did TROT it forth.
I dumped it at the polar CAP,
then back to the SITE in a snap.
The router dead, I looked on HIGH,
and offered up a mighty sigh,
for there above me stood a being
judging, even REFEREEING,
how I dealt with all my joy
at destroying that evil TOY.

------------------------
ECCLESIASTIC CEDE FREEWHEEL HERTZ PERK KEPT HONK NORTH THROWN STORK
HIS VOW CONDESCEND REFEREEING HIGH INSTITUTION LIMIT MITT VIZ SUM SOOT
TROT TOY DISCO ICE SITE SKI CAN AID CON AREA BATH FAN FEE SAGA CAR DAM
CAP ASIA ALP
------------------------

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From: Gabe Drummond-Cole <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: a song, please
Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 18:09:18 -0400 (EDT)

In view of the FISTICUFFERY that has taken place recently involving the
Ackanomic Sound System, and in view of the MULTIPERFORATED state and
DEFENSELESSNESS of the rules, I have decided to play another esoteric song
to bolster Acka for the days to come.  I (convert 1 mannna into A$2) 25
times.  I dissolve the trinket 'Large Rock' (which I never gave to Studge)
into A$100.  Now I go to the Library and place A$150 into the banna-shaped
slot of the ASS control panel, naming the song Chess Piece Face. I go home.

As ACTUARY of said sound system, or DeeJay, I announce that the song Chess
Piece Face is playing.  The song's effect is this:

Effect: While this song is playing, the nose of the main head of each
   and every Acka player is replaced by a chess piece. Players are
   encouraged to describe the color, shape, board move, and game effects
   of their chess pieces while this song is playing, and a player shall
   gain 6 points the first time e publically describes all four of the
   above. Players are also encouraged to mock other players' choice of
   pieces, but are subject to Rule 5-2 (Politeness Moon) while doing so.
   Players may state that their chess piece has any game effect they
   like, but chess pieces, as defined by this Rule, have no game effect
   whatsoever.

Thank goodness for that last sentence.  We wouldn't want all of Acka to
become UNINTERWOVEN due to a QUADRIFURCATED ANATOMICOPATHOLOGICAL
FAGOPYRISMUS of the SUPERESTABLISHMENT of the rules, such as Vulcan.

I thank Acka for its RECEPTIVENESS in this matter.

P.S.  As for the NYMPHOLEPSY and MULTIMETALLISM of players such as Dragon
Mage and /dev/joe in their 'search' for that most GONOCOCCIC of K 2's
treasures, the Perpetual Trophy:  Your DEWLIGHT is paltry, your DECAMPMENT
barely worthy of mention, and your STRENGTHFULNESS severely lacking.  I
wish you nothing but ALLORHYTHMIA in your searches.

Again, thank you.

-- Emperor Ai! Pedrito!
DeeJay * Wrangler * Supreme Inquisitor

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From: Gabe Drummond-Cole <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: My Nose
Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 18:10:54 -0400 (EDT)

I describe my nose as follows:

My nose is a bastion of STRENGTHFULNESS
All others are filled with DEFENSELESSNESS.
It's shaped like a star QUADRIFURCATED
and also is MULTIPERFORATED.

My chess piece's hue
an UNINTERWOVEN red
with hints of DEWLIGHT.

My nose has a move, it is full of NYMPHOLEPSY
It moves forward 8 squares for FISTICUFFERY.

but due in part to
its SUPERESTABLISHMENT
it moves only eight.

I'm going to talk first about FAGOPYRISMUS
Now that you're all ears (veritably filled with RECEPTIVENESS)

GONOCOCCIC nose
acts like an ACTUARY
in its DECAMPMENT

ANATOMICO-
PATHOLOGICAL
ALLORHYTHMIA

and MULTIMETAL-
LISM fill the rules with fear
when my nose is near

because when it moves on the playing field
on of the rules is randomly repealed.

-- Emperor Ai! Pedrito!
DeeJay * Wrangler * Supreme Inquisitor

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From: Eric Wald <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: a song, please
Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 18:58:03 -0400 (EDT)

My nose is an Eagle.  It is bright gold, with blue eyes.
It is shaped as an eagle with outstretched wings,
save when it is on the ground level of the Party Board;
there it is perched upright with a piercing gaze 
directed at the player looking at it,
or the nearest chess piece while no player dares look.

While an Eagle is on the Party Board,
it has an infinite number of levels above the ground level.
Pieces may be placed only on the ground level;
however, while an Eagle is on a level other than the ground level,
a piece on any other level may move to the square on the Eagle's level
corresponding to that on which it is before the move, 
if that square and all squares through which it moves are empty.

The Eagle may move directly to any square three squares along one axis, 
two squares along another, and one square along the third,
provided this square is neither below the ground level
nor off the edge of the board.  It may capture using this move,
or a piece four levels directly underneath it
provided the three intervening squares are empty.

from -> [email-masked]

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From: "Gavin M. Doig" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: AEHIILRS
Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 22:40:29 -0400 (EDT)

My nose is a pink nose, and is a party chess piece of type AEHIILRS.
It may move one square either up, right, or
diagonally-down-and-to-the-left. It has the game effect of allowing me
to alter the rules and gamestate in any way I like, as a public
action.

I use my nose's game effects to give me 10000 ackadollars. Since my
chess piece is defined by me, and not by that rule, this works. No,
really.

BLMP.

------------------------------

From: Gabe Drummond-Cole <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Supreme Inquisition (Emperor Ai! Pedrito! now
Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 23:40:02 -0400 (EDT)

Here are the MULTIPERFORATED results of the QUADRIFURCATED,
ANATOMICOPATHOLOGICAL FISTICUFFERY (or hearing) on the SUPERESTABLISHMENT
of Slakko as harfmeister.  As the GONOCOCCIC ACTUARY in charge of the
NYMPHOLEPSY that is this hearing, I hereby announce the results: Acka met
my feelings with RECEPTIVENESS, Slakko is now UNINTERWOVEN as harfmeister,
and in the wake of this DECAMPMENT, is left with naught but
DEFENSELESSNESS, and is moved to eir home.  I gain in STRENGTHFULNESS,
become harfmeister, and revel in newfound MULTIMETALLISM, FAGOPYRISMUS, and
ALLORHYTHMIA in the DEWLIGHT.  The votes were as follows:

No!  He's going to share the Harf!
 Dragon Mage ("mainly because you are being annoying about this.")

Yes! He is Hogging the Harf!
 /dev/joe
 BLMP
 K 2
 Studge

'E's 'oggin' the 'arf!
 Hubert

Burn the Monk:
 King Felix

-- Emperor Ai! Pedrito!
DeeJay * Wrangler * Supreme Inquisitor

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End of ackanomic Digest V4 #182
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