Subject: ackanomic digest V3 #81
From: [email-masked] (ackanomic digest)
To: [email-masked]

ackanomic digest        Thursday, April 2 1998        Volume 03 : Number 081

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 00:04:52 -0500 (EST)
From: [email-masked] (Micah Smukler)
Subject: Acka: Gumball

Today is Thursday, April 2, the first Thursday in April, and I am
chewing the Gumball.  It tastes of tweakle.

AtP

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 00:46:10 -0500 (EST)
From: **Alexandre Muniz <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: two-who?

I am changing my status to voting.
I am removing my name from the cfj ineligibility list.
I am leaving the game of YORL.
I am requesting to join the game of YORL.
I am taking off my sweater. (Ah, Spring!)
I am a-mending my sweater with a needle and yarn.

I am creating a trinket worth 10 A$ called the Owner's Manual to the
Curious Clock of Uesticlox, with the description:
"It is a three inch by five inch pamphlet with a bold sans-serif letters
in an unfamiliar alphabet on the cover. The pages inside are yellowing,
and quite disheveled, as if they had been caught in a very strong wind.

They say that it may be of use in retrieving the curious clock if it is
lost."

I am initiating a public auction for the Owner's Manual to the Curious
Clock of Uesticlox. The minimum bid is -1 A$

**two-star
Chief Cheese

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 00:50:06 -0500 (EST)
From: [email-masked] (Micah Smukler)
Subject: Re: Acka: two-who?

>I am changing my status to voting.
>I am removing my name from the cfj ineligibility list.
>I am leaving the game of YORL.
>I am requesting to join the game of YORL.
>I am taking off my sweater. (Ah, Spring!)
>I am a-mending my sweater with a needle and yarn.
>
>I am creating a trinket worth 10 A$ called the Owner's Manual to the
>Curious Clock of Uesticlox, with the description:
>"It is a three inch by five inch pamphlet with a bold sans-serif letters
>in an unfamiliar alphabet on the cover. The pages inside are yellowing,
>and quite disheveled, as if they had been caught in a very strong wind.
>
>They say that it may be of use in retrieving the curious clock if it is
>lost."
>
>I am initiating a public auction for the Owner's Manual to the Curious
>Clock of Uesticlox. The minimum bid is -1 A$
>
>**two-star
>Chief Cheese

If it is indeed legal for me to do so, I bid A$-1.  Otherwise, I bid
A$1.

AtP

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 00:56:09 -0500 (EST)
From: [email-masked] (Aaron V. Humphrey)
Subject: Re: Acka: two-who?

> I am changing my status to voting.
> I am removing my name from the cfj ineligibility list.

Yay!

> I am leaving the game of YORL.
> I am requesting to join the game of YORL.

Does this mean that you pay the ante again?

> I am taking off my sweater. (Ah, Spring!)
> I am a-mending my sweater with a needle and yarn.

As long as you don't start a-mending your pants...

> I am creating a trinket worth 10 A$ called the Owner's Manual to the
> Curious Clock of Uesticlox, with the description:
> "It is a three inch by five inch pamphlet with a bold sans-serif letters
> in an unfamiliar alphabet on the cover. The pages inside are yellowing,
> and quite disheveled, as if they had been caught in a very strong wind.
> 
> They say that it may be of use in retrieving the curious clock if it is
> lost."

> I am initiating a public auction for the Owner's Manual to the Curious
> Clock of Uesticlox. The minimum bid is -1 A$

Interestingly, this works, although all bids must still be positive.
I'll start at A$13.

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/alfvaen/ )
Current Album--Steve Winwood
Current Book--Jo Clayton:Quester's Endgame
A Starchild gets whipped with a Van Allen belt.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 01:10:38 -0500 (EST)
From: [email-masked] (Aaron V. Humphrey)
Subject: Acka: Big White Gazette

The Big White Gazette
"Wasting Bandwidth More Efficiently Than Any Other Ackanomian Newspaper"

In this issue:
More Fantasy Viruses!
A Proposed Ackanomic FAQ!

Ackanomic FAQ

[This is the first version of the FAQ.  Anyone who wishes to submit
questions and/or answers is free to do so.  I'll probably put it up
on its own web page sometime. --Alfvaen ]

This FAQ shall perhaps not live up to its name, since the questions it
purports to answer may not be the most frequently asked.  However, they are
questions whose answers are not readily available upon searching the
Rules, or any other page, and may only yield their answers to groveling
over the Proposal archive, or even the email digests.  But since there
are people who were _there_ at the time, this FAQ is being assembled so
those new to the game(or even those just new enough to have missed a
few things)can finally learn what all those puzzling references really
are.

(In fairness, I should note that I myself joined the game a year and
several months after its inception, so there may be things I don't know
either.  In which case I will ask an Elder...)

Questions(in arbitrary order for the nonce):

Q1: Why are there all those floating and dangling buildings on the Map
of Ackanomia?
Q2: What the heck is banna?
Q3: What are the keys to the vault?
Q4: How about the Widget of Yendor?
Q5: How is it that "Vulcan once ruled Ackanomic"?
Q6: What is harf?
Q7: So what shape _is_ the world, exactly?
Q8: What do people mean when they use "e", "em", and "eir"?
Q9: What are all those funny brackets in proposals?
Q10: What is "frinking"?
Q11: What's all this "Hubert" stuff?
Q12: What are those "Runestone of Jukkasjarvi Fragment" thingies?
Q13: How did some Rules end up getting "Abducted by Sinister Aliens"?

Q1: Why are there all those floating and dangling buildings on the Map
of Ackanomia?

A1: Sit down while I tell you a tale.  It all started (probably) when
snowgod's Proposal 1238 created the Rule "We Don't Need Gravity",
currently Rule 1309, which decreed that everything was hanging to
the surface of Ackanomic by suckers, and if it lost its suction an
object would be held only by its emergency tether.

Then, with Proposal 1349 (also authored by snowgod) came the rains.
According to the Rule it created, "Rama-lama-ding-dong", all the
Priests of Ackanomic's Churches had to pray for deliverance at the
beginning of every month, or else the rains would come, and flood
waters would wash out suction cups and leave buildings dangling.

Then Proposal 1515, authored by Guy Fawkes, amended Malenkai's Tornado
Rule (current Rule 1313) so that any dangling building could have its
tether snapped during a Tornado.  Suddenly it became a bit more imperative
to save one's house from dangling (it could be reattached by three
players with Wings acting in concert, or a Gravitational Monopole).
Calvin N Hobbes's house was the first to have its tether snapped and
start floating; e merely renamed it Voyager I and rebuilt on its
former site.

So things proceeded for some months, until Priests started growing lax.
In July, two priests failed to pray, so a few houses dangled; in August
and September, three priests(or more)failed to pray, so all buildings in
Acka dangled.  And at the beginning of September, all the buildings from
August hadn't even been reattached yet.  The September Tornado ripped
loose several other buildings from the surface of Ackanomic.  Finally,
in September, Niccolo Flychuck's Proposal 2298 repealed
Rama-lama-ding-dong, ending the floods.  But the effects still remain,
mainly because we're too lazy to fix them and most people don't care
if their houses are dangling or floating.

Q2: What the heck is banna?

A2: Some say that it originated in a mistyping of "banana" by rufus, when
describing the shape of the world.  (rufus emself admitted it, in fact.)
However, e later based a Church around it.  Rather than risk skirting
heresy, this FAQ will advise only that you ask the members of the Church
of banna.  (Alternatively, if you join the Church, then by its own
Dogma you will, by definition, know the nature of banna.)

Q3: What are the Keys to the Vault?

A3: Ah, another tale.  Malenkai buried the Onyx Lion in Treasure 102,
with the condition that it would be found by "the first player to have
a proposal accepted (and that Malenkai voted YES for) that defines
another way to win a Game or Cycle of Acka".  (At the time, all there
was was Paradox Wins, Points, and Palindromes.)  Habeous Corpus
submitted a mind-numbingly complicated Proposal (Proposal 1430)
entitled "The Crystal Chalice", which boiled down to said Chalice being
stored in a Vault, whose method of being found would be determined by
Proposal, and which required five Keys to open.

However, in practice, it was eventually decided to be unworkable.
For one thing, the Keys were hard to track--they tended to be hard
on their owners, destroying A$ or Gadgets or other things, and the
responsibility for keeping track of this was designated by the Rule to
fall on the holder of the Chartreuse Goose, who may or may not be any
good at doing so, so it often got neglected.  Furthermore, the condition
for finding the Vault had ended up with being the owner of the Golden
Frog, which was buried in Malenkai's Treasure 122(unarguably the hardest
treasure ever buried in Ackanomic, still unfound).

Finally, Malenkai's Proposal 2256 repealed the Vault rule, but as is the
way of such things in Ackanomic, the Keys stayed hanging around.

Q4: How about the Widget of Yendor?

A4: This was created by breadbox's Proposal 1726.  It was an item which,
when "tweaked", had no effect, but when "frobbed" froze the owner's score
(for up to seven days, and with a few other constraints).  It was
auctioned to snowgod(who frobbed it and then took advantage of it with
a few lame proposals, one of which, the Alien Abduction Act, actually
passed).  It was given to breadbox when snowgod(then known as Mr. Lunatic
Fringe)left the game.  But it was never frobbed again, and the rule was
eventually repealed by Alfvaen's Proposal 2407.

The "widget of Yendor" itself is a nethack reference; in that game, this is
the ultimate goal you must attain (from the Wizard of Yendor) before you
can win.  And "Yendor" spelled backwards is, of course, "Rodney".  For
more on "tweaking" and "frobbing", see the Hacker's Dictionary(also known
as The Jargon File).

Q5: How is it that "Vulcan once ruled Ackanomic"?

A5: For more on this, see "A History of The Rebellion" in Issue No. 4
of Alfvaen's "Big White Gazette".  The short version is:  In July and
August of 1997, the Vulcan party, consisting of /dev/joe, ThinMan,
and Malenkai(later joined by Vynd), managed to give themselves absolute
control over Ackanomic.  There were several attempts to unseat them,
but none ended up being successful.  Eventually, not wanting to disrupt
the game too much, they stepped down, but not without leaving Rule 1
in their wake--an attempt to leave a permanent mark on the Rules.

Over the months that followed, many attempts to get rid of Rule 1 were
made.  I'm still not 100% sure whether it worked, or even which attempt
was considered to work, but eventually Rule 1 was renumbered to Rule
1150, and so Rule 1's precedence over the entire ruleset was broken.

Q6: What is harf?

A6: What _is_ harf?  It's a difficult concept to convey, and I wouldn't
presume to be able to do so myself.  But I can describe the word and its
uses.

"Harf" was introduced by Robert Sevin in Ackanomic's very first Proposal,
though it took some time to actually get into the Rules.  Something which
has the harf nature is "harfy".  If you want to get some idea of what harf
is, then examine harfy Proposals in the archive.  In general, though, it's
what separates Ackanomic from other, "serious" nomics.

The verb form of "harf" is somewhat different.  It also made its
appearance quite early, in Robert Sevin's Proposal 327, which attempted
to introduce the "Helpful Harfer" as an assistant to the Speaker.
But Sevin's Proposal 411, which was accepted, introduced the office of
Web-Harfer.  Since then, "to harf" has come to mean "to attempt to track
the game state", which is no mean feat in a game as complex as this one.
"Harfers" are Officers appointed to do just that, and it is a good idea
never to forget that without them the game would grind to a halt.

For more on "harf", check out Robert Sevin's web pages on the subject.

Q7: So what shape _is_ the world, exactly?

A7: The whole question of the shape of the world came into being with
Bascule's Proposal 729, which created the "Ackanomic Middle Ages" Rule
(current rule 1307).  This decreed that the Earth was flat, and that it was
heresy to state otherwise.  Of course, many people did so, but the Earth
remained flat by decree of the Rules.

But Guy Fawkes's Proposal 1344 introduced a new wrinkle--the Round Earth
Restoration Society(RERS).  It stated that the Earth was _now_ flat,
but had been round before, and the hemispheres were left dangling by huge
emergency tethers.  And with a sufficient influx of funds into the RERS,
the Earth could become hemispherical, and then round.

So the rule sat for a long time, a few desultory donations being made.
Red Barn proposed the Flat Earth Preservation Society(FEPS)(with intention
to cut the emergency tethers for good, with a sufficient influx of funds)
as Proposal 1805, but it was rejected.  It was reproposed as Proposal
2001(to fail again), and then finally passed as Proposal 2290.

Then Vulcan, as one of their final actions, gave a bunch of money to
/dev/joe to donate to the RERS, to attach the upper hemisphere.  E
did so.  And then it was discovered that a typo(?) in Proposal 2290
(which was present in the earlier versions as well)said that the
FEPS would cut off the lower hemisphere upon the necessary funds being
paid to the _RERS_.

So, in consequence, the Earth is now hemispherical.  The upper hemisphere
was winched back into place by the RERS, and the lower hemisphere cut off
by the FEPS.  And so it shall stay until the Rules state otherwise.

Q8: What do people mean when they use "e", "em", and "eir"?

A8: It's that age-old question of third-person pronouns.  Well, perhaps
not age-old, but the fact is that it's no longer as clear-cut.  You all
know this.  The Rules are not particularly consistent in this matter,
so sometimes you'll find "he", "him", and "his"(which run into the
problem of assuming the masculine gender); sometimes you'll find "they",
"them", and "their"(which does actually have centuries of tradition as
an informal genderless singular pronoun, but which many purists object
to); and sometimes what are called the Spivak pronouns, or "e", "em",
and "eir".

There's no requirement in the Rules for anyone to use one rather than
another; it's entirely personal preference.  So make whatever choice
you will; just be aware that others prefer differently, and know what
they mean when they use their own choice of pronouns.

Q9: What are all those funny brackets in proposals?

A9: For that, see Rule 340, "Conventions".  This used to be separate 
Rules, but in the interests of compactness has been squeezed into one.
Basically, square brackets [like this] denote text which is strictly
comments, and has no legally binding force in the Rules.  The double
curly brackets, {{ }}, are a little trickier.  Basically, they're a
shorthand, because, when added to a Rule:

{{ Create a Cheez-Whiz in the possession of the player named IdiotBoy }}

is exactly the same as:

Create a Cheez-Whiz in the possession of the player named IdiotBoy, and
then delete this sentence from this rule.

Basically, it allows a clause to delete itself from the Rule after having
exercised itself once.  Useful for setup purposes, or one-time only effects.
Strictly speaking, in a Proposal you can just say "Create a Cheez-Whiz in
the possession of the player named IdiotBoy.", and according to Rule 104,
will be implemented as a "one-time effect".  (And actually, when you come
right down to it, a one-time effect in a Proposal will take its precedence
from Rule 104, but self-deleting text will take its precedence from the
Rule it is temporarily part of.)  But it often comes down to personal
preference.

Often the double-curly and square brackets are used in combination {{[ like
this ]}}, so what you get is self-deleting comments.  These will make no
change in the Rule whatsoever, and so are used strictly for putting comments
into the _Proposal_.  (And whatever you do, make sure you use them properly,
{{[ and then ]}}.  {{[...}}] wouldn't work properly, and neither would
{[[...]]}.)

Q10: What is "frinking"?

A10: Proposal 1309, "Frinking Straws", defines the term as
"face-down-drinking", a practice necessary because of Ackanomic being
on the underside of the Earth.  (Proposal 1309 didn't pass, though.)

The true origin, in the tradition of filksinging, started out as a typo.
For reasons which I don't want to get into here(look in breadbox's History
for the full story), CFCJ 112 claimed that drinking Coke was a Crime.
snowgod posted, on August 27, 1996, "Such simple manipulation of these
entities can lead to no harm, unless of course we are talking about
frinking Coke."

So, in general, frinking is something one does to liquids, such as
Right-Handed Grapefruit Juice.  _Drinking_ it is not generally done.
And that's really all you need to know.

Q11: What's all this "Hubert" stuff?

A11: It all started with a Treasure buried by snowgod, whose map required
players to say "Hubert" in a public message on three consecutive days.
On the third day, several players tried to post "Hubert" as soon after
midnight as they could.  Since then, a "Hubert" situation has been one
where the first player to attempt something would succeed, and thus it
often came down to checking the mail headers to see when it actually
occurred.  And, in general, anything that comes down to a Hubert is
considered to be unfair to those who didn't have the opportunity to Hubert
it in the first place.  (One of the guiding principles of Ackanomic is
that you shouldn't _have_ to read your email more than once every three
days to play it.)

Q12: What are those "Runestone of Jukkasjarvi Fragment" thingies?

A12: That's from one of the most complex treasures ever devised in the
game of Ackanomic(or so it would seem, anyway), Treasure 122, created
and buried by Malenkai.  Its solution depends on a number of Runestone 
of Jukkasjarvi Fragments(RoJ Fragments, for short).  Initially, the
fragments were distributed randomly, and the idea was for players to
trade them back and forth, because each fragment has a different text,
and any of them could be a clue to finding the Treasure.

Well, over a year has passed since then, and despite at least two
players having access to the texts of the Runestones, the Treasure
remains unfound.  And so the Fragments still hang around.

Q13: How did some Rules end up getting "Abducted by Sinister Aliens"?

A13: snowgod's Proposal 1743 created a Rule(later renumbered to 1131)
called "The Sinister Alien Abduction Act".  (If I recall correctly, it
was submitted when e had the Widget of Yendor frobbed, so e was all
prepared for it to fail, but it passed...)

The essence of the Rule was that every week three numbers, within the
range of existing Rule numbers, were chosen at random, and if one of
them was the number of an existing Rule, then it was abducted from
the ruleset for a week(being totally without effect for that time),
and then returned with a precedence clause at the end(or removed
from the end if it had already been there).

It was one of the main battlegrounds between the forces of harf and the
forces of order.  (The two aren't always opposed, but in this case they
were.)  Some of the abductions were mere nuisances, but the abduction of
Rule 106 caused a Quorum Crisis because nobody could vote on Proposals
for a week.

Also, when Majiks were first introduced, they were assigned numbers by
their creators, and if these numbers corresponded to Rule numbers, then
if no other Rules were abducted for three weeks the Majik numbers would
be chosen instead.  (One of the skirmishes in the fight against Vulcan
took place on that front...)

The Aliens were finally repealed by Malenkai's Proposal 2331.

Fantasy Viruses

And now, the continuation of Fantasy Viruses!  Okay, still not caught
up, and at this rate it won't happen until the game ends(which should
be about July or so).

Here's what happened after the seventh round: The Gingham Wearer, who had
just gotten a Viruspoint in that round, got another one in the eighth.
And, in fact, for seven more rounds thereafter, making this a pretty dull
game as far as points go.  In terms of survival: rufus and /dev/joe
disappeared in Round 12, Balsamic Dragon in Round 14, Slakko in Round 19,
two-star in Round 23, and breadbox in Round 27.  ThinMan was left with a
small block, and The Gingham Wearer dominated over else...if until about
Round 40, when they started to get about equal.  They sparred back and
forth for quite a while, ThinMan's block getting destroyed by The Gingham
Wearer's pattern in Round 91.  By Round 100 else...if had been reduced to
only a beehive in one corner and a few stray cells on the edge of The
Gingham Wearer's pattern...but they held on, and soon e was viable again.
However, by Round 204 else...if's pattern had settled down to a beehive, a
block, and a couple of blinkers, while The Gingham Wearer's was still
frothing, a couple of gliders making their way off in different directions.
Finally, by Round 253 The Gingham Wearer's pattern had settled down as
well, to two gliders, four blocks, and a "small ship".

After the eighth round, The Gingham Wearer also continued to score
Viruspoints until Round 10, when e faltered.  breadbox took that round
instead, and in fact the next nine in a row, winning the game by points.
In terms of survival, rufus was gone already by Round 9, Slakko by Round
12, Balsamic Dragon by Round 13, and ThinMan by Round 19.  /dev/joe and
else...if managed to maintain small niches among the other remaining
players' more successful patterns, until else...if disappeared in Round
28 and /dev/joe in Round 30.  By Round 40 The Gingham Wearer had a single
block, and breadbox and two-star tussled it out in the other corner.
Round 59 reduced two-star to a single blinker, but by Round 76 breadbox
had disappeared altogether, leaving only two-star's blinker and The
Gingham Wearer's block.

After the ninth round, it was once again an unchallenged run for The
Gingham Wearer until Round 14, when two-star took a point.  breadbox took
the lead in this game as well after that, two-star stealing another
point in Round 22, before breadbox finally won in Round 25.  In terms
of survival, ThinMan was gone by Round 19, else...if by Round 27, and
by Round 33 breadbox and The Gingham Wearer had been reduced to single
blocks, leaving Slakko and two-star's patterns still active.  By Round
47 two-star had settled down to two blinkers, and by Round 54 Slakko's
pattern consisted of a block and two blinkers.

After the tenth round, it yet again started with two more Viruspoints for
The Gingham Wearer(who had already had five by this point), but two-star
took points in Rounds 13 and 14, tying with /dev/joe in Rounds 15 and
16, but back on top again in Round 17.  else...if tied em in Round 18,
and then breadbox took a point in Round 19.  But two-star was back on
top in Round 20, and continued straight through to Round 26, when e had
ten points.  By this point, ThinMan had disappeared in Round 18, The
Gingham Wearer in Round 19, and Slakko in Round 24.  /dev/joe vanished in
Round 27 and else...if in Round 30, leaving only breadbox and two-star
with active patterns.  breadbox's virus was marginalized by Round 72,
and had been reduced to a single block by Round 87.  two-star's pattern
seemed to be settling down by Round 124, but then an R Pentomino appeared,
whose evolution proceeded apace.  In fact, it seemed that its normal
1300-odd generation evolution would proceed unaffected by the remaining
patterns(breadbox's block, and a block and a loaf of two-star's), and
this researcher lacked the stamina, and the screen size(with gliders
stretching it steadily in three directions), to follow this pattern to
its conclusion.

In Other News:

I don't know if I mentioned it, but the company I'm working for now is
named Kakari Systems.  Some few people may wonder if it was named by Go
players, and in fact it was.  The president(as such, since it's only got
five people)was the first 9-dan Go player in Canada.  I myself am still
on a three-stone handicap on a 9x9 board...:-)

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/alfvaen/ )
Current Album--Simple Minds:Real To Real Cacophony
Current Book--Jo Clayton:Quester's Endgame
Scandal is mud.  Give it time to dry and it turns to dust.  Then deal with it.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 01:12:13 -0500 (EST)
From: "Joseph W. DeVincentis" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: two-who?

Good to see two-star back... maybe I'll get some comment on my work on the
Lines of Action treasure. [For the interested, I have a partial minimality
proof, which only covers a convenient subset of cases for which I have
so far found the best solutions... and I have a long, long way to go to
extend this to cover the general case, and I doubt I will do so unless
I get some major insight.]

> I am leaving the game of YORL.
> I am requesting to join the game of YORL.

I note that this seems to be permitted by the rules, and it gets two-star
one less card than he had previously.  To discourage a repeat of this,
I am dealing him 7 of the same 8 cards he had previously (to be sent
to two-star by private mail).  I also note that he has to pay the ante
again; only players who were removed from the game for falling under the
table get to rejoin without ante.

> I am initiating a public auction for the Owner's Manual to the Curious
> Clock of Uesticlox. The minimum bid is -1 A$

I bid A$18.

/dev/joe

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 01:46:32 -0500 (EST)
From: John Frederic Mc Coy <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Another game of Fictionary

So far, these are the players that have stated an interest in playing a
game of Fictionary:

Vynd
/dev/joe
TGW
Slakko
rufus
Hubert
else...if
Atilla the Pun

I am not yet announcing the start of a game, but when I do these will be
the players, unless I hear otherwise.  Also, were there any problems with
the Fcitionary rules that shouyld be corrected before we move on to
another game, do you think?  I'm not saying that there are, but if someone
was holding off on patching some bug or another because we were going to
play again, I for one would be happy to wait for a fix to go through.

                                     - Vynd

[email-masked]

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 01:52:37 -0500 (EST)
From: "Joseph W. DeVincentis" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Big White Gazette

> Q2: What the heck is banna?
> 
> A2: Some say that it originated in a mistyping of "banana" by rufus, when
> describing the shape of the world.  (rufus emself admitted it, in fact.)
> However, e later based a Church around it.  Rather than risk skirting
> heresy, this FAQ will advise only that you ask the members of the Church
> of banna.  (Alternatively, if you join the Church, then by its own
> Dogma you will, by definition, know the nature of banna.)

I meant to report this earlier but forgot.  While I was home at spring break,
I noticed a Texas Lottery scratch-off ticket vending machine with a big
color LED display across the top which was running a series of messages
advertising some of the games, including one called "Go Bananas!"  The
messages read "!!! GO BANNAS !!!" and "!!! BUY BANNAS !!!".  No joke.

> Q6: What is harf?
> For more on "harf", check out Robert Sevin's web pages on the subject.

I was just thinking the other day, while on the subject of the origin of
"frink", that perhaps "harf" started as "harfing", a typo for the last
name of Robert Sevin (& his brother, who is supposed to have invented the
word), "Harding" (again, the d->f slip on the keyboard).  Perhaps Robert
Sevin can enlighten us.

/dev/joe

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 01:55:53 -0500 (EST)
From: Duncan Richer <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Where did 2795 go?

Proposal 2795, which was one of mine, never had its voting results
reported.  But I never retracted it.  What's going on?

- -- 
Duncan C. "" Richer aka
Slakko (Lost) Warner - http://dcr24.quns.cam.ac.uk/ - Queens' College
Cambridge, 1st Yr PhD(PMa) - .Nomic Elector, Frgn Minister, HP(Morpork)
Acka - President "Gumball" Web-Harfer RuneMaker ChessUmpire Map-Harfer

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 01:58:40 -0500 (EST)
From: Duncan Richer <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Big White Gazette

On Thu, 2 Apr 1998, Aaron V. Humphrey wrote:

> Questions(in arbitrary order for the nonce):
> 
> Q1: Why are there all those floating and dangling buildings on the Map
> of Ackanomia?

... 

> So things proceeded for some months, until Priests started growing lax.
> In July, two priests failed to pray, so a few houses dangled; in August
> and September, three priests(or more)failed to pray, so all buildings in
> Acka dangled.  And at the beginning of September, all the buildings from
> August hadn't even been reattached yet.  The September Tornado ripped
> loose several other buildings from the surface of Ackanomic.  Finally,
> in September, Niccolo Flychuck's Proposal 2298 repealed
> Rama-lama-ding-dong, ending the floods.  But the effects still remain,
> mainly because we're too lazy to fix them and most people don't care
> if their houses are dangling or floating.

I would ask the editor of the BWG to have this last above-copied statement
retracted.  Proposal 2794's results show that we are not too lazy to fix
this - people went to the trouble of specifically voting to _keep_ this
absurd situation.

Yours,
Slakko
- -- 
Duncan C. "" Richer aka
Slakko (Lost) Warner - http://dcr24.quns.cam.ac.uk/ - Queens' College
Cambridge, 1st Yr PhD(PMa) - .Nomic Elector, Frgn Minister, HP(Morpork)
Acka - President "Gumball" Web-Harfer RuneMaker ChessUmpire Map-Harfer

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 03:31:18 -0500 (EST)
From: Duncan Richer <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Beldin's Pants

On Wed, 1 Apr 1998, Aaron V. Humphrey wrote:

> 
> In this message I describe how Beldin's Pants may be amended, according
> to Rule 940.
> 
> Beldin's Pants may be amended by Beldin's Tailor as described by Rule 939,
> by the reader of the page "The Secret" from the Ackanomicon as described
> by Rule 910, by the Praetor, and by any player who owns a Cheez-Whiz and
> three cheeses.

This list of how Beldin's Pants may be amended, as given by you under the
authority of Rule 940, contradicts Rule 104, which specifies that
proposals may amend rules (including Rule 940 implicitly, as no rules were
excluded from this property).  Therefore your list has no legal standing.

Just my A$2,

Yours,
Slakko
- -- 
Duncan C. "" Richer aka
Slakko (Lost) Warner - http://dcr24.quns.cam.ac.uk/ - Queens' College
Cambridge, 1st Yr PhD(PMa) - .Nomic Elector, Frgn Minister, HP(Morpork)
Acka - President "Gumball" Web-Harfer RuneMaker ChessUmpire Map-Harfer

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 05:33:24 -0500 (EST)
From: Uri Bruck <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Proposal 2811

I object to this.
My name has been mentioned is a few real-world publication, but so far
they were all published in Hebrew.

Regardless of the fact that I've got my name of exhibition catalogues in
English, and I may have an English language publication soon, I think this
rule is culturally (or linguistically) discriminating.

Niccolo Flychuck

 On Wed, 1 Apr 1998, Brian Raiter wrote:

> Proposal 2811
> Striking Out Into The World
> Calvin N Hobbes (Thierry Joffrain)
> 
> {{ The person in charge of updating the rule set must chose this rule's
> number, such that it is an unused integer greater than 42 and less than
> 4242 }}
> 
> All player mentioned by their real or Ackanomic name in a publication in
> the real world which also contains the word Ackanomic will gain 20
> points for each such publication.
> 
> Players should submit such occurences to the Speaker (or if the Speaker
> themselves, to the president) for acknowledgement and also to the public
> forum.
> 
> It is good form for the Historian to take note of this.
> 
> ------------------------------
> 

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 05:46:50 -0500 (EST)
From: Uri Bruck <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Proposal 2815

I object to the restriction on the usage of gender pronouns. While I feel
quite comfortable with spivak  genderless pronouns, other players may not
be. Then again, this could cut down on BWG...

On Wed, 1 Apr 1998, Brian Raiter wrote:

> Proposal 2815
> Everyone needs a gender identity
> JT (JT Traub)
> 
> Each player has a property 'gender' which can take any of 3 values and
> begins with the value 'Androgynous' when a new player is created.
> {{ All existing players gain the property 'Gender:Androgynous' }}
>  Each player may change eir gender to any other valid value of the gender
> property as a public action.
>  The valid values for the gender property are 'Male', 'Female', and
> 'Androgynous'.
>  No player may have more than one gender at any given time.
>  It is considered to be the Crime of Sexual Discrimination for any player
> to refer to any other specific player by an inappropriate pronoun for their
> current publically knowable gender in a public message.
>  Androgynous pronouns (e, em, eir) are always correct, regardless of
> gender.
> {{[ Note that since rules do not refer to a specific player, they are not
> a problem under this proposal, and should continue to be taken as they are
> now to apply to any player, regardless of chosen gender]}}
> 
> ------------------------------
> 

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 07:01:57 -0500 (EST)
From: Duncan Richer <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Floating

On Wed, 1 Apr 1998, Guy Fawkes wrote:

> A tall, tall tower, floating in the air.  If I push it the right way,
> maybe it'll go to Kansas :)

I want to see the Brass Monkey try to climb it after a Chrome Streak :-)

Yours,
Slakko
- -- 
Duncan C. "" Richer aka
Slakko (Lost) Warner - http://dcr24.quns.cam.ac.uk/ - Queens' College
Cambridge, 1st Yr PhD(PMa) - .Nomic Elector, Frgn Minister, HP(Morpork)
Acka - President "Gumball" Web-Harfer RuneMaker ChessUmpire Map-Harfer

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 09:42:09 -0500 (EST)
From: K2 <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Proposal 2820

> > Proposal 2820
> > Hardware Reset
> > breadbox (Brian Raiter)
> > This is a Modest Proposal.
> > Replace each occurrence of the three-word phrase "said the Tensor" in
> > Rule 207.1 ("That's just silly") with the three-word phrase "cows eat
> > grass".
> > {{[Note that I won't get the ten points for this proposal, thanks to
> > the hubert paradox clause. But it might make things interesting on
> > April 8th....]}}
>

I didn't mean to send that yet :/

> This won't have any real effect....
>
> in the (unlikely) case were all putative foolish proposals pass:

> 17:45    2814 - is foolish and the author has 7 days to amend the silly
> phrase..
> 17:48    2816 - the silly phrase is still 'said the Tensor' since Attila
> the Pun hasn't altered it prior to the voting results being released so
> this is still foolish
> 17:53    2818 - same as above
> 17:55    2819 - same as above
> 17:56    2820 - changes the silly phrase to cows eat grass.

the (potential) fools still have a week to change the silly phrase, in any
order - imagine the hubert potential :)

In other news:
I destroy the town hall steps and naked for cash, apologizing to the art
and antiquities communities as I do so.
I gift evil to Hoover 2300 and don the Chartreuse Cape.

K 2

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 09:49:25 -0500 (EST)
From: K2 <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: A C K issue 2

> Exquisite Dead Guy Still Buried
> compiled from Treasure-Harfer and Registrar reports
> According to reports by the Treasure-Harfer, the following people are
> currently disqualified from finding this treasure:
> Vynd, H[censored]bert, Alfvaen, Niccolo Flychuck, The Gingham Wearer,
> Sunflare, Slakko, Goldenmean, rufus, Guy Fawkes, Attila the Pun,
> two-star, K 2
> This report is as of the end of the day on March 31, so any new
> players who have joined hubert since then are probably still eligible, and
> any additional players who have invalidated themselves have not
> been identified yet.
> However, A.C.K. notes that Hoover 2300 has invalidated emself very
> recently, in the following (partially censored) message:
>

>  > -H*b*rt
>  >
>  > The truth is out there? Anyone know the URL?
>  easy one.
>  http://www.the-truth.com/text.html
>  hoover 2300

I've noted this one :)

> Also, breadbox was seen to utter the accursed word on March 4 while doling
> out Puppet Heads, and if breadbox's tabulator reports don't count,surely
> some of the quoted proposals at the end of those reports do count.

It's not my map, but, I've been harfing it as any information distributed as
part of the activities involved in an office doesn't count. Puts it on a level
playing field that way.

Course Alfvaen is the map writer....

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 09:49:37 -0500 (EST)
From: K2 <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: A C K issue 2

> Exquisite Dead Guy Still Buried
> compiled from Treasure-Harfer and Registrar reports
> According to reports by the Treasure-Harfer, the following people are
> currently disqualified from finding this treasure:
> Vynd, H[censored]bert, Alfvaen, Niccolo Flychuck, The Gingham Wearer,
> Sunflare, Slakko, Goldenmean, rufus, Guy Fawkes, Attila the Pun,
> two-star, K 2
> This report is as of the end of the day on March 31, so any new
> players who have joined hubert since then are probably still eligible, and
> any additional players who have invalidated themselves have not
> been identified yet.
> However, A.C.K. notes that Hoover 2300 has invalidated emself very
> recently, in the following (partially censored) message:
>

>  > -H*b*rt
>  >
>  > The truth is out there? Anyone know the URL?
>  easy one.
>  http://www.the-truth.com/text.html
>  hoover 2300

I've noted this one :)

> Also, breadbox was seen to utter the accursed word on March 4 while doling
> out Puppet Heads, and if breadbox's tabulator reports don't count,surely
> some of the quoted proposals at the end of those reports do count.

It's not my map, but, I've been harfing it as any information distributed as
part of the activities involved in an office doesn't count. Puts it on a level
playing field that way.

Course Alfvaen is the map writer....

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 02 Apr 1998 09:49:41 -0500 (EST)
From: K2 <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Potato

A suggestion to whoever gets the potato next :
Change Garment to Rule.

:)

K 2

Brian Raiter wrote:

> The context, for one. The preceding sentence clearly states: "Beldin's
> Pants are a Garment, initially Somewhere Else." The ruleset is full of
> rules that have the same title as the entity they describe. When you
> state that you are chewing the gumball, nobody thinks you are chewing
> Rule 903. I grant that it hubert makes more sense to talk about amending
> a
> rule than amending a Garment (or chewing a rule, for that matter), but
> it's not really much of a stretch. And it's certainly less of a
> stretch than interpreting it as saying that Rule 940 is a Garment.
> There's no strong reason to believe that the first sentence refers to
> one entity and the second sentence to a second. Especially
> considering:
>
> The history, for another. The rule's sentence has been interpreted as
> referring to the Garment in both sentences, and has been harfed as
> such in the past. I don't think an inconsistency this minor is enough
> to topple that.
>
> b

------------------------------

End of ackanomic digest V3 #81
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