Subject: ackanomic digest V3 #57
From: [email-masked] (ackanomic digest)
To: [email-masked]

ackanomic digest       Thursday, March 12 1998       Volume 03 : Number 057

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 03:32:58 -0500 (EST)
From: Uri Bruck <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: acka: Caped Crusader nomination

On Tue, 10 Mar 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:

> > I am now accepting nominations for the Office of Caped Crusader, since
> > TGW was removed from office.  Reply to nominate yourself.
> 
> Just to point out that it was else...if who was removed from office. I was
> Boy Wonder (and hence would be a great replacement as Caped Crusader, already
> knowing the ropes :-)).
> 
> TGW.

I think we really want someone who knows the utility belts..

Niccolo Flychuck

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 04:44:35 -0500 (EST)
From: [email-masked]
Subject: Re: Acka: Memo To Myself

Tom Walmsley wrote:
> 
> > Memo to myself: Do the dumb things I gotta do. Touch the Puppet Head.
> >
> > breadbox
> > feeling DUMB DUMB DUMB
> >
> 
> Memo to myself: Do the dumb things I gotta do. Touch the Puppet Head.
> 
> TGW
> feeling equally dumb.

What kinf od FREAK would touch a puppet head??
What kinf od FREAK would make one for a vacuum cleaner???
_________________________________________________________________________
They asked why I was here? and I told them, "to get my wings"
so they handed me the keys, and I flew away.
_________________________________________________________________________
Hoover 2300

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 04:54:30 -0500 (EST)
From: Duncan Richer <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Memo To Myself

On Thu, 12 Mar 1998 [email-masked] wrote:

> What kinf od FREAK would touch a puppet head??
> What kinf od FREAK would make one for a vacuum cleaner???

The "kinf od freak" that made the puppet head for the vacuum cleaner
designed it to look exactly like a filter bag, except for the cute little
face on it.

Shame you didn't remove it - now you're non-voting.
You can go back to voting if you want, by emailing the group announcing
it.

- -- 
Duncan C. "" Richer aka
Slakko (Lost) Warner - http://dcr24.quns.cam.ac.uk/ - Queens' College
Cambridge, 1st Yr PhD(PMa) - .Nomic Elector, Frgn Minister, HP(Morpork)
Acka - President "Gumball" Web-Harfer RuneMaker ChessUmpire Map-Harfer

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 05:42:20 -0500 (EST)
From: [email-masked]
Subject: Re: Acka: Memo To Myself

Duncan Richer wrote:
> 
> On Thu, 12 Mar 1998 [email-masked] wrote:
> 
> > What kinf od FREAK would touch a puppet head??
> > What kinf od FREAK would make one for a vacuum cleaner???
> 
> The "kinf od freak" that made the puppet head for the vacuum cleaner
> designed it to look exactly like a filter bag, except for the cute little
> face on it.
> 
> Shame you didn't remove it - now you're non-voting.
> You can go back to voting if you want, by emailing the group announcing
> it.
> ________________________________________________________________________________________

I a vacuum cleaner can not run on the brain food that feeds your
intelect.
You can not interact with one unless you are one.
I have a switch that goes on and off I sit here and my extenstion cord
wavers in the wind wavering.
I do not take orders from /.\ that is not my job, my job is to clean
spilt messes.
That's it.

My master left me after I had a place to SIT.

And now I sit with an imaginary umbiguas puppet head that looks like a
filter bag with a smily face on it.

What comes next? The wickt witch of the east? or was that nouth?

If it has not been for hagbards computer I could not translate my
thoughts.
________________________________________________________________________________________
I tried to join the left wing party but I had no wings.

Hoover 2300

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 06:10:59 -0500 (EST)
From: K2 <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: acka : MetaMorph together

I beg for admittance into MetaMorph...
Failing that I plead :)

K 2

Uri Bruck wrote:

> As Alfvaen noted elswhere - the MetaMorph is actively seeking more
> members. The MetaMorph Partyu was the only Party who attempted o make
> another nomic a member - it's a Party shich supports change and pluralism.
>
> Niccolo Flychuck

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 07:55:21 -0500 (EST)
From: "A.K.A. TheWiz" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Non-Voting

> The following players just became Non-Voting a couple of hours ago:
> 
> Crackfoo
> Enigma
> Hoover 2300
> Red Barn
> two-star

  I am becoming a voting player.

___Dan_Knapp____The_Mauve_Baron______________________Beep Blip Bonk_______
<[email-masked]><[email-masked]> http://users.bergen.org/~dankna
Change Nomic!   http://funnelweb.utcc.utk.edu/~chatham/nomicfaq.html
Age is wasted on the old.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 08:37:30 -0500 (EST)
From: Duncan Richer <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Baa Part 2

There may be some thread-split confusion over the ownership of the Little
Lamb (it all depends on when TGW took it).

So, if I am currently not in possession of the Little Lamb, I take
possession of the Little Lamb, paying the appropriate A$10 fee.

- -- 
Duncan C. "" Richer aka
Slakko (Lost) Warner - http://dcr24.quns.cam.ac.uk/ - Queens' College
Cambridge, 1st Yr PhD(PMa) - .Nomic Elector, Frgn Minister, HP(Morpork)
Acka - President "Gumball" Web-Harfer RuneMaker ChessUmpire Map-Harfer

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 08:59:23 -0500 (EST)
From: David Scheidt <[email-masked]>
Subject: acka: illuminatus election

Strange voting in this one.  

Voting for Hubert:  /dev/joe, Slakko
for Alfvaen: Alfvaen, Hubert, TGW, and Fortunato
for TGW: else..if, else...if's EBS, ThinMan, hibert
for K2: Vynd, Vynd's EBS, K 2 

So we have a tie, and since Rule 431 doesn't tell me differently, the
winner is determined at random from the tied canadiates, which I will do
as soon as figure out how to use the die server.

rufus
Count Tabula

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 09:44:55 -0500 (EST)
From: [email-masked] (Aaron V. Humphrey)
Subject: Re: acka: illuminatus election

> Voting for Hubert:  /dev/joe, Slakko
> for Alfvaen: Alfvaen, Hubert, TGW, and Fortunato
> for TGW: else..if, else...if's EBS, ThinMan, hibert
> for K2: Vynd, Vynd's EBS, K 2 

> So we have a tie, and since Rule 431 doesn't tell me differently, the
> winner is determined at random from the tied canadiates, which I will do
> as soon as figure out how to use the die server.

Shouldn't there be some rule that if the person you're tied with voted
for you, then you get the position automatically?  Unless you both
voted for each other, of course.  :-)

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/alfvaen/ )
Song In My Head--Toronto:Master of Disguise
Current Book--Robert Charles Wilson:The Harvest
I'll bare one precious scar that only you will know again

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 09:47:45 -0500 (EST)
From: [email-masked] (Aaron V. Humphrey)
Subject: Re: Acka: Non-Voting

>   I am becoming a voting player.

There's still, unfortunately, a three-day limit on how short a time one can
be non-voting.

For the record, the conversion to non-votingness happened at Mar 11 21:31
Ackatime, so after Mar 14 21:31 Ackatime people who wish to change back
can do so.

All in all, I think the Puppet Head thing works not bad, which is gratifying
to me as its author...

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/alfvaen/ )
Song In My Head--Toronto:Master of Disguise
Current Book--Robert Charles Wilson:The Harvest
How much hedge can a hedgehog hog if a hedgehog could hog hedge?

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 09:48:59 -0500 (EST)
From: [email-masked] (Aaron V. Humphrey)
Subject: Re: acka : MetaMorph togethers

> I beg for admittance into MetaMorph...
> Failing that I plead :)

Oh, what the heck.  I suggest that maybe we accept this poor wretch known
as K 2 into MetaMorph.

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/alfvaen/ )
Song In My Head--Toronto:Master of Disguise
Current Book--Robert Charles Wilson:The Harvest
Quick wafting zephyrs vex bold Jim.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 10:10:01 -0500 (EST)
From: [email-masked] (Aaron V. Humphrey)
Subject: Acka: CFJ 545 Appeal

I have thought better of it and am appealing CFJ 545.  (I apologize to the
Supreme Court in advance, and urge them to penalize me heavily if this turns
out to be a frivolous appeal.  However, with the Tornado coming up, I'd like
to know for sure who's Sheltered and who's not.)

Rule 1, at the time, created a building called 'Rule 1 is repealed. #1
Headquarters' with "six 3500-meter tall ostentatious towers attached to
it which are not associated with any player."  Rule 1 also defined other
characteristics for it, including it being a Common Location, and the
fact of only being able to be admitted by members of 'Rule 1 is repealed.
#1', a.k.a. Vulcan.

Rule 835 is not clear as to whether R1ir#H (for short) would remain a
Common Location after the Rules stopped specifying that it is.  However,
considering that the magic words "A Location may only be a Common Location
as specified by the Rules" do not appear, I think it is possible that it
could be.

So let us assume The Gingham Wearer was able to enter R1ir#H.  Would e
still be Sheltered?  Rule 841 states that "the term 'Ostentatious Tower'
is always with respect to a particular player".  I believe that this may
cause the no-player-associated Ostentatious Towers on R1ir#H(and, for
that matter, Vulcan Headquarters)to not function as Ostentatious Towers
for the purposes of the rest of the Rule.  The word "ostentatious" in what
is now Rule 1150 may be considered to be a meaningless adjective, because
the Rules do not support its attempted definition.  By elimination, the
towers on the two Headquarters must be Public(although there is the
possibility that they do not fit the criterion for Public towers either,
and may end up being towers of unspecified nature).

Thus, I believe that the Towers on R1ir#H, and VH as well, are not
Ostentations for the Purpose of Rule 841, and thus do not possess
Sheltering basements.

I also note that the fact that Towers seem to be specified to Shelter
players _only during Tornados_ would make this trivially FALSE anyway,
but I'd like to know whether TGW would be Sheltered during the Tornado
as well.

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/alfvaen/ )
Song In My Head--Toronto:Master of Disguise
Current Book--Robert Charles Wilson:The Harvest
Hey!  Who spiked the Jello?

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 11:32:28 -0500 (EST)
From: Guy Fawkes <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: CFJ 545 Appeal

On Thu, 12 Mar 1998, Aaron V. Humphrey wrote:

> Thus, I believe that the Towers on R1ir#H, and VH as well, are not
> Ostentations for the Purpose of Rule 841, and thus do not possess
> Sheltering basements.

I am of the opinion that in the absence of the precedence language of Rule
1, the towers referred to in the Rule defining Vulcan headquarters are not
Towers, but a description bearing no semantic meaning on the Rules.

> Rule 841: There are two types of towers: Ostentatious Towers and Public
> Towers. An Ostentatious Tower is a tower that a player adds
> to a building they own (the term "Ostentatious Tower" is always with
> respect to a particular player). A Public Tower is a tower
> that a player adds to a public building, (that is, a building defined by
> the rules which is owned by no player or Undead), or to a
> kaa of public land. 

None of the "towers" supposedly on these building fit either definition,
since in neither case was the tower built by a player -- the Rules built
the Towers.  While there was precedence language in Rule 1, they remained
towers, but once that language was removed, the "towers" were no longer
Towers as defined by the Rules.

GF

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 12:26:13 -0500 (EST)
From: "Tom Walmsley" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: acka: illuminatus election

> Strange voting in this one.  

It is rather, isn't it.
 
> Voting for Hubert:  /dev/joe, Slakko
> for Alfvaen: Alfvaen, Hubert, TGW, and Fortunato
> for TGW: else..if, else...if's EBS, ThinMan, hibert
> for K2: Vynd, Vynd's EBS, K 2 
> 
> So we have a tie, and since Rule 431 doesn't tell me differently, the
> winner is determined at random from the tied canadiates, which I will do
> as soon as figure out how to use the die server.

I thought there was some rule by which votes by non player entities get ignored on a recount which would mean Alfvaen would win
(else...if's EBS being ignored). I may be mistaken though.

TGW.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 12:42:35 -0500 (EST)
From: David Scheidt <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: acka: illuminatus election

On Thu, 12 Mar 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:

> 
> I thought there was some rule by which votes by non player entities get ignored on a recount which would mean Alfvaen would win
> (else...if's EBS being ignored). I may be mistaken though.

For hearings this is what happens.  For elections, one of several things
may happen (including ignoring EBS votes).  In the absence of any
particular method in the Rule govering the election, the random method is
used.  The rule is in the early 400's.

rufus

> 
> TGW.
> 

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 14:50:52 -0500 (EST)
From: **Alexandre Muniz <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: New treasure

I am creating a trinket named "Lake Vostok", worth 95 A$, with the
description, "Very little is known about Lake Vostok, but it may hold
the key to determining whether life can exist on Kansas."

I am burying it as a treasure.

I am revealing the following, which, if it had nothing to do with the
map to Lake Vostok, would be very sadistic of me indeed.

In the game of lines of action, pieces move according to the following
rules:

A piece may move horizontally, vertically, or diagonally on an 8x8
board. The number of squares that it moves must equal the number of
pieces on the line that it moves on.

It may not jump over any piece of the opposite color. It may however
jump over pieces of the same color.

It may not move onto a square occupied by a piece of the same color. (If
it moves onto a square occupied by a piece of the opposite color, that
piece is captured.)

(More information about lines of action is available at David Dyer's
lines of action page: http://www.andromeda.com/people/ddyer/loa/loa.html
The problem described in this post is mentioned there.)

Ignoring all of the other rules of lines of action for the moment, it is
possible to place pieces on the board such that no piece can move.
Obviously this is the case if the board is entirely filled. An
interesting question is, how few pieces can one place on the board such
that no piece can move?

An only slightly less trivial solution is to use a che[ck|qu]ered
pattern.
This works if all of the pieces are of the same color or if the
diagonals are of alternating colors, as below.

x . o . x . o .
. x . o . x . o
o . x . o . x .
. o . x . o . x
x . o . x . o .
. x . o . x . o
o . x . o . x .
. o . x . o . x

I have done a bit of playing around on a go board, but I have not yet
found a solution using fewer than thirty-two stones, and I am very
curious as to whether such a solution is possible.

Therefore, the map to Lake Vostok is (something like:)

On May 15, 1998, Lake Vostok will be found by the player who has sent
two-star a solution to the problem described above using fewer pieces
than any other submitted solution. The submission should consist of a
representation of an 8x8 board with pieces placed such that no piece
could move according to the piece movement rules of lines of action.
If there is a tie, two-star will consider the aesthetic merit of the
solutions and the timing of their submission in breaking the tie.
If any player provides, along with eir solution, a proof that no
solution using fewer pieces exists, and two-star is satisfied with this
proof, e shall find Lake Vostok immediately.

Empty Boards are Right Out.

**two-star

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 16:56:02 -0500 (EST)
From: Duncan Richer <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: The Infrequent Ackan Volume 1 Issue 14

Volume 1, Issue 14
March 12, 1998
This week's slogan:
"Acka's biggest newspaper - and still growing!"
In this issue:
1. Editorial
2. Apologies and Retractions.
3. Poll Question #3
4. More Ackanomic News
5. Special Report - Interview with a Breadbox
6. Sub-Game Soup
7. Advertisement
 
Editorial
The Supreme Court reform is now out in the open, ready for voting.
Discussions have modified the proposal slightly, but it appears that very
little has been done to affect the gist of it.  The allowance for
supermajority verdicts if one week produces a deadlock in the Full Court
of the Supreme Court appears to be a useful change, as does the extension
of the Senate's Justice rejection policy to one week.  Neither of these
detracts from the main advantages of the proposal - spreading appeals
around while ensuring that verdicts remain consistent, and are returned
more quickly.  In fact, the first of the two amendments to be included
would appear to be advantageous from this point of view.
Public opinion in the past has been that the Supreme Court was fine, and
no changes were necessary.  Just last month an Infrequent
Ackan-commissioned poll revealed that 100% of the voting populace thought
that the Supreme Court situation should remain as is.  However, since then
discussion has revealed a large shift in voting opinions.  The extreme
delay in some Supreme Court cases has become an issue for some players.
It is still not known whether or not Malenkai won a Cycle with eir
attempted Swingpoints scam, even though e has since managed to leave this
life as an Ackan and become an Undead once again.  The one month
anniversary on the Supreme Court's appointment to this matter was six days
ago, a symbol of the extreme level of hard work that the SC is forced to
go through.  Reform can only alleviate this pain.  Let's fix the system
now.
In a similar vein, concepts for modification of the proposal structure are
in the development phase.  The current method for scoring from proposals
relies on the interaction of a large number of different rules, to the
extent that there are rules whose main purpose is to determine the order
in which such scoring changes are applied and affect one another.  The new
proposed system should be able to alleviate all that, although at this
stage the final form of the structure is not yet known.  All that is known
about the new system is that it replaces the existing multiple
appellations (more than one of which can be simultaneously applicable,
such as Harfy, Grandiose and Foolish) into a single series of Categories.
Reform in this area would no doubt make the system easier to handle, and
would probably shrink the size of the ruleset in the area considerably (or
if not, at least make it easier to decipher on a casual reading).  Give
reform in this area a chance.
A reminder from the Editor: Letters to the Ackan are always welcome. We
will publish contributors within reason, because our aim is to provide
Ackans with a comprehensive news and opinions service. This includes
opinions contradicting the paper, so feel free to criticise editorial
comments. If you want your opinions heard, or letters published, please
send them to [email-masked].  Send a stamped self-addressed email to the
address listed above, marked "Acka: Ackan" and we'll do our best to get
back to you.
Have another good Ackan week - banna willing we'll be back next week.
Slakko - Editor, The Infrequent Ackan
 
Apologies and Retractions
The Ackan apologises for the error in last issue's advertisement for
sub-editors.  It should, of course, have read "Bullet-proof vest and own
firearms not recommended."  The sub-editor responsible for the error has
been ... transferred to another department.
And then shot.
As a result of the huge impact of the interview with breadbox this week,
we have had to hold over the Party Chess Report until next week.  That and
the fact that very little has changed since last week, with the exception
of the election of Guy Fawkes to the NAP Swinger's role.
The Ackan heartily apologises for any damage or difficulties caused by
these errors and/or omissions.
 
Poll Question
Last week's Poll Question was:
3. How do you feel about the suggested proposal scoring system
modifications (category 1,2,3 etc.):
(a) It works fine now, and I'm sure the Scorekeeper can keep track of it,
thank you very much.
(b) I don't mind as long as the effect on scores doesn't change too
drastically.
(c) Introduce the Tiny Proposals, but don't bother with the rest of the
revamp.
(d) Don't bother with the Tiny Proposals, just the rest of the revamp.
(e) Change Now! Before we're all crushed like ants! :-)
The Ackan received an outstanding response, with 5 people bothering to
return the survey form.  That's an astounding 400% increase on the last
poll.  If this trend continues, then all of Acka will be sending in
results within the month.  While we cannot expect such exponential
increases to continue, there is always hope.
The results of the survey were:
(a): 1/2 a vote
(b): 1/2 a vote
(d): 2 votes
(e): 2 votes.
So Acka has voted for change, but cannot appear to agree on exactly how
far that change should go.  It appears that the Tiny Proposals are far
more controversial than the rest of the reform.  This is an interesting
case, because it was the concept of the Tiny Proposals which triggered the
avalanche of reform concepts in the first place.
The winner of the A$5 trinket this week is /dev/joe (again!) - the
randomness has picked him out of the mess (honest).  A representative from
the Ackan will announce the exact nature of the prize shortly.  For those
who claim it is a fix, enough letters will see me award a consolation A$5
prize to someone other than /dev/joe - enough being 6 or more distinct
players all sending me email containing the phrase "We wuz robbed."
Next issue will see another question to tear Acka apart (hopefully), and
the announcement of another competition (possibly with two prizes,
depending upon your responses).  Remember, it costs very little of your
time to enter, and you could win something. /dev/joe already has (thrice!)
in the Great Ackan Poll Question Competition!
 
More Ackanomic News
Scam Scare
A temporary scam scare saw panic for all of 20 minutes in Ackanomic
yesterday.  A CFJ was quickly filed, and as quickly falsified, yet there
has been no question of the result.  It appears the scamsters, all members
of the church of banna, attempted to manipulate Iconoclasm in order to
demand an unbelievably large sum of money from their newest follower, a
poor young deluded Wild Card who had been tricked into joining while e was
under Bracket/Pedantry questioning.  Unfortunately, while faith can move
mountains, it could not move the rules in this case, and the scam
collapsed under its own involuntariness.
Calls have been made for the arrest of the villains involved, but in a
chat with the Chief of Ackan Police the Infrequent Ackan discovered that
these were generally being ignored.  "They haven't committed an offence,"
said Officer Beedamup, "so there's nothing we can legally arrest them for,
not even Iconoclasm.  Freedom of religion here in Acka means that, as long
as it goes on in the temples, there isn't anything we can do unless we're
called in specifically to say that Church Law is being violated.  Even
then, we can really only deal with people if they accept the authority of
the church - once they leave there isn't even that right."
Election Week
As Election Week turns into election fortnight, more offices are being
gradually filled.  Today saw the announcement of results for Illuminatus,
the post recently voluntarily vacated by two-star, e of the round tuit.
Meanwhile Guy Fawkes and Hubert are settling into their offices as
Non-Aligned Swinger and DeeJay.  We here at the Ackan wish them every
success in eir endeavours in these offices (up to a point - don't touch my
Rook Guy or you'll be in trouble :-))
No News on Proposal Front
The frobbing agent on the Proposal queue is doing its job - is it doing it
too well?  Currently there are less than 12 proposals up for voting after
being distributed by the Tabulator.  Is this a sign of the decay Acka
could be facing, or simply a symptom of the apathy of some players, and
the lack of opportunity that others, frobbed out, are having to deal with?
Whatever the answer, we hope the proposal bot is up and running soon - the
sooner the better from the Ackan's point of view.
 
Special Report - Interview with a Breadbox
Filling in for the Party Chess Report this week, the Ackan provides its
first in a hopefully ongoing series of interviews with the names that have
made Acka great.  This week we are interviewing (primarily in eir position
as Poet Laureate) one of Acka's most tireless workers - breadbox.  All the
staff here at the Ackan (including the Editor) wish to express their
personal thanks to breadbox for taking the time out of eir busy schedule
to join us for this interview.
IA: This week the Infrequent Ackan is talking with breadbox, current
Promoter, Tabulator, Spelling Exchequer and Poet Laureate.  breadbox,
thanks for joining us.
b: Hey, don't forget Justice, Historian, and Rule-Harfer. But you're
welcome.
IA: You've been Poet Laureate for a good few months now.  How busy have
you been writing poetry for the masses?
b: Uh, not at all. Maybe I should advertise more? But actually,
commissions are simply few and far between. Always have been. The demand
for poetry is rarely high, and when it is, most people prefer to write it
themselves. And there's nothing wrong with that. Poetry should not be
treated as an art that only a select few are permitted to pursue. Of
course, I would be happier if there were more commissions, but I am
equally happy to see others creating their own poetry.
IA: Have there been any Presidental requests of particular interest?
b: There have been two since I took up the post. The second one I have
just now completed, before doing this interview, namely President Slakko's
request for a birthday poem. This was a hard poem to write, at first. You
see, at the time of the celebration I had wanted to write just such a
poem. fnord, the previous Poet Laureate, had done one for the first
anniversary. His was uncommissioned - a gift, if you will - and was very
short and to the point. I had thought that it would be nice to do the
same: a short poem that re-used one or two of his lines in order to link
them. Unfortunately, I had writer's block, and was terribly busy with
other duties that day, so it never got done. So when Slakko requested just
such a poem later on, after his election, I found myself with the same
writer's block as before. I finally decided not to follow the same form as
fnord's poem, and work with something longer - which also seemed
appropriate for a commissioned work. I guess that was the right choice,
because after that I had no trouble writing it. And I did manage to re-use
a couple of his lines, so the two poems are still linked. All in all, I'm
happy with it. But it *was* delivered terribly late.
IA: Do the commissions from private individuals pay at all well?
b: Well, I myself have never received a private commission, so I really
don't know what I'd charge for one. That's actually a question that I've
often wondered - what do you charge for a poem? It's a little tricky to
try to measure the worth of your own art, especially when the price has to
be agreed upon before you start writing. I imagine that I would charge
more or less what fnord did - probably less. I always thought his prices
were a bit high. Anyway, I suppose the answer to your question is
definitely not. But then again, I'm not in it for the money. It's not
meant to be a lucrative office.
IA: What would you like to see happen to the post of Poet Laureate in the
future?  Can you see yourself remaining Poet Laureate for the next year or
so?
b: That's hard to say. Interest in poetry may perhaps have declined a bit,
recently - most of the poetry required by the rules has been repealed. For
those of you who may be too new to remember, every Priest was at one time
required to post a poetic prayer once a month, in order to prevent
flooding. Guy Fawkes created some charming poetry in that capacity, and
/dev/joe authored at least one that made me laugh out loud. And, going
back even farther, Party Hall used to have a monthly party, and if any
Swinger failed to show up for it, the Gaoler was required to write an
"awfully written" 8-line poem. Brinjal, who was Gaoler at the time that
rule was enacted, really knew how to rise to the occasion: his first poem
won the first Silver Moon - hands down, if I recall. snowgod was also
Gaoler while that rule still existed, and some of his contributions are a
hoot. His stuff could go both ways: he could create a real gem, or
something that was so awful it would leave you reeling. Anyway, all those
rules are gone now. But then again, we now have the BWG Laser, so our
poetic tradition hasn't been forgotten entirely. I think poeple are a
little less interested in commissioned poetry, though, because it seems
like something you pay for ought to be serious, even stuffy. And who wants
to pay money for stuffy poetry? Maybe this interview will make people
think about it again. I have this formal-sounding title, but that doesn't
mean my only interests are solemn. So, I suppose the answer to your first
question is that I'd like to see people commissioning poetry again,
especially poetry that contributes to Ackanomic's harf. As to your second
question - I honestly have no idea. As I've said, everyone can write
poetry. The only difference between me and everyone else is that I have to
write it on demand.  I've found that I am one of those people who do their
best work when under pressure from deadlines, so I find the job suits me
well. But who knows what the future may hold?
IA: Finally, any special stories you would wish to tell us about your time
as Poet Laureate so far?
b: Well, my first Presidential commission was a bit unusual. That was from
Alfvaen, near the end of his first term - he commissioned a poem from me
to honor himself. My first reaction was that this request was a tad bit
narcissistic, and not exactly what the Presidential Power had been created
for. But since no one else seemed to think it odd, I I decided I was
probably overreacting. And indeed, Alfvaen had, for various reasons, been
involved in a number of interesting events during his time, so I had
enough subject matter to work with. I decided the ballade was an
appropriate poetic form to use for the occasion, and its rather strict
rhyming requirements made it an interesting assignment. I completed the
poem, though a few hours over the deadline, and submitted it - and then,
almost immediately afterwards, Malenkai announced that Alfvaen had found
Treasure 106, the fabled Map of Jara. Seems that one of its conditions was
to have had a poem written in your honor. Quite a surprise for me, I must
say. In the first stanza of the poem, I had made reference to Alfvaen's
Treasure-hunting skills. If I had known that what I was writing was a
furtherance of that, I probably would have added an allusion to the poem's
true purpose in the final quatrain. It would have been the perfect way to
end the poem! Ah well. It's still a good effort.
IA: breadbox, thank you for your time.
b: It's been a pleasure. 

Sub Game Soup
As always, "a delectable collection of subgame treats to delight the
gourmand".
Coming Attractions
News is spreading throughout Acka of a whole new game to debut this coming
week.  The tales of "Abstract Crescent" have gone far and wide, with
players coming from all over Acka, eager to try the new game out.  It
promises to be an interesting diversion, and vacancies are still open, so
get those requests in now as play will start shortly.  "From the people
who brought you the Ongar Denial, the Drone Keeper and the Power Equals
Knowledge time loop comes the leanest, meanest version of MC you have ever
seen."
Fictionary
Alfvaen is still mathematically capable of losing Fictionary.  However, to
do so e would have to fail to submit a definition, and have breadbox win
each round by guessing the correct definition and having everyone else
vote for breadbox. /dev/joe's last round didn't help matters any, with the
points well spread.  Only /dev/joe and else...if missed out on points,
with, as in the previous round, the only player to fail to submit a
definition being the one who guessed the correct definition.  The battle
for second, in contrast, is hotting up, with a number of players within a
couple of points.  The runner-up's mantle could well be decided in the
final round, so stay tuned for that.
Grab a Donkey
Grab-a-Donkey results for round 9 saw the list cut to a final eight.  The
best of the grabbers, The Gingham Wearer, had a narrow escape as inability
to agree on separate targets saw Guy Fawkes and Slakko tangle their
lariats.  Meanwhile, the round's only casualty, Hubert, made a severe
miscalculation and saw eir donkey grabbed away too quickly.  With TGW on 4
donkeys grabbed to breadbox's 2, how will players react as the game enters
its final phase?
On a side note, will betting have any effect on this game, with one
remaining player still in with a chance at the pool?  The Gingham Wearer
put in money, but can e make the result come out the way e wants?  Alfvaen
and /dev/joe have both bitten the dust too early to have a significant
impact - or have they?  Keep watching as the tension mounts for players
and punters.
Viruses
The battle for dominance in Viruses seems to get more complex every week.
/dev/joe clawed his way back to the Viruscount lead after a one-round
surrender to else...if broke the run of Viruspoints.  Given The Gingham
Wearer's continued inability to catch up, it appears that /dev/joe is in
the best position at this stage.  However, with the virus counts so tight
at the top right now (/dev/joe, breadbox and else...if within 3 cells)
there is still plenty of life in the game yet.
At the bottom of the counts, The Gingham Wearer lies low for now - will e
make a determined comeback from a mere 8 cells?  Will Slakko fare any
better, looking to improve on 15 and challenge the leaders again?  This
appears the most interesting game at the moment - so keep your eyes
peeled.
Word Un-Association 
Some stumbles from Hubert have seen this game turn into a much closer
affair.  Into the third round of links and /dev/joe and Hubert are tied
with 7 points.  Meanwhile, Slakko is only one point behind, but with a
turn in hand as e has already provided eir uh? word for the round.  Will
this be an advantage?  Does anybody give a damn?  The answers are sure to
follow, as are the proposals that would fix this game.
YORL
Sam on the moon, caught in a trap.  The giants have appeared again
(despite having been burned as the loose end was first cleared up).  Will
Sam be any good at the fight, now that e has had a decent albeit
cheese-oriented meal?  And, more importantly, when is the Lunatic Finger
going to turn up again?  We sent it out but it hasn't come back yet.
There is also still a bench empty - so if you want in on the crazy goings
on down at the moon, park your seat in a seat, drop A$20 in the pot and
get ready to play Ye Olde Rusty Lantern.
 
Advertisement
On the heels of the hopefully wildly successful breadbox interview, the
Ackan is looking for more interviews.  If you're aged between 12 and 112,
and have held a public office in Acka for at least one month continuously
at any stage in Acka's history, then the staff of the Infrequent Ackan
would like to hear from you.  Just email us at [email-masked] with the
keywords "Acka: Ackan" and say you would like to do an interview.  That's
all.  If you are accepted (which, let's face it, is still pretty likely at
this stage) then someone from the Ackan will be around to contact you
shortly.

The Infrequent Ackan, first to you with Ackan news.
Copyright  Duncan Richer writing under the pseudonym of "Slakko", and
Brian Raiter as "breadbox", 12/3/98.
Check us out on the web, at
http://dcr24.quns.cam.ac.uk/Nomic/Acka/infrequent.html 

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 17:01:32 -0500 (EST)
From: Jonathan David Amery <[email-masked]>
Subject: Complaint!  I

  This Message only exists if the church of Banna succeded in taking
A$30,000 off me.

  There I was, just calmly asking to join the church, and no-one told me
anything about having to pay to change locations.  All of a sudden I'm hit
by an unwarrented Bracket-Pedantry hearing (what ever that might be) and
shipped off to the Wilds, where I might be caught by the B-Ack!  On top of
all of this I am then fined A$30,000 for changing locations, when that
wasn't even my fault and no-one had told me about it.

 Wild Card.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 17:16:16 -0500 (EST)
From: Jonathan David Amery <[email-masked]>
Subject: Complaint II

  On top of possibly loosing A$30,000 there is also the fact that I had
been called for Bracket-Pedantry.  All I did was miss out a bracket!  It
is highly illogical to tar and feather someone mearly for missing out
bracket - and I'm sure no-one has actually told me what a Smiley is, I
mean Slakko got away with something that could be called a smiley.  The
rules don't make any sense!

 Wild Card.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 18:47:23 -0500 (EST)
From: Jonathan David Amery <[email-masked]>
Subject: Complaint III

  And to top it all my nice trade organisation that I tried to found was
voted down and I was penalised a full 16 points!  No-one told me that
Grandiose lost more points, I was just told that it was a good idea, by my
mentor.

 Wild Card.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 20:43:48 -0500 (EST)
From: Towsner <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Evil deeds

	Having been removed from my position as Caped Crusader, the time
has come to reveal my evil plot to the world.  I am founding the mob.  It
will not be a rule- or player- sanctioned anything.  Everyone is invited to
join it.  Its goal is to corrupt, destroy, and abuse the criminal justice
system.  In particular, it intends to avoid punishing true crimes, while
persecuting the innocent.  Let me know (privately) if you're interested.

- --
- -Henry Towsner, AKA else...if, The Fearless Alibi Posesser, Laefu, and Yilran

	<[email-masked]>

	Success is the child of audacity.
		-Benjamin Disraeli

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 12 Mar 1998 21:59:00 -0500 (EST)
From: [email-masked] (Aaron V. Humphrey)
Subject: Re: Acka: The Infrequent Ackan Volume 1 Issue 14

> Scam Scare
> A temporary scam scare saw panic for all of 20 minutes in Ackanomic
> yesterday.  A CFJ was quickly filed, and as quickly falsified, yet there
> has been no question of the result.

I would like the Infrequent Ackan to retract their statement about the
CFJ being "falsified".  In North American dialect, at least, that doesn't
mean "judged FALSE", rather more like "forged".  Hence, the allegation
above is likely to be false itself.

> b: Well, my first Presidential commission was a bit unusual. That was from
> Alfvaen, near the end of his first term - he commissioned a poem from me
> to honor himself. My first reaction was that this request was a tad bit
> narcissistic, and not exactly what the Presidential Power had been created
> for. But since no one else seemed to think it odd, I I decided I was
> probably overreacting.

I'd tried getting fnord to do one too, but e faded from the game before
ever turning one out.  And the Presidency seemed the perfect aegis to
do it under, though I would probably have been willing to pay a little
bit...:-)

> YORL
> Sam on the moon, caught in a trap.  The giants have appeared again
> (despite having been burned as the loose end was first cleared up).  Will
> Sam be any good at the fight, now that e has had a decent albeit
> cheese-oriented meal?  And, more importantly, when is the Lunatic Finger
> going to turn up again?  We sent it out but it hasn't come back yet.
> There is also still a bench empty - so if you want in on the crazy goings
> on down at the moon, park your seat in a seat, drop A$20 in the pot and
> get ready to play Ye Olde Rusty Lantern.

And I just noticed that my three day limit has expired.  Oops.  I'm not
used to this working schedule any more.  :-(

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/alfvaen/ )
Current Album--The Offspring:Ixnay On The Hombre
Current Book--Robert Charles Wilson:The Harvest
Vanilla so potent you could find it in the dark.

------------------------------

End of ackanomic digest V3 #57
******************************