Subject: Ackanomic Digest V2 #150
From: [email-masked] (Ackanomic Digest)
To: ackanomic-digest

Ackanomic Digest         Friday, June 20 1997         Volume 02 : Number 150

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 23:14:56 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: [Fwd: Re: Acka:]

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 22:08:28 -0500
From: Sunflare <[email-masked]>
To: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka:

Malenkai wrote:
> 
> Sunflare,
> 
>         Do you wish to remain in the game of Ackanomic?  You
> must respond within 3 days if yes.
> 
> Malenkai
> Speaker

No.  Perhaps some other time, but right now my life is too hectic.

Thanks.

Sunflare

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 23:23:41 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: CFJ 413 (/dev/joe)

/dev/joe has been picked.

If Niccolo Flychuck's no vote on that GOD proposal would in fact have
caused it to fail, this CFJ may set up a thread split on the whole
GOD thing, as well as on the alien rolls of last week.

Clerk of the Courts
Wearing an authentic snowgod campaign prosthetic forehead
- ------------------------------------------------------------------

Call For Judgment 413
  Subject: Automated Voting
Initiator: Guy Fawkes
    Judge: /dev/joe (selected Jun 19, 1997, 23:23h EDT)
Judgement:

Statement: 

Sending email to [email-masked] with subject line
containing the string "Acrobot" and a message body containing the string
"#vote " followed by the number of a proposal whose voting period has
not yet expired and the abbreviation (y n or p) of a valid vote (i.e.
the proper bot syntax) is not necessarily equivalent to sending one's
votes to the Promoter.

Guy Fawkes's Reasoning:

This statement more or less says that if Acrobot didn't count
your votes that you sent to it, and you didn't take the time to send
those votes to the Promoter by some other means, then the Promoter is
under no legal obligation to count them.

The rules require that votes must be sent to the Promoter in order to be
counted, although they do give a deal of leeway in how they are to be
sent.  Sending them via private email works, as does sending them
through the public mailing list (this assumes, of course, that the
Promoter's email is not bouncing).  Prior CFJ's even state that email is
not the essential medium, thereby allowing Mohammed to use a cgi script
to receive votes.

I maintain that sending one's votes to the promoter consists of two
parts: first, the voter must attempt to send the votes, and secondly,
the Promoter must receive them.  Via private email, if the vote message
bounces, one must attempt to mail them to the Promoter by other means.
The rules do not take into account the difficulties that real life
presents us: unless the promoter receives the votes, they were not
legally sent to him.  (One might think of the other case as sending
one's votes _at_ the promoter.)

The Acrobot and the voting web page, though not dealt with by the rules,
provide a convenient (at least for the Promoter, if not always for the
voter) method of sending one's votes to the Promoter.  When working
properly, they save the officer much effort in receiving and counting
votes.  When not working properly, however, they may even impede this
effort by impairing the Promoter's ability to receive votes.

It is publically knowable that mail sent to the Promoter with subject
line "Acrobot" is not immediately read by the Promoter, but handled
instead by the bot.  Furthermore, the Promoter has no reason to read
such mail unless he knows the bot is malfunctioning.  Under normal
circumstances, the bot is the Promoter's method of receiving votes,
although other methods are still legal.  When either through the fault
of the voter or the bot's programming, the bot does not successfully
receive the vote, and the Promoter is not alerted to this fact and
somehow receives the vote manually before the end of the voting period,
the vote was not sent to the Promoter.

The case that the vote was sent to the Promoter because he could have
received had he known there was a bot malfunction in time is frivolous.
By this same reasoning, one could post one's votes to an almost
universally accessible newsgroup (say alt.test) and say that nothing
impeded the Promoter from finding that vote had he known where it was in
time.  Also, take note of Rule 250, which I consider one of the most
important rules of the game.  "A player is a person..."  _not_ an email
address.  Unless the _person_ who is the Promoter receives a vote in
time, by whatever means necessary, it was not legally sent to him.

As a side-note, the whenever the Acrobot counts a player's votes, it
sends email to the voter's address informing him of this fact.  The
absence of this notification serves as a good indication of when the bot
failed to serve as the medium through which the Promoter receives his
votes.

Apologizing for the long reasoning, I summarize this statement in that
it is the voter's responsibility to make sure the Promoter receives eir
votes by whatever means necessary.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 23:30:27 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: CFJ 411 (Vynd)

CFJ 411 has been reassigned to Vynd.

Jun 19 23:29 EDT: -10 CV1701: did not respond to CFJ 411

Clerk of the Courts
Wearing a goofy wizard's hat with stars and moons on it
- ------------------------------------------------------------------

Call For Judgment 411
  Subject: Losing CFJs
Initiator: Robert Sevin
    Judge: CV1701 (failed to respond)
2nd Judge: Vynd (selected Jun 19, 1997, 23:29h EDT)
Judgement:

Statement:

The following two events are not equivalent:
Initiating a CFJ and having it judged false.
Losing a CFJ.

Robert Sevin's Reasoning:

I'm not sure what it means to lose a CFJ, but I don't think CFJs are a
contest that can be won or lost depending on the judgement given.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 20:38:40 -0700
From: [email-masked] (Dice server)
Subject: Acka: Thermonuclear Annhilation [sic]

- -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----

Dice rolls requested by: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Rolls also sent to:
    [email-masked]

# Odd its the REALLY big explosion, even its the QI
# Malenkai

No. of sides on every die:     20
No. of dice for every roll:     1
No. of dice rolls requested:    1
No. of rolls per line:          1

      2

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      http://www.pbm.com/ds.html

Original message follows:
> From [email-masked]  Thu Jun 19 20:38:23 1997
> Received: (from smtp@localhost) by xkey.com
>       id UAA26650 for <[email-masked]>; Thu, 19 Jun 1997 20:38:23 -0700
> Received: from mail.itw.net(206.138.122.6) by xkey.com via smtp (V1.3)
>       id sma026646; Thu Jun 19 20:38:17 1997
> Received: from ppp139.itw.com (ppp139.itw.com [206.138.122.139]) by mail.itw.net (8.8.0/8.7.3) with SMTP id XAA01895 for <[email-masked]>; Thu, 19 Jun 1997 23:38:14 -0400
> Message-ID: <[email-masked]>
> Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 23:36:27 -0400
> From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
> X-Mailer: Mozilla 2.0 (Win95; I; 16bit)
> MIME-Version: 1.0
> To: [email-masked]
> Subject: Acka:
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
> Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
> 
> #P [email-masked]
> #S 20
> #D 1
> #R 1
> #L 1
> #T Acka: Thermonuclear Annhilation [sic]
> 
> #C Odd its the REALLY big explosion, even its the QI
> #C Malenkai

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------------------------------

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 20:40:46 -0700 (PDT)
From: Brian Raiter <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: reply to stuff

> And I don't see it that way at all.  If I have a Proposal that I
> think makes enough of a change not to be Modest, I won't make it
> Modest just to make it more likely to pass.  I'd rather I got an
> honest evaluation of what people thought of it, IMHO.  (Well, maybe
> more Pompous than Humble...)

That's fine. In other words, you feel that enough effort was put into
this proposal to make it worth 10 points, in your eyes and in the eyes
of the voters.

> I think it's a shame that CnH's fine proposals were marked with
> Modesty merely because he they would not pass otherwise.  This is
> mitigated somewhat by the harfy bonus on 2070, but I think they
> would have passed without being Modest.

Well, that's a judgement call everyone has to make. Being good at
making that judgement call is part of what makes a playing-for-points
player successful. It might also be the case that CnH cared much more
about increasing the Proposal's odds than about earning points for
himself.

Just for the record, I agree with you that, as a rule of thumb, a
proposal that creates a new rule doesn't need to be Modest. But that's
mainly because, as a rule of thumb, adding a new rule requires a
bit of prior research to ensure that you're not breaking anything.

breadbox

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 20:42:20 -0700
From: [email-masked] (Dice server)
Subject: Acka: Boon determination

- -----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----

Dice rolls requested by: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Rolls also sent to:
    [email-masked]

# I am using the dice server to determine Alfvaen's boon 
# based on the following (using a 100 sided die):
# 1 -45: ancient artifact (random gadget)
# 46-70: ancient scroll (random otzma card)
# 71-80: gods are smiling (bonus vote)
# 81-87: ancient relic (trinket worth A$75)
# 88-92: ancient knowledge (new blueprint)
# 93-97: ancient wisdom (new otzma card)
# 98-99: gods are bored (pointy ears)
#  100 : gods are grouchy (chartreuse goose)
# Malenkai

No. of sides on every die:    100
No. of dice for every roll:     1
No. of dice rolls requested:    1
No. of rolls per line:          1

     96

Information on the dice server:
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   Replies to [email-masked] vanish into a seldom-read mailbox.

   For instructions on using the dice server, send a message with
   subject "help" to [email-masked], or see http://www.pbm.com/dice/

   The dice server is provided by:

      Shadow Island Games
      http://www.pbm.com/ds.html

Original message follows:
> From [email-masked]  Thu Jun 19 20:42:13 1997
> Received: (from smtp@localhost) by xkey.com
>       id UAA26698 for <[email-masked]>; Thu, 19 Jun 1997 20:42:13 -0700
> Received: from mail.itw.net(206.138.122.6) by xkey.com via smtp (V1.3)
>       id sma026696; Thu Jun 19 20:42:11 1997
> Received: from ppp139.itw.com (ppp139.itw.com [206.138.122.139]) by mail.itw.net (8.8.0/8.7.3) with SMTP id XAA02108 for <[email-masked]>; Thu, 19 Jun 1997 23:42:08 -0400
> Message-ID: <[email-masked]>
> Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 23:40:21 -0400
> From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
> X-Mailer: Mozilla 2.0 (Win95; I; 16bit)
> MIME-Version: 1.0
> To: [email-masked]
> Subject: Acka:
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
> Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
> 
> #P [email-masked]
> #S 100
> #D 1
> #R 1
> #L 1
> #T Acka: Boon determination
> 
> #C I am using the dice server to determine Alfvaen's boon 
> #C based on the following (using a 100 sided die):
> #C 1 -45: ancient artifact (random gadget)
> #C 46-70: ancient scroll (random otzma card)
> #C 71-80: gods are smiling (bonus vote)
> #C 81-87: ancient relic (trinket worth A$75)
> #C 88-92: ancient knowledge (new blueprint)
> #C 93-97: ancient wisdom (new otzma card)
> #C 98-99: gods are bored (pointy ears)
> #C  100 : gods are grouchy (chartreuse goose)
> #C Malenkai

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------------------------------

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 23:51:28 -0400 (EDT)
From: John Frederic Mc Coy <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka:  Proposal 2129

On Thu, 19 Jun 1997, Aaron Humphrey wrote:

> > As for the proposal itself, I have to agree with breadbox on a number of
> > things. A long time ago -- so long ago I don't exactly remember, memories of
> > before my first quickening aren't great [rambling, rambling] -- a long time
> > ago one of my "sure thing" proposals (he he he) failed and some people said
> > they had voted against it because it wasn't modest. So unless it's really
> > important, modest proposals are what I write.
> 
> I'd like to hear some other opinions on this one--whose votes on recent
> Proposals have been changes because of the Modesty, or lack thereof, of the
> Proposal?  I rarely take it much into consideration; although one of
> Malenkai's three-word-twiddle Proposals would certainly garner a "No" vote
> if they weren't Modest, I just don't think to check.
> 

Um, mine have.  Frankly, as soon as I saw that rule in the ruleset, I
figured that this "Don't vote against this please" dort of thing was what
it was for.  I must admit (as I have in the past) that there are some
proposals out there that I am really non-comital on.  I will often try to,
shall we say, play the precentages, on these proposals, and yes, scam a
few points.  Modesty, of course, removes all incentive to do this, which
is why I vote against almost all Modest proposals in protest (not).  There
haven't been very many Grandiose proposals during my stay here.  In fact,
I can only think of two, or at least only two that even the authors
thought had some chance of passing.  One was a proposal to fix some big
loophole or another, by the same player who was trying to exploit it.
This sort of thing represents one way to use Grandiosity, which is to try
and get points when you think your proposal is just too important to pass
up.  This particular proposal failed (I don't think many of us appreciate
this sort of, u, profiteering, and besides, someone else wrote a much
simpler and better fix for us to pass instead).  The other big use for it
would apply more to two-star's recent proposal, which, as he succinctly
put it really *is* Grandiose.  I doubt that in these cases Grandiose
status will sway TOO many votes, but if someone is on the fence, this is
probably going to tip him over.  The last use would be to try and get
people to ote against your proposal, I leave this sort of manuever to Mr.
Lunatic Fringe and company. =)

> 
> --
> --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.terranet.ab.ca/~aaron/)
> Current Album--Kashtin
> Current Book--Jo Clayton:The Snares of Ibex
> 'My name is Inigo Montoya.  You stole my .sig quote.  Prepare to die.'
> 

                                - Vynd

[email-masked]

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 23:55:33 -0400 (EDT)
From: John Frederic Mc Coy <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: CFJ 411 (Vynd)

I accept judgement.

                  - Vynd

On Thu, 19 Jun 1997, Malenkai wrote:

> CFJ 411 has been reassigned to Vynd.
> 
> Jun 19 23:29 EDT: -10 CV1701: did not respond to CFJ 411
> 
> Clerk of the Courts
> Wearing a goofy wizard's hat with stars and moons on it
> ------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Call For Judgment 411
>   Subject: Losing CFJs
> Initiator: Robert Sevin
>     Judge: CV1701 (failed to respond)
> 2nd Judge: Vynd (selected Jun 19, 1997, 23:29h EDT)
> Judgement:
> 
> Statement:
> 
> The following two events are not equivalent:
> Initiating a CFJ and having it judged false.
> Losing a CFJ.
> 
> Robert Sevin's Reasoning:
> 
> I'm not sure what it means to lose a CFJ, but I don't think CFJs are a
> contest that can be won or lost depending on the judgement given.
> 

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 20:59:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: Brian Raiter <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka:  Proposal 2129

> There haven't been very many Grandiose proposals during my stay
> here.  In fact, I can only think of two, or at least only two that
> even the authors thought had some chance of passing.  One was a
> proposal to fix some big loophole or another, by the same player who
> was trying to exploit it.  This sort of thing represents one way to
> use Grandiosity, which is to try and get points when you think your
> proposal is just too important to pass up.  This particular proposal
> failed (I don't think many of us appreciate this sort of, u,
> profiteering, and besides, someone else wrote a much simpler and
> better fix for us to pass instead).  The other big use for it would
> apply more to two-star's recent proposal, which, as he succinctly
> put it really *is* Grandiose.

Off the top of my head, I can only think of a couple of Grandiose
proposals that have passed. There was /dev/joe's creation of the
non-voting player category, which included small changes to dozens of
rules, and obviously required a great deal of research.

Also there was Malenkai's infamous re-org (I think), which caused
several of the foundational rules to be rewritten, removed
Immutability, and renumbered just about everything else.
Unquestionably grandiose.

breadbox

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 20 Jun 1997 00:03:28 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka:  Proposal 2129

> Also there was Malenkai's infamous re-org (I think), which caused
> several of the foundational rules to be rewritten, removed
> Immutability, and renumbered just about everything else.
> Unquestionably grandiose.

Actually, that proposal was grandiose, but I did not designate it
so because of the voting issue.  There was public opposition, and
the whole concept of re-orging the rules was new then, and I could
not risk it failing.  The only proposal of mine to pass that was
actually designated as grandiose was the G&C reorg, which was over
60K.  Admittedly, it was alot of cut and paste, and I was making up
for Reorg I.  Since then there as been Reorg II,III,IV and G&C reorg
from me, and reorgs from others.  Perhaps we need reorg V now :)

Malenkai

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 22:07:38 -0600 (MDT)
From: Aaron Humphrey <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Boon determination

So I don't get blown to ashes after all?  I guess I better go huddle in the
Tower of Bandwidth's storm cellar, then.

> # 93-97: ancient wisdom (new otzma card)

>      96

Hmmm.  Now what the heck am I going to do with a new Otzma Card?  I haven't
even read that rule suite very much.  If anyone has any good ideas for an
Otzma Card I could create, let me know in the next three days(preferably
sooner).  I'm sure there's lots of nifty stuff that could be done, but I'm
just at a loss for good ideas.

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.terranet.ab.ca/~aaron/)
Current Album--If I Were A Carpenter
Current Book--Jo Clayton:The Snares of Ibex
Do not leave doll by microwave oven.  Doll may come to life and kill. --Tencza

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 20 Jun 1997 00:17:45 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Anti-Gumball

When /dev/joe chewed the Anti-Gumball recently, the following
Trinkets were destroyed, and it was not noted at the time:

Runestone of Jukkasjarvi Fragment 2
Runestone of Jukkasjarvi Fragment 8
Runestone of Jukkasjarvi Fragment 10
Runestone of Jukkasjarvi Fragment 12

Malenkai
Speaker

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 23:26:15 -0500 (CDT)
From: "Joseph W. DeVincentis" <devjoe>
Subject: Re: Acka: Anti-Gumball

I am creating 4 trinkets with the following names, each worth A$3:
 Runestone of Jukkasjarvi Fragment 2
 Runestone of Jukkasjarvi Fragment 8
 Runestone of Jukkasjarvi Fragment 10
 Runestone of Jukkasjarvi Fragment 12

Descriptions of these trinkets:
Each Runestone of Jukkasjarvi Fragment is an irregularly shaped stone
with various glyphs and runes engraved on it. It is obvious that they
are parts of a larger whole.

/dev/joe

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 20 Jun 1997 00:30:00 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Bronze Torch

It is with great pleasure that I award both breadbox and Calvin
N Hobbes Bronze Torches.  I have this long, elegant, and lauditory
speech, unfortuately it is posted in another thread :-)

#award breadbox : bronze torch
#award Calvin N Hobbes : bronze torch

Malenkai

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 19 Jun 1997 21:33:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: Brian Raiter <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Four Visitors: A Report

Mohammed's Spring Gazebo
June 16, 1997 12:47 AM

I was woken out of a deep sleep, or as deep a sleep as one can get
while sitting at a desk. The left of my neck was sore. I had been
dreaming about the Machine's Truth. Earlier that night I had heard (or
perhaps imagined that I heard) a soft whirring sound come from the
Machine That Goes *ping*. I had looked up from where I had been
staring at the same page of legalese for who knows how long, unaware
until then that my thoughts had been wandering, and had tried to take
a stab at understanding the inner workings of the Machine That Goes
*ping*. Staring at the softly blinking lights, I must have been lulled
across the short remaining distance into sleep ... and I had had a
flash of insight. It was fading now: something about frogs.  Frogs,
and setting the words of an alternate IEEE standard to music in 7/8
time. That was all I could retrieve.

But what had woken me? I had a vague impression of a noise waking me
up. It hadn't been a *ping* - that I would remember, I felt sure - yet
there had been something. There must have been a noise. I looked
around my study; nothing seemed out of place. And then it came
again. A quiet tapping. As if someone was gently rapping at my
door....

Immediately I came to my senses and stood. Lurching with the
clumsiness of half-asleep feet around the piles of books and papers on
the floor, I made it to the front door and flung it open. "Hello?" I
rasped.

A complete stranger stood on my porch, a man with heavy jowls and bags
under his eyes. It occurred to me that I probably looked no better at
the moment. His response to my greeting seemed to be spoken more to
himself than me. "You are here. With all the letters spilling out of
your mailbox, I was beginning to think that you had gone on a little
unofficial vacation."

I stood up straighter. "I'm a little behind these days." MORE mail? I
thought to myself. Buying myself a moment to clear my head of
muzziness, I stepped back and motioned him inside. I grabbed the stack
of papers off one of my other chairs and set it on the floor, and then
sat down behind my desk. Blinking once, I looked at him again. Paying
no attention to the empty chair, he remained standing, a box of
cigarettes in one hand. Withdrawing one, he said, "Are you a religious
person, breadbox?" before placing the thin cylinder in his mouth.

His use of my name derailed me. "Well, no," I managed to say, "I
suppose not really. Uh," I trailed off as he struck a wooden match
across a matchbox's sandpaper strip. I groped about wordlessly for an
ashtray, as questions suddenly crowded the forefront of my thoughts.
Unable to sort through them, I tried to remember the names of the new
players who I had yet to meet.

"That's a good position to be in these days." A cloud of smoke
accompanied this observation. I placed the finally-found ashtray on
the desk before him. "An advantageous position, one might even say."
He dropped the match into the ashtray, where its flame slowly
suffocated.

"How, how so?" I caught myself. "Look; do I know you?"

He smiled in response, a penultimately humorless smile. "Doesn't the
asking of that question provide its own answer?" More thick smoke.
"Now, I think if I were you, I would avoid getting drawn into
religious discussions for the time being."

"Including this one?" I smiled, pleased that I had been able to
respond to his observation of a self-reference with another.

His expression did not change, and deftly he ground his cigarette into
the ashtray. "Perhaps so." He was now beginning to make me nervous,
and so when he nodded curtly and turned to leave, I was quietly
relieved. I stood up, intending to show him out, but I saw that he was
not waiting for me, and was already opening the door. Rarely have I
seen someone so reserved and simultaneously so unconcerned with the
simplest social niceties. As I was sitting down again, he paused,
turned to me again, and said, "Nonetheless, it would be in your best
interests to heed my advice."

Was this remark intended to have a sinister implication? I could not
tell. "And why is that? Who are you to advise me on my best interests?
Why should I listen to you when I don't even know who you are?" But
he ignored me and left while I was talking, the click of the door his
only reply.

Though still tired, I had now lost any desire to sleep, so I went to
the kitchen to make some coffee. As it was brewing, I stared at the
pot and tried to figure out what was going on. How could it be in my
best interests not to discuss religious issues - something I almost
never do anyway? Why would he care enough to come and tell me this?
And just who the hell was he, anyway?

I returned to my study with a large mug in one hand and sat down
again. As I looked over my papers, trying to remember what I had been
doing before I fell asleep, there was a knock at my door once again.
Annoyed, I did not bother to get up but just yelled, "It's open!"

The door opened and a completely different stranger poked his head
in. His watery eyes, set in a curious and trusting face, roamed around
until they settled on me. "Breadbox?"

"Yes, come in." Was everyone awake tonight? He walked over to my desk,
followed by yet another person I didn't recognize. Her face also
radiated curiousity, but accompanied with caution and a sharp
intelligence. Where the hell were all these strange people who knew my
name coming from?

The man said, "I'm Mold; this is Scold."

I relaxed upon hearing names I recognized, and stood up, offering my
hand. "Of course! Yes, I know of you. Welcome. This is a bit of a
surprise, I must say. I mean, when you first arrived in Ackanomic, I
thought it very unlikely that I would ever meet the two of you."

Mold smiled. "Well, there wasn't much to investigate back then."

"True. Here, let me clear off another chair so that you can sit
down. Can I offer you some coffee?"

"No, please, that won't be necessary." I was about to insist, but
Scold cut me off.

"Breadbox, what do you know about Rule 1301 - the Church rule?"

I sat back down. So this was why they were here. Was I under suspicion
somehow? The words of my previous visitor were starting to look like
good advice. Trying to act normal, I replied carefully, "Just what I
have to know, to carry out my duties as a Justice."

Mold had a thin notebook open in one hand. "Do you know of any reason
why that rule in particular might be the target of an abduction?"

"No," I said decisively. "As far as I can see, the abductions occur
pretty much at random."

Scold queried, "Do you know of anyone who might benefit from Rule
1301's - absence?" Mold looked sideways at her choice of words. Scold
kept her gaze fixed on me.

"... Nnno. I mean, a few people tried to ordain themselves, but
nothing really came of it. Well, as far as I know anyway: I imagine a
lot of what goes on in the Churches isn't public, so I'm not privy to
that. I'm, uh, not a religious person myself."

A pause. Mold looked over his notes. "There seems to be a lot of
activity going on behind the scenes these days, doesn't there?"

Cough. "You mean the flurry of scams we've had recently? That was
mostly Malenkai's doing. I expect that he'd saved up a lot of ideas
while on vacation...."

"There was also the business with the Orbital Mind Control Laser,"
Mold went on.

Scold's turn. "As a Supreme Court Justice you were involved with that
affair, at least indirectly."

My heart jumped. "Whoa. Hang on. I had no idea what was going on
there. I wasn't even paying much attention to those events until that
CFJ was appealed. Even now, I still don't understand exactly what the
scam was really about."

"But looking at the sequence of events with hindsight, you would
surely agree that it had to have been a planned maneuver, with a number
of people working in conjunction with each other."

I hesitatingly nodded. "Yes. That's true. But I assure you I was not
one of those people."

Mold, who had been gazing distractedly at the Machine That Goes
*ping*, looked at Scold. "And Malenkai was involved in that one too,
wasn't he? Isn't Malenkai a Priest of some Church?"

I offered, "He was originally a member of the Church of the Markovian
Dream, but he left it to join /dev/joe's Church - Seleya."

Mold looked at me. "And /dev/joe is the one who had the Mind Control
Laser used on him."

Scold furrowed her brow. "Who actually used the Laser?"

I recited from memory. "Guy Fawkes offered the transfer to /dev/joe;
Mohammed used the OMCL to cause the transfer to occur; and two-star
was the one who originally judged the CFJ False. And Malenkai was the
one to actually make use of the Vending Machine." As I said this, Mold
flipped through pages in his notebook, and made notes.

Scold began, "Didn't /dev/joe enter the Afterlife not too ..." but was
interrupted by Mold.

"Wait. Mohammed is also a member of Seleya, like Malenkai, but Guy
Fawkes is a Markovian. And two-star is not a member of any Church." He
looked up excitedly.

Scold shrugged. "So?"

"Don't you see?" demanded Mold. He put a hand to his forehead briefly.
"Why would a Seleyan Priest agree to help steal from the Founder of
his own Church? And why this roundabout method that required the
co-operation of rival Church members? It doesn't make any
sense.... Unless this is part of a conspiracy that crosses religious
boundaries! Maybe even a conspiracy to destroy one of the other
Churches!"

Scold had not moved. "How does this hypothesis explain the removal
of Rule 1301?" she asked carefully.

Mold turned back and leaned over the desk at me. "Breadbox: in your
judicial opinion, is there any way that Rule 1301's temporary absence
could help an outsider to weaken a Church's power?"

I tried to hide my discomfort with this question by staring at the
notes covering my desk. The existence of such a conspiracy seemed
improbable, but what did I really know? And could I be causing trouble
for innocent people if I encouraged this line of thought? My coffee
was getting cold. Had I said too much already? The warning of the
stranger played through my thoughts. I looked at the crushed butt he
had left in my ashtray. His matchbox was sitting next to the ashtray,
apparently forgotten in his haste to leave after having delivered his
enigmatic message. The matchbox was a pretty red and blue....

I jumped to my feet, almost hitting my head against Mold's, and
grabbed the matchbox off my desk. "What is it?" he asked.

Why hadn't I recognized it before? Carefully I opened it, and a
glittering flea hopped out onto my hand. "Phoebe!" I raised my hand up
close to my face. "I can't tell you how glad I am to see a familiar -
er, entity - tonight."

My visitors stared. "What is THAT?" asked Scold.

"This is Phoebe the Steel Flea. Not a real flea - she's a nanotech."

"How do you do?" said the ever-courteous Phoebe.

Mold jumped in. "A nanotech? You mean she's a technological relic left
over from the ancient astronauts?"

Scold wearily crossed her arms, eyes rolling. "Mold, you know there's
no evidence that the prehistoric natives of Ackanomic were
'astronauts', however technologically advanced they may have been."

"No evidence? What about the Codex of Kra translations? They clearly
indicate ..."

"Breadbox," said Pheobe, quietly so that only I could hear her. "These
people are your friends. Do not trust the advice of strangers."

My accumulated fears of the evening fell from me like weights. "Oh,
Phoebe, I can't tell you relieved I am to know that. I'm so glad
you're here; I had no idea what was the right thing to do. How can I
ever thank you?"

"No thanks are necessary, breadbox. But that's not the reason I
originally wanted to visit you. I know that you enjoy hunting for
treasure."

"Scold, how can you possibly maintain that the descriptions of U1 and
U2 could refer to anything besides ..."

"Well, I dabble in it, yes."

"My advice is this: when treasure hunting, it is best to bring along
some tools. I would recommend a Gimme Shelter, a Cheez-Whiz, and a
Pulse Laser. Of course, to maximize your chances of success, I'd make
sure I had some authentic Snowgod Campaign Prosthetic Foreheads on
hand, too - or at least a reasonable imitation."

"Uh, okay." I didn't understand exactly what all this meant, but
nonetheless I grabbed a pen with my other hand and scribbled down the
particulars in the margin of one of my notes. "Thank you, Phoebe. Is
that all you wanted to tell me?"

"Yes. Well, I might also mention that it could be to your advantage to
do some research on alternate IEEE standards." I gaped at her,
dumbfounded. "Just a hint," she added slyly.

It occured to me that the room had grown quiet again. I saw that Mold
and Scold were once again peering at Phoebe. Mold began, "Breadbox -
uhm, is there any way we could borrow that nanotech long enough to run
some lab tests ..."

I quickly put my hand down so that Pheobe could jump back into her
matchbox. "No. She's not mine to give. Phoebe belongs to herself." I
saw that he was unconvinced, so I quickly cut him off. "Look, there's
something I think you should know. I had another visitor tonight, just
before you showed up."

I was interrupted by an electronic chirping. Scold stepped back,
saying "Excuse me," and pulled out a cell phone. "Hello?"

Mold turned back to me. "Yes? Go on."

"He told me - or, rather, this stranger implied that it would be in my
best interests not to talk about, quote, religious issues. I'm pretty
sure now that he was warning me to not discuss the abduction with you
two." Mold frowned. "He was the one who left Phoebe's matchbox on my
desk, though I don't think that he knew ..."

Eyes wide, Mold suddenly grabbed the cigarette out of the ashtray and
held it up between us. "HE was here? HE told you not to talk to us?"

Breathless, I nodded.

Mold turned. "Scold ..."

Scold looked up from her conversation, concern evident in her
eyes. "Mold, there may have been another abduction. Rule 407 this
time."

"'May have been'?"

She nodded. "It's not clear what actually happened. I think there's
been a thread split."

They looked at me for a brief moment. Then Mold dropped the cigarette
back into the ashtray and turned to go, saying over his shoulder,
"Thank you for the information. We'll be in touch."

"No problem; let me know if there's anything else ..." But they were
already gone.

I slowly sat back down, trying to digest everything that had
happened. I looked at my desk, and saw that Phoebe's matchbox was
nowhere in sight. Thinking that Mold had walked off with her, I almost
got up to run after them, but then I realized: no, Phoebe had simply
vanished again, as she always did. I leaned my whirling head back
against the wall behind me. A conspiracy? Aimed at one of the
Churches? Surely Malenkai would not be party to such skullduggery.
Would he?

As I reached for my coffee, feeling more tired than I did when I fell
asleep, a sharp sound split the silence. I jumped, my hand hitting the
mug crosswise and knocking it across my desk. I watched with dismay as
coffee seeped into my notes, realizing belatedly that the sound had
merely been the Machine That Goes *ping* going *ping*.

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 20 Jun 1997 00:47:49 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Tailor

two-star wrote:

> Much as I was tempted to keep this in circulation as an evil hot
> potato-- (/dev/joe and Thin Man, count yourselves lucky,) I am donating
> Beldin's Parka to the Museum.

Beldin's Parka itself was eaten.

#award Museum : -1 beldin's parka :

Malenkai

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 20 Jun 1997 00:55:10 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Chorg

Guy Fawkes wrote:

> I am reading the next page (5) of my Spell Book of Chorg.  It vanishes
> with a faint lemon glow and a wisp of smoke.  Depsite its rather
> underwhelming pyrotechnic display, I hope it lends me a good temporary
> gadget.

A temporary evil ballot stuffer is lended.

Malenkai

------------------------------

End of Ackanomic Digest V2 #150
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