Subject: Ackanomic Digest V2 #102
From: [email-masked] (Ackanomic Digest)
To: ackanomic-digest

Ackanomic Digest         Friday, May 30 1997         Volume 02 : Number 102

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 00:15:04 -0500 (CDT)
From: "Joseph W. DeVincentis" <devjoe>
Subject: Acka: End of the Rock Sale

Obviously there is little market in Acka for rocks these days.
More than 6 weeks of rock-bottom prices didn't result in many rocks
being sold besides the ones I bought myself.  Who says everybody
wants a rock to wind a string around?

I am setting the price that my Vending Machine sells Rocks to Wind a
String Around for, to be A$6.

/dev/joe
The only player to attempt to scam a win twice using Prosthetic Foreheads.
The only player to succeed once. :-)

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 00:14:39 -0500 (CDT)
From: Thierry Joffrain <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Enfants (was RFC: Renaisance etc..) 

>As most of us are probably aware, this transfer fails.  snowgod is a
>trinket, and to the best of my knowledge cannot own anything.

Geez, really? Oh! Ah! Well... Ooops.
Thanks for your kind assistance Vynd.

Calvin "most of us" Hobbes
who used the same name Mr Nacho used for his transfer

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 28 May 1997 23:56:31 -0700
From: Joshua Nave <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Blue Thing

> > I am burying snowgod, and revealing no portion of the map to anyone.
> >
> > #transfer Antimatter, buried : snowgod : tactical lexical warfare
> > -------------------------------
> > Antimatter * [email-masked]
> > You have the power of negation.
> >
> 
> I love it!
> 

If nothing else, I am once again reading my Acka mail, just to follow
this thread!

Narf

>                                    - Vynd
> 
> [email-masked]

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 28 May 1997 23:59:25 -0700
From: Joshua Nave <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: More silliness

Joseph W. DeVincentis wrote:
> 
> Antimatter wrote:
> > Ross Morgan-Linial <[email-masked]> will write:
> > > I am burying the Temporal Causality loop.
> >
> > I have found the Temporal Causality Loop.
> 
> Sorry, this won't work.  Retroactivity is banned in the rules except
> under very specific circumstances that take precedence over the ban.
> Without some form of retroactivity what Antimatter is trying can't work.
> 
> /dev/joe

Is it?  I thought only proposal with retroactive effects were banned.

Narf

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 00:30:45 -0900
From: Phil Ackley <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Blue Thing 

>> Missed that one.  I am creating another contract, also called "rental: take
>> two" that reads
>>
>> I will return to Bascule any Really Big Blue Thing That Doesn't Do Too
>> Much, Really within seven days of him giving it to me, unless he grants me
>> permission to do otherwise.  This contract will not guide my actions after
>> June 15, 1997
>>
>> and signing it.
>>
>> snowgod
>
>What a day of scams!
>
>This, of course, is an equaly invalid contract, since it was not signed
>by Mr. Nacho.
>
>Snowgod can only be manipulated by the player who currently owns that
>particular entity.
>
>Narf

I disagree.  I signed the contract (posted the valid message and all of
that).  That for some unexplainable reason I accidentally though I was some
sort of trinket does not distract from the signing.

Mr. Nacho

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 00:38:46 -0900
From: Phil Ackley <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Blue Thing 

>
>>
>>This is patently illegal, since the name change was not acked.
>>I am retracting my name change.
>>
>>I am burying snowgod, and revealing no portion of the map to anyone.
>>
>>#transfer Antimatter, buried : snowgod : tactical lexical warfare
>>-------------------------------
>>Antimatter * [email-masked]
>>You have the power of negation.
>

Damn you, Antimatter.  I believe you are correct. However, I am now
pointing my Big Blue thing at you and pressing the activate button.  It
spits out a name.

Your new name is "A Rat Mitten"

Now I herebey create a trinket known as Antimatter.  It is an exact replica
of the player formerly known as Antimatter, except that it is made entirely
of Rat Mittens.  It has a value of A$5.

Mr. Nacho

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 00:42:21 -0900
From: Phil Ackley <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Blue Thing 

>I wrote:
>> I am burying snowgod, and revealing no portion of the map to anyone.
>>
>> #transfer Antimatter, buried : snowgod : tactical lexical warfare
>
>On second thought, I will reveal that among the requirements to find
>snowgod is
>that I must be named Antimatter at the time. Another is that it can't be
>retrieved under coercion, so there.
>-------------------------------
>Antimatter * [email-masked]
>You have the power of negation.

Well, we might be in trouble.  The contract that I am already bound to
requires mne to donate Antimatter to the mueseum if you don't give me
snowgod and A$1000.  I drew it up yesterday.  I am bound to it.  I own
Antimatter.  I cannot commit a crime.  You better have left yourself an
escape clause.

Mr. Nachodude

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 00:46:47 -0900
From: Phil Ackley <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: End of the Rock Sale 

>Obviously there is little market in Acka for rocks these days.
>More than 6 weeks of rock-bottom prices didn't result in many rocks
>being sold besides the ones I bought myself.  Who says everybody
>wants a rock to wind a string around?
>
>I am setting the price that my Vending Machine sells Rocks to Wind a
>String Around for, to be A$6.
>
>/dev/joe
>The only player to attempt to scam a win twice using Prosthetic Foreheads.
>The only player to succeed once. :-)

Lower it to A$1 and I can garuntee you a surplus of sales.  After all, what
have you got to lose.  Low overhead means maximum profits!

Mr. Nacho.
Volume Volume Volume

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 00:45:33 -0900
From: Phil Ackley <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Enfants (was RFC: Renaisance etc..) 

>>As most of us are probably aware, this transfer fails.  snowgod is a
>>trinket, and to the best of my knowledge cannot own anything.
>
>Geez, really? Oh! Ah! Well... Ooops.
>Thanks for your kind assistance Vynd.
>
>Calvin "most of us" Hobbes
>who used the same name Mr Nacho used for his transfer

Thanks CnH.  All you have to do is *say* you are transfering it to mr
nacho.  The bot still knows me as snowgod though, so that part is alright.

Mr. Nacho

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 00:55:37 -0800
From: "Ross Morgan-Linial" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Blue Thing

Phil Ackley <[email-masked]> wrote:
> >I wrote:
> >> I am burying snowgod, and revealing no portion of the map to anyone.
> >>
> >> #transfer Antimatter, buried : snowgod : tactical lexical warfare
> >
> >On second thought, I will reveal that among the requirements to find
> >snowgod is
> >that I must be named Antimatter at the time. Another is that it can't be
> >retrieved under coercion, so there.
> >-------------------------------
> >Antimatter * [email-masked]
> >You have the power of negation.
> 
> Well, we might be in trouble.  The contract that I am already bound to
> requires mne to donate Antimatter to the mueseum if you don't give me
> snowgod and A$1000.  I drew it up yesterday.  I am bound to it.  I own
> Antimatter.  I cannot commit a crime.  You better have left yourself an
> escape clause.

Nope. I don't believe in escape clauses; they leave me open to coercion. Nobody 
will retrieve snowgod until I am named Antimatter again. After that, well, 
we'll see.

Oh... I don't _have_ A$1000 to fulfil your contract, anyways. The acrobot is 
incorrect (mohammed apparently increased everyone's balance by A$1000 to stop 
failure of tammany bribes).

I'm sure you'll think of something. Frankly, I probably mind being stuck with a 
permanent name change less than you do.
- -------------------------------
Antimatter * [email-masked]
You have the power of negation.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 01:03:28 -0800
From: "Ross Morgan-Linial" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Blue Thing

Phil Ackley <[email-masked]> wrote:
> "If within 5 days of the signing of this contractI do not recieve the
> trinket known as snowgod and A$1000 from the player formerly known as
> Antimatter, and at the time of the signing of this contract known as R2D2,
> I will donate the trinket known as Antimatter to the museum.
>
> "And now I sign in.

First, no such player exists (I was certainly not named R2D2 at the time to the 
signing of the contract), so I certainly can't pay you (not that I could 
anyways, since I don't have either snowgod or A$1000). Why don't you just 
destroy the trinket called Antimatter, and we can talk? :-)
- -------------------------------
Antimatter * [email-masked]
You have the power of negation.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 01:16:57 -0800
From: "Ross Morgan-Linial" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Blue Thing

Phil Ackley <[email-masked]> wrote:
> Damn you, Antimatter.  I believe you are correct. However, I am now
> pointing my Big Blue thing at you and pressing the activate button.  It
> spits out a name.
> 
> Your new name is "A Rat Mitten"
> 
> Now I herebey create a trinket known as Antimatter.  It is an exact replica
> of the player formerly known as Antimatter, except that it is made entirely
> of Rat Mittens.  It has a value of A$5.

I am changing my name to... hmmm.... "Antimatter was here".
- -------------------------------
Antimatter * [email-masked]
You have the power of negation.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 08:02:45 -0400 (EDT)
From: "A.K.A. TheWiz" <[email-masked]>
Subject: RE: Acka: Uniqueness

>Okay, I stand corrected.
>
>1) I still think 2024 is overkill, but in light of recent events I
>   could be convinced that overkill is necessary.
>
>2) If anyone lets Red Barn have access to a The Really Big Blue Thing
>   That Doesn't Do Too Much, Really, they will regret it.
>
>breadbox

  BwaHaHa!

- -Red Barn

____________________________________________________________________________
|The Mauve Baron|  Beep  [email-masked] * http://www.bergen.org/~dankna|
|---------------|  Blip  |-------------------------------------------------|
|   Dan Knapp   |  Bonk  |     This notice copyright (C)1997 Dan Knapp     |
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 08:09:57 -0400 (EDT)
From: "A.K.A. TheWiz" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Wanted To Buy

>Needed:
>
>One good inventor with a penchant for mischief.  Need a blueprint drawn up,
>and a gadget created.  Will cover expenses.
>
>Mr. Nacho

  I'd just like to take this opportunity to remind you all that Red Barn
as Mad Scientist would do much to derich your everyday complacency...

- -Red Barn

____________________________________________________________________________
|The Mauve Baron|  Beep  [email-masked] * http://www.bergen.org/~dankna|
|---------------|  Blip  |-------------------------------------------------|
|   Dan Knapp   |  Bonk  |     This notice copyright (C)1997 Dan Knapp     |
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 08:29:11 -0400 (EDT)
From: "A.K.A. TheWiz" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Blue Thing

>Damn you, Antimatter.  I believe you are correct. However, I am now
>pointing my Big Blue thing at you and pressing the activate button.  It
>spits out a name.
>
>Your new name is "A Rat Mitten"
>
>Now I herebey create a trinket known as Antimatter.  It is an exact replica
>of the player formerly known as Antimatter, except that it is made entirely
>of Rat Mittens.  It has a value of A$5.

  Ah, snownacho... could you see your way clear to renaming our good
friend Mine alka?

- -Red Barn

____________________________________________________________________________
|The Mauve Baron|  Beep  [email-masked] * http://www.bergen.org/~dankna|
|---------------|  Blip  |-------------------------------------------------|
|   Dan Knapp   |  Bonk  |     This notice copyright (C)1997 Dan Knapp     |
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 09:59:24 -0500 (CDT)
From: "Joseph W. DeVincentis" <devjoe>
Subject: Acka: Vulcan Actions

Attempted Vulcan Actions:
Vulcan builds a Bonus Vote Add-On in its Secret Laboratory.
Vulcan offers to give that Bonus-Vote Add-On to /dev/joe.

I approve of these actions.
They will occur when ThinMan approves them.

/dev/joe

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 10:35:02 -0500
From: "Bollinger, John C." <[email-masked]>
Subject: RE: Acka: Vulcan Actions

> Attempted Vulcan Actions:
> Vulcan builds a Bonus Vote Add-On in its Secret Laboratory.
> Vulcan offers to give that Bonus-Vote Add-On to /dev/joe.
> 
I approve of these actions.

ThinMan

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 11:39:45 -0500 (CDT)
From: "Joseph W. DeVincentis" <devjoe>
Subject: Re: Acka: Vulcan Actions

ThinMan wrote:
> > Attempted Vulcan Actions:
> > Vulcan builds a Bonus Vote Add-On in its Secret Laboratory.
> > Vulcan offers to give that Bonus-Vote Add-On to /dev/joe.

> I approve of these actions.

At the time ThinMan posted this, the actions occurred.
I accept the Bonus Vote Add-On from Vulcan.

I am then strapping my Bonus Vote Add-On to my Vending Machine.
Buy bonus votes at my Vending Machine!

#award /dev/joe: +1 Bonus Vote Add-On: from vulcan's secret lab, now strapped

/dev/joe

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 13:03:11 -0400 (EDT)
From: mr cwm <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: is' belly unmoved

is
mr cwm, editor, publisher, man-about-town

In a move believed unprecedented in the annals of Ackanomian journalism,
and with one eye fixed firmly on the calender, is today publishes this
statement, which is untrue.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 13:03:35 -0400 (EDT)
From: mr cwm <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Call for Correction

An Open Letter to the Publisher of is

All right.  I've just about had it with you jokers at is.  I am repelled
by the abhorrant untruth published in your May 29 issue, and request a
correction. 

- -mr cwm
 Outraged Ackanomian

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 13:03:52 -0400 (EDT)
From: mr cwm <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Correction Refusal

To:   mr cwm, Outraged Ackanomian
From: mr cwm, Publisher of is

Ha!  Don't make me laugh.  is is mine, and you can't tell me what to
print.  I refuse to publish a correction. 

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 12:49:08 -0500
From: "Bollinger, John C." <[email-masked]>
Subject: RE: Acka: Correction Refusal

> To:   mr cwm, Outraged Ackanomian
> From: mr cwm, Publisher of is
> 
> Ha!  Don't make me laugh.  is is mine, and you can't tell me what to
> print.  I refuse to publish a correction. 
> 
I can just smell the CFJ coming.  I will therefore point out right now
that although it is a Crime to perform an illegal action, it is not
necessarilly illegal to commit a Crime.  (Oddly enough.)  Go ahead and
bait the Goose if you want, but don't be surprised when she actually
comes to call.

ThinMan

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 14:26:18 -0600 (MDT)
From: Aaron Humphrey <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Acid Rain Dance

After a couple of days poring over the Codex of Kra, and the segments
translated by my distinguished predecessor in office, I believe that I now
know how the Acid Rain Dance can be performed.  (I don't have time for a
full translation right now, but I will post a few relevant segments from
the Codex in a little while.)

Rooting around in the mess that is Tamson House, I find a flashlight.  A
bit small, but hopefully it will do.  ("Shining my flashlight on the moon,"
I think, but of course Ackanomic has no moon.)  The nearest kaa of open
land is the former home of the criminal Eponimondas, to the "southeast",
but something a bit more central would be in order.  Briefly I consider the
roof of the Senate, but eventually I decide that the former site of the
"Lair of the Pink Bimbo"(interesting...)would be the best.

I make my way slowly, on suckered feet.  Of course, these won't do for
dancing, will they?  As I make my way, I peer upward.  I haven't been here
long enough to know what the sky usually looks like, but I do think it does
look different, like the Codex said it would.  It's a bit hard to make out,
but I think there is a sickly-looking cloud hovering high up in the sky.
There's my raw material.

As I arrive on the vacated kaa of land, I take one last look up at the sky.
I point my flashlight upwards, and after a minute or so I can see a
change in the cloud.  As I suspected, the cloud is in a metastable state
that requires only a small input of energy to disturb.  But as the cloud
returns to its normal state, I nod.  As the Codex said, the cloud will take
a more sustained bombardment, over many areas of its surface in an
irregular pattern, before it will finally be broken.

Well, that's what the dance is for, isn't it?

I start with a simple swaying, side to side, back and forth, around in a
circle, sweeping the flashlight in these patterns.  I weave a slow path
around, further out this time, lifting one suckered foot at a time.  But
this is still too slow; the cloud is still barely affected.  These suction
cups are just not going to work.

I take a deep breath and leap upwards with both feet.

For an instant, I am flying freely upwards.  But the Ancients designed
well, and I am jerked to a sudden stop as the chemical tether solidifies to
reattach me to the ground, if a little more tenuously than before.  Now I
have a little more freedom of movement, even if it becomes harder to
exercise because I have nothing to push off of.  But I can push against the
air, and spin on the tether, and gradually I get into a sort of swinging
spiral.  I increase the amplitude of my swing--almost 45 degrees now.  And
the flashlight is still pointing upwards at the cloud.

I feel like I am halfway between ground and sky, spinning in a dizzy
circle.  The flashlight's path is becoming more and more complex, as I
perturb my own motion and the angle of the beam.  The cloud is distinctly
darkening in some areas, lightening in others.  The talens are bringing
water vapour into contact with the chemicals from the cloud, in a greater
concentration now than they have been for a long time, or will be, either.

Soon the cloud is obscured by a downward-drifting haze.  The Acid Rain has
started to fall.

And here I am, still spinning on the end of my tether.  Now what the
hell do I do?  Wait for some kind soul to rescue me, I suppose.  And
hopefully soon I'll know if what I just did was legal or not, but I
feel secure in the thought that I did the right thing.

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.terranet.ab.ca/~aaron/)
Song In My Head--Madonna:Rain
Current Book--Louis Lamour:Utah Blaine
'I've got a full gas of tankoline and four good New Year tires.'

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 21:31:52 +0000
From: "Bascule" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Blue Thing

> Reply-to:      [email-masked]
> Date:          Thu, 29 May 1997 08:29:11 -0400 (EDT)
> >Now I herebey create a trinket known as Antimatter.  It is an exact 
replica
> >of the player formerly known as Antimatter, except that it is made entirely
> >of Rat Mittens.  It has a value of A$5.
> 
>   Ah, snownacho... could you see your way clear to renaming our good
> friend Mine alka?
> 
> -Red Barn

The Blue Thing will break if he tries.

Bascule 

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 19:23:58 -0400
From: Dan Knapp (A.K.A. TheWiz) <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Blue Thing 

> >   Ah, snownacho... could you see your way clear to renaming our good
> > friend Mine alka?

> The Blue Thing will break if he tries.

  Have to wait, then :>

- -Red Barn

____________________________________________________________________________
|The Mauve Baron|  Beep  [email-masked] * http://www.bergen.org/~dankna|
|---------------|  Blip  |-------------------------------------------------|
|   Dan Knapp   |  Bonk  |     This notice copyright (C)1997 Dan Knapp     |
- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 20:36:54 -0500 (CDT)
From: Jason Orendorff <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Shortness and modesty

On 28 May 1997 [email-masked] wrote:

> IN regard to the recent proposal involving shortness and modesty:
> 
> It is actually easier for a non-modest proposal to be short rather than
> a modest one.  A non-modest proposal need not use part of its five-line
> allotment for the words, "This is a modest proposal."
	I don't think a modest proposal has to, either; the shortness
thing specifies "in the body of" and the modesty sticker goes in the
"preface".

- -- 
Mohammed
A lone intellectual taxi driver from West Virginia, a sweet mutant parrot,
and a single lawyer joined forces to fight thirty nuns from another
planet.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 20:37:46 -0500 (CDT)
From: Jason Orendorff <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Wanted To Buy

On Wed, 28 May 1997, Phil Ackley wrote:
> Needed:
> 
> One good inventor with a penchant for mischief.  Need a blueprint drawn up,
> and a gadget created.  Will cover expenses.
	I'll do what I can.  What do you need?

- -- 
Mohammed
Inventor

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 20:49:07 -0500 (CDT)
From: Jason Orendorff <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Enfants (was RFC: Renaisance etc..)

re:  CNH giving Marbles to snowgod
> As most of us are probably aware, this transfer fails.  snowgod is a
> trinket, and to the best of my knowledge cannot own anything.
>                              - Vynd

You are right, but for the wrong reason.  Trinkets can own things, but
CNH cannot give anything to snowgod because snowgod is neither a
Player nor an Organization.

- -- 
Mohammed
Save a trio of sourfaced taxi drivers!

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 21:04:35 -0500 (CDT)
From: Jason Orendorff <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Blue Thing

On Thu, 29 May 1997, Ross Morgan-Linial wrote:
> I am changing my name to... hmmm.... "Antimatter was here".
	This approach won't necessarily work considering Mr. Nacho is
the Registrar.

- -- 
Mohammed
A sole slow bossy anarchist blind hippie saved a rocking horse from
boredom.

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 20:05:37 -0600 (MDT)
From: Aaron Humphrey <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Blue Thing

> On Thu, 29 May 1997, Ross Morgan-Linial wrote:
> > I am changing my name to... hmmm.... "Antimatter was here".

> 	This approach won't necessarily work considering Mr. Nacho is
> the Registrar.

On the other hand, I would consider that a Registrar who would allow
personal considerations to get in the way of eir duty is asking for
impeachment.  IMHO.

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.terranet.ab.ca/~aaron/)
Current Album--Laurie Anderson:United States Live
Current Book--Louis Lamour:Utah Blaine
'Beat me up, Scotty.'

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 29 May 1997 21:21:36 -0500 (CDT)
From: Jason Orendorff <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Decoys for the Parka

On Wed, 28 May 1997, **Alexandre Muniz wrote:

> I am creating 498 trinkets, named Inky Bloater Decoy 1-498, each worth 1 
> A$.
> The description of each:
> It looks just like the Inky Bloater, except that it is made of cheap 
> black plastic.
> 
> I'm not sure how to give this to the bot.

Here's how I'm going to do this for now:

#trinket two-star : Inky Bloater Decoys : 498 : actually many \
	trinkets (28 May 1997)

I hope you're not planning to give them out as party favors or
anything, but let's bang my head against that wall when we come to it.

- -- 
Mohammed
Thirty vampires went wildly out of control.

------------------------------

End of Ackanomic Digest V2 #102
*******************************