Subject: Ackanomic Digest V1 #259
From: [email-masked] (Ackanomic Digest)
To: ackanomic-digest

Ackanomic Digest     Wednesday, September 25 1996     Volume 01 : Number 259

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Mon, 23 Sep 1996 22:40:48 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Michael J. Thomas" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Misc: What Phoebe Says

I'm very worried, players.  I was wandering around my house,
recently redesigned into a lovely hexagonal-shape, perfectly
suited for playign Cosmic Encounters in, when I did spot a
lovely little matchbox, red and blue, if a bit battered.  I
opened it up, and saw, to my delight, that lovely little
nanotech wonder, Phoebe the Steel Flea.  Upon the opening
of the box, she did say to me...

"Worry not about points and money,
Spend your time creating fun.
Enjoy the game and smile some more,
Bring good cheer to everyone.

Quibble not over minor flaws,
Players aren't perfect, goodness forfend.
Praise good work, encourage good times,
And may Ackanomic's cycles never end!"

I was in awe of the little nanotech Flea.  Housed in such a 
small little body, it held wisdom and beauty of the ages.

However, that was several days ago, and I have not seen her
since.  I do recall seeing summat of a note saying that some
felon had taken poor Phoebe for ransom.  Whatever shall we do?

fnord

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 01:31:47 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Official

Latest stuff list:

1) Magic Potato needs to be reassigned (remember, Malenkai's odds 
trebled)

2) Dagny needs her starting cash.

3) The Supreme Court needs to penalize Habeous Corpus 1-10 points for
CFJ 269.

4) The Financier and Clerk of the Court still need to sort out the
tardiness penalties for the Supreme Court (ThinMan needs to get back
to me :))

5) The nomination period for GamesMaster is over.

6) I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I updated the player
money balances on the Speaker page with the end of cycle money, assuming
CFJ 282 TRUE.  I have also updated the balances to the minute, except
for what depends on 3 and 4 above.

I added newspapers as an entity on the page.  If anyone who owns a 
newspaper would like a link to some content on some other page from that
newspaper, let me know.  I still have to add Prosthetic Forehead links,
and other entity links.

I also put Robin Hood as the Gnome Buddy, as he was the last one, I 
believe.  He may remain so forever.

7) I have updated, and removed the offensive content from, the CotC page.

Malenkai
Speaker
Clerk of the Courts
Assistant to the Financier
Gnome Killer

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 01:35:48 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Phoebe (Niccolo)

Michael J. Thomas wrote:

> "Worry not about points and money,
> Spend your time creating fun.
> Enjoy the game and smile some more,
> Bring good cheer to everyone.
> 
> Quibble not over minor flaws,
> Players aren't perfect, goodness forfend.
> Praise good work, encourage good times,
> And may Ackanomic's cycles never end!"

Well, if the Underworld lets Commission d'Arts pass, I would 
think this would be a good candidate.

In any case, the kidnapping nonwithstanding, Niccolo Flychuck
has been fortunate to find Phoebe's Matchbox.

Malenkai
Officer in charge of random things

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 00:53:42 -0500 (CDT)
From: "Joseph W. DeVincentis" <devjoe>
Subject: Re: Acka: Misc: What Phoebe Says

fnord wrote:
> I'm very worried, players.  I was wandering around my house,
> recently redesigned into a lovely hexagonal-shape, perfectly
> suited for playign Cosmic Encounters in, when I did spot a
> lovely little matchbox, red and blue, if a bit battered. 
 [...]

This message was dated 22:40 PDT (i.e., 01:40 EDT the following day)
and Malenkai's response was marked 01:35 EDT.  Upon checking headers,
it seems the clock on fnord's computer (or his ISP's computer, or
whatever) is at least 20 minutes fast.

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 09:01:35 +0200 (EET)
From: Uri Bruck <[email-masked]>
Subject: acka:registrar - Magic Potato

The bearer of the Magic Potato is mr cwm

Niccolo Flychuck

Registrar

Sorry - I guess the holiday diet clouded my mind

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 23 Sep 1996 23:11:45 -0800 (AKDT)
From: "Phillip R. Ackley" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: acka:registrar - Magic Potato

> 
> Sorry - I guess the holiday diet clouded my mind
> 
I can certainly vouch that!

snowgod
blundering and no longer fasting!

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 08:49:10 -0500 (CDT)
From: robert gene shimmin <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: *ping*

Today is Tuesday, the 24th day of September, in the Year of Our Lord 
1996, and the Machine That Goes *ping* Has Gone *ping* today.  Since I 
have been scholar, the Machine has gone *ping* 1 times.

Guy Fawkes
Scholar of *ping*

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 16:28:29 +0200 (MET DST)
From: Klaus Amann <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: *ping*

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 12:24:27 -0400 (EDT)
From: IdiotBoy <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Financial

On Tue, 24 Sep 1996, Malenkai wrote:

> I am giving A$30 to IdiotBoy for goods to be delivered.
> 
> Malenkai
> Gnome killer
> 
Not sure if I have to, but I ack this.

IB
- --
IdiotBoy, as always, dumber than a box of hammers.
[email-masked]

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 13:45:55 -0400 (EDT)
From: mr cwm <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: acka:registrar - Magic Potato

Considering the rate at which I submit proposals, I am remarkably
fortunate to have an opportunity to see the Magic Potato in action.

- -mr cwm
 wearing a Silly Vacation Hat

On Tue, 24 Sep 1996, Niccolo Flychuck wrote:

>
>The bearer of the Magic Potato is mr cwm
>
>Niccolo Flychuck
>
>Registrar
>
>Sorry - I guess the holiday diet clouded my mind
>
>
>
>

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 13:56:48 -0500 (CDT)
From: robert gene shimmin <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: query

Anyone can answer this if they know the answer, but it's especially aimed 
at Wayne.

There are contingencies for the filling of the duties of almost every 
officer should that officer be unable to fulfill his duties.

However, in the case of the Tabulator, is there any way for the Acting 
Tabulator or Count Tabula to retrieve any votes that were cast via 
nomicbot before the Tabulator's departure?

I tried, but I couldn't quite squeeze a paradox win CFJ out of this -- 
it's hard to work it out when the entity you're dealing with is 
non-legislated -- so now I realize it's not a paradox but it is a bit of 
a potential difficulty.

Any ideas?

Guy Fawkes

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 96 15:00:22 -0400
From: this is not a name <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Official: GamesMaster

The nomination period for GamesMaster has ended. The volunteers are:

Niccolo Flychuck

The new GamesMaster is Niccolo Flychuck.

tinan

- --      Mike Epstein            "Japan is an important ally of ours. 
    [email-masked]         Japan and the United States of the 
   [email-masked]        Western industrialized capacity, 60
http://www.bozosoft.com/mike/    percent of the GNP, two countries.
                                 That's a statement in and of itself."
                                                        --Dan Quayle

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 96 15:37:54 EDT 
From: [email-masked] ()
Subject: Re: Acka: query

] However, in the case of the Tabulator, is there any way for the Acting 
] Tabulator or Count Tabula to retrieve any votes that were cast via 
] nomicbot before the Tabulator's departure?

When I went on vacation 6 months ago, i set up a special command
so that the Speaker (as we didn't have an Assistant Tab) could
retrieve the votes cast by players.

Wayne

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 19:14:49 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Malenkai's Loophole Service

*************************************************
Introducing Acka's First Full Service Law Firm !!

Malenkai'S Loophole Service
*************************************************

Have you been injured in a Loophole Surfing accident?

Is some Scammer out of control?

Do YOU want to pull off the scam of the century, or win
by paradox?  Planning that special coup?

WERE HERE TO HELP !!

Our managing partner has been around forever, and knows the
byzantine rules and CFJ archives like no other!  Qualifications
include being Acka's first Supreme Court Justice, Bronze Torch
holder, Gaol and Criminal Justice System architect, winner
by paradox, reformed Loophole Surfer, and more!

Need some eggs planted in your rules, we've done that.  Need
eggs cleaned out of your proposals, we've done that.

Don't get stuck with that Chartreuse Goose!!  Who needs that?
Run your paradox CFJs past Malenkai's Loophole Service for a
little pre-submission tightening of the statement or reasoning!

We'll cleanse or add loopholes, your choice!

Our services include:

a) pre-submission CFJ judgement.  We'll offer full judgement of your
CFJ before it is submitted.  We'll also make improvements to the
reasoning or statement.

b) RFC Loophole Surfing.  We'll surf your RFC for scams and loopholes
as if it is an accepted rule change.  We'll point out all we find, so
you can remove them, or leave them, at your discretion.

c) Scam planning.  We'll make suggestions as to what eggs you can plant
in your RFCs and proposals now, for future scamming.  We'll also check
your proposed scam for tightness and flaws.

d) Loophole removal.  Got that nasty loophole you think you've discovered,
but can't seem to find the fix, but certainly don't want to go public
with it?  Our legal wizards will show you how to remove it, all 
in the strictest privacy.

e) Gaol Avoidance Service.  We're running a special on this one now.
See us quick, for a small fee, well keep you out of Gaol, at no real
inconvienence to you!

f) One stop Coup planning.

All services rendered in the strictest of confidence.  Special discounts
for large organizations and institutions (you know whu you are :)).

Fee schedule
- ------------
Adding loopholes or scamming:
        A$75 per hour
Removing loopholes, RFC screening, or pre submission CFJ judgement:
	A$25 per hour
Gaol avoidance (on special NOW!)
	A$25 per hour

One hour minimum.  Retainer deals also available.  Not affiliated with
any religious or political organization.

Malenkai's Loophole Service
(in good fun)

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 20:50:59 -0400 (EDT)
From: IdiotBoy <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Malenkai's Loophole Service

On Tue, 24 Sep 1996, Malenkai wrote:

> Gaol avoidance (on special NOW!)
> 	A$25 per hour
> 
I'd pay A$25 for a get out of Gaol free card, or the equivalent.  Will pay
AFTER the fact.

> One hour minimum.  Retainer deals also available.  Not affiliated with
> any religious or political organization.
> 
> Malenkai's Loophole Service
> (in good fun)
> 
BTW, this law firm thing is a great idea.  I think you could use a good
advertising contract with snowgod.  I've been quite pleased with my results.
I doubled my subscribership just today!  

Still time for all you kids to pick up your subscriptions to the Hot Tips
Newsletter.  Next issue comes out Sunday.  I won't be able to take orders in
Gaol, so get 'em soon!

IB
- --
IdiotBoy, as always, dumber than a box of hammers.
[email-masked]

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 22:33:36 -0400 (EDT)
From: IdiotBoy <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka:  CowTown Bound!

I'm going down to Cow Town, Cow's a friend to me.
Live's beneath the ocean, that's where I'll be.
Beneath the waves, the waves, and that's where I will be.
I'm going to see the Cow beneath the sea.

IB
Fugitive
- --
IdiotBoy, as always, dumber than a box of hammers.
[email-masked]

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 22:32:12 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: scorekeeper

mr cwm wrote:
> 
> To:   CotC Malenkai
> From: Justice mr cwm, wearing a Silly Vacation Hat
> 
> The Supreme Court, nostalgically composed of Justice mr cwm and Acting
> Justice ThinMan, in a flurry of activity unprecedented in recent days,
> hereby penalizes Habeous Corpous, the Original Judge of CFJ 269, one
> point.

The final scores of the previous cycle should be updated per this, as
it is within the 14 day statue of limitations.  Also, A$1 shall be
deducted from his account.

Malenkai
CotC/AttF

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 22:51:17 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Ackanomic: Proposal 1269

[email-masked] wrote:
> 
> Proposal 1269 - Sun Sep 22 20:32:15 EDT 1996
> Newton, Apples, and Parties
> Niccolo Flychuck  (Uri Bruck)
> 
> A proposal to create a rule entitled "Newton, Apples, and Parties" which
> contains the following text:

> {{The first Tuesday after this proposal has been accepted, will be the
> first Tuesday on which Swingers receive points according to this rule.}}

Is this going to work?  The clause in {{}} will only hold sway when
the rule change is publically knowable, and at no other time, because
it will be gone.

I guess we'll find out.  It might be one of those facts that the Speaker
has to keep track of.

Malenkai

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 22:55:16 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Ackanomic: Proposal 1270

[email-masked] wrote:
> 
> Proposal 1270 - Sun Sep 22 20:51:45 EDT 1996
> Handicapping and Glory
> Guy Fawkes  (Robert Shimmin)

> Amend R666, section i) to read:
> 
> If this causes a player's score to be negative, that player is a Victory                                                  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> Eggplant is created in that player's possession.

Geez, I'd hate to be turned into a Victory Eggplant, should I ever be
fortunate enough to win again :)

Malenkai
Is an eggplant a fruit or a vegetable?

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 23:24:59 -0400
From: Malenkai <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: CFJ 299 (Calvin N Hobbes)

Calvin N Hobbes has been chosen, and has 3 days to accept/decline.

Clerk of the Courts
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------
Call For Judgement 299
  Subject: Personally Glorious Paradox
Initiator: Guy Fawkes
    Judge: Calvin N Hobbes (selected Sep 24, 1996, 23:28h EDT)
Judgement:

Statement:

The legality of omitting a rule's originator's name from the
official copy of the official rules, if that rule was created before Rule
682 and the originator is unknown, cannot be determined with finality.

Guy Fawkes's Reasoning: 

If this CFJ receives a final verdict of TRUE, Guy Fawkes will
win the cycle in accordance with R219.

Rule 682 -- "For Personal Glory..." (excerpts)

"a) The official copy of the official rules should include with the text
of each rule the name of the originator of the rule and the date the rule
was enacted.

a)1) The originator's name should appear just below the title of the
proposal and before the text of the proposal.

[...]

c) The requirements in (a) and (c) do not have to apply to rules created
before the enactment of this rule if such data is not known."

To properly understand this, we must examine the meaning of "do not have
to apply."  IMO, it means that under those circumstances, the
requirements are *optional* -- it is legal to follow them; it is also
legal to ignore them.  This is not a paradox by itself.  Instead of one
action being legal and illegal, it merely creates a situation where two
opposite actions are both legal.

However, section c) is self-referential -- The requirements in (a) and
(c) do not have to apply to rules created before...

Therefore, if the conditions and of being created befre R682 and being of
unknown originator are true, sections (a) and (c) are optional.

There is no problem with (a) being optional.

If (c), however, is optional, a paradox arises.  It becomes legal for the
requirements of (a) to be relaxed, which is the case of the option of (c)
being in effect; it is equally legal for the requirements of (a) to be
enforced, which is the case of the of (c) not being in effect -- in this
case, it is illegal to omit the originator's name.

Thus, (c)'s optional nature causes two equally valid game-states to
exist; one in which the originator's name on an early rule where it is
unknown must be included anyway, and one in which the originator's name
may be omitted in such circumstances -- one in which the omission is
illegal and one in which it is legal.

Paradox.

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 24 Sep 1996 23:46:11 +0000
From: [email-masked]
Subject: Re: Acka: CFJ 299 (Calvin N Hobbes)

> Clerk of the Courts
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Call For Judgement 299
>   Subject: Personally Glorious Paradox
> Initiator: Guy Fawkes
>     Judge: Calvin N Hobbes (selected Sep 24, 1996, 23:28h EDT)
> Judgement:
> 
> Statement:
> 
> The legality of omitting a rule's originator's name from the
> official copy of the official rules, if that rule was created before Rule
> 682 and the originator is unknown, cannot be determined with finality.
> 
> Guy Fawkes's Reasoning: 
> 
> If this CFJ receives a final verdict of TRUE, Guy Fawkes will
> win the cycle in accordance with R219.
> 
> Rule 682 -- "For Personal Glory..." (excerpts)
> 
> "a) The official copy of the official rules should include with the text
> of each rule the name of the originator of the rule and the date the rule
> was enacted.
> 
> a)1) The originator's name should appear just below the title of the
> proposal and before the text of the proposal.
> 
> [...]
> 
> c) The requirements in (a) and (c) do not have to apply to rules created
> before the enactment of this rule if such data is not known."
> 
> To properly understand this, we must examine the meaning of "do not have
> to apply."  IMO, it means that under those circumstances, the
> requirements are *optional* -- it is legal to follow them; it is also
> legal to ignore them.  This is not a paradox by itself.  Instead of one
> action being legal and illegal, it merely creates a situation where two
> opposite actions are both legal.
> 
> However, section c) is self-referential -- The requirements in (a) and
> (c) do not have to apply to rules created before...
> 
> Therefore, if the conditions and of being created befre R682 and being of
> unknown originator are true, sections (a) and (c) are optional.
> 
> There is no problem with (a) being optional.
> 
> If (c), however, is optional, a paradox arises.  It becomes legal for the
> requirements of (a) to be relaxed, which is the case of the option of (c)
> being in effect; it is equally legal for the requirements of (a) to be
> enforced, which is the case of the of (c) not being in effect -- in this
> case, it is illegal to omit the originator's name.
> 
> Thus, (c)'s optional nature causes two equally valid game-states to
> exist; one in which the originator's name on an early rule where it is
> unknown must be included anyway, and one in which the originator's name
> may be omitted in such circumstances -- one in which the omission is
> illegal and one in which it is legal.
> 
> Paradox.
> 
> 

This loophole surfing crap has really gotten out of hand.  Play the 
game and quit looking for crock loopholes.  Especially these out of 
your puny little mind, got nothing better to do, memorizing the rules 
for loopholes, bogus attempts at a paradox win.  This CFJ gets the 
"Total Shit" award.  Who cares if rules pre-682 have an authors name. 
Get a life.

Techno
The UW will rule the land of Acka. Count on it.
"Don't learn the tricks of the trade, learn the trade."

------------------------------

End of Ackanomic Digest V1 #259
*******************************