Subject: acka-finance-digest V3 #76
From: [email-masked] (acka-finance-digest)
To: [email-masked]

acka-finance-digest       Wednesday, May 6 1998       Volume 03 : Number 076

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 09:31:23 -0400 (EDT)
From: [email-masked] (Aaron V. Humphrey)
Subject: Acka: Fin: AR-F (2)

I note that nobody asked _me_ to call an Auction Them Entities hearing,
which I would have done for a mere A$10 as specified by Rule 520.  But,
while I am still Financier, I'll do it anyway.

I hereby call an Auction Them Entities auction on whatever Ackanomic
Reserve seat is in the Treasury.  Minimum bid of A$30, just to save
time.  :-)

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/alfvaen/ )
Song In My Head--Tina Turner:One of The Living
Current Book--Barb Galler-Smith & Josh Langston:Druids
there's a hell of a good universe next door; let's go!  -- e e cummings

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 09:50:48 -0400 (EDT)
From: Eric Plumb <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Stripe

On Wed, 6 May 1998, Aaron V. Humphrey wrote:

> Well, phooey on youey.  If you didn't want to come, that's your own fault.
> I had lots of nice...holograms, that's it!  To go with the cardboard
> cutouts.  And it's all on videotape, which I'll sell copies of for A$10
> each.

I'll take one.  I offer Alfvaen A$10 for a videotape of TGW's very first
Silver Stripe ceremony.  These are going to be valuable.

- -Hubert

Last night I played poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four 
people died. 

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 09:55:17 -0400 (EDT)
From: Jonathan David Amery <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Stripe

On Wed, 6 May 1998, Eric Plumb wrote:

> On Wed, 6 May 1998, Aaron V. Humphrey wrote:
> 
> > Well, phooey on youey.  If you didn't want to come, that's your own fault.
> > I had lots of nice...holograms, that's it!  To go with the cardboard
> > cutouts.  And it's all on videotape, which I'll sell copies of for A$10
> > each.
> 
> I'll take one.  I offer Alfvaen A$10 for a videotape of TGW's very first
> Silver Stripe ceremony.  These are going to be valuable.
> 
 I'll take one too...

 I offer Alfvaen A$10 for a videotape of TGW's very first Silver Stripe
ceremony.

 H*bert.

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 10:03:56 -0400 (EDT)
From: JT <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Fin: AR-F (2)

On Wed, 6 May 1998, Aaron V. Humphrey wrote:

>I hereby call an Auction Them Entities auction on whatever Ackanomic
>Reserve seat is in the Treasury.  Minimum bid of A$30, just to save
>time.  :-)

I bid A$30.

[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[ Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.                  ]
[ It's hard to sieze the day when you must first grapple with the morning ]
[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 10:12:13 -0400 (EDT)
From: Mitchell Harding <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Fin: AR-F (2)

At 10:03 AM 5/6/98 -0400, you wrote:
>On Wed, 6 May 1998, Aaron V. Humphrey wrote:
>
>>I hereby call an Auction Them Entities auction on whatever Ackanomic
>>Reserve seat is in the Treasury.  Minimum bid of A$30, just to save
>>time.  :-)
>
>I bid A$30.

I bid A$70.

Robert Sevin

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 13:03:00 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Tom Walmsley" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Stripe

> > Well, phooey on youey.  If you didn't want to come, that's your own
fault.
> > I had lots of nice...holograms, that's it!  To go with the cardboard
> > cutouts.  And it's all on videotape, which I'll sell copies of for A$10
> > each.
> 
> I'll take one.  I offer Alfvaen A$10 for a videotape of TGW's very first
> Silver Stripe ceremony.  These are going to be valuable.

I'll take one too please, more for the sentimental value than monetary value.

TGW.

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 13:25:55 -0400 (EDT)
From: JT <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Stripe

Alfvaen wrote:
>I had lots of nice...holograms, that's it!  To go with the cardboard
>cutouts.  And it's all on videotape, which I'll sell copies of for A$10
>each.

I offer Alfvaen A$ 10 for a videotape of the ceremony as well.

- --JT
[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[ Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.                  ]
[ It's hard to sieze the day when you must first grapple with the morning ]
[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 13:46:51 -0400 (EDT)
From: John Frederic Mc Coy <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Stripe

On Wed, 6 May 1998, JT wrote:

> Alfvaen wrote:
> >I had lots of nice...holograms, that's it!  To go with the cardboard
> >cutouts.  And it's all on videotape, which I'll sell copies of for A$10
> >each.
> 
> I offer Alfvaen A$ 10 for a videotape of the ceremony as well.
> 
> --JT
> [-------------------------------------------------------------------------]
> [ Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.                  ]
> [ It's hard to sieze the day when you must first grapple with the morning ]
> [-------------------------------------------------------------------------]
> 

Wow, Alfvaen is getting rich of these things.  I mean, A$ 10 a piece!  it
just doesn't seem right....  Fortunately, I can help you folks out.  It
just so happens that I have acquired a tape of the ceremony, which I will
sell copies of for only A$5 a piece.  Thats right, only A$5!!!  What an
amazing deal!  Believe me, you'll be kicking yourself if you pass up your
chance at one of these valuable collector items, so get one today.
Remember, supplies are limited.

                                    - Vynd

[email-masked]

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 14:04:21 -0400 (EDT)
From: JT <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Stripe

On Wed, 6 May 1998, John Frederic Mc Coy wrote:
>Wow, Alfvaen is getting rich of these things.  I mean, A$ 10 a piece!  it
>just doesn't seem right....  Fortunately, I can help you folks out.  It
>just so happens that I have acquired a tape of the ceremony, which I will
>sell copies of for only A$5 a piece.  Thats right, only A$5!!!  What an
>amazing deal!  Believe me, you'll be kicking yourself if you pass up your
>chance at one of these valuable collector items, so get one today.
>Remember, supplies are limited.

Well, I'm certainly expecting Alfvaen's tapes to be of a quality commiserate
with the price (IE, a trinket worth A$10 :)

If their not, well, then I'll...... do something :)

- --JT
[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]
[ Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.                  ]
[ It's hard to sieze the day when you must first grapple with the morning ]
[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 17:41:36 -0400 (EDT)
From: Eric Plumb <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Stripe

On Wed, 6 May 1998, John Frederic Mc Coy wrote:

> Wow, Alfvaen is getting rich of these things.  I mean, A$ 10 a piece!  it
> just doesn't seem right....  Fortunately, I can help you folks out.  It
> just so happens that I have acquired a tape of the ceremony, which I will
> sell copies of for only A$5 a piece.  Thats right, only A$5!!!  What an
> amazing deal!  Believe me, you'll be kicking yourself if you pass up your
> chance at one of these valuable collector items, so get one today.
> Remember, supplies are limited.

You know.  I was going to keep this secret, but I happen to have secret
tapes of our own President and the Fat "Lewinsky" Lady in the back room of
the Monolith.  I couldn't afford an extra level, but those spy cameras
paid off handsomely.  If anyone wants one, they're going for the prime
rate of only A$250 a pop OBO.  A$800 for the originals, Slakko.

- -Hubert

I have not yet BEGUN to procrastinate!

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 18:07:55 -0400 (EDT)
From: Duncan Richer <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Stripe

On Wed, 6 May 1998, Eric Plumb wrote:

> On Wed, 6 May 1998, John Frederic Mc Coy wrote:
> 
> > Wow, Alfvaen is getting rich of these things.  I mean, A$ 10 a piece!  it
> > just doesn't seem right....  Fortunately, I can help you folks out.  It
> > just so happens that I have acquired a tape of the ceremony, which I will
> > sell copies of for only A$5 a piece.  Thats right, only A$5!!!  What an
> > amazing deal!  Believe me, you'll be kicking yourself if you pass up your
> > chance at one of these valuable collector items, so get one today.
> > Remember, supplies are limited.
> 
> You know.  I was going to keep this secret, but I happen to have secret
> tapes of our own President and the Fat "Lewinsky" Lady in the back room of
> the Monolith.  I couldn't afford an extra level, but those spy cameras
> paid off handsomely.  If anyone wants one, they're going for the prime
> rate of only A$250 a pop OBO.  A$800 for the originals, Slakko.

I create a trinket called "The Originals, aka Self-Monitoring Video Film,
live from the Monolith", valued at A$2, and with the description:

"These are the originals you wanted.  Now make sure that you get the Brass
Monkey back to Lady Olivia before midnight.  No doubt someone has been
taping these tapes in the hopes of selling them.  This should dissuade
them.  That is all."

I accept the offer from Hubert to trade The Originals, aka Self-Monitoring
Video Film, live from the Monolith for A$800.

I have asked Special Prosecutor Kenneth H'Starrbert to investigate these
alleged happenings.  I have no doubt that e will find out the truth, that
I have never been involved with Miss Lady in the Monolith, nor has she
been in the same Location as me at any time.  This is all a giant Vulcan
Wing conspiracy, but I'll take the money all the same.

Yours,
Slakko
I buy 3 kaa of land for A$1 each.
- -- 
Duncan C. "" Richer aka
Slakko (Lost) Warner - http://dcr24.quns.cam.ac.uk/ - Queens' College
Cambridge, 1st Year PhD(Pure Maths), CUDipSoc, CUSFS, CUSTS, CURS etc
Acka - President, Web-Harfer, RuneMaker, ChessUmpire, Map-Harfer

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 18:22:11 -0400 (EDT)
From: Eric Plumb <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Stripe

On Wed, 6 May 1998, Duncan Richer wrote:

> > You know.  I was going to keep this secret, but I happen to have secret
> > tapes of our own President and the Fat "Lewinsky" Lady in the back room of
> > the Monolith.  I couldn't afford an extra level, but those spy cameras
> > paid off handsomely.  If anyone wants one, they're going for the prime
> > rate of only A$250 a pop OBO.  A$800 for the originals, Slakko.
> 
> I accept the offer from Hubert to trade The Originals, aka Self-Monitoring
> Video Film, live from the Monolith for A$800.

Very funny.  Ha, ha.  You *still* don't have them, and now you NEVER WILL!

Note to Financier: E's kidding.  At least, he better be.  [ In other
words, the offer e claimed to accept was never made.  And even if it had
been, I'd never have taken those forgeries anyway. ]

- -Hubert

I have not yet BEGUN to procrastinate! 

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 19:38:23 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Gavin M. Doig" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

>I bid 333 A$.
>
Having looked at the P/E page, I bid 10000 A$.

Rex Mundi.

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 21:42:27 -0400 (EDT)
From: Towsner <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Ackan Reserve Financial Report

Stock Market News:

Assuming no futher announcements today, the following information will take
affect tomorrow:

	Current Value: 145.1
	Positivity Value:116.5
	Activity Value: 28.6

	Change Today -0.3
	Change in Positivity: +0.0
	Change in Activity: -0.3

	Activities Today: 10

Ackan News:
	The Stock Market dropped less than a point today as it entered the
fourth millenium.  Ackan Reserve Chair else says that "As soon as possible
I intend to adjust the market to fall a little."  Happy millenium from all
the staff of the Ackan Reserve.

Reserve News:
	The Ackan Reserve proposed today that instead of buying and selling
stocks directly to and from the Treasury, they will be bought from a
seperate pool to be managed by the Ackan Reserve.  Should people wish to
sell more stocks than the Reserve can afford, they will have to wait until
the Reserve requisitions more A$ from the Treasury.  Since the Reserve can
get more A$ at any time if directed to by the Executive Board, the effect
of the proposal would not be to prevent players from selling stocks, but to
slow them down in the event of a selling frenzy.

- --
The Ackan Reserve Financial Report
Published by the board of the Ackan Reserve
Coming daily since 1998

	else...if

		ELSE...IF

	Chair, Ackan Reserve

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 22:07:21 -0400 (EDT)
From: [email-masked] (Aaron V. Humphrey)
Subject: Re: Acka: Stripe

> Wow, Alfvaen is getting rich of these things.  I mean, A$ 10 a piece!  it
> just doesn't seem right....  Fortunately, I can help you folks out.  It
> just so happens that I have acquired a tape of the ceremony, which I will
> sell copies of for only A$5 a piece.  Thats right, only A$5!!!  What an
> amazing deal!  Believe me, you'll be kicking yourself if you pass up your
> chance at one of these valuable collector items, so get one today.
> Remember, supplies are limited.

As I'm sure you've all realized, this offer is fraudulent.  Vynd was not in
Tamson House at the time of the ceremony, and I challenge em to prove that
e had any videorecording equipment in my own House at the time.

It'll take me a little while to set up my video-copying equipment, but in
the next day or so(hopefully still during my term as Financier)I should
have copies ready for anyone who wants them.  (I'd appreciate suggestions
for creative labeling strategies, since I don't want another numerical
trinket array, and I can't label them by name since that would be Forgery,
so other ideas are welcomed.)

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/alfvaen/ )
Current Album--Third Eye Blind
Current Book--Barb Galler-Smith & Josh Langston:Druids
Don't you dare skid on my rainbow paper!

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 22:09:53 -0400 (EDT)
From: [email-masked] (Aaron V. Humphrey)
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> >I bid A$222.

> I bid 333 A$.

I bid A$371.

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/alfvaen/ )
Current Album--Third Eye Blind
Current Book--Barb Galler-Smith & Josh Langston:Druids
S is for Susan who perished of fits, T is for Titus who flew into bits.

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 22:20:55 -0400 (EDT)
From: [email-masked] (Aaron V. Humphrey)
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> > >I bid A$222.

> > I bid 333 A$.

> I bid A$371.

Which I feel very silly for doing, since Rex Mundi seems to have
disqualified emself.  Oh, well.  :-/  Won't be the first time.

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/alfvaen/ )
Current Album--Third Eye Blind
Current Book--Barb Galler-Smith & Josh Langston:Druids
Casting pearls before the water

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 23:10:25 -0400 (EDT)
From: [email-masked] (Aaron V. Humphrey)
Subject: Re: Acka: Stripe

> > > You know.  I was going to keep this secret, but I happen to have secret
> > > tapes of our own President and the Fat "Lewinsky" Lady in the back room of
> > > the Monolith.  I couldn't afford an extra level, but those spy cameras
> > > paid off handsomely.  If anyone wants one, they're going for the prime
> > > rate of only A$250 a pop OBO.  A$800 for the originals, Slakko.

> > I accept the offer from Hubert to trade The Originals, aka Self-Monitoring
> > Video Film, live from the Monolith for A$800.

> Very funny.  Ha, ha.  You *still* don't have them, and now you NEVER WILL!

> Note to Financier: E's kidding.  At least, he better be.  [ In other
> words, the offer e claimed to accept was never made.  And even if it had
> been, I'd never have taken those forgeries anyway. ]

I had no trouble parsing your sentence above, "A$800 for the originals,
Slakko", as follows:

"I hereby offer to give the originals to Slakko for A$800."

Part of that is probably due to context, but I'd be surprised to see a
Judge rule differently.

I don't think my "6" thing will work either, but it was fun.  :-)

- --
- --Alfvaen(Web page: http://www.telusplanet.net/public/alfvaen/ )
Current Album--Third Eye Blind
Current Book--Barb Galler-Smith & Josh Langston:Druids
Passionate kisses, like a spider's web, can lead to a fly's undoing.

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 06 May 1998 23:40:18 -0400 (EDT)
From: Eric Plumb <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Stripe

On Wed, 6 May 1998, Aaron V. Humphrey wrote:

> > > > paid off handsomely.  If anyone wants one, they're going for the prime
> > > > rate of only A$250 a pop OBO.  A$800 for the originals, Slakko.
> 
> I had no trouble parsing your sentence above, "A$800 for the originals,
> Slakko", as follows:
> 
> "I hereby offer to give the originals to Slakko for A$800."

Which is, of course, the way it was intended.  *That* offer still stands.

E attempted to interpret it as "I hereby offer to give A$800 to Slakko for
the originals." (The previous double-quote-delimited clause has no 
semantic meaning, is not a valid offer, and was provided solely as an
example), which is ludicrous.  Well, not really; the way it was phrased
would have made it somewhat ambiguous by itself, but in context it's
fine.  Then, in a typically Presidential manner, e attempted to forge
conflicting Evidence.  

> Part of that is probably due to context, but I'd be surprised to see a
> Judge rule differently.

I hope it won't come to that.  If it does, we may have to convict em for
lexical equivalence.

> I don't think my "6" thing will work either, but it was fun.  :-)

I was actually thinking the same thing, but was Huberted.  Ironic, no?

- -Hubert

There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't. 

------------------------------

End of acka-finance-digest V3 #76
*********************************