Subject: acka-finance-digest V3 #66
From: [email-masked] (acka-finance-digest)
To: [email-masked]

acka-finance-digest       Sunday, April 26 1998       Volume 03 : Number 066

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Date: Sun, 26 Apr 1998 21:24:35 -0400 (EDT)
From: Towsner <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Ackan Reserve Financial Report

Daily News:
	As if exhausted by yesterday's rise, the market sunk by less than
one point today, to 101.5.  Nontheless today was a busy day for many
people, such as the president of Shell#3 Mutual Funds, who is busily trying
to replace his staff, most of whom retired to a resort on the moon of
Oklahoma.  In other news, the Ackan Reserve said that it hopes to
subcontract its murders to the Independant Ackan.  if stated that, "We
estimate that there will be anywhere between 50 and 200 murders neccessary
to finish clearing the incompetents hired by my other head.  Among the
people scheduled for removal are the entire staff of the Committee for
Blame Reallocation and both its oversight committees.  The agreement is
under negotiation.

Rules and Regulations:
	The Reserve's Research Board was busy today, making a major reform
proposal to Ackanomic and releasing a new and possibly final draft of its
Internomic Trade Act.  The Board says it hopes to make a formal proposal to
Internomic by the middle of the week.
	Once again the Ackan Reserve urges all Ackans to vote FOR the
queued proposals which affect the Stock Market.

Stock Market Information:

Assuming no futher announcements today, the following information will take
affect tomorrow:

	Current Value: 101.5
	Positivity Value:73.1
	Activity Value: 28.4

	Change Today -0.6
	Change in Positivity: +0.0
	Change in Activity: -0.6

	Activities Today: 7

- --
The Ackan Reserve Financial Report
Published by the board of the Ackan Reserve
Coming daily since 1998

	else...if

		ELSE...IF

	Chair, Ackan Reserve

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End of acka-finance-digest V3 #66
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