Subject: acka-finance-digest V3 #49
From: [email-masked] (acka-finance-digest)
To: [email-masked]

acka-finance-digest      Wednesday, April 8 1998      Volume 03 : Number 049

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 02:33:07 -0400 (EDT)
From: Duncan Richer <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Fin: Too much of a good thing.

On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Towsner wrote:

> 	My problem with this is that stock holders already profit when the
> market goes up.  I'd rather that this be based on something else.

They don't profit any further in this case - it is just a device to put
some of those earnings back into cash automatically.

> 
> >This method has a real-world sort of model - the dividends come out of the
> >stock value, and they are related (presumably) to how well the company is
> >doing - a falling stock price means no dividend (as we can assume falling
> >stocks indicate the company is doing badly).
> 	That's not how I understand them as working.  As I understand it, a
> public corporation sets a dividend value per share, and adjusts it
> occasionally when it's making a lot of money or going broke.  And stocks
> often rise and fall for other reasons than how well the company is doing.

Yeah, but we have no idea how well the company is actually doing in this
case.

- -- 
Duncan C. "" Richer aka
Slakko (Lost) Warner - http://dcr24.quns.cam.ac.uk/ - Queens' College
Cambridge, 1st Year PhD(Pure Maths), CUDipSoc, CUSFS, CUSTS, CURS etc
Acka - President "Gumball" Web-Harfer RuneMaker ChessUmpire Map-Harfer

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 05:21:30 -0400 (EDT)
From: Hubert <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Fin: Too much of a good thing.

On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, David Scheidt wrote:

> On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Matt Miller wrote:
> 
> > 
> > In the long run, we are all dead. (It couldn't be avoided.  No, seriously,
> > it couldn't.)
> 
> Okay.  Enough lame humor.  Next person to make a bad pun gets thwapped
> with a Keyne!

The Keyne to my heart?

- -Hubert, whose .sig is even sillier and more offensive

For Sale: French Rifles: Never fired, only dropped once. 

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 05:31:58 -0400 (EDT)
From: Hubert <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:

> > The Good Ballot Stuffer I was building is now completed, and now I get to
> > auction _that_.  I'll set the starting bid at A$10.
> 
> I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.

And I the second, at A$11.

- -Hubert

For Sale: French Rifles: Never fired, only dropped once. 

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 05:47:00 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Joel Ricker" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:
> 
> > > The Good Ballot Stuffer I was building is now completed, and now I get to
> > > auction _that_.  I'll set the starting bid at A$10.
> > 
> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
> 
> And I the second, at A$11.
> 
> -Hubert

Third bid: A$14

- -Joe Java 

- -----------------------------------------------------------------
     Joel Ricker [] [email-masked] [] ICQ# 6244364
                The Imperial Emporer of ImpNom #28
         http://www.Geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/1047/
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
              That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
- -----------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 06:30:49 -0400 (EDT)
From: Hubert <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Joel Ricker wrote:

> Third bid: A$14

I bid A$17 on the Good Ballot Stuffer.

- -Hubert

Does Schroedinger's cat have 18 half-lives? 

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 06:33:08 -0400 (EDT)
From: [email-masked] (Micah Smukler)
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

>> On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:
>>
>> > > The Good Ballot Stuffer I was building is now completed, and now I get to
>> > > auction _that_.  I'll set the starting bid at A$10.
>> >
>> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
>>
>> And I the second, at A$11.
>>
>> -Hubert
>
>Third bid: A$14
>
A$21.

AtP

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 06:55:25 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Joel Ricker" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> >> On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:

> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
> >>
> >> And I the second, at A$11.
> >>
> >> -Hubert
> >
> >Third bid: A$14
> >
> A$21.

A$35

- - Joe Java

- -----------------------------------------------------------------
     Joel Ricker [] [email-masked] [] ICQ# 6244364
                The Imperial Emporer of ImpNom #28
         http://www.Geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/1047/
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
              That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
- -----------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 07:02:47 -0400 (EDT)
From: [email-masked] (Micah Smukler)
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

>> >> On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:
>
>> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
>> >>
>> >> And I the second, at A$11.
>> >>
>> >> -Hubert
>> >
>> >Third bid: A$14
>> >
>> A$21.
>
>A$35
>
A$42.

AtP

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 07:13:06 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Joel Ricker" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> >> >> On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:
> >
> >> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
> >> >>
> >> >> And I the second, at A$11.
> >> >>
> >> >> -Hubert
> >> >
> >> >Third bid: A$14
> >> >
> >> A$21.
> >
> >A$35
> >
> A$42.

A$50 

- -----------------------------------------------------------------
     Joel Ricker [] [email-masked] [] ICQ# 6244364
                The Imperial Emporer of ImpNom #28
         http://www.Geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/1047/
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
              That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
- -----------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 07:19:33 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Ian K." <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> >> The Good Ballot Stuffer I was building is now completed, and now I get to
> >> auction _that_.  I'll set the starting bid at A$10.
> >> >
> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
> >> And I the second, at A$11.
> >Third bid: A$14
> A$21.

Fourth bid, perhaps.

A$40.

I like Ballot Stuffers.

Koxvolio

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 07:20:36 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Ian K." <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> > >> >> On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:
> > >> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
> > >> >> And I the second, at A$11.
> > >> >Third bid: A$14
> > >> A$21.
> > >A$35
> > A$42.
> A$50 

Bah! A$80.

Koxvolio

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 07:20:57 -0400 (EDT)
From: [email-masked] (Micah Smukler)
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

>> >> >> On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:
>> >
>> >> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> And I the second, at A$11.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> -Hubert
>> >> >
>> >> >Third bid: A$14
>> >> >
>> >> A$21.
>> >
>> >A$35
>> >
>> A$42.
>
>A$50

A$57.

AtP

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 07:30:19 -0400 (EDT)
From: [email-masked] (Micah Smukler)
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

>> > >> >> On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:
>> > >> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
>> > >> >> And I the second, at A$11.
>> > >> >Third bid: A$14
>> > >> A$21.
>> > >A$35
>> > A$42.
>> A$50
>
>Bah! A$80.

A$93.

AtP

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 07:32:16 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Joel Ricker" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> > > >> >> On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:
> > > >> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
> > > >> >> And I the second, at A$11.
> > > >> >Third bid: A$14
> > > >> A$21.
> > > >A$35
> > > A$42.
> > A$50 
> Bah! A$80.

A$87

- - Joe Java

- -----------------------------------------------------------------
     Joel Ricker [] [email-masked] [] ICQ# 6244364
                The Imperial Emporer of ImpNom #28
         http://www.Geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/1047/
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
              That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
- -----------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 07:37:23 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Joel Ricker" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> Date:          Wed, 08 Apr 1998 07:30:19 -0400 (EDT)
> To:            [email-masked]
> From:          [email-masked] (Micah Smukler)
> Subject:       Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer
> Reply-to:      [email-masked]

> >> > >> >> On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:
> >> > >> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
> >> > >> >> And I the second, at A$11.
> >> > >> >Third bid: A$14
> >> > >> A$21.
> >> > >A$35
> >> > A$42.
> >> A$50
> >Bah! A$80.
> A$93.

A$123

- -- Joe Java 

- -----------------------------------------------------------------
     Joel Ricker [] [email-masked] [] ICQ# 6244364
                The Imperial Emporer of ImpNom #28
         http://www.Geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/1047/
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
              That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
- -----------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 07:44:17 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Ian K." <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> >> > >> >> On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:
> >> > >> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
> >> > >> >> And I the second, at A$11.
> >> > >> >Third bid: A$14
> >> > >> A$21.
> >> > >A$35
> >> > A$42.
> >> A$50
> >Bah! A$80.
> A$93.

A$120

Koxvolio  (I'm not having anyone stuffing my new evil ballot stuffer)

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 07:46:48 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Ian K." <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

I don't *believe* it!

> > >> > >> >> On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:
> > >> > >> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
> > >> > >> >> And I the second, at A$11.
> > >> > >> >Third bid: A$14
> > >> > >> A$21.
> > >> > >A$35
> > >> > A$42.
> > >> A$50
> > >Bah! A$80.
> > A$93.
> A$123

A$180

Koxvolio

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 07:56:35 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Joel Ricker" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> I don't *believe* it!

Believe it bub :-P

> > > >> > >> >> On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Tom Walmsley wrote:
> > > >> > >> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
> > > >> > >> >> And I the second, at A$11.
> > > >> > >> >Third bid: A$14
> > > >> > >> A$21.
> > > >> > >A$35
> > > >> > A$42.
> > > >> A$50
> > > >Bah! A$80.
> > > A$93.
> > A$123
> A$180

A$215

- -- Joe Java 

- -----------------------------------------------------------------
     Joel Ricker [] [email-masked] [] ICQ# 6244364
                The Imperial Emporer of ImpNom #28
         http://www.Geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/1047/
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
              That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
- -----------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 08:18:18 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Ian K." <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> > I don't *believe* it!
> 
> Believe it bub :-P

No! I won't believe it!
> 
> > > > >> > >> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
> > > > >> > >> >> And I the second, at A$11.
> > > > >> > >> >Third bid: A$14
> > > > >> > >> A$21.
> > > > >> > >A$35
> > > > >> > A$42.
> > > > >> A$50
> > > > >Bah! A$80.
> > > > A$93.
> > > A$123
> > A$180
> A$215

A$240.

Koxvolio.

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 08:37:27 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Joel Ricker" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> Date:          Wed, 08 Apr 1998 08:18:18 -0400 (EDT)
> From:          "Ian K." <[email-masked]>
> To:            [email-masked]
> Subject:       Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer
> Reply-to:      [email-masked]

> > > I don't *believe* it!
> > 
> > Believe it bub :-P
> 
> No! I won't believe it!

No... really you should!

> > 
> > > > > >> > >> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
> > > > > >> > >> >> And I the second, at A$11.
> > > > > >> > >> >Third bid: A$14
> > > > > >> > >> A$21.
> > > > > >> > >A$35
> > > > > >> > A$42.
> > > > > >> A$50
> > > > > >Bah! A$80.
> > > > > A$93.
> > > > A$123
> > > A$180
> > A$215
> A$240.

A$245 

- -----------------------------------------------------------------
     Joel Ricker [] [email-masked] [] ICQ# 6244364
                The Imperial Emporer of ImpNom #28
         http://www.Geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/1047/
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
              That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
- -----------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 08:47:17 -0400 (EDT)
From: Duncan Richer <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

On Wed, 8 Apr 1998, Joel Ricker wrote:

> > A$240.
> 
> A$245 

Sorry, not 10% above the previous high bid - therefore not valid.
- -- 
Duncan C. "" Richer aka
Slakko (Lost) Warner - http://dcr24.quns.cam.ac.uk/ - Queens' College
Cambridge, 1st Year PhD(Pure Maths), CUDipSoc, CUSFS, CUSTS, CURS etc
Acka - President "Gumball" Web-Harfer RuneMaker ChessUmpire Map-Harfer

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 09:03:06 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Joel Ricker" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> > > > I don't *believe* it!
> > > 
> > > Believe it bub :-P
> > 
> > No! I won't believe it!
> 
> No... really you should!
> 
> > > 
> > > > > > >> > >> >> > I suppose I may as well make the first bid: A$10.
> > > > > > >> > >> >> And I the second, at A$11.
> > > > > > >> > >> >Third bid: A$14
> > > > > > >> > >> A$21.
> > > > > > >> > >A$35
> > > > > > >> > A$42.
> > > > > > >> A$50
> > > > > > >Bah! A$80.
> > > > > > A$93.
> > > > > A$123
> > > > A$180
> > > A$215
> > A$240.
> 
> A$245 

Slakko considered my last bid invalid so my new bid is A$273.

- -- Joe Java

- -----------------------------------------------------------------
     Joel Ricker [] [email-masked] [] ICQ# 6244364
                The Imperial Emporer of ImpNom #28
         http://www.Geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/1047/
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
              That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
- -----------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 09:51:59 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Joel Ricker" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Stock Purchase

I wish to purchase 10 shares of stock at A$22.7 for a total of A$227.

- -----------------------------------------------------------------
     Joel Ricker [] [email-masked] [] ICQ# 6244364
                The Imperial Emporer of ImpNom #28
         http://www.Geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/1047/
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
              That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
- -----------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 09:56:00 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Tom Walmsley" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> Slakko considered my last bid invalid so my new bid is A$273.

Good grief, aren't these prices just a tad excessive? I was actually
expecting this to go for much the same price as the butler.

TGW.

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 10:14:52 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Joel Ricker" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> > Slakko considered my last bid invalid so my new bid is A$273.
> 
> Good grief, aren't these prices just a tad excessive? I was actually
> expecting this to go for much the same price as the butler.
> 
> TGW.

Just call it "newbie enthusiasm".  Have know idea what I would do 
with a ballot stuffer but I want one.. for $273 do I get the optional 
potato peeler/nose hair trimmer with it? 

- -----------------------------------------------------------------
     Joel Ricker [] [email-masked] [] ICQ# 6244364
                The Imperial Emporer of ImpNom #28
         http://www.Geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/1047/
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
              That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
- -----------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 10:38:25 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Ian K." <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> > > > I don't *believe* it!
> > > 
> > > Believe it bub :-P
> > 
> > No! I won't believe it!
> 
> No... really you should!
> 
I quit. Now i'm going to try and find a Plunky Monkey Wrench to throw in
the Good Ballot stuffer. Then I'll laugh. A little.

Koxvolio

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 10:41:53 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Ian K." <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> > Slakko considered my last bid invalid so my new bid is A$273.
> 
> Good grief, aren't these prices just a tad excessive? I was actually
> expecting this to go for much the same price as the butler.
> 
E just wants to stuff my evil ballot stuffer.

Spoilsport  :-)

Koxvolio

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 11:21:30 -0400 (EDT)
From: "Joel Ricker" <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

> > > > > I don't *believe* it!
> > > > 
> > > > Believe it bub :-P
> > > 
> > > No! I won't believe it!
> > 
> > No... really you should!
> > 
> I quit. Now i'm going to try and find a Plunky Monkey Wrench to throw in
> the Good Ballot stuffer. Then I'll laugh. A little.
> 
> Koxvolio

Hoohoo!  I won something..

(Auctioneer motions Joe over, and wispers the final bidding price)

yea.. i won something whoppdedoo....

:-)

- -----------------------------------------------------------------
     Joel Ricker [] [email-masked] [] ICQ# 6244364
                The Imperial Emporer of ImpNom #28
         http://www.Geocities.com/TimesSquare/Arena/1047/
- -----------------------------------------------------------------
              That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
- -----------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 12:23:04 -0400 (EDT)
From: Andrew Stefanski <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Good Ballot Stuffer

On Wed, 8 Apr 1998, Joel Ricker wrote:

- ->Slakko considered my last bid invalid so my new bid is A$273.

I bid $310.

 *---------------------------------------------------------------------------*
   Andrew Stefanski                                            Motorola LMPS 
              UNRECOVERABLE USER ERROR - Terminating Current User

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 15:12:03 -0400 (EDT)
From: Duncan Richer <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Stock Purchase

On Wed, 8 Apr 1998, Joel Ricker wrote:

> I wish to purchase 10 shares of stock at A$22.7 for a total of A$227.

Two things wrong with this.
One, the current Stock Price is approximately A$41.88, as listed on the
most recent issue of else...if's Newspaper.
Two, each stock (by Rule 500 which has precedence over Rule 530) must be
purchased for an integral number of Ackadollars.  So 10 stocks currently
would most likely cost you A$420, although if there have been a lot of
activities so far today it would be A$430.

Yours,
Slakko
- -- 
Duncan C. "" Richer aka
Slakko (Lost) Warner - http://dcr24.quns.cam.ac.uk/ - Queens' College
Cambridge, 1st Year PhD(Pure Maths), CUDipSoc, CUSFS, CUSTS, CURS etc
Acka - President "Gumball" Web-Harfer RuneMaker ChessUmpire Map-Harfer

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 16:01:35 -0400 (EDT)
From: Guy Fawkes <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: stock purchase

I am buying 85 stocks.

GF

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 16:30:15 -0400 (EDT)
From: Towsner <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Stock Purchase

>Two things wrong with this.
>One, the current Stock Price is approximately A$41.88, as listed on the
>most recent issue of else...if's Newspaper.
>Two, each stock (by Rule 500 which has precedence over Rule 530) must be
>purchased for an integral number of Ackadollars.  So 10 stocks currently
>would most likely cost you A$420, although if there have been a lot of
>activities so far today it would be A$430.
	My intent when I wrote, though it may not work that way, was that
the price is rounded at the end of your total purchase.

- --
- -Henry Towsner, AKA else...if, The Fearless Alibi Posesser, Laefu, and Yilran

	<[email-masked]>

	Success is the child of audacity.
		-Benjamin Disraeli

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 17:01:43 -0400 (EDT)
From: Duncan Richer <[email-masked]>
Subject: Re: Acka: Stock Purchase

On Wed, 8 Apr 1998, Towsner wrote:

> >Two things wrong with this.
> >One, the current Stock Price is approximately A$41.88, as listed on the
> >most recent issue of else...if's Newspaper.
> >Two, each stock (by Rule 500 which has precedence over Rule 530) must be
> >purchased for an integral number of Ackadollars.  So 10 stocks currently
> >would most likely cost you A$420, although if there have been a lot of
> >activities so far today it would be A$430.
> 	My intent when I wrote, though it may not work that way, was that
> the price is rounded at the end of your total purchase.

I know that was your intent, but I thought we had already agreed that your
intent was smothered by Rule 500's specifications about dealing in whole
numbers of entities.

Yours,
Slakko
- -- 
Duncan C. "" Richer aka
Slakko (Lost) Warner - http://dcr24.quns.cam.ac.uk/ - Queens' College
Cambridge, 1st Year PhD(Pure Maths), CUDipSoc, CUSFS, CUSTS, CURS etc
Acka - President "Gumball" Web-Harfer RuneMaker ChessUmpire Map-Harfer

------------------------------

Date: Wed, 08 Apr 1998 21:38:03 -0400 (EDT)
From: Towsner <[email-masked]>
Subject: Acka: Ackan Reserve Financial Report

Daily News:
	The market dropped by almost one point today.  This is one of the
largest drops ever for the activity value.  However due to the few
activities today, Ackan Reserve Chair else...if says that "I anticipate a
major rise tomorrow, possibly two or three points."

Rules and Regulations:
	Guy Fawkes used the Ackan Reserve Financial Report to get a winter
cap today.  Says Ackan Chair else...if, "Once was good.  Twice would be
pushing it.  Personally, I think there should be a prohibition on reusing
successful words."
	In light of the incipient presidential elections, the Ackan Reserve
has decided to support a candidate.  Says the Board's report, "We're
planning to figure out who will win anyway, and then vehemently support
them.  We have no intention of risking anything for some silly presidential
election, but we forsee the possibility of immense profit."

Stock Market Information:

Assuming no futher announcements today, the following information will take
affect at 12:12 tomorrow:

	Current Value: 41.08
	Positivity Value: 35.8
	Activity Value: 6.53

	Change Today: -0.8
	Change in Positivity: +0.0
	Change in Activity: -0.8
	Percent Change: -1.9%

	Activities Today: 3

- --
The Ackan Reserve Financial Report
Published by the board of the Ackan Reserve
Coming daily since 1998

	else...if

		ELSE...IF

	Chair, Ackan Reserve

------------------------------

End of acka-finance-digest V3 #49
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