Trinket Description Archive

Trinkets are governed by rule 506

Crystal Grapefruit (value A$78):

The Crystal Grapefruit is the same shape and size as the Right-Handed Grapefruit, except that it is made of pure crystal. It is very fragile, it will break if dropped. Ancient lore has it that the true shape of the earth can be seen by gazing into it.

Jade Key of Yara (value A$23):

The Jade Key of Yara is older than the earth itself. It is said that the ancients brought it with them from where ever they came, and that it opens the lock to some great Treasure. It is the oldest known artifact on Acka (even older than the lock it opens).

Onyx Lion (value A$92):

The Onyx Lion is a finely crafted statue of a Lion, recently found in the secret catacombs of Malenkai's castle. It is said that it speaks the same arcane language that Phoebe does, but its origin is unknown.

Fine Wooden Chest (value A$171):

The Fine Wooden Chest is a chest that is made of wood and is fine. It has a jade lock, gold trim on the corners, and iron banding for support. It has finely engraved runes all over it, but they are difficult to read due to a thick layer of dust that has accumulated on the chest over the centuries.

Chalice from the Palace (value A$180):

The Trinket is the Chalice from the Palace. It is a tal Chalice which produces a rainbow effect when light shines through it. It's value is A$180.

Malenkai's Gold Coins (57 of them, value A$1 each):

Each has a value of A$1. The actual name of each is "Malenkai's Gold Coins" with a unique number 0 thru 56 appended to that string.

Each weighs 100g, is pure gold, is hexagonal in shape, and has a portrait of Malenkai on the front, and a depiction of Malenkai's Castle on the back.

Onyx Vase (value A$98):

The Onyx Vase is pure black onyx with 2 brass monkeys sculpted into it, to be used as handles. The Onyx Vase makes an excellent vessel for frinking, and it is rumored that Right-Handed Grapefruit juice tastes especially good when quaffed from the container. It is sometimes called "Malenkai's Vase".

Map of Jara (value A$1):

The Map of Jara is tattered and difficult to read. Suffice it to say that there are words, pictures, glyphs, and runes on it, and it should be kept away from fire.

Shades of Chorg (value A$51):

Not only do these sunglasses protect the wearer from bright lights such as those from bonfires, Bronze Torches and flame wars, they also allow their wearer to see the true curvature of the earth. In fact, when tilted properly, their wearer can see clear around the earth.

Pedestal of *ping* (value A$50):

The Pedestal of *ping* is marble with veins of jade and onyx running through it. It was crafted by the creators of the Machine that goes *ping* as a stand for the Machine, which rests perfectly on it, and looks quite charming when so placed. Additionally, the Pedestal vibrates when the Machine placed on it goes *ping*, producing a very pleasant play of tones. It is said these tones actually speak, if you listen carefully to them.

No respectful Scholar would leave the Machine on the floor or in some dank corner while they are studying it, with such a beautiful and practical stand available. Tradition also has it that the Pedestal accompanies the Machine on its travels; that it is given to each successive Scholar by the previous one.

Secret Decoder Ring (value A$20):

I am creating a Trinket known as the Secret Decoder Ring with a value of A$20. This nifty little device is sure to help it's owner decode any message that he stumbles across. And when it is not being used for decoding, it makes it's own look very cosmopolitan indeed.

Guy Fawkes' Soap Box (value A$25):

Guy Fawkes' Soap Box is a nondescript wooden crate approximately one meter in each dimension. It is useful for standing upon. Any player is welcome to stand upon Guy Fawkes' Soap Box when making any sort of speech, but they are requested to log their name and the date upon the Soap Box before doing so.

  • Malenkai stood on the Soapbox and made a speech about docket proposal promotion and tabulation on 12/12/96.
  • Malenkai stood on the Soapbox and made a speech about Acka-Economics on 12/24/96.
  • Mohammed stood on the Soapbox and made an acceptance speech on 03/24/97.
  • breadbox stood on the Soapbox and made a speech about default voting on 07/01/97.
  • Guy Fawkes stood on the Soapbox and made a speech about loophole surfing on 08/08/97.

    No Tea (value A$20):

    I am creating a Trinket called No Tea, valued at A$20. It is easy to spot someone who has No Tea. No Tea looks like a box of salt, only more tubular and a bit stringy.

    Exquisite Dead Guy (value A$150):

    The "Exquisite Dead Guy" is worth A$150, mainly because he comes with his own display case, in which he rotates. If you stare at him long enough you might see his mouth move.

    Golden Frinking Straw (value A$100):

    It is a slender hollow tube made of thin gold, its outer surfaces exquisitely molded into a bas-relief depicting the creation of the earth. (How odd, depicting the creation of a flat object upon a cylinder.) It is guaranteed to make its owner totally conspicuous at any public frinking binge.

    Victorious Eggplant (value A$25):

    It is a paper mache replica of a Victory Egplant, gilded in 14K gold. It is worth A$25.

    I [Habeous Corpus] am presenting snowgod with the Victorious Eggplant in the hopes e will present it to the Pumpkin Patch's GRAPE in anticipation of their joining Internomic and bevcoming part of the larger nomic community.

  • This was removed from Ackanomic by self-deleting rule 1590, on 01/09/97

    Interpol Mug (value A$7):

    It is a nice, dark navy-blue mug for holding hot frinks, coffee or cider in particular. Very handy for those of you in northern latitudes, now that Jack Frost is nipping at your various appendages.

    whatever it is we're auctioning today (value A$1):

    I hereby create a trinket by the name of 'whatever it is we're auctioning today' with a value of A$1. It is a lovely little thing, though it defies description. It looks a good bit like everything else, really.

    Fibber the Low-Grade Brass-Painted Cheapo Plastic Flea (value A$9):

    Said trinket includes the ziplock baggie that Fibber lives in.

    Since I have never found Phoebe, I can console myself by talking to Fibber instead. (And sometimes, when *I* have had too much to frink, Fibber talks back.)

    If it ever transpires that I do find Phoebe, I will put Fibber up for auction.

    Agora (value A$1):

    I hereby create a trinket called Agora, worth A$1, which looks a lot like a very large number of very happy Walruses that may or may not exist.

    Pumkin Patch (value A$1):

    Small, round, orange/green

    Thring (value A$1):

    Small, ambiguously-shaped

    Ties (value A$2 each):

    15 ties are in existance. Ties are red and white striped men's cravats and are uniquely numbered from 1 to 15.

    A single Tie cost 2 A$.

    Jammer's Butler (value A$25):

    It is 4 thingees in size making it medium sized, and has the following features:

    It is a small humanoid figure 1.25 meters tall wearing a dark suit and a grave expression. It introduces players, looks down its nose at player's who are not properly dressed, gives a tie to such players, and offers them canapes.

    Model of what might have been Jmmer's Butler (value A$10):

    It is a small humanoid figure 1.25 meters tall wearing a dark suit and a grave expression. It looks as if it could introduces player, look down it's nose at player's who are not properly dressed, give a tie to such players, and offer them canapes but it can't

    Crown of Ultimate Failure (value A$100):

    It is a crown of the roman style (Corona Civicus?) made from the shells of Chartruese Goose Eggs. It is worn on a players head just above the ears with the ends of the crown residing upon a players temples. This crown should always be worn by the player who has the highest number of failed proposals.

    Kudo (value A$1):

    I herby make a 1 $A Trinket called a Kudo (Which looks like a tiny brass action figure in samuri armor) and present it to Red Barn.

    Amulet of Saaramaa (value A$75):

    It is a beautifully polished, rather large, piece of ancient amber on a gold chain. Encased in the amber is a frog, with skin of gold. It is said that when gazing into the Amulet, a telepathic bond is formed with the Golden Frog, who whispers ancient Truths. This is a rather nice feature, because usually arduous quests are required to gain an audience with the Golden Frog.

    Codex of Jara (value A$1):

    The Codex of Jara is a rather tattered old tome, but it is said that it contains clues to the rather difficult treasures of Jara, which are revealed to anyone who possesses and studies it.

    The Golden Frog (value A$600):

    The Golden Frog is an ancient wonder; a knower of Truth. It is also quite valuable.

    The Haddocks' Eyes Locket (value A$75):

    Clever, these Ancients, distributing Boons that Must be Described.

    Mine is a lovely locket, expertly fashioned of material from the other side of the Universe, whose name is called The Haddocks' Eyes Locket. Engraved on the outside is a monogram, so ornate that its identity cannot be determined with finality. Within, on the left, is an incredibly accurate photograph of the open locket and its contents. On the right, a likeness of the Rev. Charles Dodgson, so lifelike that one can almost hear him reciting "A-Sitting on a Gate." (Those of us with three ears might actually be able to hear him ... )

    The Helm of Impending Vanquishment (value A$12):

    This silver helmet covers the eyes to spare its wearer the agony of seeing his rout as it approaches. In the silver of the front of the helmet are sculpted a pair of eyes wide with terror.

    I give this shiny new Helm to Malenkai, knowing that after /dev/joe pounds it into a platter, it will probably be worth ten times its current value on the open market. :o)

    Sceptre of Penguin Power (value A$75):

    [no description provided]

    The Grafitti Wall (value A$15):

    This transluscent strip of fabric, colored as a section of cinderblock, sways majestically beneath Acka at a hieght - depth? - distance below Acka that will not be covered by Fly under or any hieght provisions will cover it. It is securely attached to the ground in one of the pieces of land that I ,Jammer, own. On it are rumoured to appear the wisdom of the Ancients, While this is but a rumour, it is known that various comments and observations of me and my fellow Ackanomians may be found there.

    it may be found at

    Runestone of Jukkasjarvi Fragment (value A$3 each):

    I am creating 23 Trinkets, worth A$3 each, named 'Runestone of Jukkasjarvi Fragment n', where n is replaced by a number from 1 thru 23, so that the names are unique.

    Each Runestone of Jukkasjarvi Fragment is an irregularly shaped stone with various glyphs and runes engraved on it. It is obvious that they are parts of a larger whole.

    The Five Hundred Misplaced Ackapennies (value A$5):

      It appears to be a great many small discs of some shiny metal, in a loose
      Any ackapennie from the pile is approximately half an ackinch across, and
    made of gumshoe or some similar metal.  On the front of each is stamped a
    picture of the Golden Frog, surrounded by the words "In Harf We Trust * 1
    raeY - 0 raeY *" (so that the words "Year 0 - Year 1" appear forwards).  On
    the other side is stamped an image of the realm of Acka in all it's
    circular glory.
      In addition, each Ackapennie has a unique serial number; the numbers
    assigned are consecutive primes, starting from 57, which is a prime as far
    as the Ackapennies know :).
      A bit of experimentation will reveal that it is possible to separate
    groups of Ackapennies with consecutive serial numbers from the pile, in
    groups of 100.  If this is done, the following things occur:
      1.  This trinket is destroyed.
      2.  The Ackapennies which constituted it/them are broken up into groups which
        are of size 100, by any means which is desired by the player performing the
        action of separation.
      3.  New trinkets, one for each group formed in the previous step, and composed
        of the Ackapennies contained in that group, are created.
           A.  These trinkets shall each have a value of A$1 for every hundred
             Ackapennies which they consist of.
           B.  There are no formal guidelines for the names of these trinkets; the
             names may be whatever desired as long as they unambiguously specify the
             Ackapennies composing the trinkets (the form "Those of the Five Hundred
             Misplaced Ackapennies numbered from 57 to xxx, as well as those
             numbered 89, 171, and 97" is suggested but not required).  These
             trinkets will have an appearance similar to that of the original "The
             Five Hundred Misplaced Ackapennies", and will be separable in the same
           C.  It shall be possible to merge these trinkets together.  This shall
             occur in the following fashion:
               I.  The trinkets being merged shall be destroyed.
              II.  If the mergence reunites all trinkets separated per this system,
                 a trinket with a value of A$5 shall be created, with a name of "The
                 Five Hundred Misplaced Ackapennies", and a description identical to
                 the whole of this description.
             III.  If the condition in II, above, is not met, procedures 2 and 3 in
                 this description shall be followed (in that order).
           D.  At any time, such a trinket may be renamed to another name which
             satisfies the conditions in B, above.
      Any attempt to separate the pennies into groups of denominitions which
    are not of 100 is met with the discovery that the pennies are apparantly
    welded together, almost as if it was impossible to create units smaller
    than one Ackadollar.

    The statue of snowgod made entirely of Blue Jello (value A$100):

    It is a statue of snowgod made entirely of Blue Jello.

    an E for effort (value A$10 each):

    Each is a small letter (A or E as appropriate) crafted in gold, with a small loop at the top so it could be hung from a necklace or other device.

    Little Bag O' Chips [A-E, H-I, Z] (value A$1 each):

    What's a house naming party without refreshments?

    I hereby create 26 trinkets, each valued at A$1. The first is called "Little Bag O' Chips A" and consists of a small sealed polymer bag with the words "Little Bag O' Chips A" printed on the outside, and containing one ounce of thinly sliced potato that has been fried in oil 'til crisp, and salted.

    The next 25 are remarkably similar, except that the final character of the name and the printing on each is a succeeding letter of the alphabet, B through Z.

    I hereby go to the Castle on a Cloud, and present "Little Bag O' Chips B" to Ludwig. I will give a "Little Bag O' Chips" with successive final characters to the next 24 players who attend Ludwig's house-naming party, unless they indicate they don't want one. (I'm keeping "Little Bag O' Chips A" for myself.)

    Whether or not opening the sealed polymer bags and consuming the enclosed fried potato slices constitues destruction of a trinket (and is, thus, impossible), I will leave for others to decide. (Although if one is persistant, it will end up on my (and Mohammed's) doorstep, anyway.)

    A Big Bowl of Dip (value A$5):

    Indeed, I create 1 big trinket worth A$5 known as "A Big Bowl of Dip" Which is a giant ceramic container devided in thirds, containing salsa, onion dip, and that green stuff I really cant stand. I go to Castle on a Cloud and present "A Big Bowl of Dip" to Ludwig as a housewarming present.

    Fresh Mints (value A$3):

    Fresh Mints are a bowl of nibblements in the form of of small bomerangs variously flavored christmas candy flavor, mint flavor, and spearming. Like the mints they derive a sort of resemblence these flavors are of course not real.

    PrtyChssPc Rk (value A$75):

    [It] resembles a PartyChessPiece Rook to whatever extent such resemblance is legal, and I am giving it to Niccolo Flychuck in case he wants to pull a fast one on the Party Board when no one is looking. If you ever want my thoughts on a PartyChess modification, you know my address.

    marble pedestal (value A$15):

    I am using A$15 to create a marble pedestal 1.5 meters high. On the base is inscribed "Guy Fawkes". I place it in my office, at the top of my lighthouse. Upon the pedestal, I place the Prosthetic Forehead given to me by Guy Fawkes:

    This one tall and made of felt, with a feather sticking out of it in a very dandy way. Attached to the forehead (with elmer's glue) are some bright green felt letters spelling out the following poem:

    "All hail th'illustrious god of snow Who 'pon us suction cups bestowed, For he who paid for days of frink Is still a leader grand, I think!

    (And yea, Guy Fawkes is quite a flake; Of syntax mockery he doth make, And for the sake of finding rhyme, Use structure from a prior time."

    Nonentity 137 (value A$4):

    A sneering Arts and Antiquities Community is pretty much irresistable. I hereby create 200 trinkets, each worth A$4, named Nonentity 1, Nonentity 2, etc., through Nonentity 200. They're not very big, they don't weigh much, and they're invisible, which limits the detail of my description. The Arts and Antiquities Community may sneer, but that only causes me to laugh, "Ha-ha, cheap trinkets!"

    I carry all my Nonentities to the Museum, to which I donate Nonentity 137. I carry Nonentities 1-136 and 138-200 to the Treasury, where I exchange them for a total of A$796, which destroys them and upsets the Arts and Antiquities Communities, causing me to laugh again, "Ha-ha, temporary trinkets!"

    Elves (value A$23):

    It is a small tree, with green-clad, pointy-eared guys and gals cavorting about its trunk.

    Elwes (value A$23):

    It is a figurine of Cary Elwes, star of films such as "Another Country" and "The Princess Bride". This figurine has him wearing all black, just like the Dread Pirate Robert.

    Beach Blanket Bingo (value A$5):

    It is a box containing several bingo cards that look like blankets and a whole bunch of the little counter things used in playing bingo. I'm taking it with me to the party, in case anyone wants to play.

    Gaol House Rock Shovel (value A$23):

    It is about 3 feet long, and although composed of stone, is surprisingly light and sturdy.

    Strider's Presidential Vision (value A$100):

    It is a set of electrodes that attaches to the owners head at the temples. When the switch (did I mention the switch?:) is flipped, the wearer sees a ghostly miniature image of Acka floating in front of em with my head floating over it and smiling beatifically.

    sticks and stones (value A$50):

    It is invisible, so can not be described by anyone not capable of seeing invisible things. Hurling it at someone is considered preferable to calling them names, since sticks and stones can't hurt anyone. If you hurl sticks and stones at them, they may pick it up and keep it.

    Big Ole Jug of Wine (value A$5):

    Which looks like a big green jug with an easy to open screw top.

    Victory Gin (value A$19):

    [It] is relatively poor quality, worth A$19 but what do you excpect from a 1984 vintage?

    Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster (value A$45):

    It is a mostly colorless liquid, with hints of silver and copper flecks. You can't see it, because it is held in a lead-lined thermos type bottle so that its emanations don't alarm those who are faint of heart.

    The Splendid One Man Percussion Section (value A$150):

    It is large with many pedals and switches. It is also esecially loud.

    a trinket called Smiley (value A$5):

    It is circular in shape, yellow and has of picture of a Smiley Face on it.

    EEL Button (value A$7):

    It is worth A$7 and says upon it in blue letters, "Support E.E.L Radio" I begin to wear the button.

    Tube Top of Kyle Bannor (value A$50):

    It is a finely woven circle of the finest elastic material in the land. It brings a sense of pride and dignity to anyone who wears it.

    uropokan (value A$20):

    It is a statue representing a style of fighting using only paper napkins. I am presenting it to Ackers in recognition of his fine play in ghost, the only play last night able to usurp both brr and ustiox.

    Cheap political favors 1-20 (value A$1 each):

    They are buttons reading "Vote yes on 1775!". I am wearing Cheap political favors 1. I stand on the corner of what I hope will soon be St.Charles and Pennsylvania and hand out the rest of them to who ever wants one and is willing to wear it proudly.

    Tasteless Trinket of Timekeeping (value A$999):

    It consists of eight golden statues of semi-nude women, standing about a foot high and arranged facing outward in a circle about 18 inches in diameter. Each is encrusted with a variety precious, semi-precious, and not-at-all-precious-but-still-glittering stones representing such clothing as she is wearing. Each has a replica of a historic timepiece in her navel, representing the history of timekeeping from waterclocks and hourglasses right through atomic primary standards. On their upraised arms they support a horizontal golden disk engraved with a map of Ackanomia, set with a variety of stones as above, representing various buildings, features, and locations in Ackanomia, as well as a few stones that don't represent anything but fill what would otherwise be relatively stone-free areas.

    internomic (value A$10):

    it's a complex tangle of lines, all coming together upon a very sparse ruleset.

    IRC Trout of Slapping (value A$10):

    For all intents and purposes, it is a live trout...except for the fact that its 3 feet long, and doesn't smell like a fish.

    Pair of Big Brass Balls, [sic] (value A$50):

    The balls are each approximately 2 feet in diameter. They are made of solid brass, and have been polished to the point of near luminesence. They are extremely heavy, and make a loud *thud* if knocked together.

    Cheeseburger of Strider-Bonking (value A$10):

    The Cheeseburger of Strider-Bonking is a perfectly ordinary cheeseburger except for it's exceptional aerodynamic qualities, and the fact that it does not fall apart when thrown.

    Alien Shaking Ball (value A$20):

    It is a crystal ball filled with a special, transparent liquid that is almost multicolored at the edges of the ball. Inside is a representation of Acka sprinkled with snow. When the owning player shakes it after shouting the name of a nomic (other than Acka), tiny figures representing of their players begin to fall and float around in the liquid like snowflakes, until slowly, they disappear when reaching the bottom. Kids and adults alike find it is a very amusingly compelling thing to watch.

    Dubious Chicken Rectum (value A$1):

    It is a bronze cast of a feathery behind on a small pedestal engraved with the word "Rosebutt."

    Rene (value A$10):

    Rene is a statue, roughly three feet high, of Descartes, sitting in the Royal Gardens at Versailles and pondering what makes us men and not mice, and other things. It is an exquisitely crafted statue, made to the most exacting standards of craftsmanship, except that he's got a third arm, which is actually quite unisghtly despite its utility and really mucks the whole thing up.

    The Machine That Goes *blurp* (value A$20):

    It looks like a metal box that farts occasionally. Inside it is a pile of wooden spoons, the number of which is equal to 1 less than the number of players of Ackanomic.

    The Earth (value A$1):

    It is a small, round, blue-green sphere, and is mostly harmless.

    I Was On A Galactic Rescue Mission (value A$10):

    It represents the perfect figure of an winged Player, pure classical Ancient style, in dramatic pose, right hand in a fist, striking toward the unknown on high. It is 3 cats height high. On the pedestal is engraved the name of the trinket along with the date it was created.

    We Come In Peace (value A$10):

    It is a gold disc with music on one side and inscriptions on the other. The inscriptions represents the generic anatomy of a player, a diagram showing our planet and where it is located in the universe, a greeting and an invitation to visit Acka. On the edge of the disc, the word "harf" is repeated over and over. The disc has radius 42cm. It's material is 100% pure, it's circular form is mathematically perfect, to show our technical prowess. On the inner part of the music side, our original rule set is engraved on the atomic level. On the inscription side, the current rule set is engraved, also on the atomic level. It comes in a transparent case that can resist the effects of time and elements (including radiation, explosions, etc) guaranteed for over one million Acka years.

    Consolation Prize (value A$50):

    It is a T-shirt that says "I beat /dev/joe in a treasure hunt and all I got was this stupid t-shirt" on the front, and on the back it has holographic pictures of all the trinkets contained in the treasure /dev/joe just found.

    Crash Helmet (value A$10):

    This is another piece of headwear (-ware?) for Malenkai. It is blast-proof, flame-proof, lightning-proof, waterproof, acid-proof, death-magic-proof, and generally more or less secure (except for the bugs and back doors.) There is a small flask clipped to the inside containing a concoction that is 180 proof.

    Crashproof Vest (value A$10):

    Across the front are printed the words, "What's your clearance, citizen?" On the back is printed "Destruction of Computer property is a Crime, a Felony. Have a nice day!" The Vest, unfortunately for Red Barn, is bright yellow.

    Han Solo (value A$50):

    It is shaped like a man frozen in Carbonite.

    Phil the Aluminum Tick (value A$15):

    Phil is a little thing, that looks suspiciously like a certain other talking insect in Acka. He's prone to spouting bits of poetry, non sequitirs, and sports scores from time to time, but mixed in with his constant stream of babble is the occasional flash of Wisdom that distinguishes him from other Ticks.

    Bronze Umbrella (value A$5):

    It is a small umbrella, like the sort found in slushy drinks, and is said to protect Amber Banana Trees from Acid Rain

    Lucky Ball and Chain (value A$50):

    A huge iron ball connected to a vicious looking iron shackle by a short length of iron chain. On the ball is a picture of the cutest little skeeter you've ever seen.

    Malenkai's Amber Banana Tree (value A$5):

    It is an Amber Banana Tree in all ways, except the coloration of the amber is more Dominican than Baltic.

    Amber Heptahedron (value A$1):

    It is an oddly cut block of amber about the size of a softball. Three of its seven faces are rhombic. Three of its faces are five-sided shapes. All the faces are flat. The Heptahedron is convex.

    A box to put rule books in (value A$15):

    Its box with on top of it a small sign. The sign says :

    This book contents 6 rulebooks of the game Rings. By taking a rulebook you support that this game must come a part of the "Games and Contests". Please take only one copy per person. "

    The Ackanomic Museum of Antiquities (Trinket) (value A$50):

    It is a perfect life size replica of the Museum, and all of it's contents, including Guy Fawkes. The only difference is that everything is much cleaner and prettier than in real life.

    The Inky Bloater (value A$10):

    The Inky Bloater resembles a large, black, teardrop. Its surface feels dry to the touch, but the interior of the Bloater is obviously liquid, with a thin film over top. The Bloater is half the height of a standard human, but is comparatively light and can be moved easily by sliding along any reasonable smooth surface. The skin of the Bloater has proven resistant to all manner of sharp implements. The Bloater is dark to the level of light-absorption, and will always appear darker than any blackness it may happen to be in. It does not make any discernible noises, nor does it give off any odours. Nobody has yet attempted to taste it. Telepaths, however, get a disquieting sensation that it is somehow alive.

    Hubert Feathers (value A$50):

    Hubert Feathers are small, soft down from an unknown bird. They are said to bless their owner with good timing, and it is believed that whoever possesses them is most likely to win a contest of speed.

    cheap plastic imitation of the Amulet of Yendor (value A$10):

    It is made of plastic and looks exactly like the real Amulet of Yendor, except for the fact that it has "Made in Taiwan" stamped on the back.

    Nethack (value A$1):

    It looks like a very complex arrangement of ASCII characters, which makes for an amazingly interesting game.

    the Manx Cat (value A$30):

    The Manx Cat is a dark-coloured statue of a cat--made of some dark, shiny substance. Under different lights it will look purple, indigo, navy blue, dark green, or even black. The cat depicted is an impossibly slender, stylized sitting cat, with of course no tail.

    the Wouf Houng (value A$1):

    It is a wood and metal object approximately one (1) meter in length.

    nada (value A$5):

    a whole lot of nothing.

    Beldin's Parka (value A$7):

    It is made of coarse alpaca wool, flecked with gold and dyed with cochineal. Although it looks very much like a garment, it is said to cursed, and weird things happen to smelly detectives who attempt to wear it.

    5 PFAlfvaen (value A$12):

    It looks like a typical 5 PFAlfvaen.

    The Brass Umbrella (value A$25):

    The Brass Umbrella is made of beaten brass, and is both very shiny and very light and flexible. The handle is a thin but sturdy brass pole, and the membrane of the umbrella can be raised and lowered as normal. It is entirely waterproof, but is not very resistant against Acid Rain.

    I Remember Oom-Pah-Pah! (value A$100):

    It is a pink vinyl bumber sticker made to be worn across the forehead. It says, in honest to god actual 24 karat gold lettering, and with not a hint of frog contamination, (and what are the odds of this?) "I Remember Oom-Pah-Pah!".

    repayment (value A$50):

    looks just like A$50.

    The Old Man's Marbles (value A$100):

    This trinket looks like the most amazing trinket ever created to every player that sees it, yet it is something different to each person.

    Inky Bloater Decoy 50-99,137 (value A$1 each):

    It looks just like the Inky Bloater, except that it is made of cheap black plastic.

    the Large Wooden Block (value A$10):

    It is a large wooden block with numberless possible uses.

    the Chartreuse Elephant (value A$600):

    It is a life size wooden carving of an elephant clad is chartreuse-stained ivory.

    Man Thin (value A$1):

    It looks similar to a Bronze Torch and is very intelligent.

    Nothing Tangible (value A$1):

    No comment

    Normal Matter (value A$5):

    Normal Matter is just like Antimatter, except its exact opposite in all respects. If Normal Matter and Antimatter were both players, they would be Evil Twins. If the Rules allowed one to specify these kinds of things for trinkets, any player owning both Normal Matter and Antimatter should go up in an explosion somewhat like that of the Gumball and Anti-Gumball. (For that matter, anything that's not Antimatter coming into contact with Antimatter should have such an effect. But perhaps AckaPhysics permits the two to exist side by side under certain circumstances.)

    A$50 (value A$5):

    This looks like A$50, but if you look closely at it you can see that it's really A$5 with an extra zero scribbled on it in chartreuse crayon.

    Travesty (value A$10):

    On the right, a likeness of the quartz and reflection of the earth can be moved easily by sliding along any reasonable smooth surface. The skin of the original "The Five Hundred Misplaced Ackapennies numbered from 1 to 23, so that the pennies into groups which are revealed to anyone who wears it. It is said these tones actually speak, if you listen carefully to them. No respectful Scholar would leave the Machine that goes ping* as a housewarming present. Fresh Mints are a bowl of nibblements in the liquid like snowflakes, until slowly, they disappear when reaching the bottom. Kids and adults alike find it is not being used for decoding, it makes it's own look very cosmopolitan indeed. Guy Fawkes' Soap Box when making any sort of speech, but they are difficult to read due to a Bronze Torch and is willing to wear the button. It is said to bless their owner with good timing, and it is we're auctioning today' with a feather sticking out of it in blue letters, "Support E.E.L. Radio" I begin to wear it. It is securely attached to the inside containing a concoction that is 180 proof. Across the front are printed the words "What's your clearance, citizen?" On the right, a likeness of the name and the printing on each is "Malenkai's Gold Coins" with a value of A$1.

    player (value A$1):

    It looks like a re-embodied entity.

    players (value A$1):

    It looks like a size-six entity in a size-five body.

    Blarney Stone (value A$77):

    It appears to be a rather ordinary stone, but according to legend can grant extraordinary powers of persuasion.

    The Plate of Sardines (value A$25):

    This trinket is an ordinary china plate(with a very dull pattern around the outside), covered in fresh sardines. These sardines will remain fresh until eaten, and the plate will continually supply more. However, if the sardines fall off the plate, they become very slippery underfoot!

    Medium-sized Wooden Block (value A$10):

    Its name is a suitable description of its appearance.

    a strong shovel (value A$7):

    This is a very strong shovel, made out of an adamantium-vibranium-steel alloy, hardened in the fires of the heart of the sun, and with an edge sharp enough to cut the dawn. It it perfectly balanced, so that lifting the heaviest of loads is only a minimal effort.

    your useless brain (value A$8):

    It looks just like your brain, but its convolutions are shallow and smooth. It is very light, it isn't flat, and it's totally useless.

    God-like status ( as defined in "Amung Gods" [sic] (value A$23):

    It is a silver badge, with the word "GOD" written on it in big letters, and the words "In Eris we don't trust" written around the edge in real tiny letters.

    Adhesive Capital H (value A$2):

    It is an adhesive capital letter H, which can be placed on my forehead conveniently. It has a value of A$2 and is colored gold.

    money (value A$1):

    money is a pile of brightly colored slips of paper and mostly round pieces of different types of metals from around the world.

    Shapeshifter (value A$600):

    Its appearance is always changing.

    Bronze Horse (value A$700):

    It looks like an overly expensive horse made entirely of bronze.

    Aladdin's Ring (value A$800):

    It looks like Aladdin turned into an old man. It is said that you have to have seen it recently to understand it fully.

    Miniature Tower Replica (value A$7):

    This trinket looks sort of like a very small tower, if you squint at it, but it's really just a tongue depressor half-covered with glue, with a couple of scraps of newspaper sticking to it.

    Silver Shovel (value A$100):

    It is a shovel made out of pure silver with the letters "ABJ LBH UNIR GNXRA HC GUR PUNYYARATR" carved on the handle in flowing script. It is said to be greatly prized by treasure-finders, and legend has it that the ancients favor players who bury the Silver Shovel after finding it.

    Vilya (value A$100; Majik):

    This trinket is Majik. It is sapphire bullet of pure love number 801. Vilya is the First of the Three Rings for the Elven-Kings under the sky. It is a ring of gold with a great blue stone.

    Nenya (value A$100; Majik):

    This trinket is Majik. It is sapphire bullet of pure love number 802. Nenya is the Second of the Three Rings for the Elven-Kings under the sky. It is a ring of mithril bearing a single white stone that flickers like a frosty star.

    Narya the Great (value A$100; Majik):

    This trinket is Majik. It is sapphire bullet of pure love number 803. Narya the Great is the Third of the Three Rings for the Elven-Kings under the sky. It is a ring of silver with a stone upon it red as fire.

    The One (value A$100; Majik):

    This trinket is Majik. It is sapphire bullet of pure love number 800. It is a ring of pure gold with some delicate elvish inscriptions inside. The inscription says: 'One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne, on the top side of Acka where the Shadows lie. One ring to rule them all, One ring to find them, One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.'

    Parka (value A$30):

    Parka is covered with bright yellow and blue swirls, and it keeps one warm when travelling to the edge of the earth. Ancient myth has it, that like most things, it is better to give Parka than to receive it.

    Military lasers (value A$30):

    Military lasers are small hand held units that make a pleasant hum when used. It is well known that you do not want to take Military lasers with you when treasure hunting, and *never* fire them at Aliens, unless you are in a bomb shelter.

    Thanatopsis (value A$27):

    [It] looks like a dead guy, reflecting on his life.

    Monument to Futility Tickets 3/5 (value A$1 each):

    Each is a rather dirty stub of pink paper.

    Practice Voodoo Economics (value A$5):

    It's a ventriloquist's dummy that looks like Ronald Regean. It's got pins stuck in it.

    Mr. Lunatic Fringe's Treasure Togas #1-8 (value A$5):

    Each is a a toga of the roman style. Ownership of one of these trinkets will allow its owner to participate in the upcoomming murder mystery treasure hunt.

    Beldin's Parka (value A$3):

    This parka is very thick and warm-looking, but it also extremely short, as if it were meant to be worn by someone who's about two feet shorter than the average, and is further somewhat lopsided, as if meant to accomodate someone whose skeleton was somewhat askew. In any event, a normal-height person wearing it in wintry weather would have very cold legs unless they were also wearing Beldin's Pants.

    Military Laser (value A$15):

    The Military laser is a weapon. It looks like what its name sounds like it looks like. Despite its appearance, it was created for defensive purposes. Carved onto the handle is the word "xyzzy".

    Military Laser 1-10 (value A$15):

    [do to a thread split, and gross incompetence on the part of the Trinket Harfer, this description has been lost]

    Snail Shell (value A$30):

    Its where a snail has to be.

    /dev/joe's Legacy (value A$250):

    /dev/joe's Legacy is a pointed wizard's cap, purple with yellow numbers, greek letters, and mathematical symbols all over it.

    Economy Sized Bottle of TOBASCULES SAUCE (value A$50):

    This bottle is punier than a breadbox it has a green screw off cap, and contains what would be a badly painted pukey kind of "red barn red" colored sauce inside (kind of like tobasco sauce). Also inside the bottle is an item of some kind but 'cause of the thick opaque "Barn Red" color it would have to be opened to determine exactly what it is. The label taped upon the bottle depicts a sickingly thin man wearing a sombrero and the top corner of the label is torn so it reads "-BASCULES SAUCE"

    The Laundry Clean Disk(tm) (value A$5):

    This is a bulky chrome plated 50's SF B-movie style washing machine, which sadly fails to actually wash clothes, or do anything else. Stuck to the side is a somewhat faded label which reads:

    The Laundry Clean Disk(tm) works on "Quantum Mechanics" (Physics), not chemistry. With a method called 'Structured Water Technology" The Laundry CD(tm) activates your laundry water naturally through this proprietary process which structures water to mimic the cleaning effect of detergent - without detergents or chemical agents. NOW!! the NEW Dishwasher Disk(tm) for your dishwasher. It really works!!

    Bug Bashing Implement (value A$33):

    A flyswatter that is very high-tech-looking in some undefinable way. It is rumored that the Tabulator/Promotor must possess this trinket for eir bot to be fully functional.

    Mister Cwm's Bench (value A$77):

    A hand-carved pewter pendant of a bench. It is said that wearing this trinket on a necklace brings the possessor insight.

    Fon-due Set (value A$40):

    A fondue set. Presumably we all know what a fondue set looks like. It is painted a retina-searing violet hue.

    Jephthah's Pride (value A$1):

    It is a cheap tin miniature of a rather impressive classical bronze, though portraying the rather disturbing subject matter of a young girl lying on an altar with her throat slit.

    muncies and frinks for the host (value A$3):

    It is a small paper bag which apparently contains an unlimited supply of soda cans and serving-size bags of potato chips, although it might not really. If you look at it and squint really, really hard, you can kind-of sort-of almost see the caviar and champagne it doesn't contain.

    IWW (value A$99):


    Little Wooden Ship 1-10 (value A$5):

    A small wooden ship, in a glass bottle. The ship is an exact replica of Dread Pirate Roberts' home, the Pirate Ship Revenge. It was given as a give to a guest at The Pirate's house warming party.

    Dead Parrot, Robert (value A$5):

    This is a stuffed parrot with beautiful blue plumage. It has suckers glued to the undersides of its claws to allow it to be affixed to surfaces. When placed at the entrance to a room it will randomly squawk "Pieces of harf! Pieces of harf!" or "Pining for the fnords! Pining for the fnords!"

    RexBank promo poster (value A$5):

    This is a black poster with tacky gold writing on it which says "RexBank! For all your tax-dodging needs!" It is suitable for placing in a window for display.

    Little Wooden Ship #11 (value A$5):

    [none provided]

    Bottle of Bacardi (value A$151):

    It is a small sold silver flask with a gold screw-on cap. it contains a mixture of rum and a certain caramel coloured carbonated beverage that I shouldn't mentiopn by name.

    Stumpy (value A$10):


    Curious Clock of Uesticlox (value A$65):

    An ornate antique clock with a brass casing, the Curious Clock's main claim to curiosity is that while the short hour hand proceeds clockwise as normal, the larger minute hand moves counter-clockwise. It does not have a millenium hand or an eon hand. It does however have a small grotz counter which allows it to detect if it has been buried; while it is buried, it is frozen showing a time that has something to do with the map according to which it is buried. While it is not buried it keeps perfect Ackanomic time.

    Slogan #1 (value A$1):

    It is a small white button, to be pinned on a shirt, carrying the slogan "Abolish Contitional Actions" in forceful, but elegant, black letters.

    "I Opposed P2241", numbers 1 to 4 (value A$10 each):

    Each of these is a small black cylinder which fits in one hand. On the side is a switch which when switched causes a beam of light about 3 feet long to extrude from the end. They make a humming noise, which is louder when they are swung through the air. They also play loud, dramatic music whenever someone holds one of them and shouts "You're not my father!".

    Stormbringer (value A$100):

    Stormbringer is a very long black sword, with the blade covered in strange glowing runes from hilt to point. Stormbringer is new to this realm, but in others it has existed for thousands of years, and has taken the souls of a million men.

    Sqare Peg and Round Hole (value A$100):

    It is a polished brass rectangular prism and a burnished silver toroid. They almost (but not quite) fit together.

    Phish (value A$2):

    The Phish is a a clay statue of a fish, about one meter in length. It is a plain but not unattractive brown, unless the person looking at it is stoned, shrooming, or on acid. in such a case, the surface of the Phish appears to be an everchanging rainbow of colors, and the Phish will utter profound truths to the observer, such as 'Phish is a great band' and 'They Might Be Giants is an awful band' and 'The earth is flat.'

    A GAMES T-Shirt (value A$25):

    It is a bright red XL T-shirt with the GAMES Magazine logo in white, red, and black.

    Democracy? (value A$52):

    It is a white orb which glows when no one looks at its direction, on it are inscribed the signatures of all the members of the Rebelion.

    Demoncracy! (value A$52):

    From afar it looks like transparent bluish sphere, the closer one gets, the darker the sphere gets, and when one touches it, it stings.

    The Public Ally (value A$29):

    This altruistic-looking fellow looks like he's your friend, but his status is based entirely on misperception. He is wearing unusually thick clothing to protect him from bee stings, and carries a bag of fake plastic Scrabble tiles.

    one big head (value A$29):

    This head is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mindnumbingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the street to the chemist's, but...well, anyway. It's very realistic-looking, except for the fact that it doesn't talk, and it has a sort of "faceted plastic" look to it. One thing you can be sure of, though, whoever created it certainly was not greedy.

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    Maintained by Malenkai, Speaker of Ackanomic, Last Updated 09-Nov-96