The Machine That Goes *Ping*
The Machine That Goes *ping* is governed by rule 12-6
The Truths of the Machine:
Truths 1 through 25
26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37
At Fri, 08 May 1998 19:30:39 -0400, the Machine arrived in /dev/joe's House.
At Fri, 08 May 1998 22:56:18 -0400, /dev/joe posted the Truth of the Machine:
I return to my home, where I find the *Machine* awaiting me. I recall the past visits of the machine, it seems like it was only yesterday... Immediately I fall into a dream... a dream where I encounter a strange pattern, one which has somehow been blemished, and I have to use the most powerful thing in the universe to fix it, risking my life if I should make the slightest error.... Time passes, I awaken.
There was both a time and a spatial component to the pattern, and fortunately the time part was undamaged, as there is no way to fix it. The time part of the pattern follows a very simple rule, but I cannot seem to recall it entirely. All I remember is:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** **** ** ***** ** *** *** ** ***** ****** ****** *****, THEN the Machine that goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Thu, 21 May 1998 08:47:15 -0400, Fortunato guessed 'r' as the Magic Letter.
At Thu, 21 May 1998 10:47:42 -0400, /dev/joe filled in the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** **** ** ***** ** *** *** ** **r** ****** ****** *****, THEN the machine that goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Sun, 07 Jun 1998 13:52:20 -0400, Alfvaen named 'd' as the Magic Letter.
At Sun, 07 Jun 1998 13:55:42 -0400, /dev/joe filled in the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** d*** ** ***** ** *** *** ** **r** *****d ****** *****, THEN the machine that goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Sun, 21 Jun 1998 12:06:14 -0400, JT named 'h' as the Magic Letter.
At Sun, 21 Jun 1998 13:10:00 -0400, /dev/joe filled in the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *h* d*** ** ***** ** *h* *** ** *hr** *****d ****** *****, THEN the machine that goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Sun, 21 Jun 1998 15:33:04 -0400, breadbox guessed the Truth to be:
IF AND ONLY IF today the date is equal to the sum of three United States coins, THEN the machine that goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
This was rejected.
At Tue, 30 Jun 1998 23:54:29 -0400, JT guessed the Truth to be:
IF AND ONLY IF today the date in Texas is the sum of three United States coins, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
This was rejected.
At Sat, 11 Jul 1998 14:17:55 -0400, Attila the Pun bought a "t" in the truth.
At Sat, 11 Jul 1998 15:06:04 -0400, /dev/joe filled in the truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today th* d*t* ** ***t* ** th* *** ** thr** ***t*d *t*t** *****, THEN the machine that goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Sat, 11 Jul 1998 16:01:38 -0400, else...if guessed the Truth to be:
IF AND ONLY IF today the date is forty or the sum of thre United States coins, THEN the machine that goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
This was rejected.
At Sun, 12 Jul 1998 00:15:27 -0400, Alfvaen guessed the Truth to be:
IF AND ONLY IF today the date in cents is the sum of three United States coins, THEN the machine that goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
This was correct.
The Machine went *ping* on:
May 11, 1998.
May 12, 1998.
May 15, 1998.
May 16, 1998.
May 20, 1998.
May 21, 1998.
May 25, 1998.
May 27, 1998.
May 30, 1998.
May 31, 1998.
June 3, 1998.
June 7, 1998.
June 11, 1998.
June 12, 1998.
June 15, 1998.
June 16, 1998.
June 20, 1998.
June 21, 1998.
June 25, 1998.
June 27, 1998.
June 30, 1998.
July 3, 1998.
July 7, 1998.
July 11, 1998.
At Mon, 13 Jul 1998 18:18:40 -0400, Alfvaen posted the Truth:
In my dream, I was walking by the side of a stream, eating
pistachio ice cream, and paper by the ream
When weeping I did hear; I started to draw near, without a
shred of fear, and by the banks of a lake so clear
Was a flea made of steel, of aspect almost unreal, whose sobs
like bells did peal, like the barking of a seal.
'Twas not Phoebe by name, but her twin of the same, who liked
to play a game, not with matches and their flame
But with the Machine that goes *ping*, and softly to me she did sing,
but of what she said I cannot remember everything: IF AND ONLY IF today *** **** ******* * ******'* ********** ********* ** '**********' ** '*****', THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
To ask her further was no use, because then came a Goose,
all coloured chartreuse, in its beak a kazoo held loose
And when I awoke, it had all been no joke--in a cloud of curling smoke
the Machine sat in my house, and now I laber as Scholar in its yoke.
At Mon, 27 Jul 1998 19:42:20 -0400, JT named 'h' as the Magic Letter.
At Mon, 27 Jul 1998 19:48:58 -0400, Alfvaen filled in the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *h* **** ****h** * ******'* ***h****** ********* ** '*h********' ** '*****', THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Sun, 16 Aug 1998 23:21:06 -0400, breadbox guessed the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today the date matches a letter's alphabetic placement in 'chartreuse' or 'kazoo', THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
This was incorrect, and ridiculed thusly:
O, wayward breadbox, your message above fills me with woe that you should be the Spelling Exchequer, though perhaps the obvious haste in which you have sent your patently mistaken guess out into the ether in an attempt to forestall those with more wisdom and insight than yourself may excuse this maltreatment of what I assume is your native tongue. Needless to say, the text posted above, while it may serve you in finding the Treasure of Jukkasjarvi, is otherwise of no use whatsoever and is only worth preserving in the archives of Ackanomic information as a counterexample to those that come after.
At Mon, 17 Aug 1998 09:52:24 -0400, Slakko named 'a' as the Magic Letter.
At Mon, 17 Aug 1998 10:09:10 -0400, Alfvaen filled in the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *h* *a** *a**h** a ******'* a**ha***** ********* ** '*ha*******' ** '*a***' the Machine that goes *ping* shall go ping*.
At Mon, 17 Aug 1998 11:30:19 -0400, K 2 guessed the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today the date matches a letter's alphabetic numbering in 'chartreuse' or 'kazoo' the Machine that goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Mon, 17 Aug 1998 22:13:35 -0400, Alfvaen responded:
Congratulations, O antipodean one. You have succeeded where breadbox had failed, following the path of my mind to the phrasing I would choose. May you serve well as Scholar of *ping*.
(And yes, I did have the Jukkasjarvi treasure in mind when I came up with the truth.)
The Machine went *ping* on:
July 15, 1998.
July 18, 1998.
July 19, 1998.
July 20, 1998.
July 21, 1998.
July 26, 1998.
August 1, 1998.
August 3, 1998.
August 5, 1998.
August 8, 1998.
August 11, 1998.
August 15, 1998.
K 2 announced the Truth at Fri, 21 Aug 1998 16:45:10 -0400:
I climb to the top of the concrete slab which forms my abode and read aloud form The Holy Book, that the world shall be enlightened by Its Wisdom. The Holy Page (page two) is consumed in a flash, filling the hollow sphere in which Acka resides with Murrey smoke. As the smoke clears, I see the Machine That Goes *Ping* hovering above the top of my house (roughly the distance the pedestal of *ping* would raise it). According to the rules this means that at somepoint in the recent past I had a Dream in which The Truth in all its Glory was revealed to me. While the rules are definite about the fact that I should forget The Truth, surely I should have some recollection of The Dream? In order to hide the fact that I have forgotten both Dream and Truth, I hastily scribble the following on a piece of paper:
IF AND ONLY IF today ** *** ******** **** * ****** *** ******* ** ** ** *******, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
With any luck I'll remember The Truth before anyone attempts to guess it.
The Machine went *ping* on August 25, 1998.
K 2 lost the Machine that Goes *ping* by going to Gaol on Wednesday, August 26, 1998.
At Tue, 01 Sep 1998 22:37:46 -0400, K 2 posted the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today it was announced that a donkey was grabbed or it is Tuesday, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
Niccolo Flychuck found the Machine that Goes *ping* at Thu, 27 Aug 1998 14:21:18 -0400.
Niccolo lost the machine, and TJ found it, at Sat, 05 Sep 1998 18:28:37 -0400.
At Sat, 05 Sep 1998 20:15:29 -0400, TJ posted the Truth:
So, here I was sitting around my house and contemplating my recent visit to the vault of *that* book in the Library, and the Banana which was the only souvenier which I had to remind me of that very strange experience.
As I sat contemplating, I heard from out in the living room the strangest sound of whirring and grinding of gears accompanied by a soft melodic bell sound which seemed to play the notes to some almost rememberable song.
Bestirring myself slightly, I went out to the living room, and was very very surprised to find there an elegant machine, parts of which seemed almost to change before my very eyes. As I watched, slightly mesmerized, I feel into a very deep sleep.
In my dream, I was transported back to that primordial jungle that I had now visited twice by the auspices of the book. As I watched in wonder though, the strange denizens of this place no longer tried to worship me as they had the previous times I had come here. Instead, as I watched in amazement, they began to perform some sort of interpretive dance to the same almost familiar music which I had heard coming from the machine in my house.
As I watched, the meaning of the dance came to me, and suddenly I found myself awake, once again in my house, and with the following words reverbrating through my head.
"IF AND ONLY IF today *** **** ******* ******* * **** **** ** ****** ****** *** **** THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*"
I quickly scribbled this down since it was obvious from the garbled words above, that the meaning was already fading from my mind.
The Truth was corrected at Sat, 05 Sep 1998 21:11:24 -0400:
As I looked at this scribble a short time after I made it, I realized I had slightly misremembered the truth.
What follows below is really the truth, and I hope the scholars will forgive me for the small lapse caused by the confusion of waking up from such a strange dream.
IF AND ONLY IF today *** **** ** ********** ** ** ****** *** ****** ****** *** **** THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Wed, 16 Sep 1998 13:52:50 -0400, /dev/joe chose 'd' as the Magic Letter.
At Wed, 16 Sep 1998 13:58:13 -0400, JT filled in the truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** d*** ** ********** ** ** ****** *** ****** *****d *** **** THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Tue, 06 Oct 1998 13:44:13 -0400, A Mean Hat chose 'l' as the Magic Letter.
At Tue, 06 Oct 1998 13:54:49 -0400, JT filled in the truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** d*** ** ********** ** ** ****** *** ****l* *****d *** **** THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Thu, 15 Oct 1998 04:30:37 -0400, JT announced that, due to some harfing errors, e had released information about the Truth when e should not have. Therefore, e said that "I have weightier matters to research, such as the shape of the Earth", and revealed the truth to be:
IF AND ONLY IF today the date is twentyfive or an answer for Petals Around the Rose THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went *ping* on:
Sunday, 6 September 1998.
Tuesday, 8 September 1998.
Thursday, 10 September 1998.
Saturday, 12 September 1998.
Monday, 14 September 1998.
Wednesday, 16 September 1998.
Friday, 18 September 1998.
Sunday, 20 September 1998.
Friday, 25 September 1998.
Friday, 2 October 1998.
Sunday, 4 October 1998.
Tuesday, 6 October 1998.
Thursday, 8 October 1998.
Saturday, 10 October 1998.
Monday, 12 October 1998.
Wednesday, 14 October 1998.
At Thu, 15 Oct 1998 04:33:27 -0400, the Machine appeared in Fortunato's House.
At Thu, 22 Oct 1998 09:06:11 -0400, Fortunato revealed the following:
I was sitting in the Monolith the other day, thinking to myself, "Perhaps it shouldn't cost so much to add to this thing, and perhaps the rewards should be greater..." when I fell into a deep sleep. When I awoke, I found before me a curious device, covered with lights and switches. Used to this sort of thing by now, I tossed it in a corner, on top of some odd matchbox, several interesting trinkets, a strange Whamiol-shaped device, and other assorted items, and forgot about it.
Several days later, I had a most curious dream. I was standing in front of the device, and from it issues a penetrating hum. Then the outlines became blurry and indistinct, and the device vanished! I immediately felt a great sense of loss, and cried out to the heavens, "How, oh how may I retrieve this wondrous device?" As if in reply, the device reappeared before me, and words were spoken directly to my mind. This is what I heard, obscured somewhat to protect the unwary:
IF AND ONLY IF TODAY ** *** *********** ** ** ***** *** ****** ****** ****** ********* *********, THEN The Machine That Goes *Ping* SHALL GO *Ping*.
With that, I awoke, shrugged, and went about my business, never giving the device a second thought.
The Machine went *ping* on:
Monday, October 26, 1998.
Wednesday, October 28, 1998.
Thursday, October 29, 1998.
Sunday, November 1, 1998.
Monday, November 2, 1998.
Tuesday, November 3, 1998.
JT bid A$25 to have 't' selected as the Magic Letter at this point. Fortunato then revealed the Truth before the bidding period was up:
IF AND ONLY IF TODAY ** t** *********** ** *t ****t t** ***t** *t*t** *t*t** ********* *t*t*****, the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
Given all these difficulties, Fortunato decided to hand the Machine over. At Tue, 03 Nov 1998 13:58:17 -0500, e announced e had weightier matters to research, such as the shape of the Earth, and revealed the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF TODAY is the anniversary of at least two United States states achieving statehood, the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Tue, 03 Nov 1998 22:00:13 -0500, the Machine appeared in IdiotBoy's House.
At Wed, 04 Nov 1998 12:53:31 -0500, IdiotBoy revealed the Dream:
So I'm lying around the house, right? Doing my usual thing, you know enhancement and the like, when *POW* this machine shows up and starts yammering at me about this truth it wants to share. It went quite a bit like this:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** *** **** ** *** **** ** ********** ** *****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
I said, "Hey, wait a minute, that's too freakin' easy." But either something wore off or the Machine got all sullen. In any case, it didn't respond.
The Machine went *ping* on:
Friday, November 6, 1998.
Monday, November 9, 1998.
Tuesday, November 10, 1998.
Sunday, November 15, 1998.
Monday, November 16, 1998.
Saturday, November 21, 1998.
Wednesday, November 25, 1998.
Saturday, November 28, 1998.
Tuesday, December 1, 1998.
Thursday, December 3, 1998.
Friday, December 4, 1998.
Sunday, December 6, 1998.
At Mon, 23 Nov 1998 10:47:54 -0500, /dev/joe paid A$15 to get 's' as the Magic Letter. This was the only bid.
At Tue, 24 Nov 1998 17:16:31 -0500, IdiotBoy revealed the filled in Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** *** **** ** *** **** *s ********** ** s*****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Mon, 07 Dec 1998 12:45:28 -0500, IdiotBoy revealed the letter 'f', which JT had bid A$5 for:
IF AND ONLY IF ***** *** *** **** *f *** **** *s ********** ** s*****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
IdiotBoy left the game temporarily, and thus the Machine teleported to smallpox blanket.
Smallpox blanket did not reveal the truth within a week, and thus the Machine teleported to Robin Hood at Sat, 19 Dec 1998 01:33:02 -0500.
Robin Hood did not reveal the truth within a week, and thus the Machine teleported to K 2 at Sun, 27 Dec 1998 15:42:00 -0500.
At Wed, 30 Dec 1998 13:16:38 -0500, K 2 revealed the Dream:
While I was in the process of modifiying my house (attaching electrodes and what not to it so I could start it on a cource of aversion therapy - Do you want to be my home? No! *Zap* No! *Zap* etc) I notitced that the machine that goes *ping* had slunk back under my house. It has teleported elsewere after I surfed down the river and was subsequently found guilty of poluting the river; Anyway, after some discussion I forgave it and its now happily employed as a power source for the electrodes.
IF AND ONLY IF today ****** *** ****** ********** *** *** ***** *** ** ** ** ******, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went *ping* on:
Friday, January 1, 1999.
Wednesday, January 6, 1999.
Monday, January 11, 1999.
Wednesday, January 13, 1999.
Sunday, January 17, 1999.
Monday, January 18, 1999.
Tuesday, January 19, 1999.
Wednesday, January 20, 1999.
Thursday, January 21, 1999.
Friday, January 22, 1999.
Saturday, January 23, 1999.
At Mon, 18 Jan 1999 11:52:06 -0500, JT bid A$15 for a 'd'.
At Fri, 22 Jan 1999 10:34:47 -0500, K 2 revealed the filled Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today ****** *** *****d ********** *** *** ***** *** ** ** ** ******, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
K 2 went to Gaol for submitting too many proposals, and so revealed the Truth of the Machine at Sun, 31 Jan 1999 06:45:08 -0500:
IF AND ONLY IF today hubert was posted publically and its legal for it to go *ping*, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
ThinMan found the Machine at Sun, 31 Jan 1999 17:07:07 -0500.
E failed to post the truth within one week, and so lost the Machine.
O Olde Alpha found the Machine at Tue, 09 Feb 1999 01:18:12 -0500.
At Tue, 09 Feb 1999 19:07:03 -0500, O Olde Alpha posted the Dream:
I was dreaming of some strange faraway land, a sunny pleasure dome (with caves of ice!), when in one of its many antechambers I discovered a strange and expensive machine. Indeed the most expensive machine in the whole pleasure dome!
It relayed to me a truth which upon awakening to a knock at my door I partially forgot. It ran something like:
IF AND ONLY IF today *** ******* ***** * ******* ** * ****** *****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
But that can't be right. It's too easy.
The Machine went *ping* on:
Thursday, February 11, 1999.
Saturday, February 13, 1999.
Wednesday, February 24, 1999.
Thursday, February 25, 1999.
At Fri, 26 Feb 1999 17:20:15 -0500, Slakko pointed out that the Truth must be an unacceptable one, because the Machine went for seven consecutive days without a *ping*. The Machine teleported to Danek's house.
At Fri, 26 Feb 1999 18:26:36 -0500, O Olde Alpha posted the undisguised Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today the scholar posts a message to a public forum, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Sat, 06 Mar 1999 23:50:50 -0500, it was pointed out that Danek had failed to post the Truth within a week. The Machine teleported to Danek's house.
At Tue, 16 Mar 1999 22:24:11 -0500, it was pointed out that Slakko had failed to post the Truth within a week. The Machine teleported to else...if's house.
At Thu, 18 Mar 1999 17:06:00 -0500, else...if posted the disguised Truth of the Machine:
I was in my house (which I'm too lazy to describe) doing something (ditto) when something happened (bet I don't even need to include this parenthetical comment). As a consequence, a Machine (you guessed it) and told me a secret (but I'm too lazy to think of a good one):
IF AND ONLY IF today *** *** ** *** ****** ** *** **** *** *** ***** ** ***** ** * ******* ******, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Thu, 18 Mar 1999 19:30:13 -0500, /dev/joe called for the removal of the Scholar of *ping*, as the Truth contained more than the allowed twelve missing words.
At Thu, 18 Mar 1999 20:20:57 -0500, else...if revealed the fake Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today the sum of the digits of the date and the month is prime or a perfect square, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Thu, 18 Mar 1999 20:48:39 -0500, /dev/joe posted the Truth (legitimately this time):
I just had the strangest dream. I dreamt that the Scholar of *ping* announced a 17-word truth. After such a ridiculous event, I then dreamt that the Machine was in my house, and it was trying to tell *me* the truth. All I could really remember of it, though, was:
IF AND ONLY IF today ** ****** ** ********* *** *** ***** ******* ****** **, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went *ping* on:
Friday, 19th March, 1999.
Sunday, 21st March, 1999.
Friday, 26th March, 1999.
Sunday, 28th March, 1999.
Tuesday, 30th March, 1999.
Friday, 2nd April, 1999.
Sunday, 4th April, 1999.
Tuesday, 6th April, 1999.
Thursday, 8th April, 1999.
Friday, 9th April, 1999.
Sunday, 11th April, 1999.
Tuesday, 13th April, 1999.
Wednesday, 14th April, 1999.
Thursday, 15th April, 1999.
Friday, 16th April, 1999.
Saturday, 17th April, 1999.
Sunday, 18th April, 1999.
Wednesday, 21st April, 1999.
Thursday, 22nd April, 1999.
Friday, 23rd April, 1999.
Sunday, 25th April, 1999.
Tuesday, 27th April, 1999.
Wednesday, 28th April, 1999.
Thursday, 29th April, 1999.
Friday, 30th April, 1999.
Sunday, 2nd May, 1999.
Tuesday, 4th May, 1999.
Thursday, 6th May, 1999.
Saturday, 8th May, 1999.
Sunday, 9th May, 1999.
At Sat, 03 Apr 1999 10:39:52 -0500, rufus bid A$5 for a "t". This was the only bid.
At Sat, 03 Apr 1999 17:21:40 -0500, /dev/joe filled in the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today ** ****** ** ***t***** t** *** ***** ******* ****** **, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Tue, 13 Apr 1999 18:57:48 -0400 JT bid A$5 for a "b". This was the only bid received in time.
At Wed, 14 Apr 1999 19:28:34 -0400, /dev/joe filled in the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today ** ****** ** ***t***** t** *** ***** ******* ****** **, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Wed, 21 Apr 1999 19:51:40 -0400, IdiotBoy bid A$35 for an "f". This was the only bid.
At Thu, 22 Apr 1999 18:15:59 -0400, /dev/joe filled in the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today ** ****** ** ***t***** t** *** ***** ******* ****** **, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Fri, 30 Apr 1999 07:10:28 -0400, Slakko bid A$50 for an 's', the winning bid.
At Fri, 30 Apr 1999 18:23:36 -0400, /dev/joe filled in the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *s S***** ** **st***** t** *** ****s ******* ***s** **, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Sun, 09 May 1999 13:54:22 -0400, JT bid A$50 for an 'e', the winning bid.
At Mon, 10 May 1999 00:49:49 -0400, /dev/joe filled in the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today *s S***** ** *este**** t*e *** ***es ******e ***se* **, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
No-one guessed (at all, let alone successfully) within 3 days of the 30th *ping*, so /dev/joe revealed the Truth at Wed, 12 May 1999 00:47:29 -0400:
IF AND ONLY IF today is Sunday or yesterday the Dow Jones average closed up, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine appeared to Calvin N Hobbes at Mon, 31 May 1999 15:31:57 -0400.
Calvin N Hobbes revealed the Dream at Mon, 31 May 1999 16:42:14 -0400:
I wake up from a dream induced by this ancient technology and utter the Truth:
IF AND ONLY IF today * **** **** *** ******* **** ****, ** **** ** **** ****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went *ping* on:
Friday, 4th June 1999.
Saturday, 5th June 1999.
Sunday, 6th June 1999.
Tuesday, 8th June 1999.
Wednesday, 9th June 1999.
Thursday, 10th June 1999.
Saturday, 12th June 1999.
Tuesday, 15th June 1999.
Wednesday, 16th June 1999.
Friday, 18th June 1999.
Sunday, 20th June 1999.
Tuesday, 22nd June 1999.
Wednesday, 23rd June 1999.
Thursday, 24th June 1999.
Saturday, 26th June 1999.
Sunday, 27th June 1999.
Tuesday, 29th June 1999.
Wednesday, 30th June 1999.
After the 6th *ping*, the winning bid was A$27 for 'f' from IdiotBoy.
Calvin N Hobbes filled in the Truth at Fri, 11 Jun 1999 02:56:36 -0400:
IF AND ONLY IF today * F*** **** *** ******* **** ****, ** **** ** **** ****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
After the 12th *ping*, the winning bid was A$25 for 'e' from Slakko.
Calvin N Hobbes filled in the Truth at Wed, 23 Jun 1999 00:06:25 -0400:
IF AND ONLY IF today * FEE* ***E **E ******E **** ****, ** **** ** **** ****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Wed, 23 Jun 1999 10:07:33 -0400, Laa Laa guessed the Truth to be:
If and only if today I feel like the machine will ping, it will do just that.
This was incorrect.
After the 18th *ping*, the winning bid was A$31 for 't' from Dragon Mage.
Calvin N Hobbes filled in the Truth at Thu, 01 Jul 1999 01:33:10 -0400:
IF AND ONLY IF today * FEE* ***E T*E ******E **** ****, ** T**T *T ***T ****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Thu, 01 Jul 1999 02:33:06 -0400, Dragon Mage guessed the Truth to be:
If and only if today, I feel like the machine will ping, or that it must ping, then the machine that goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
This was correct, and Dragon Mage became the new Scholar of *ping*.
At Thu, 01 Jul 1999 23:46:55 -0400, Dragon Mage posted the Dream:
After returning from the library, I fell into into my bed and dreamed a horrible dream of the Ackanomicon, the Elders, Phoebe and the Machine. Waking, covered in a chill sweat, I heard the sounds of clicks and beeps which somehow made sense to my fevered brain. Entering the living room of my house, I found there the Machine, and here is what I can remember of the strange sounds that it uttered.
IF AND ONLY IF today *** ******** ****** *** ****** ************ ***** ******* ********* ** *****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Fri, 16 Jul 1999 19:58:28 -0400, /dev/joe guessed the Truth to be:
IF AND ONLY IF today the Ackazens having the titles Scaremongers wrote defined messaging in dorum, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
This guess was (unsurprisingly) incorrect.
After the 6th *ping*, K 2 bid A$27 for an 'e'.
Dragon Mage filled in the Truth at Mon, 19 Jul 1999 12:17:39 -0400:
IF AND ONLY IF today **e ***e**** ****** *** ****e* *e**e*e***** ***** ******* *e*e**ee* ** ****e, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
After the 12th *ping*, the winning bid was by IdiotBoy - A$30 for an 'f'.
A German Dog filled in the Truth at Wed, 04 Aug 1999 02:15:12 -0400:
IF AND ONLY IF today **e ***e**** ****** *** ****e* *e**e*e***** ***** ******* *e*e**ee* ** ****e, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
After the 18th *ping*, the winning bid was by rufus - A$15 for a 'n'.
A German Dog filled in the Truth at Sat, 21 Aug 1999 03:36:06 -0400
IF AND ONLY IF today **e *n*e**** *****n *** n***e* *e**e*en**** ***** ******* *e*en*een ** ****e, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
At Sat, 21 Aug 1999 04:48:34 -0400, K 2 guessed the Truth to be:
IF AND ONLY IF today the integral Julian day number representing today modulus seventeen is prime, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
This was correct, so K 2 became the Scholar of *ping*.
The Machine went *ping* on:
Friday, 2nd July 1999.
Thursday, 8th July 1999.
Friday, 9th July 1999.
Sunday, 11th July 1999.
Tuesday, 13th July 1999.
Saturday, 17th July 1999.
Monday, 19th July 1999.
Sunday, 25th July 1999.
Monday, 26th July 1999.
Wednesday, 28th July 1999.
Friday, 30th July 1999.
Tuesday, 3rd August 1999.
Thursday, 5th August 1999.
Wednesday, 11th August 1999.
Thursday, 12th August 1999.
Saturday, 14th August 1999.
Monday, 16th August 1999.
Friday, 20th August 1999.
At Sun, 22 Aug 1999 01:36:51 -0400, K 2 posted the Dream:
I was like napping and stuff and this... like great big thing dropped on my head y'know... and now I've like totally forgotten what I was y'know dreaming about -
IF AND ONLY IF today *** ******** ***** *** ******** *****'* ***** ****** ** *****, THEN the Machine That Goes *ping* shall go *ping*.
The Machine went *ping* on:
Monday, 23rd August 1999.
Wednesday, 25th August 1999.
Friday, 27th August 1999.
Tuesday, 31st August 1999.
Thursday, 2nd September 1999.
Page by: Joseph DeVincentis, Aaron Humphrey, Duncan Richer.
Last Updated Saturday, September 04, 1999