Parade Descriptions
Proposal Parade 1276: The Guest of Honour, Habeous Corpus, posted the following description at Sat, 05 Oct 1996 10:41:31 EDT:
In commemoration of the wonderful Parade thrown by snowgod in honor of the passage of Proposal 1276, Grab-a-Donkey, I would like to offer the following eye-witness account.
As the marching band and floats queu up in front of Habeous Corpus' residence, the citizens of Ackanomia gather in the Free Market, drawn by President snowgod's garish banners addorning a portable tavern parked directly in front of the Senate. From the Senate balcony, the president and three fourths of the Senate gaze upon the colorful costums worn by various Ackzens; only snowgod's nervous fingering of eir wallet marring the obvious feeling of joy on their faces.
At a signal from Habeous Corpus, triumphantly bearing the Great Trombone of Ackanomia, the marching strikes up a tune: a raucus rendition of "Pensylvania 6-5000". The parade stately starts off headed for the Senate, flamboyant floats filled with flowers and people dressed in finery following.
The lead float is a 12 foot high reproduction of the Chartruese Goose, complete with Goose eggs. Contained within each artificial egg is a right-handed grapefruit, but as they are completely concealed, no one tries to steal an egg of the float. Next come floats representing the various goals of Ackanomic Philosophy: A giant Eniac computer, spewing forth logical answers to nonsense questions; an hiena, constantly braying at the questions, and answers; a solid gold frog, twelve year old scotch pouring from its mouth into a large punch bowl; and lastly, a 25 foot long float in the shape of a violin case, the timeless symbol of underworld muscle. Inside the violin case, however, is only a handful of cash, an empty ballot box and a small coffin, commemorating the early demise of one of Acka's oldest political parties.
As the marching band and floats semi-solemnly make their way through the free market approaching the senate, the revellers momentarily pause in their carrousing to send up a loud cheer directed at both President snowgod and Senator Habeous Corpus.After snowgod acknowledges the affection of the crowd, e returns to nervously counting the remains of eir wallet. Habeous Corpus temporarily halts the progress of the parade so that e and the other members of the procession may sample snowgods generousity before continuing on.
Proposal Parade 1376: The Guest of Honour, Malenkai, posted the following description at Sat, 09 Nov 1996 07:05:38 -0500:
The following describes the Parade resulting from P 1376, and said description is interesting:
The Parade, it began when it was getting closer to Midwinter's, a dark cold eve, and not before long and some time ago, people marched to and fro; Trombone music I heard. The troupe wandered on, and I lost track of time in my intoxicating euphoria the mushroom of the wilds gave me.
Then, of course, all of Ackanomia was really just trying to march along to Jara's rhythm, to follow behind /dev/joe with an upbeat tempo, along old roads, beside the tattered buildings, those the map has forgotten 'cause of thieves of time unknown before even Acka's origin.
So we followed after the Great Trombone, crawling on our knees, through the Gaol district, some time after sunset, rather late is was, thick in night's blackness and starkness. Then a gnarly Gnome from the underbrush, a Gnome that I seem to remember, happened to jump out upon us. I asked a bug, a Flea hidden in a grassy clearing, from whence did obviously this Gnome come? Untouched by repeals? Survived for voting, for uncounted millenia?
That was when I ran! So rattled was I, scared and overcome by dread, shocked by something unthinkable. From the otherside, some ominous power had come here and conjured some bizzare magic, resurrecting the Gnome of Voting, bringing back that horror to this place.
The Parade did in fact, continue towards the Senate, near town center, just somewhat north of Xanadu. Then back the other direction, just clearing the southern area bracketed by two Towers. By about this time, two monkeys, hidden in oak barrels behind some trees, joined the Parade. Older, were these monkeys, than dirt. I had the feeling that the universe (or its edge), was some sort of an extension of these ancient monkeys' conscienceness. A statue of a monkey, made exquisitely and beautifully of some sort of onyx, came into view. Such monkeys are brass statues usually, but others have just very recently been discovered (and were rumored always to exist).
About three hours later, in the middle of the night, a dusty Codex was found. Codex of the Wisdom of Kra? I opened it, but its language being heretofore undecipherable, it really never should have been seen here.
The Parade, it continued. A monkey said: "Tell me who you are. Why then, are you here? Is the great universe really worthy of your presence?" One should look at who is questioning, and shall understand and really know to adamantly ignore the monkeys! Quest for Tao then, instead.
Look to the otherside, to the place whence the Ancient Ones bringing the treasure came from. Overlords of the Dominion of Jara they were, having locked all scientific knowledge away from our Priests, for all the countless millenia. You must think only pure thoughts, for those thoughts will come with a subtle clue, a fleeting glimpse into prime reality...
Then a number of large frogs of gold with bronze heads joined the Parade. Shall we consider letting even these pathetic creatures have their day? Have a slim and none chance to accompany us to the Statue, to gaze at its beauty? Upon reflection, it seems, those were tough questions.
Riches are easy answers, and those Paraders with even the slightest clue then, shall come upon such riches that they must spend them, or be utterly and completely adorned with such, and with garish, tacky, ostentatious headwear that they'd need constructed a 230m Tower, not of wool or of cheese, or of ones private and very own carefully thought out design, to store them.
One last Parade question: Who thus goes and seeks across Acka for this most excellent valuable treasure? Tell me who shall do so and not then come to be called Gheezy the Greedy? Don't look now, but you don't really have that much time. At the absolute, very least, you shall have one minute. Not a big window, so you'll head east *fast*.
After they follow you, you should really begin to know how and why the road winds the ways it does. Unless, of course, you have buried your useless brain.
Treasure, it's like Parades, in many ways. The fact of it is they both really, truly should lead you to know the whereabouts and the easiest to find location of wealth. Wealth, of course, is really such a burden, its worth giving it away! At the absolute very least, give all but A$50 to the Speaker. As Parades wind down, they often circle and are very rowdy. As such frink for yourself a coke, and be proud of every last individual Proposal you've written, they make Acka great. Should you come to have any doubt in their very grandeur and greatness, check what is recorded Elsewhere in song, in prose, and in verse.
Proposal Parade 1476: The Guest of Honour, Malenkai, posted the following description at Tue, 10 Dec 1996 00:01:04 -0500:
The following parade description is interesting.
The parade started at /dev/house, where the Great Trombone was picked up. More musicial accompaniment was needed, though, because trombone music was being supplanted by tales of monsters and marshes that could not be interrupted. So the troupe circled Xanadu 1187 times until mr cwm chimed in with musical accompaniment.
Given life by Proposal 1476, the parade searched on. Round and round the earth it went, looking for the 254 votes. Found not were these votes, so it pressed on down Roosevelt Blvd, towards Cow Town. Through a strange tangle of mist and vines it passed, as each molecule of water in Cow Town's lake was now suspended from the earth by tethers, held not by gravity. How the flood could impose such a state on water is a mystery only the AckaPhysicist can ravel, it is not a problem for parades to dwell on.
On we pressed to a carnival, where only one of every 4 cotton candy vendors was selling candy; the others hawked just fluff. An interesting sight we did see, a Gnome wearing a Silly Vacation Hat. Such was approproprite told was I by the Harfmeister, for the Gnome is not dead, only vacationing. Such words did cause those less civilised in the troupe to take to fighting, but such barbarism I did ingore, spurred on by that which is hidden behind proposal 1476, and by the nagging question: "is the Harfmeister hogging the harf?".
Proposal Parade 1576: The Guest of Honour, again Malenkai, posted the following description at Sun, 12 Jan 1997 11:09:23 -0500:
The following parade description is interesting.
The parade that started with proposal 1376 continued, although this one did not reveal clues to two treasures, unlike the previous two.
It continued north past an umbrella salesman to Somewhere Else, its author hoping not to submit proposal 1676. It twisted around, spelling with the footprints of the troupe: "Since we have a proposal bot now, it should be pretty easy to get the parade proposal, or any proposal number you want, so that should not be a problem, unless those treasures are still not found, and I need to write more clues, then I can just take P 1676 at that time, I suppose."
Proposal Parade 1776: The Guest of Honour, /dev/joe, posted the following description at Sat, 15 Mar 1997 00:42:01 -0600:
The following description is interesting.
It had been a while since the whole band got together, and /dev/joe was all prepared to lead the parade with the Great Trombone, but only a day or two before the parade, the instrument which had seemingly become a permanent fixture in /dev/house had disappeared. For the first time in several cycles, /dev/joe had managed to accumulate more than 152 points before somebody won the cycle, resetting the scores.
So /dev/joe went out with a kazoo, and found Techno with the Great Tuba to help get the parade started. He brought the Brass Monkey along, as we next traveled to Jam Session. Jammer was there, and for the special occasion he wheeled out the Mighty Wurlitzer and the Brass Monkey towed it around Ackanomia.
Next we picked up Strider at his house, playing his Mighty Bass. Then the undead of Ludwig joined in with his Drum Set of the Undead. The other players joined in the parade as we passed their houses, playing whatever instruments they could find.
Finally, the Fat Lady stepped forth from the Courthouse as all the players were marching in step with Techno's tuba playing. The Fat Lady didn't sing, but it was clear that she was warming up.
= = =
After the parade was over, as we were returning to our houses, the Brass Monkey boomed out, "/dev/joe, you forgot to leave a clue to your treasure in this Parade description!"
I responded, "I've already dropped one elsewhere, and that's enough for now."
The Brass Monkey thought about this, and was clearly vexed.
After some time the monkey was still considering it, and steam was coming from his head. The monkey's expression showed that he was becoming annoyed.
Finally, I asked the monkey, "Surely you've figured this out by now!" The monkey was not about to take this sort of harassment, and stood up, preparing to chase after me. Good thing the monkey is slow getting up, because it gave me a head start toward /dev/house, which I just managed to make it to before the monkey did. Disgusted at the whole puzzle, and at failing to catch me, the Brass Monkey returned to the base of the Monument to Futility, awaiting his next climb.
Proposal Parade 2176: The Guest of Honour, /dev/joe, posted the following description at Tue, 8 Jul 1997 15:09:15 -0500
The following parade description is interesting.
All the players of Acka gathered for the parade, which began in front of one of Ackanomic's most famous buildings, where a jolly red A was dancing. We passed a B standing on the side of the road, who reminded us of something which Acka holds sacred. A character right out of Tolkien was holding a small C. We reached the shore, where a D was swimming in a small arm of water. An E standing there told us a story about a fabulous place, which some say is round. We saw a stand of what looked like those things you use to help put on tight footwear; they were covered with F's. But they weren't real -- these had fangs shaped like G's, and we know there's no such thing. Barney Rubble's wife then joined the parade, wearing a dress shaped like an H. A dark, sinister, evil-looking I was lying in the road and most of the paraders tripped on it; one of them felt as if he'd gained +2/+1, though. The next thing we saw was amazing -- a name from acka's past -- which was covered with tiny J's everywhere. Another word followed it, covered with K's; this was one of the silliest words we could imagine. At this point, we realized that the sun had ascended past the L-shaped clouds. Through somebody's lack of ability, we missed seeing the M entirely. But soon we went through an area where the road was covered with small, N-shaped stones. Then we ran into the thief from the YORL story, who we caught stealing an O from the sign of some building. Next we encountered the last of a dying breed, those who craft headwear for players who have been on vacation for a long time; one of them was working on a chapeau with a P atop it. Next we entered Acka's baseball stadium, where the world series was about to begin; since Toronto was playing this year, they played both "O Canada" and "The Star Spangled Banner", and some strange beast shaped like a Q delivered the words in a beautiful voice. John Lennon was there too; he followed those other songs by singing one of his own, while wearing a jacket with a large R painted on the back. Finally we paraded on out of the stadium, and we met an S who suggested we play one of Acka's sub-games. Next we met a T quoting maxims; but the parade was loud, so all we heard was "Do unto ...." Near him was a U also quoting stuff; we heard the end of one of his sentences, "... is not gold." A rabid-looking V ran past us shouting out some web address. Finally, we ended our trip near a group of small pools of water, one of which somewhat resembled the one Cow Town is in, but when we looked into it there was just a W at the bottom. Now, some of us were disappointed we did not encounter an X, Y, or Z on our trip, but I went home and tried to make a record of the trip.
Birthday Parade 2: The Guest of Honour, Calvin N Hobbes, posted the following description at Sat, 24 Jan 1998 00:03:58 -0800 (and received the 4th Silver Moon for it):
From a contented slumber, I am shaken to consciousness by an exuberant youngster. He is shouting "You are the Guest of Honor! You are the Guest of Honor!"
"Hey breadbox, it is you" says I. Slowly getting up from the couch -- ever since an encounter with Mold and Scold went away, the bed has vanished -- and remember that it is Ackanomic's birthday. Humbled and probably turn bright red, I can only utter "Thanks breadbox." Who knows, perhaps that means the Monkey's off my back... And so I follow him out, wondering what it will be like. A behold, wonder of wonders! The streets of Ackanomic are bursting with youth and exhilaration!!
It is a colorful display of love and peace (although there is a rumor the color orange is missing) and confetti are being showered on everyone and everything. I join it as it passes by my house, cheering, tickled pink at the sight of two nuts talking by a fireplace. You know it's going to be a great parade when you see nuts in the streets. : )
We pass by two neighboring houses, owned by giants of Acka, Malenkai's and Wayne's. A few people start throwing twirling tapes at these house, and I join in the fun. Passing next to the Hall of Elders, we see a number of other giants protected forever there, waving to their heirs. As we then all proceed past the Ackanomic Afterlife and toward the Senate, I wonder aloud where the barman and drinks went! Fortunately, some party animal has brought various liquids for player consumption. Hurray!
In front of the Senate, a brawl develops between "those stinkin' rebels!" and "you evil overlords!" to the great amusement of the other players. There are bets being taken by the underground Godfather, of course, but someone points towards Cow Town and the parade makes it way there. A few thread splitters try to split hairs, but everyone is best buddies, as the pleasant crowd takes in the scenery and monuments. Music is being pumped out, a cool trombone singing above the rest.
Some players have started showing their special tricks. Malenkai has gotten out a surfboard and is showing intrigued observers how to surf. Our president Alfvaen shows everyone how to pull ropes. Even the elusive Phoebe makes an appearance to perform her amazing disappearing act for everyone!
The party goes on into the night and the crowd gathers together, as stories of old are told and great visions of the future shared. The boisterous chants of the day are replaced by the delicate murmurs of the night. Candles are lit and laughter sprinkled. The deep ties of brotherhood created and reaffirmed between evil twins. No one wants to be the first to leave, yet as morning breaks, small groups are headed away, arms over shoulders. What a parade!
With a wonderfully healthy feeling of contented exhaustion, I drag my feet home. Passing by the Ackanomic Afterlife, I spot the talented owner of the Great Trombone, The Gingham Wearer, who is searching for his trombone in the knee high piles of confetti. And as I enter my garden, a happy tune can be heard, from a found-again Trombone. Then, as a new day, a new year, and a new age dawns on Ackanomic, voices join the mighty instrument in a gloried chorus.
Spring is coming.
Proposal Parade 2786: The Guest of Honour, Alfvaen, posted the following description at Thu, 26 Mar 1998 00:52:14 -0500:
Alfvaen's active authorship
Becames bizarre basis of
Celebration! Cymbals and clarions
Disturb with din, destroying
Elemental equilibrium with ecstatic
Fanfares, frissons, and felicitations!
Garbed in Gingham, gamely
Hooting Harfmeister! How
Interesting indeed! Incredible
Juxtapositions of juggling, jumping,
Kicking, kittens with kites,
Laughing lycanthropes, even librarians
Mamboing maniacally to music,
Nimble nymphs, nutating,
Oscillating--over oaks,
Past pines, perplexing
Quixotic queens, quaking
Rooks, rafting regattas,
Swingers surfing serenely,
Trombone tooting throughout!
Understand? Useless, the universe
Vexed! Verily, very
Weird! Well, watch the
Xiphoid xebecs! Xenophobes
Yearn for youth, year
Zero zest or zen!
The above Parade Description was responsible for Alfvaen winning a Silver Moon, at Sat, 09 May 1998 12:24:30 -0400
Proposal Parade 2976 - The Guest of Honour, Slakko, posted the following description at Wed, 13 May 1998 17:45:56 -0400:
The following is a Description of the P2976 parade, and it is interesting.
The Parade started, unusually for a Parade, at the banks of the Ackan River. Those who have attempted in the past to raft down it had prepared a giant inflatable raft as the first of our floats. It was inflated by the side of the river, tied down to some wheels, and then we were away!
The path took us through the Wilds, but this path was well-beaten so we were not afraid. We knew the B-Ack lurked in the bushes, but we were making far too much noise. Surprisingly, Hubert and Calvin N Hobbes were keeping quite quiet, but the rest of us formed a raucous mob to drown out the silence with a party type of noise.
Our path through the Wilds emerged into a couple of relatively new looking and undescribed houses. the combinations of visions involved, the realisations of personal impressions, had the buildings flickering and wobbling with every person looking at the house and then away again. Quite a sight on the video, or so I'm told. Beyond these houses lay the Monolith. The parade camped out at the monolith, whereupon a second float was added. This one had been contributed by all those whose funds have gone to build the monolith, being a 1:2 scale model in cotton candy, laid down horizontally and then emblazoned with the null shields of all those who contributed. A most fine float if I may say so.
From the Monolith we walked past Vulcan Headquarters. A couple of the parade members knocked, but none were let in. Instead, a great rain of flowers descended upon the parade from the Headquarters, and was quickly sculpted to form the third float.
When we were finally past Vulcan Headquarters, a long walk indeed, the Parade formed into a circle about the newest Common Location, the Harfonian Institute. The Guest of Honour being the Archivist, e entered the Institute, to pick up all the exhibits and display them to the populace assembled. An awe-inspiring sight it was, and then e built large replicas of each Exhibit, the fourth and fifth floats.
From there, we started to lose track of the exact Parade direction a little. I seem to remember it going past the Hall of Elders, thence to the Senate and the Town Hall. I don't recall dancing naked, but odds are that someone was crazy enough to try it.
I awoke the following morning back in my own house. Well, to an extent. In fact I was perched high on top of the water tower, clutching an oversized novelty traffic cone. It's not a good night if you don't get a traffic cone. What a Parade!
Proposal Parade 3076 - The Guest of Honour, Alfvaen, posted the following description at Thu, 04 Jun 1998 01:19:52 -0400:
First, each different type of Organization had a float, save only the VSOs. Of course, Mr. Tambourine Man led off with the Great Trombone, though eir Party was, by lot, further back. Razor Boomerangs' led off, the Political Party and the Church in a joint float to symbolize the lack of separation between Church and politics. Their float was covered with samples of their namesake, and they tossed some samples into the crowd, causing massive loss of limb everywhere about.
Harf was next, with a float festooned with harf of all descriptions, and some which could not be described in any language known to man(though perhaps not the Ancients). Evil Ballot Stuffers' Church followed them(having manipulated the lot-drawing to get a position close to the front). Out of the sides of their float came a sort of ticker-tape parade of ballots, all stamped with the names of various members of their Priesthood.
Next came MetaMorph, with Niccolo Flychuck waving beatifucally to the crowds below, and J. M. Bear, the Swinger and junior member, pushing from behind. Ensconced in the back was a representative of Pumpkin Patch Nomic, brought in specially for the occasion. They Might Be Slumbering Giants followed with by far the largest float, its representatives being carried on huge soft platforms, and resonant snores issuing therefrom. Rampant speculation swept through the crowd as to which ones, if any, were actually slumbering, but nobody could tell for sure. Yet more speculation followed the passage of the Markovian Dream float, since nobody there could tell whether it was a Church or just a Cult.
Then came Klingon, with Mr. Tambourine Man(but wasn't e at the front playing the Trombone?) and the other members brandishing their ritual Klingon weapons and engaging in ritual combat. Happily, they didn't injure nearly as many people as the Razor Boomerangs had. Everybody went quiet for the next Party, though, and some started to boo but were quickly hushed by the former members of the Committee for Understanding. Vulcan's float was very logically designed, everything in order, a miniature replica of Vulcan Headquarters, with an animatronic replica of saaremaa manning the catapult.
Incongruously, after the logic of Vulcan came the chaos of the Church of Azpiazu. Granted, the float was as formless and amorphous as it could be while still being on wheels, but that formlessness and amorphosity seemed to shift from moment to moment. Easier on the eyes, and the mind, was the Shell #10 float, which seemed hastily slapped together so as to be eligible for the parade. Nevertheless, it was an admirable collection of various shells, that didn't even look like cardboard until you got close.
Even though their Founder was represented only by a replicant, the Church of the Righteous Loophold Surfers came next. Reputedly denying that the Church's name contained a typo, they brandished surfboards(of all colours including green)with attached loopholders. Elected to follow them was the party SPAM, somewhat reduced in size from its earlier glory days, but still surviving. Cans of processed meat products festooned their float, as well as an old portrait of the Fearless Alibi Possessor from SPAM's long-ago heyday of misdemeanour punishment.
In the next float was Kerplunk, kerplunk III, with Mr. Tambourine Man (again?), playing the tambourine this time, and the rest of the membership there mostly for decoration(being encased in plaster in various positions around the float). Precisely what the purpose was for this organization, considering the scam it was created for was long gone, but here it was. Here, also, was the Treasure Hunting League, whose float was sizeable but from which little activity emanated. Every member seemed to be puzzling over a set of incomplete maps.
Randomly positioned in the middle was the Church of the Good Ballot Stuffer, unable to better its position as its Evil counterpart was. There was, unfortunately, no sample of its namesake Gadget to display, but a replica was made available for perusal, and a petition to ban the Evil Ballot Stuffer entirely. Hard on their heels was SHEEP, whose founder had pioneered the BAA! vote, but had still to live up to eir promise to pay A$2 to every BAA! voter. E probably had realized that that would have broken the Organization by now.
Kings and other PartyChessPieces proudly displayed, Party Hall's float was a wonder to behold, with Mr. Tambourine Man appearing here as well, as the Swinger for Klingon. E seemed to be simply everywhere in this Parade. Yet e was not on the Player Sanctioned Organization Preservation Society float, which handed out pamphlets on how the Rules must remain in a state where such Organizations were possible. It all seemed a bit pointless, of course, with Societies in the Rules as firmly as anything could be in Nomic. Still, nobody wanted to hurt their feelings, so many people took pamphlets anyway.
The surprise entry in the Parade, an Organization that most people forget about, was the Mad Hatters. Hats of all types not regulated by the Rules festooned eir float, although they were devoid of Agenda Hats. Everyone seemed happy with the ones they had. Lovely flowers from Guatemala(some of them deadly poisonous)decorated the float of the Moral Kiosk, which otherwise looked sort of like a blend of Shell#10's and Kerplunk, kerplunk III's. An actual kiosk formed the centerpiece, from which the members handed out slips of papers with morals on them.
Senate, another Unique Organization, followed, the Senators trying to look busy but mostly failing. Trailing them was Niccolo Flychuck, who carried a sign reading "Bring Back Ad Hoc Organizations!", and questioned whether the Senate was necessary at all. Earth-shaped(or so they claim)balloons hovered above the float of the Church of banna, last of the true Organizations in the Parade. Intent witch-hunters pursued them, trying to pin them down in heresy, but they were mostly unsuccessful.
General speculation abounded as to what would follow the Organizational floats. Heavy betting was on the VSO's being allowed in as well, although some speculated about former Organizations or non-Organizations as well. The real answer was: some of each.
First, after a slight pause, was the Cubical Earth Implementation Society. Overjoyed at recent donations, the Society(which was not an Organization, though it could theoretically be an entity)proudly displayed the Gadgets it owned. RexBank followed after that, one of the oldest and best-used of the one-player scam organizations. Though briefly a full-fledged Society, it was now once again a VSO. Having also been deprived of full Society status, the Aaronic League followed next, with Alfvaen and Fortunato holding up a non-rule-sanctioned cardboard cutout of Bill the pirate king between them, surrounded by pots filled with Aaron's Rod.
Everyone was surprised by the next float, for the Supreme Court. Only an Organization in the broadest sense of the term, yet perhaps deserving of the same designation as the Senate, the various Cortices(two Justices grafted to each)passed majestically by the murmuring parade-watchers. The next float, even more shocking, was the Cabinet, one of the oddest of Ackanomic's entities. Housed within it was the trinket "Beware The Forbidden Fruit!", a piece of advice ignored many times by President Alfvaen during his terms of office.
Everyone(except possibly those on the Vulcan float)cheered the next float, that of the onetime Rebellion. Rebels at one time or not, the owners of the "I opposed P2241" trinkets waved them about and made neat noises. Canine's Tattoo Parlor made a very poor showing next, with only a replica of Karma(the real one being in a block of ice)and a few samples of tattoos. Only represented by its founder, /dev/joe, and ThinMan, the Cult of Seleya nonetheless contained a very detailed model of the holy Vulcan mountain. Unless the Cult becomes a Church once more, though, its influence on Ackanomic will surely be minimal.
Next was the Flat Earth Preservation Society, showing diagrams of the huge scissors it would use to cut the huge tether that attached the upper hemisphere to Ackanomic. Told that the Round Earth Restoration Society had already reattached the hemisphere, they unveiled plans for a combination pry-bar and water-pik to send it once again bouncing to the end of its tether. Then came another odd miscellaneous entity, the Brass Pot for the game of Ye Olde Rusty Lantern. Hovering over it possessively, counting his chickens, was Alfvaen. Encouraging peace between the Vulcans and the Rebels, the former members of the Committee for Understanding, on the next float, also praised the MetaMorph party for allowing the Pumpkin Patch Nomic to join as a member.
Looking with some disdain on the members of the Flat Earth Preservation Society, the Round Earth Restoration Society had a float with diagrams of the huge winches it planned to use to reattach the bottom hemisphere of Ackanomic. Even when it was pointed out that the bottom hemisphere's tether had been severed, they insisted that they could construct a huge Electrolux to suck it back into place. Then came the Twits, or rather the prospective Twits. Twit Alfvaen kept giving money to Twit Mr. Tambourine Man, but so far nobody else had admitted their twitness and joined them. Eventually, it was time for the last float, that of the scam VSO Religious Nutcase, which(again)featured Mr. Tambourine Man, playing a mournful melody on the Great Trombone, just before it was snatched from eir hands.
Relieved it was over, everyone admitted that the Parade had been a bit strained, with things arranged haphazardly, a few too many editorial comments, and a lot of awkward phrasing. Still, it was interesting.
Proposal Parade 3576 - The Guest of Honour, JT (despite breadbox actually authoring 3576), posted the following Parade Description at Thu, 24 Sep 1998 00:28:36 -0400:
Everyone gathers in front of the town hall steps for the parade to start, with the course of the parade layed out so that it winds all the way through the City, out into the Wilds along the course that the rafting trips normally take and then back into the City to wind up at the foot of the Lonely Mountain.
Leading the parade is JT, followed very closely by /dev/joe and Anathema. Right behind them comes Saaremaa who is carrying high quality replicas of the items that constituted the Jukkasjarvi Treasure. Right behind him are all the members of the Treasure Hunting League who haven't yet been seen, and behind them come the rest of the players of Ackanomic, Phoebe, The Fat Lady and the Brass Monkey falling into whatever order seems most appropriate at the time and changing slightly as the parade wears on.
As the parade passes by the river, a moment of thanksgiving is had for the two recent successful rafting trips.
As we return to the Lonely Mountain, there is a lovely display of fireworks setting the night ablaze, with the various fireworks displaying ancient and harfy images from Acka's past.
Proposal Parade 3776 - The Guest of Honour, K 2, posted the following Parade Description at Sun, 06 Dec 1998 01:48:14 -0500:
There was a parade. It was nice. We all had a good time and the new silly phrase is "publicly posts Hubert".
Proposal Parade 3876 - The Guest of Honour, JT, posted the following Parade Description at Thu, 17 Dec 1998 02:14:09 -0500:
"Testing, testing 0000001512-14-15-23-09-05-26-30-03-05-27-17-23-09=75. Hello everyone and welcome to the parade. Everything seems to be in working order so we should get started."
"Could everyone gather at the town steps? I do have a particular order that I want to see people march in if they don't mind. Parties first please, then churches, then Corporations, and finally any unaffiliated players and entities. However, before we get underway, I'd just like to say that I am really happy to have Quorum repealed. Each and everyone one of you is responsible for that. Remember that as we go forth into this new Quorumless age of Acka."
I start by leading the parade down the center of town from the Town Hall steps to the base of the Lonely Mountain. Standing beneath it, we pay homage to those Elders who came before, and who shaped the Acka in which we live today.
Around the Mountain we circle, and then take the long and winding road down along the Ackanomic River to the site where there is sign informing Ackans to be careful as there is likely construction to be occuring there soon, hopefully.
Beyond the new bridge site, we continue through the Wilds until we come to the site where the last remnants of the Amber Banana Tree Grove. Only one tree still stands, commemorating the spot where once a whole grove of trees grew. On the ground next to the tree is a plaque, engraved in bronze bearing a blessing on the Tree and on Acka. "Keep the land and all of it's people safe", reads the plaque.
Continuing further, we come to the hut of the Voting Gnome. Outside the hut, he greets us and wishes us well, and says he hopes to see us soon, but he's only allowed to visit once a year. Departing from his home, we slowly wind our way through the Wilds and back to the city proper. Ending up back at the Town Hall steps, I thank everyone for attending, and wish everyone a happy and healthy new year in Acka.
Proposal Parade 4076 - The Guest of Honour, K 2, posted the following Parade Description at Fri, 26 Feb 1999 01:21:09 -0500:
Boring it may be, but it was still a parade - and what a parade. Never in the history of Ackanomic (1) has such a boring event been held. Although it may well have been indescribably boring, I shall none the less make an attempt....
The weather was perhaps the most interesting part (2) - Predominately a thick grey fog, which went a long way towards dampening sound, colour and the spectators in general. Thus, totally deprived of all sensory stimulation, players were forced to endure the speech without any interesting distraction to liven things up.
The speech? Long and sonorous; Its obligatory, you should'nt've needed to ask. In fact the malfunctioning PA system (3) contrived to turn it into a long sonorous silence - from there things got _really_ dull. Many players wheeled in their freshly acquired cardboard cut outs for the second half, those that didn't were asleep (4) that is.
Anyway, after it was over (i.e. after an infinitesimal period of time) everyone appeared at whatever-their-last-known-location-was with a dull head ache and a strong desire to watch grass grow.
You can WAKE-UP now :)
(1) Last Tuesday at about 12:37 came pretty close tho.
(2) The shear fact that I've mentioned the weather at all should be a reasonable indication of just how boring it was. Having weather in a piece of text is a sure sign you should stop reading it and have a nap instead.
(3) more likely it was absent; PA systems do have better things to you know. And now that they are unionized there are some events that are beyond the pale.
(4) Unconscious is more like it - many players were earlier seen to be smacking their head(s) against the town hall..
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Duncan Richer.