Gumball Archive
The Gumball is governed by rule 903.
snowgod (Phil Ackley) - Wednesday, April 24 1996
It is Wednesday, April 24, and in accordance with rule 495 I am chewing the gumball.
chess piece face (Paul Swan) - Thursday, May 2 1996
being that it is now thursday, alternately from last wednesday, i will now chew the gumball as defined in rule 495, though it is still slightly moist from it's previous chew...
See CFJ 166 about the legality of the above chewing.
this is not a name (Mike Epstein) - Thursday, May 2 1996
Oh, yeah? Well, I'm ripping the gumball out of your mouth and chewing it RIGHT NOW. And you can't stop me. Ha ha.
Dr McSpong (Julian Richardson) - Wednesday, May 22 1996
I am now chewing the gumball.
If anyone wants to chew the gumball today, make me an offer I can't refuse.
this is not a name (Mike Epstein) - Thursday, Jun 20 1996
So I was walking through the town square of Ackanomia peacefully late at night, trying to think of a way to settle the current, seemingly intractable dispute, and I saw a matchbox lying by the side of the path. It glittered, and it gleamed, but it turned out to have nothing but a cheap ad for mail-order stamps on the inside. It reminded me that I sorely miss the revelations of Ackanomia's resident Steel Flea.
But passing by the Library (which is due for a thorough renovation if the Historian ever stops neglecting his duties) I came across a strange pink substance sticking to the side of a tree. I looked more closely and discovered, lo and behold, a gumball.
So I brought it home, waiting anxiously for the third Thursday of this month. And now that that has come about, I proudly bite into the gumball.
snowgod (Phil Ackley) - Thursday, Jun 20 1996
Hey! It's something stuck to my shoe! Perhaps next time, this is not a name, you will place your gumball back where you found it after you are done chewing! After ripping the sticky sweet gumball remains out the traction crevices in my sole, I place it my mouth and begin to chew. I sure hope there are no diseases that can be transmitted electonically. Who says two people can't chew the gumball during the same day!
breadbox (Brian Raiter) - Wed, 11 Sep 1996 01:53:31 -0700 (PDT)
Unable to keep my mind on my research any longer, and noting that more than enough time has lapsed, I leave the Library and rush about Ackanomia, hither and yon, until I find: the Gumball.
I am now chewing the Gumball.
Calmer now, I return to the Library to resume my research. When the noisy voices of my fellow Ackanomians rises in volume, I take no notice. For I am at peace; I have chewed the Gumball of Ackanomia.
Guy Fawkes (Robert Shimmin) - Thu, 19 Sep 1996 19:10:11 -0500 (CDT)
Today being the third Thursday of the month, I am undeterred by the gumball's recent passage through the Little Lamb's digestive system, and I am chewing it.
Unfortunately, it leaves an unpleasant grassy aftertaste.
Calvin N Hobbes (Thierry Joffrain) - Wed, 9 Oct 1996 22:04:18 -0500
Realizing this may be completely out of date...
_If_ the gumball exists _and_ no other player has said this before me today:
I chew the gumball. It's kind of hard, not having been chewed on for a while, but good, with a cool minty fresh taste.
Calvin "chewing" Hobbes
23 Skidoo (Dave Fisher) - Wed, 11 Dec 1996 17:36:35 -0800
It bis now Wednesday, December the 11th, and I am sitting in my home, which is newly built, and resembles very much an construction site. Digging throughthe rubbish, looking for a copy of the rules to look through to better aqaint myself with the game in general), what should I come across but the old gumball, which has not been chewed in... how long? Anyway, I lift it to my mouth and chew, nearly chipping my teeth rock-hard substance. Is there something that happens now, something that would cause peoplee to not have chewed the gumball in so long?
/dev/joe (Joseph DeVincentis) - Thu, 6 Feb 1997 14:06:21 -0600 (CST)
It is the first Thursday of February, and I am chewing the gumball.
Mohammed (Jason Orendorff) - Thu, 6 Feb 1997 15:19:16 -0600 (CST)
It is the first Thursday of February, and I am chewing the gumball.
--Mohammed
suspicious
Guy Fawkes (Robert Shimmin) - Thu, 6 Feb 1997 16:56:00 -0600 (CST)
It is the first Thursday of February, and I too am chewing the gumball. I feel a strange wave of nausea pass over me, as if I have just caught some noxious Gumbally-transmitted disease. I will probably fall down with snowgod's disease, soon.
GF
stop GTD's
Mohammed (Jason Orendorff) - Thu, 20 Mar 1997 20:50:26 -0600
I wandered out my front door, thinking I might drop by breadbox's place and demand some back rent, when what to my wandering eyes should flatten me out and plow over my crushed body with squealing brakes and the roar of an internal combustion engine just barely under control, but a Jeep Cherokee, which then rips down the dirt road at a speed guaranteed to cause worry in any intelligent creature.
College students heading south for Thring Break, apparently.
As I tried to seperate my parts from those of my ex-mailbox, I noticed a gooey, stringy substance plastered to my chest. At first I thought it might be No Tea, but as it turns out, the stuff is not tubular at all, but instead stretchy. In fact, it seemed to stretch right up off my chest, past my left ear, and down the road as far as I could see, as if it had been (and in fact, still was) stuck to the tires of that Jeep.
I had but a second to ponder this when the substance finally reached the limit of its stretchability and yanked me bodily out of the road and started to drag me down the street. Desperately I tried to peel it out of my chest, but I only managed to get my hands enveloped, then my feet, then my head.
What the heck, I thought, I might as well enjoy myself. It is the third Thursday in March, and I am chewing the Gumball.
xebra bod (Brian Raiter) - Wed, 23 Apr 1997 09:06:44 -0700
Today is Wednesday, April 23rd 1997, and I am chewing what may or may not be Ackanomic's future liaison to Internomic.
Atilla the Pun (Micah Smukler) - Thu, 15 May 1997 14:08:34 -0400
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, but I am not chewing the Gumball.
Just kidding.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Today is Thursday, May 15, the third Thursday in May, and I am chewing the Gumball.
/dev/joe (Joseph DeVincentis) - Tue, 10 Jun 1997 23:07:01 -0500
Here goes nothing!
It is Wednesday, June 11th, the second Wednesday in June, and I am chewing the Gumball.
It is Wednesday, June 11th, a day with a prime date greater than seven, and I am chewing the Anti-Gumball.
Alfvaen (Aaron Humphrey) - Tue, 17 Jun 1997 00:02:31 -0600 (MDT)
Today is June 17th, a prime date greater than 7, and I am chewing the Anti-Gumball. Mainly because I chickened out on blowing myself up on Thursday.
Alfvaen (Aaron Humphrey) - Thu, 19 Jun 1997 15:01:13 -0600 (MDT)
I am going to the vacant kaa of land at K9 which I just bought, where, since it is the third Thursday of the month, and also a prime date greater than 7, I am chewing the Gumball and the Anti-Gumball. (I wasn't going to, but nobody else had, so, drama dictates...)
I can't wait for Malenkai to get out of Gaol so I can find out what just happened to me...:-)
Alfvaen (Aaron Humphrey) - Wed, 25 Jun 1997 15:43:46 -0600 (MDT)
It is Wednesday, June 25th, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Alfvaen (Aaron Humphrey) - Thu, 3 Jul 1997 11:00:38 -0600 (MDT)
It is July 3rd, the first Thursday in July, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Since there is currently no game rule to regulate it, I am also chewing the Anti-Gumball.
two-star (Alexandre Muniz) - Wed, 10 Sep 1997 13:34:08 -0700
I am requesting that Alfvaen reattach my house. Don't botch it!
I am destroying the Jaran Llama Blueprint.
I am removing my name from the CFJ Ineligibility List.
I am chewing the Gumball.
Alfvaen (Aaron Humphrey) - Wed, 26 Nov 1997 09:38:42 -0500
It is Wednesday, November 26, 1997, the fourth Wednesday in November, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Slakko (Duncan Richer) - Wed, 26 Nov 1997 12:54:01 -0500
That's right. It's the 26th of November, the fourth Wednesday of the month, and I rip the Gumball out of Alfvaen's mouth, hose it down with some water, dry it off with a hairdryer, and then start chewing. Despite all that, it tastes surprisingly good. Probably because there isn't a Spice Girl on the cover.
Today is the 26th of November, the fourth Wednesday of the month, and I am chewing the Gumball.
two-star (Alexandre Muniz) - Thu, 4 Dec 1997 21:10:34 -0500
Today is December 4, 1997, the first Thursday of the month, and I am chewing the Gumball.
Slakko (Duncan Richer) - Wed, 10 Dec 1997 12:08:07 -0500
Today is the 10th of December, the second Wednesday in the month, and I am chewing the gumball.
It still doesn't have a Spice Girl on the wrapper.
rufus (David Scheidt) - Thu, 1 Jan 1998 07:02:22 -0500
today is the first thursday of the month, os I am going to take this oppurtunity to chew the gumball. It is with great relief that I note that there is not a picture of a spice girl on the wrapper.
Slakko (Duncan Richer) - Thu, 15 Jan 1998 02:34:33 -0500
Today is January 15th, the third Thursday in January, and I am chewing the Gumball. It tastes like lint with a hint of mint, but that's understandable after all this time. It still has not a hint of Bonus Vote, but that's understandable too. Innocently but uselessly, I suck on the Gumball with this week's special edition "Savage Garden US No. 1" wrapper.
Slakko (Duncan Richer) - Thu, 5 Feb 1998 13:50:58 -0500
Today is the 5th of February, the first Thursday in the month, and I am chewing the Gumball. This week's special cover is the Bill Gates Pie in the Face edition. So the gumball today has a faint hint of banna cream pie.
Alfvaen (Aaron Humphrey) - Wed, 11 Feb 1998 00:36:02 -0500
It is(in Ackatime, at least)Feb 11, the second Wednesday of the month, and I am chewing the gumball. Thoughtfully, ruminatively, as if something deep and meaningful were occupying my brain besides frustration at my POP server's chronic inability to recognize my password and allow me to download my mail.
Oh, well, I discovered that I'd forgotten to update the link from the main page to breadbox's new and improved History of Ackanomic, so I'm taking some time to read it while downloading old email digests archives. And chewing that gumball.
The amazing thing about the Ackanomic Gumball is that if you want it to, you can _un_chew it, and have it pop out of your mouth all hard and round again, like a reverse-video kind of thing. Feels weird in the mouth, though.
Slakko (Duncan Richer) - Wed, 25 Feb 1998 17:44:59 -0500
Today is Wednesday, the 25th day of February, 1998, and I am chewing the Gumball. This week's special Gumball wrapper is the "South Park Coming to the UK" wrapper - they're not coming for a month but that's how long it is going to take to suck the whole Gumball away.
I am chewing the Gumball. Mmmmhmmm, that tastes good.
I note that it is the fourth Wednesday in the month.
rufus (David Scheidt) - Wed, 11 Mar 1998 09:48:15 -0500
Today is Wednesday 11 March 1998, the second wednesday of the month, and I am chewing the gumball. It tastes of scam.
Slakko (Duncan Richer) - Wed, 11 Mar 1998 14:37:44 -0500
Today is Wednesday, the 11th of March 1998, the second Wednesday of the month, and I am chewing the gumball. It tastes of spam, banna and burnt scam.
Attila the Pun (Micah Smukler) - Thu, 02 Apr 1998 00:04:52 -0500
Today is Thursday, April 2, the first Thursday in April, and I am chewing the Gumball. It tastes of tweakle.
K 2 (Kelly Kelly) - Thu, 16 Apr 1998 09:18:38 -0400
I'm popping the gumball in my mouth.
chew thoughtfully.
discard the wrapper in the conveniently located waste receptacle.
noting before i do:
that the wrapper
is literally covered;
millions of images of the spice girls
so i don't know what everybody else has been chewing
Slakko (Duncan Richer) - Wed, 22 Apr 1998 17:56:46 -0400
Today is Wednesday, the 22nd Day of April, the fourth Wednesday in the month, and I am chewing the Gumball. I am happy to note that the aberrant images of the Spice Girls apparently present on the wrapper when the Gumball was last chewed have now disappeared. The Gumball instead has a tesselation of fleas, designed to look very similar to the Escher lizards tesselation. The fleas alternately look like Ursula and Phoebe, with the odd aperiodic appearance of Chet. It is actually a Penrose tiling, which is curved so as to have an apparently infinite number of tiles on the very small finite space which is the Gumball wrapper.
And the Gumball itself? This week it is Iced Coffee flavour, and it tastes as if someone managed to fit a whole truckload of Iced Coffee into just one little Gumball.
K 2 (Kelly Kelly) - Wed, 22 Apr 1998 23:08:56 -0400
I chew the gumball. Much of the Iced Coffee flavour from earlier in the day has been leached out, leaving the gumball tasting somewhat like dirty dish water. I pick up the discarded wrapper and place it in the nearest rubbish bin ;)
Slakko (Duncan Richer) - Thu, 21 May 1998 08:55:02 -0400
Today is Thursday, the 21st of May, the third Thursday in the month, and I am chewing the Gumball. Today it tastes of a particular carbonated beverage, which was once the official beverage of Ackanomic, but is no longer. In a freak accident of time, the Gumball was exposed to a timeloop which caused it to take on this flavour. Not that I'm complaining.
Oh, and by the way, the wrapper this week has written on it "Hey Kids! Free Scam with Every 20 Wrappers you send in!" Unfortunately the address is illegible.
The Razor Boomerangs (Organisation) - Thu, 21 May 1998 20:16:15 -0400
Note: This was an attempted chewing, which CFJ 617 (although itself not actually legal) indicated to be invalid.
It's hot, very sharp, somewhat tangy,
Bursts into our mouth with a bangy.
The flavor is burning,
And, since it keeps returning,
Eminently Boomerangy.
Alfvaen (Aaron Humphrey) - Wed, 24 Jun 1998 09:52:10 -0400
I am chewing the Gumball today. It's nice and peaceful and quiet around here, so I can chew it for a long time without being disturbed. It's got a Spice Girls wrapper, with Geri marked with a red "X" in crayon.
Alfvaen (Aaron Humphrey) - Wed, 22 Jul 1998 10:13:29 -0400
It is Wednesday the 22nd, the fourth Wednesday in July(a month which has five), and I am chewing the Gumball, because there was absolutely no activity on the mailing lists overnight. :-) Since I got it from the big Gumball machine in the Museum foyer, it didn't have a wrapper.
rufus (David Scheidt) - Wed, 22 Jul 1998 11:08:58 -0400
The Veal Fan obviously got a fake gumball, since the one I just chewed came with a wrapper that says "fooz gum, acka. div."
JAM (Justified Ancients of Muumuu - Org) - Wed, 14 Oct 1998 02:22:28 -0400
I suggest that JAM chew the gumball.
Since I am a priest and the doctrine allows any priest to order an action, this occurs.
JT (Joseph Traub) - Wed, 14 Oct 1998 02:22:28 -0400
I chew the gumball.
/dev/joe (Joseph DeVincentis) - Wed, 14 Oct 1998 02:29:56 -0400
I also chew the gumball. The wrapper tastes funny, though, so I remove it from the wrapper and then continue chewing.
As the second player to legally chew the gumball today, I then purchase A Bottle of Bubble Gum Flavoured Shampoo from my vending machine. And then I purchase another Bottle of Bubble Gum Flavoured Shampoo from the same machine. Then, I set the price my vending machine sells Bottles of Bubble Gum Flavoured Shampoo to A$200.
I offer one Bottle of Bubble Gum Flavoured Shampoo to JT for A$6.
Alfvaen (Aaron Humphrey) - Thu, 03 Dec 1998 01:36:14 -0500
I chew the Ackanomic Gumball, which I believe is still defined in the Rules. It's a little hard to bite into at first, not having been chewed (successfully), at least that I've seen, in some time. But soon it is bursting with flavour, flavour upon flavour, a rainbow of tastes, from succulent papaya to tongue-blistering jalapeno. Ick. I stop chewing the Gumball and go to soothe my mouth with some sour cream.
Slakko (Duncan Richer) - Thu, 21 Jan 1999 11:59:37 -0500
Today is Thursday the 21st of January, the third Thursday of the month, and I am Chewing the Gumball.
The Gumball wrapper this week has only one thing on it:
VOTE IDIOTBOY FOR PRESIDENT!
Alfvaen (Aaron Humphrey) - Thu, 03 Jun 1999 01:19:42 -0400
I chew the Ackanomic gumball. It tastes of the downfall of the anti-Canadian factions within Ackanomic, which is, for those who are curious, slightly reminiscent of a pumpkin flavour that turned up some time ago.
Emperor Ai! Pedrito! (Gabe Drummond-Cole) - Wed, 11 Aug 1999 11:04:30 -0400
I am chewing the gumball.
Page by: Joseph DeVincentis, Aaron Humphrey, Duncan Richer.
Last Updated Friday, August 13, 1999