1. Editorial
2. Poll Question #1
3. More Ackanomic News
4. Special Report: The Caped Crusader's Guide to Crime
5. Sub-Game Safari
6. Advertisement
As usual, it has been a cracker of a time in Ackanomic since the last issue of The Infrequent Ackan hit the newstands in downtown Acka. There's one win attempt currently under review, and rumours of another attempt on the horizon. For now, though, the CFJ-related thread splits are fairly simple to deal with in most aspects. The main question is still whether Malenkai was unable to leave the game. The main factor this would affect is Malenkai's bank balance, because, thanks to some sharp work from Vynd, and help from beyond the grave in the form of Guy Fawkes, it was spotted that Malenkai would have left his offices regardless.
The philosophical debate for this week is: Should Acka do something to speed up the resolution of thread splits? A drastic solution was proposed and quickly hounded into oblivion when its numerous flaws were pointed out. The current system, though, is not without its flaws too. The Editorial Staff here would hate to see the current system treated as a sacred cow, when it is patently clear that some justice takes ages to be meted out. Thought is essential, but is a wait of over a month really necessary?
This also forms the first
for the Infrequent Ackan's new section.
Yes, The Infrequent Ackan is now running the "Archive of Unofficial Polls". The first question this week is: What, if anything, do you think should be done to change the current system of judgements, appeals and Supreme Court decisions?
To vote, please reply direct to the editor of the paper at dcr24@cam.ac.uk. One entry from those received will be chosen at random to receive a handsome Trinket as a prize. (Guaranteed market value A$5).
The Ackanomic duels continue, with the third in the old v young series drawing to a close. It appears that the decision this time will be in favour of the old guard, with /dev/joe handing out a complete and utter shellacking to young Slakko. Slakko was heard to say "/dev/joe just has too much experience - but how come he can't do any better on the main Virus board?"
The Fat Lady was heard (supposedly) again this week, although The Gingham Wearer assured Ackans that it was just a mass hallucination caused by too much heavy frinking. He didn't hear a word, at least not on January 27th. Crackfoo agreed, in a rare display of visibility. This visibility is becoming increasingly apparent of late. No less than three members of They Might Be Slumbering Giants have posted public messages in the last fortnight, leading to concerns that the ancient prophecy might come true. As all Ackans know, the Slumbering Giants stay slumbering for a reason. The combined intellect of all giants is such that, should they ever be visibly active all at the same time, their combined brainpower would simply blast Acka out of its position in the universe, smashing it into Kansas in a pyrotechnic display reminiscent of a thousand Books of Chorg. We at the Ackan are fervently praying that this prophecy will remain unresolved for now.
In order to aid the peole of Ackanomic in avoiding crime, I have prepared this list of crimes:
Repetition: Making a proposal while an identical one also proposed by you is still in the voting queue.
Disinterest: Being an active player but not subscribing to the official mailing list.
Apathy: Being an active player but not subscribing to the offical voting list.
Breach of Contract: Making a game action (or failing to) which violates a contract you have signed.
Blatant Disregard: Breaking the rules.
Illegal Action: To perform an action declared illegal by the rules.
Attempting the Impossible: Attempting to perform an illegal action, even if it fails.
Non-Performance: Being an officer and not performing your duties.
Malpractice: Performing your duties improperly.
Zuriti'ili: This is an ill-defined crime, but the following guidelines are known: If it involves a prime number of entities, it's not a Zuriti'ili. It may only be commited by the speaker if the speaker has publicly announced the number of tiem Zuriti'ili has been commited in the past, along with their date and time. There is also another, rather obscure limitation on the speaker committing Zuriti'ili, which is not common or important enough to mention here. Suffice to say it hasn't been met. No one who is not a member of an organization may commit Zuriti'ili. The Ackaphysicist has committed, or will commit, Zuriti'ili at least once.
Annoying: Exploiting Malenkai's Loophole.
[Unnamed crime, proposal is in queue to name it Abbomination]: Suffering a concussion from failed rafting and not beginning a message with Moo and ending it with Quack, Quack?
Acting like a Realtor: Giving an illegal description for a house.
Media Baroncy: Owning more than three newspapers.
Lying in Print: Refusing to retract a false statement printed in a newspaper.
Misappropriation of Campaign Funds: For the President not to put a trinket given to him for the purpose of putting in the Cabinet in the Cabinet.
Branch Stacking: Being a member of more than one political party.
Iconoclasm: Violating the church policy of a church you are a member of.
Game Misconduct: Deliberately interfering with a subgame.
Round 9 of Viruses is complete, and The Gingham Wearer is streaking away on 4 points. Slakko remains the closest challenger on a Viruspoint basis, but at the moment appears to be lagging behind in cells. At this stage, with such a significant leader (and a huge lead on cells), the games staff here at the Ackan are wondering whether it is time to see some strategic behaviour. Meanwhile, at the bottom end of the table, some players are likely to drop out in the near future as their Viri come ever closer to dying out.
Fictionary
Mediocrity
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Copyright © Duncan Richer writing under the pseudonym of "Slakko", and Henry Townser as "else...if", 31/1/98.
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