2. Latest Ackanomic News, straight from the Horse's Mouth
Welcome to the first issue of The Infrequent Ackan. Given the usual difficulty in maintaining high expectations with the publishing of these and similar game-related newspapers, this Editor has taken the unusual step of starting out with low expectations. By only telling you that this newspaper will be updated infrequently, the Editor avoids the problems of creating an unsuitable name.
The purpose of this newspaper is to ensure that all Ackanomia's citizenry are kept well up to date with the nature of game play as it stands, and to do with current events shaking the world of Acka. We hope to feature interviews, Treasure Hunt details, recaps on classic proposals, and much, much more. Of course, that's what we hope. Now, we also hope that all our readers in Ackanomia remember the subtext behind our motto:
"If we don't publish it, it ain't harfy."
Towards that end, we will also, where possible, be keeping track of Harfy proposals, and, should they arise, Harfy Chess Moves. If you think that something is harfy, send it in by all means. I seriously doubt that we will be flooded with articles, and insufficient space to print them, at least in the early days.
May you all enjoy a good read.
Editor, The Infrequent Ackan
As is to be expected, great events are shaking the foundations of Acka once more. The SPAM Party, newly formed on October 31st, is behind attempts to affect the immutability of Rule 1. It is expected that this will set off yet another flood of CFJs. However, this attempt must wait for a couple of days at least, for the voting periods on Proposals 2392 and 2393 to expire. In the meantime, moves will revolve around the claim of a win by all-around Ackanomic Supremo Malenkai, jointly with our illustrious President Alfvaen.
Use of the Magic Potato's properties as Beldin's Tailor gave Malenkai the opportunity to amend Beldin's Pants. While this practice has been common in the past, Malenkai added a new twist, by changing the word "trinket" to the word "win". He then claimed that, as at noon yesterday, he and Alfvaen had both won a cycle, because, as recipients of the Parka, they each gain one win every Thursday at noon.
The editorial staff here at the Infrequent Ackan are slightly bemused by this logic. While, indeed, both players have gained a "win", this does not necessarily imply that they have won a cycle. There are more things that can be won in Ackanomic than merely a Cycle of the great Game, notably Duels, Games & Contests, Grab-a-Donkey, and possibly even Party Chess. For Malenkai to suggest that the "win" referred to in Beldin's Pants is unambiguously a win of a Cycle appears to be a jump in logic which a kangaroo would be proud of.
The Infrequent Ackan interviewed the Fat Lady about this. Here is an excerpt from her response:
"So, first thing I know is I suddenly started singing at noon, at least I thought I did. Malenkai always seems to know exactly when I'm going to start. It would be a little embarrassing though if it turns out I wasn't singing, because then I was both singing and not singing at the same time. It does terrible things to one's voice, it does. I just hope the Brass Monkey has some gargle handy…"
The Infrequent Ackan, first to you with Ackan news.
Copyright © Duncan Richer aka Slakko, 28/11/97.
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