The Steel Flea Gazette

This is the archive of news articles by snowgod (a.k.a. Mr. Lunatic Fringe) published in the newspaper "The Steel Flea Gazette" and its sister publication "SFG Internomic Edition". (Note, however, that the first two issues and the "new(s) flash" issue were actually samizdat publications.)

Date: Tue, 25 Jun 1996 04:40:47 -0800

This up to the minute news is being distributed by an underground press. It would be distributed by The Ackanomic Steel Flea Gazette, but it appears that I, among with all of you, are flat broke. [This turned out to only be a rumor. -- Hist.] When we somehow get some A$, I will announce the URL for the web based paper

First Blue Crosses Awarded

Ackanomic (AckPress) - Four Ackanomic players were awarded a Blue Cross today by President /dev/joe at a surprise awards ceremony. The crosses, awarded to Malenkai, Calvin N Hobbes, Mohammed, and Robert Sevin, are the first blue crosses to be handed out. President /dev/joe noted that the players with a Blue Cross may now begin working towards receiving the first Silver Stripe. He quoted from Rule 549, saying, "for each 10 additional proposals submitted by a Blue Cross owner and subsequently adopted by Ackanomic, that Blue Cross owner shall be awarded a Silver Stripe."

A Blue Cross can be awarded for several reasons. Malenkai received his for having more than 20 of his proposals pass, as did Calvin N Hobbes. Mohammed was awarded a Blue Cross for completing his term as a senator, and Robert Sevin gained his for completing a term as President.

Reaction among the recipients was mixed. While fighting back a wave of emotion, Calvin N Hobbes thanked the crowd that had massed to witness the ceremony. Malenkai and Mohammed received their Crosses without comment. Rumor has it that they were too choked up to speak. Robert Sevin is still on vacation, and was unavailable for comment.


Fat Lady Sings!

Ackanomia (AckPress) - In a move described by some a "weak" and "lame", /dev/joe won by paradox today, when CFJ 192 came back TRUE. The CFJ, which repeated the claims made in CFJ 182, the CFJ which allowed Malenkai's paradox win, was made possible by the flawed nature of R829 (Handling Paradox Wins). To the surprise of many players, it turned out that the constitutional convention which solved the original paradox was never, in fact, even held. One player, who wishes to remain anonymous, said it was most likely a "mass hallucination, caused by the stresses of temporal crises".

ThinMan, when returning judgement, was surprisingly harsh on President /dev/joe. He said " I consider this CFJ to be in questionable taste, but it does an excellent job of underscoring the problem. It is my opinion that no further demonstration is necessary, and I will personally consider any other CFJ along these lines to be in very poor taste indeed."

Shortly after the announcement of /dev/joe's win The Fat Lady began to sing. To the delight of the masses, she began her set with "the Lamest of the Lame". There is some confusion as to whether Malenkai, who may or may not hold The Great Trombone of Ackanomia, did or did not accompany her in song.

Date: Wed, 17 Jul 1996 01:59:01 -0800

Ackanomic Steel Flea Gazette
Volume 1 - Issue 2

This issue of the Gazette contains:



Senate (AckP) - fon was impeached from the Senate monday, making him the first player in ackanomic to be legally impeached from office. The Impeachment Papers filed by Malenkai stated that fon knew his vacation was going to be an extended one and that he should have resigned from office before leaving.

14 players voted on the impeachment of fon. 13 voted in favor of the impeachment. The sole opposing voice was from this is not a name who provided no reasoning for his opposition. A nomination for the Senate Seat formerly held by fon is now underway.

Before the impeachment of fon, the only other attempt at the impeachment of an officer was the failed removal of Calvin N Hobbes from the office of the Financier. The player initiating the IP claimed that CnH was abusing his authority by attempting to shut down the Finacial Market during the turmoil of Robert Sevin's first win.


Supreme Court (AckP) - In a controversial decision, De'ghew returned a verdict of TRUE on CFJ 220, which claimed that each player may only vote once per game. In the Judge's Comments, De'ghew said "It appears that the rules do not reflect the game custom that players may vote once on each proposal. Since the rules must take precedence over game custom, this court has no choice but to rule this CFJ TRUE."

The verdict was hotly contested, however.

this is not a name said "This is absurd. In the US we have a principle of one man, one vote. That doesn't mean that everyone gets one vote in his/her life. Besides, the phrasing of 390 makes it clear that every player has one vote at all times, not that the vote is taken away when the player votes." He went on to quote Webster's New Word Dictionary stating that a vote is "the right to exercise such a decision or choice; suffrage."

Nicolo Flychuck said that the verdict was "ludicrous" and expressed his amazement at what he considered to be an "obviously erroneous (sp?) use of the English language."

Judge De'ghew, in a rebuttle to th charges leveled at him said "I have little doubt that the CFJ220 verdict will be overturned by the Supreme Court. Indeed, I hope it is. I also hope that the Supreme Court will hand down satisfactory reasoning with its verdict. I'm sure their verdict will be in accordance with the rules, whether or not it is best for the game."

The promoter has not distrbuted voting results, and says that he will not until the matter is cleared up. The Supreme Court is due to return a verdict on the appeal by July 19. Rumor on the street is that the verdict will be overturned, but until that happens, the state of Ackanomic remains in limbo.


Robert Sevin's House (AckP) - Robert Sevin began wearing his SillY Vacation Hat this week, making him the first of the permenant vacationers to do so. After thanking his personal Mad Hatter, ThinMan, for devising him such a wonderful hat, Robert Sevin extolled the virtues of his 112 pound piece of headwear.

Robert Sevin announced that he plans to introduce legislation that would allow him to keep his Hat for longer than the two weeks alloted to him by the rules, as he admires it so.

Perhaps it is the recent addition of the penguin to the other aquatic life that resides in his hat which inspires these feeling of contenment in the former President, or perhaps it is just the titanium re-enforced silk chin strap (as he claimed in his admiration) but it is clear the Robert Sevin truly loves his Silly Vacation Hat!


Free Market (AckP) - With the second IP distributed last week, snowgod called for the removal of ThinMan from the Office of the Financier. Stating that "ThinMan has been negligent in performing his duties as Financier", snowgod argued that thinman should be removed from office because "He has not made a good faith effort to determine the account balance of the players (in either thread), nor has he posted information concerning the value of PFbonds in any thread."

ThinMan responded by saying"As I read the rules, only the second allegation above would be, if true, a failure to carry out the duties of the OotF. The other two allegations, although true, do not describe failures to perform the duties snowgod lists below."

ThinMan claims that the Financier is not required by the rules to provide reports on the status of accounts, but rather that previous accounting reports were issued by CnH per habit.

snowgod is confident that the impechment of ThinMan from the OotF will succeed though. "We've proved that it can be done with fon, now let's hope that it can done in this case, a case where it is badly needed."


"Man on the Street" Interview
Downtown Ackanomic City

A special to the Steel Flea Gazette from pTang1001001sos

Amid all the political wrangling and policy debate, it is all too easy for us to overlook the little people, the workers who bring to reality the dictums of the Players of Ackanomic. I had the good fortune to speak with a few of these good folk, and find out some of the issues that are important to them.

pT: "I want to thank you two for taking time out of your busy days to share your views with our readers."

A: "Always have time for a Player."

pT: "What are your names?"

A: "You're the Player. What do you want them to be?"

pT: "Ummmm. I guess I'll go with A and B."

B: "Hey, sure, don't bother with anything creative. It's just our names."

A(to B): "Don't mouth off to the Players!"

pT: "Ummm, right. OK, what is a typical Ackanomic day for you like?"

A: "Well, there's really no such thing. We're called in any time a structure or entity needs to be built. Our job's different from day to day."

pT: "And has that been an interesting job so far?"

A: "Oh, sure. I especially like the gadgets that the Inventor designs for us to build. We're almost ready for field trials on the Pyraic Frobnotzer. That'll be a real hoot."

B: "I like the construction. It's a real challenge to put together a building that respects the Three Laws."

pT: "I've never heard of such a thing. That's not in the Rules, is it?"

B: "Well, do you mind if I get a little theoretical here? OK. First there's the Law of Specificity. That means that if you Players choose to specify some physical aspect of an entity, we've got to follow it."

pT: "Sure. Seems straightforward. Why is there more to it than that?"

B: "These things are just theoretical constructs to you Players, but we _live_ here. You can't just have a theoretical building sitting next-door. It puts people off. So we've got ways of making entities real in our Ackanomic world and yet consistant with the theoreticals that you Players lay out."

pT: "I'm not sure I grasp that entirely."

A: "I guess you have to be an acka-entity."

B: "Allow me to continue. The Law of Function says that we need to have the entity respect the fact that a Player might be able to change some aspect of an entity as deliniated in the Rules."

pT: "So it has to work the way the Rules state."

B: "Yeah, but there's more to it. It also can't do anything that would be prohibited by the Rules. And on top of all that, we need to follow the Law of Will."

A: "That's the biggie."

pT: "Please explain."

A: "The Law of Will says that we need to make the device so that if a Player just simply chooses to change some aspect of the entity, he can do so unless it's prohibited by the Rules."

B: "That's a real pain, let me tell you."

pT: "Why is that?"

B: "Well, take that building over there for example." (B points to the Senate)

pT: "A real sumptuous place, alright."

B: "Yeah, but what does the building look like?"

pT: "You see it. It's a white marble job, Greek architecture, open forum in the center, the whole bit."

A: "That's the way we see it, too. But that's only because we're with you right now. You might be suprised to know that each Player has eir own vision of what that Senate looks like."

B: "The Senate has to be able to change every aspect of itself each time a Player wills it to be something different."

pT: "Huh?"

A: "Try it. Imagine the Senate as a being an ivy-covered brick building."

(I do so, and the building changes form)

pT: "Wow. Nice work."

B: "Thanks. Not bad for a rush-job. We only had a week of warning that the whole downtown area would need to be built."

pT: "Hey, about this Law of Will. That makes us Players pretty powerful, doesn't it?"

B: "Masters of a theoretical world, yippee."

pT: "I'm sorry, what was that?"

A (glaring at B): "He says that you should try it out some more."

pT: "Like what? What should I do next?"

B: "How about you imagine that both of us get back to work, and the interview ends?"



Free Market (AckP) - The state of Ackanomic Finances is still unclear, althought the n win situation has been resolved. It has been over one month since the Financier or his assistants have released any detailed financial information.

The Financier, in a public statement declared "...I note for the record, that with all of the game-winning and PFBond cycles being reset by R666, only one complete bond cycle has passed during the last month..." but has so far failed to release any information regarding the actual value of PFbonds.

Many players are becoming frustrated at the inabilty to check their account balances. Speaker Malenkai said "I have no idea how much money I have, and things have not been updated for a month!"



Internomic Realms (AckP) - Internomic play, which was scheduled to begin this week, will be delayed for at least one more week.

Andre Engels, one of the Founding Fathers of Internomic, said "Due to problems concerning Liaisonship within Thring, the Internomic game will probably start some time next week, instead of this week as I had planned before. Starting members will be Thring, Agora, AckaNomic and Imperial Nomic 14.

Date: Fri, 2 Aug 1996 09:51:13 -0800
Subject: Acka: Steel Flea Gazette: New Flash

The Steel Flea Gazette interupts normal list services to bring you a special report from a neighboring nomic:

Aug 1st 1996, (MNP): Pandemonium in MicroNomia! Pascal suddenly flooded the proposal queue early this morning with over 300 proposals, all strikingly similar except for the last. He voted for all of them, driving MicroNomic General Stock prices thru the roof: trading had begun at 154 pts. that day, but had finished, with incredible optimism from all the FOR votes, at a record 1057 points! Pascal quietly then sold his single share of MNG, amassing well over 1100 points himself.

The pandemonium mentioned enters here: Pascal, by the rule 13 so recently amended by the passage of proposal 46, claimed to change the votes of three of his fellow players on proposal 351 (The one not so similar to props 51-350) to FOR from having been uncast votes, thus causing it (allegedly) to immediately pass. The old rule 13 had stated:

A player may spend 100 points to change another player's vote on any one proposal. The vote it is changed to must still be a valid vote. A player cannot change more than one vote on any one proposal using this rule.

and the new:

A player may, the first time such an action is taken on a given proposal, spend 100 points to change another player's vote on any one proposal. The vote it is changed to must still be a valid vote. Successive vote changes by a single player to a certain proposal double in cost. For example, the second vote change on proposal XXX by Player YYY requires em to pay 200 points, the third costs 400, the fourth 800, etc. Even if a player has enough points however, e may never change votes on one prop a number of times exceeding half the number of players, rounded down. (eg if there are twenty players, no more than ten vote changes on one prop.)

Proposal 351 did various things, including granting a Win to Pascal and Xae (also this was further contested by Death), who coincidentally also voted FOR 46 and 351. Xae was unavailable for comment on his rationale behind voting for the two proposals, nor the meaning of Pascal transferring 300 points to em after the proposal's alleged passage..

Immediately and vehemently, however, Tivol protested:

"Isn't there a difference between "changing" and "creating" a vote? I don't believe I had a vote for you to change since I hadn't ever registered one [...] The only valid votes are "FOR", "AGAINST", and "WHATEVER"; you can't argue that I had a "null" vote for you to change because that's not a valid vote.) The debate comes down to "change" versus "create"."

Death quickly agreed with Tivol, as did Mongrel, considering Pascal's actions a truly "lame attempt at a scam", despite Pascal doing precisely what Tivol claimed he couldn't do, namely arguing that e could change a null vote into a valid one. Where Pascal's incredible quantities of points will go instead and what will actually become of proposal 351 are still in question due to MicroNomic's lack of any semblance of a judicial system, left out for the sake of compactness of the initial set, which consisted of only two rules - expect further updates from this reporter.


Date: Thu, 19 Sep 1996 13:47:55 -0900

Steel Flea Gazette
Volume 1 - Issue 3

Much Delayed and Often Duplicated
Ackanomic's Original Newspaper - Since 1996!

In this issue:

This issue of the Steel Flee Gazette is brought to you without support from advertisers or ne'er do wells. However, if you would like future editions of SFG to contain advertisements for your ventures or proposals, contact me for pricing and placement. If you would like to submit an article to SFG, send email to Accepted submissions are paid with either A$1 per word, or 2 PFsnowgod (editor's choice). SFG retains the right to edit submissions for grammar, spelling, or content.



Wilds Of Ackanomia (AckP) - Odds are high that the Voting Gnome, on of Ackanomic's oldest, and most controversial, entities will cease to exist - at least temporarily - within a week.

Malenkai has submitted a proposal, which is expected to pass, repealing the Voting Gnome and replacing it with a new entity know as a Chartreuse Goose. Many players feel that the Goose may make a decent replacement for the Gnome, which has lived a long but danger filled life. The Gnome has been the object of numerous assassination attempts since his inception, all of which have been doomed to failure.

"The Gnome is a symbol of the Harfyness that separates Ackanomic from lesser games," said frozenwaterdiety, a long time friend of the Gnome.

Wayne, one of Ackanomic's most respected players, feels differently though, as evidenced by his numerous proposals to kill the gnome. "...But I just dislike the thought of rewarding the player with the lowest score. To try to have the lowest score just seems contrary to logical play."

Friends of the Gnome are taking consolation from a recent proposal by new player Guy Fawkes. Under Fawkes ambitious plan, the gnome would be resurrected, though in a manic form, voting randomly on each proposal. While it saddens many to see the Gnome reduced to such a pathetic state, it is understandable when one considers all he been through.



ThinMan - Financial Correspondent

The historically icy Bond Market experienced a rapid thaw with the advent of IdiotBoy on the financial scene. After months of near-total inactivity, IdiotBoy started a relative avalanche of bond Trading with his initial purchase of 30 PFNiccolo on September 10, at a price of A$ 45. His name notwithstanding, IdiotBoy made himself look prescient when he unloaded those same bonds the following day for an A$ 30 profit.

An aggressive marketing campaign ensued, with IdiotBoy investing his initial profit in an advertising contract with the publisher of this newspaper. Techno became active in the market early, and Ackanomic saw bond prices shoot up as a result of active, competitive bidding for highly-rated stocks. Techno and Guy Fawkes now each hold more different player's PFbonds than any other player does. And what of IdiotBoy? Despite his aggressive Bond acquisition strategy, IdiotBoy has been successful in unloading most of his portfolio at a profit. This reporter would have labelled him a true shark if not for his unexpected trade of 20 PFTechno, purchased at A$ 6 each, for an used ("slightly worn") Prosthetic Forehead.

So who are the winners, and who the losers? It may surprise the reader to hear that the only players who have come out ahead so far, currency-wise, are those who exclusively sold bonds from their own portfolios. Of those, Malenkai comes out well ahead of the pack with a total profit of A$ 330 on just 20 PFMalenka. Although the past yields of PFMalenka have been strong, Malenkai will have to earn 1650 points before those bonds pay dividends equal to their selling price. Indeed, Malenkai seems to have IdiotBoy's favor -- not only did IdiotBoy pay an outrageous sum for Malenkai's IPO, but he also helped inflate the price further for Techno's purchase of PFMalenka and favored Malenkai with the afforementioned odd bond/forehead trade. Just what is the relationship between IdiotBoy and Malenkai? This reporter doesn't yet know, but SFG readers can be assured that I will be watching the markets for clues.



Habeous Corpus - A special to the SFG

This last month, Ackanomia has experienced a resurgance unparalleled in its history. After threatening to be mired down in endless debates over the validity of loopholes, and nitpicking the Rules to death, the introduction of a slew of new players has sparked new interest in the game. Where once the digests were full of posts and counterposts arguing the merits of a single line in a Rule, no three or four arguments may be found at a time.

Players such as IdiotBoy and Guy Fawkes have reawakened interest in PFBonds, Techno is giving the Underworld a real chance at Nomic Domination. (Can we be seeing the start of a change in leadership in the Underworld? Look out Wayne.) New Players are challenging things as never before; from how entities are formed to questions of the worthwhileness of time honored (hidebound?) Rules.

As the proud owner of the Whamiol, I am naturally glad to see any new player enter the game; in fact, I encourage all who want to be a part of the finest and funniest nomic to join immediately (after the paradox wins have been decided). But I am especially proud that my newfound Points came as a result of these newcomers, who have contributed so much already and promise to continue making this the most FUN game on the net.

{{The Steel Flea Gazette would like to welcome Bash, Skinny, fnord, breadbox, IdiotBoy, Guy Fawkes, Uncle Sam, and Tim to Ackanomic. We would also like to apologize to any new players we may have neglected to welcome. -ed}}



Everyone knows that bond manipulation can be a daunting task. The small payoffs are often not worth the homework one must do in order to achieve even a modest financial gain. I recently received a copy of a new rag published by IdiotBoy which attempts to solve this problem.

The Hot Tips Newsletter is designed with an eye towards function. The newsletter is divided into sections, each covering a different aspect of the financial market. The Overall Bond Market Review provides a concise rundown of the previous weeks financial activities, but also contain a thinly disguised advertisement for the newsletter itself, which seems a little silly since the newsletter is available to subscribers only.

The Legislative Review section contains information about the speculated results of various proposals on the financial market. Last weeks issue urged a vote YES on P1209, and a small dissertation on the issue of "Waynenomics", or the coup proposals. This legislative Review should prove very useful to Bond Traders who wish to act on their own, but could use a small amount of guidance.

Finally, each week the newsletter contains an essay on a "Featured Bond" (last week it was PFMalenkai), and a rundown of trading suggestions listed by the score of each bond's "player". I found these suggestions to be a hodge-podge of good and bad. Two suggestions that especially puzzled me were:

PFPascal BUY at A$3 [could be the sleeper of the group] PFBascule HOLD [vacationers are always good hold options]

However, I understand that the Bond Market is a speculative game, and one players ideas are as good as any others. IdiotBoy's gut feeling have paid off pretty well so far, and other players may feel more comfortable trusting in these recommendations than I do.

For the most part, I would say that the Hot Tip Newsletter is a valuable resource for any one who is actively involved in the bond market (though I would like to see the subscription rate lowered by about half). If you prefer to make your own determinations on Bonds it still might pay to pick up an occasional copy, though I wouldn't recommend a subscription - ask IdiotBoy if this is possible. And for those who have little interest in the Bond Market, I would recommend staying clear of this publication all-together.



Library (AckP) - The time is nearing in Ackanomic when we head to Malenkai's Castle and cast our votes in the election for the President of Ackanomic. Candidates are shaping up, getting a feel for the coming campaign before publicly announcing their desires to run. Voters are watching everything intently, looking for character flaws that may determine how they vote.

The current President, frozenwaterdiety, who is suffering from an absurd typo, has publicly announced that he plans to run for re-election. No other candidates have publicly announced yet, but rumor has is that the President is keeping his eyes on ThinMan and IdiotBoy. The fact that both of these potential candidates have two capital letters in their one name cannot be overlooked now.

The possibility of other candidate cannot be discounted either. With so many new players in Ackanomic, all previous assumptions about the balance of power have been toppled, and anything can happen.


The SFG will run an editorial by any player, regardless of political or religious affiliations. If you are interested in your comments running in SFG, please submit them to

Date: Sat, 28 Sep 1996 18:57:30 -0900

Steel Flea Gazette - Special Report
Volume 1 - Issue 4

Much Delayed and often Duplicated
Ackanomic's Original Newspaper - Since 1996!

In this issue:

This issue of the Steel Flee Gazette is brought to you without support from advertisers or ne'er do wells. However, if you would like future editions of SFG to contain advertisments for your ventures or proposals, contact me for pricing and placement. If you would like to submit an article to SFG, send email to Accepted submissions are paid with either A$1 per line, or 2 PFsnowgod (editor's choice). SFG retains the right to edit submissions for grammer, spelling, or content.



A special to the Steel Flea Gazette by Malenkai

We got a near complete response to the poll question, which was, basically, "How did you find out about Ackanomic?". Most people found out about it on newsgroups, and alot of people credit the Publicists of the early days for their "spam".

Niccolo Flychuck:

I saw an anouncement on - I was familiar with nomic before, though I hadn't played it by e-mail before.
I don't remember who posted it, but when I e-mailed him he gave the address of the Registrar, and I joined directly as a player. That was back in March, right at the start of the Quorum Crisis. The player who made the anouncement could very well have been pTang, since he frequents that newsgroup.

this is not a name:

I think I saw the spam on usenet.


Of course, I first learned of the existence of Nomic from Metamagical Themas.
A few months ago, I subscribed to, and when the FAQ came around, it mentioned Nomic on the net, something I've always thought would be ideal. It either listed the URL for Doug Chatham's Nomic bulletin board directly, or it gave the URL for the Nomic FAQ, from where I found the board. In any case, snowgod had just posted a requst for more players the day before. Taking that as a good sign, I hit the Ackanomic web page. Over the next hour or so, I skimmed the entire ruleset. (I was in creative procrastination mode.) I remember the first new rule that stuck out was the Voting Gnome: I thought that was a great idea. (That little association made it very enjoyable for me when I became the Gnome Buddy so quickly after joining; it definitely made up for having such a consistently lousy score.) When I found out that I could become an observer, and get the feel of the game before diving in, I knew I would join in. I became an observer that night, and a couple of weeks later, when a cycle ended and everyone's scores were reset to zero, I became a player.


I found out about the game from the publicist's message in a local newsgroup.


The Founder of Acka, Sean Ackers, posted a message on I sent him some email and joined up. After a couple of days we had enough players to start. And the rest is history.....


I found out about Ackanomic through a post on I was then an observer for some time before I decided to join the game.

Habeous Corpus:

I found Ackanomic through a Web search on PBEM's that led me to Michael's Nomic Page, and Acka was the first name on the list. I checked out others, too.


I found out about the game on the newsgroup when someone posted about it. I thinkthat was during the time when there was a position called the 'Publicist'.


I found out about the game from a posting on (or something like that) by Robert Sevin when he was publicist. I didn't follow it up, though, until I saw a post on Then i figured I had to try it...

mr cwm:

I joined right after the publicist rule passed, in response to their post to (I think).


Working on a contract at a large electronic information publishing company (as I would say if I was a game show). Got bored in a meeting. Jacked into the net. Looking at some GEB stuff. Links into Metamagical Themas stuff. Links to Nomic stuff. (It's so Web-like out there). Spent alot of time looking at the Imperial (Fascist) version. Nothing really caught my fancy til I saw the Acka pages. Plenty of controversy, and plenty of fun. Or so the Germans would have us believe!


Connection from the Nomic Page or something like that.


Through a newsgroup. cpf had placed a message there. I can't remember which one I'm afraid, I was surfing at the time


I discovered Acka via some newsgroup or other (I forget which), where ChessPieceFace posted some info about the game. At the time he was the officer responsible for spreading the word about the game to get new players (the name of which office also escapes me).

Uncle Sam:

I was looking on the Yahoo Page's about different internet games and saw a link to your web site.
I've never played this before. It sounds extremely interesting. Wanted to see what it was like.


My name is Shlomi and I've just joined the game as skinny. I found out about the game by seeing a connection from the "Nomic Page" on the Internet. Looking forward for playing with you.


Always wanted to play Nomic since Metamagical Themas, but could never muster people willing to commit the time. (Had played 2 player nomic like games before, the result of one being the card game on my web page)
Figured the Internet was the perfect medium, and did an Alta Vista search for "nomic" and "Suber". Found the Nomic page and Nomic faq. Wanted to join a traditional nomic. Joined Acka because of its young rule set, harfy proposal archive, and well-organized web pages (traits it still has, fortunately). I joined during the R 416 wars, and tried to start a political party second or third day (anyone remember the Markovian Party?). Back then we had the FOOZBALL, NOAZBALL, and Independent parties.
Actually wanted to check out Thring, because of their evolving story thing, but the link to their web site was broken. Glad I ended up here. I guess thats more than anyone needed or cared to know.

Date: Tue, 22 Oct 1996 00:07:12 -0800 (AKDT)
Subject: Acka: Steel Flea Gazette Vol ume 1 Issue 5


The advertising space haunted by Elder Wayne's Undead. For more advertising information contact the publisher at or
In This Issue:




Ackanomic (AckP) - Publishing mogul snowgod, founder of Ackanomic's premeir newspaper, clinched a deal with mr cwm today purchasing the Is. "Diversification is our main goal here..." said snowgod. Rumors have it that Is will carry alternative information, too controversial to be carried in it's larger, parent, publication as well as regular news and updates about the shape of the Earth, which is quite flat.

Rumors that Is has been purchased as the first move in an attempt to revive our beloved \Voting Gnome appear to be greatly exagerated. When asked, the president said that while no issue is too controversial for Is, no editorial space has been alloted to Gnome Ressurection



Malenkai's Castle (AckP) - An alleged "newspaper" with a title that ought get most decent folk burned was distributed throughout Ackanomic today. Inital sales were slow, due in large part to the copious quantities of heresy contained in the alleged "newspaper". Spouting off such drivel as a commitment to report on the obvious roundness of the earth, and a biased piece attempting to lure the weak into believe that the Codex of Kra contains heresy, the newspaper infuriated a large percentage of it's readers.

"It think it's appalling," said one reader, who wishes to remain unnamed. "burn the Witches!" he added.

Editors Note:

This next space oough include two columns, one by Habeous Corpus, and one by our late great Techo, but a recent computer crash led to the corruption of these documents. I humbly apologize.

Date: Tue, 31 Dec 1996 10:42:29 -0900

Steal Flea Gazette
Special Year End Issue

In which we espouse predictions for the new year



Several newspapers will go belly-up at midnight Ackanomic time on January 1, 1997 - This short range prediction is provided to lend credibility to the other predictions, which may not prove themselves true for some time.


Ackanomic will gain recognition from several topside nations, including Lichtenstein and the Republic of Texas. However, this recognition will bring with it new responsibilities as Ackanomic is asked to hold a seat on the UN security council.


Several proposals will be introduced to celebrate Ackanomic's first birthday, but all will fail as it is discovered that an egg in recent rule changes made voting a crime punishable by public apology. The torrent of apologies will flood the mailing list causing new proposals to not even be noticed. This "apology crises" will make the great quorum crises look like child's play.


It will be discovered that Elvis is alive and hiding out in the Monument to Futility. However, he will be lost forever when Guy Fawkes buries him as treasure with a map that contains only the word "rosebud"


Players will wake up from their holiday stupor, return to their keyboards, and on January 2nd, 1997, the flow of traffic on the Mailing List will finally pop back up.

Date: Fri, 31 Jan 1997 01:29:22 -0900

Steel Flea Gazette
Volume 2, Issue 1

In which we report that no news is good news.


Publication schedules for the Steel Flea Gazette mcontinue to fall behind schedule. snowgod, SFG's publisher and all around newspaper-baron, has failed to devote much time to this newspaper. Instead, he seems to be putting all his resources to something he jokingly calls "school" and his new pet project, SFG internomic edition.

Near as we can tell here at SFG, snowgod spent 7 hours the other night, hours that would have been better spent building a silver-moon-award-winning newspaper, writing a short essay on the letter Q. Through an amazing set of coincidences involving a goose and the top-side of the earth (need we say more?) we have come across a copy of this "essay", which he claims was written as a sarcastic response to a writing exercise assinged in his creative nonfiction workshop, and are publishing it against aour better judgement. Golden Forg help us if snowgod actually chooses to read this issue of his paper.

Phil Ackley

Imagine for a moment the letter Q.

It stands bold, ready to begin any word whose second letter is a U or lend it's unique sound to the handful of words that begin with the odd combination of "Qa". On the rarest of occasions it may even consent to lend itself to a construction in which it is immediately followed by the letter I, though this happens so rarely that in a more scholarly work it probably wouldn't even merit a footnote.

Though tall and rounded, and perhaps a little oblong, the hook through it's lower right corner serves to distinguish it from it's cousin O, a common vowel.

Now examine a particular Q, specifically the Q that terminates the first sentence of this work. It is imprinted alone on this page, free from the constraints of a surrounding word, in 12 point Helvetica type. It smells of bittersweet synthetic laser toner, or at least it would if it were possible to distinguish its smell from that of the surrounding letters. Finally, and this is possibly the most important feature of our Q, it is very, very, black.

As this is being written, our Q is not yet in existence, though it will be once the paper is finalized and printed. It shall become one Q in a long and glorious history of of Q's, perhaps the most important one ever, do to its self-referential nature.

However, unless our Q is one of Fortune's favorites it is unlikely that its future will be as glorious as its brief but noble past. After this paper is discussed and evaluated it , and our Q with it, will likely be tossed into a folder full of such papers, some perhaps containing Q's of their own. Our Q will be forgotten, its ink fading into grayness even as the paper it resides on yellows.

Alternatively, there exists the possibility that our Q will achieve worldwide fame after the publication of this paper in a major journal. It is this possibilty that raises some interesting questions about the our Q. If it were to be republished, would the Q that millions of readers experienced indeed be our Q, or would it instead be a separate Q in each individual printing? For that matter, is the Q that each person in my writing group experiences the same Q? Common sense would argue that it is, so long as each as an exact reproduction of the original, but the issue merits exploration.

Our Q has now spawned the creation of an entire academic paper, but what of other Q's? Is each one as important as ours?

Q is certainly a minor letter in the scheme of things. Without it, a standard dictionary would only be five or ten pages shorter. Erasing a complicated letter from the Alphabet would make the English language that much easier to learn. Certainly, one can't have too much use for a letter that cannot even be used twice in succession.

However, It can be argued that the letter Q is more important than the sum of its parts. It is certainly much more important than the over glorified O, which would never have inspired a paper such as this. Without a letter as unique and exciting as Q this paper would never have been written. Three creative writing students, who have relieved pleasure, or alternatively frustration, from evaluating this paper would never have had those experiences were it not for the letter Q.

Were it not for the letter Q, which seems on the surface to be so insignificant, at this moment the reader would likely be sleeping through yet another paper on "The Flower in the Vase Next to My Computer".

The complex nature of our Q can save the reader that drudgery. More accurately, It already has.

Date: Fri, 31 Jan 1997 01:32:42 -0900
Subject: Acka: SFG Internomic Edition (issue 1)

In this Issue of the SFG internomic edition we bring you the URL of the SFG internomic edition web page. We also ofer thanks to Robert Sevin's brother who speaks polish and has offered his help in establishing communications with Pnomic.

For more information visit http://www,

And thank you, young Mr. Sevin for any assistance you have already provided and all of that which you will provide inthe future.

Finally, we apologize for this, the truly lamest edition of any ackanomic newspaper ever and promise to offer a report on a featured nomic (as previously promised) in the next edition.

Date: Sat, 22 Feb 1997 18:21:56 -0900



Pumpkin Patch is undergoing some internal Turmoil. Their Pumpkin (speaker), Hugh, has been impeached after not sending any mail for five days. No Proposals, CFJs, or voting results were released during this period, nor was there any explanation given for the delay.Attempts to contact Hugh by phone failed.

The official charge was Conduct Unbecoming a Pumpkin.

Sbuchaza, the Grape (internomic liason), and supporter of Hugh, has resigned and Brandon Kruse has been elected GRAPE. Previously he had declined the nomination. He was renominated, an election was forced, and he won anyway.

His email address is

It appears as if Dr. West, who may be familiar to some of you, will be elected Pumpkin is Hugh's stead.


Swann, who maintains duel Agoran and Ackanomic citizenship, has is Agora's new Internomic Liason. His email address is gb485@cleveland.Freenet.Edu

Date: Thu, 27 Feb 1997 00:56:03 -0900

Steel Flea Gazette
Volume 2, Issue 2

This space haunted by the undead of Elder Wayne. For your own chunk of space coptact snowgod. Best rates in the newspaper industry!!!


Respected Acknaomic players snowgod and Calvin N Hobbes have reportedly been flooding the main Acknaomic list with messages that appear to be written in giberish. Experts are unsure what to make of the "talk", and have so far refrained from comment.

When questioned about the matter snowgod woiuld only say "Hariokic karitercesaj." Calvin N Hobbes was even more more vauge with his reply.

"Haniykiykipoombah" was all he would say.


Narf, who many believe has the coolest name in Ackanomic history, has been found to be the head of organized crime ring. No one is sure who else is involved in the racket, although speculation leans towards IdiotBoy who was quoted as saying "Yoo-Hoo!" when the crime ring was discovered, and Tammany has always leaned towards the underworld side of things.

Ex President Flychuck, who is an Expert on Organizations was quoted as saying that the Crime Ring does not yet exist, as it fails to state what kind of organization organized crime is, or if it is even organized at all.

Date: Sat, 8 Mar 1997 22:23:45 -0900

For the first time the Steel Flea Gazette has orignal previously unpublished news for you. Rather than belaboring the story though, I shall let the following transcript speak for itself.

SFG - Volume 2, Issue 3
In Which Harf strike IRC

Actual IRC Transcripts:

   snowgod: I would cook it on the stove (hence the stovetop) but that would require moving a weeks worth of mail and and old pan.
*** Catesby ( has joined channel #Ackanomic
    RSevin: So why doesn't your girlfriend play Acka? For that matter, why do you think Acka has historically been all male, or very close to it.
    RSevin: Hello Catesby.
   Catesby: hello?
   snowgod: Greetings Catesby.
   Catesby: Hi; what is this?
   snowgod: You must have found the web page :)
   Catesby: Yeah; on a search for gumballs.
    RSevin: Common problem, I hear. :)
   snowgod: You are kidding me. There was another one of those a while back.
   snowgod: ROFL
   snowgod: Perhaps we really should market gumballs.
   snowgod: It's a play by email game.
    RSevin: Now, tell me -- what causes a person to search for gumballs on the WWW?
   Catesby: Actually, I'm a gumball machine collector. Sort of a hobby.
   snowgod: Oh, we shopuld put him in touch with that other guy.
   snowgod: Perhaps he would know the value of our gumball machine offer
   Catesby: What's the offer.
   snowgod: he gives us a gumball machine in exchange for a link to his page on our gumball page.
   Catesby: Interesting. I'd hate to figure out the taxability status of the machine, though.
   Catesby: Officially, the game would probably be considered a huge partnership by the IRS.
    RSevin: It's not too specific at the moment, actually.
    RSevin: And he also offered money.
    RSevin: But I can see that you only have eyes for the gumball machine. :)
    RSevin: So was our page listed first when you searched for gumball pages?
   snowgod: Hmm. We were thinking of perhaps just giving him the link for free, but I do not know if it would pass a vote. In light of your visit, I may have to propose it officially.
   Catesby: No. It was a ways down the list. Of course, with AltaVista _everything's_ a ways down the list.
   snowgod: Did you use Excite, if you don't mind me asking?
   snowgod: We are first on excite. I checked it myself, even.
   Catesby: So this is another incarnation of the game of rules?
    RSevin: snowgod -- so it seems that nobody wants to try and get money for this link? And to think I was planning on passing a proposal that would just have a lot of useful keywords (like gumball) to make companies want to pay us money.
   snowgod: Well, We do not know too much about gumballs, but if you should browse around and decide to join our game, you could certainly propose all sorts of interesting amndments to our gumball rules :)
    RSevin: Catesby - That's one way of describing it
   Catesby: Hmm... Played it once under a different name -- we called it metamorphosis. Ate up _way_ too much of my time, though.
   snowgod: Since you made it this far, you really oughta check out the categorization of our rules and see what you think. I'd really be interested in knowing what an outsider would think of us.
   Catesby: And if you guys have an IRC channel, it'd be hopeless for me.
   snowgod: hehehe :)
   snowgod: The IRC thing is my fault I'm afraid :)
   Catesby: So you're the culprit. Sorry to talk and run, but I'll be off.

Date: Thu, 13 Mar 1997 02:38:18 -0900

Steal Flea Gazzette
Volum 2, Issue 4


In a move worthy of a Silver Moon Award, Robert Sevin and his faithful crew led an attack against an Agoran Submarine. Anonymous Sources have passed a transcript of this military action to yours truly, who will reprint it in full.

[The aforementioned transcript was accidentally cut off in the middle of the 380th line. Since the same transcript is reproduced in full in issue 4.5, it has been omitted here. -- Hist.]

Date: Thu, 13 Mar 1997 21:36:48 -0900

Steel Flea Gazette
Volume 2 - Issue 4.5


-- begin transcript --
-> [harf] PING
<Harf> PING!
<Harf> It's easy to tell that you once programmed passive sonar...
<Harf> Except you weren't that great at it because pinging is active sonar...
<RSevin> Screw you, buddy
<Harf> Screwed, sir.
<Harf> Make your depth six hundred feet!
<RSevin> Does your sub have ejector pods?
*** Lestrade ( has joined #Ackanomic
<Harf> Greetings.
<RSevin> Hello Lestrade.
<Lestrade> Hello
<RSevin> Will you vote yes on my proposal to allow Harf here to use Harf as his Acka name?
<RSevin> Since currently it is illegal for anyone to?
<Harf> Sevin's in a coma.
<Lestrade> I have no objections
*** Strider ( has joined #Ackanomic
<RSevin> Good... Harf is the one who discovered Harf, you know.
* Strider trumps in
<Harf> Flood tubes 1 and 3, Mr. Sevin.
<RSevin> Strider -- Will you vote yes on my proposal to allow Harf here to use Harf as his Acka name?
<RSevin> Since currently it is illegal for anyone to?
<Strider> Wait, don't shoot!
<Strider> RSevin: Absolutely.
<Harf> Analyze a firing solution, Mr. Strider.
<Strider> Aye, Keptin
<RSevin> Strider -- Great.
-> *harf* Strider is pretty quick.
<Harf> Bring us around to 175 degrees, Mr. Lestrade...
<Lestrade> Aye Aye!
<Strider> Captain, who am I targetting?
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, bring us to periscope depth.
<Harf> Target rival Ackanomic groups, Mr. Strider.
<Strider> Aye, Captain.
<RSevin> Aye, aye, sir.
<RSevin> At periscope depth, Captain.
<Strider> Firing solution plotted, Captain
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, you have the conn while I communicate with Canada.
<RSevin> Mr. Strider, you have the conn while I don't communicate with Canada
<Strider> Aye, sir.
<Lestrade> Mr. Strider, permission to go to the head?
<Strider> Granted, Mr. Lestrade
<RSevin> Mr. Strider, permission to speak freely?
<Strider> Could have sworn you outranked me, but go ahead.
<RSevin> Well, you have the conn, so of course I must request permission, sir.
<RSevin> Anyway, I just wanted to say that you've always been my favorite torpedo operator.
<RSevin> That's all.
<Strider> Aw, shucks. <scuffs boot> <blushes>
<Strider> Captain! We have visual contact!
<Lestrade> Mr. Strider, reporting back for duty - sir.
<Strider> To your post, Mr. Lestrade, we've sighted the enemy!
<Strider> Captain?
<RSevin> The Captain is communicating with Canada -- you have the conn, sir.
<Lestrade> I may have to go to the head again
<Strider> Mr. Sevin, in the absence of the Captain, I request that you take command.
<RSevin> All right, Mr. Strider. Mr. Lestrade, you have the conn.
<Lestrade> Aye Aye sir!
<Strider> <returns to weapons>
<Lestrade> Range, Mr. Strider?
<Strider> Range to target 200 meters, sir
<Lestrade> Weapons ready to fire?
<Harf> Gentlemen, I have the conn.
<Strider> Yes, Mr. Lestrade.
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, make your depth 600 feet.
<Lestrade> I return the conn to you Mr. Harf, sir
<Harf> Plot an intercept course, Mr. Lestrade.
<Harf> All stations report.
<RSevin> Depth 600 feet, sir.
<Lestrade> I return the conn to you Mr. Harf, sir
<Harf> Plot an intercept course, Mr. Lestrade.
<Harf> All stations report.
<RSevin> Depth 600 feet, sir.
<RSevin> Navigation reporting, sir.
<Strider> Weapons ready, sir. Tubes 1 and 3 are flooded.
<Lestrade> Plotting...... Intercept course laid in
<Harf> All hands, rig for silent running.
<RSevin> Engines rigged for silent running, sir.
<Lestrade> Aye sir
<Strider> Aye, sir
<RSevin> String of noisy cans that bump into one another retracted, sir.
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, report sonar contacts.
<RSevin> Sir, we have a one sonar contact, bearing 170 degrees, range 200 meters.
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, bring us to one-quarter speed.
<Harf> Do we have a firing solution plotted, Mr. Strider?
<Lestrade> Aye, sir. One-quarter speed.
<Strider> Aye, Captain. Solution plotted.
<Harf> Flash tubes one and three. Flood tubes 5 and 7.
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, right full rudder.
<Lestrade> Right full rudder, sir
<Strider> Aye, Captain. Torpedos 1 and 3 away.Tubes 5 and 7 flooded.
<Strider> <ship shudders>
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, bring us to 400 feet from target.
<RSevin> Captain, sonar contact appears to be a giant starfish! Approximately 7500 meters in radius, sir.
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, make your depth 800 feet, 15 degree down bubble.
<RSevin> Aye aye, sir.
<Lestrade> Aye sir. Bringing us to 400 ft
<Harf> Repeat, Sonar?
<RSevin> Contact appears to be a giant starfish, sir. 7500 meters in radius!
<RSevin> Depth 800 feet, sir.
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, full stop!
<Lestrade> Full stop sir!
<Harf> Mr. Strider, flood all remaining tubes and compute a firing solution.
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, ping the contact.
<Strider> Aye, Captain, all tubes flooded
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, speed all ahead flank on my mark.
-> [harf] PING
<Harf> Left full rudder.
<Lestrade> Aye, sir
<Harf> Sonar, report.
<RSevin> Sir, contact pinged. It appears to be moving toward us in response!
<Lestrade> Left full rudder, sir
<Harf> Fire all tubes.
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, on my mark. one...two...three... mark!
<Strider> Aye, sir! All torpedoes away!
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, report on the torpedoes' progress.
<Harf> All hands, rig for impact.
* Strider braces
<Lestrade> Aye, sir Full ahead flank
<Harf> Rudder amidships, Mr. Lestrade.
<Lestrade> Lestrade braces for impact
<Lestrade> Aye sir, done
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, make your depth 1200 feet, 20 degree down bubble.
<RSevin> The torpedos have impacted upon the target. It seems to have fragmented into 5 smaller starfish!
<RSevin> Aye, sir.
<Harf> Mr. Strider, prepare starfish countermeasures.
<Strider> Aye, sir.
<RSevin> Sir, depth is 1200 feet.
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, plot an evasive course.
<Lestrade> Plotting course.....
*** Strider has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
<Lestrade> course plotted
<RSevin> Mr. Strider has passed out, Captain!
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, are you familiar with the tactical displays?
<RSevin> Yes, sir.
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, report to Mr. Strider's post.
<RSevin> Sir, I believe the aft starfish is attempting to communicate with my telepathically.
<Harf> Repeat, Tactical?
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, you have both sonar and navigation.
<Lestrade> Aye,sir
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, deploy all starfish countermeasures. Prepare telepathic jammer.
<RSevin> Captain, I believe the aft starfish is attempting to communicate with me telepathically. It seems to be requesting all of our dehydrated breakfasts.
*** Strider ( has joined #Ackanomic
<Harf> Mr. Strider, you have Tactical.
<RSevin> Aye, sir, deploying starfish countermeasures. Telepathic jammer enabled, sir.
<Strider> Starfish countermeasures away, Captain!
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, return to your post.
<Strider> Aye, sir
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, you have Navigation.
<Harf> Engage telepathic jammer.
<Lestrade> Aye, sir
<Harf> Sonar, report on countermeasures.
<RSevin> The telepathic jammer appears to be working, sir -- I have lost contact with the aft starfish.
<Harf> Excellent, Mr. Sevin.
<Harf> All hands report.
<RSevin> Sir, the countermeasures seem to be disprupting their formation. They are now in a pentagonal formation, rather than their previous spherical cluster.
*** Anti ( has joined #Ackanomic
<Anti> Hello.
* Anti wonders if anyone is alive
<RSevin> Sonar reporting, Captain. The starfish are moving away at approximately 500 meters per second.
<Strider> Sir, we are down to one charge of starfish coutermeasures. We have, however, reloaded 2 torpedoes and are ready for firing.
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, all ahead full.
<Harf> Mr. Anti, report to engineering.
<Lestrade> All ahead full, sir.
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, bring us to periscope depth.
<Harf> 10 degree up bubble.
<RSevin> Aye, captain.
<Harf> Mr. Strider, compute a firing solution on the nearest starfish.
<RSevin> We have reached periscope depth, captain.
<Strider> Aye sir. ........ Firing solution ready, sir
* Anti begins searching for SCUBA equipment
<Lestrade> Aye, sir
<RSevin> Indeed it is, sir.
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, report all sonar contacts.
<Harf> Mr. Strider, do we have any more torpedoes ready?
<Lestrade> At this rate of speed we will arrive at Cuba in 37 minutes. Sir
<Harf> Mr. Anti, damage report.
<Strider> Aye, sir. We have three.
<Harf> Excellent, Mr. Lestrade.
<Anti> I have no idea where I am. I think this is the galley.
<Anti> I'm still looking for engineering...
<Harf> Mr. Anti, I suggest you report to engineering before I have Mr. Sevin confine you to the brig.
<RSevin> Captain, we have 2 sonar contacts. One is bearing 270 degrees, range 300 meters. The other is bearing 30 degrees, range 600 meters. The first appears to be a shoe. The second appears to be another submarine.
<Anti> Could you point me towards Engineering?
<Lestrade> Mr. Anti, Engineering is next to the head.
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, all stop.
<Anti> Oh.
<Lestrade> All stop sir
* Anti begins wandering around randomly
<Harf> Mr. Strider, plot a firing solution on the submarine.
<RSevin> Mr. Anti, the head is behind the Nav Console
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, can you give me any more information on the sub? And what is the shoe size of the first contact?
<Strider> Aye sir. Firing solution plotted. Ready on your command.
<RSevin> Sir, the submarine appears to be a red, '87 model. The shoe is size 10.5 wide.
<Harf> How many torpedoes ready to fire, Mr. Strider?
<RSevin> Captain, the submarine appears to hail from Agora Nomic.
<Strider> Four, sir.
* Anti thinks he's found engineering...
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, make your depth 200 meters. 1 degree down bubble.
<Lestrade> We don't have the speed to keep up with that kind of Sub. sir
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, all ahead one quarter.
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, rig for silent running.
<Lestrade> All ahead one- quarter
<Harf> All hands prepare for silent running.
<Harf> Mr. Anti, damage report.
<Lestrade> Rigging for silent running, sir
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, is the submarine a friendly/
<Strider> Silent running, Aye, sir.
<Anti> Um... there's some water on the floor, better call a plumber... I don't see any damage.
<Harf> Excellent, Mr. Anti.
<RSevin> Captain, Agora Nomic is known for it's opposition to many actions made by Ackanomic. I would classify their submarine as unfriendly.
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, plot an intercept course.
<RSevin> Sir, depth is 200 meters.
<Lestrade> Course plotted. sir
*** Strider changes topic to "A.S.S. WAYNE"
* Anti removes a maintenance panel
* Anti does something to some wiring
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, has she the Agora spotted us?
<Anti> Sir, there appears to be a short circut here.
<Anti> We'll have to power down the engine.
<Harf> Mr. Anti, I need MORE POWER!
<RSevin> Sir, the Agora appears to be concentrating on isolating a loophole (approximate size, 1 micrometer) on their starboard side. They don't appear to have noticed us.
<Lestrade> Estimated time for firing range, one minute. Sir
<Harf> Excellent, Mr. Sevin. Mr. Lestrade, inform me when we are within firing range.
<Anti> Better up that estimate, Lestrade. We'll start slowing down any second now...
<Harf> Mr. Strider, recompute the firing solution on the sub. Load all dehydrated breakfasts into another tube and launch at the starfish.
<Strider> Aye, sir!
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, disengage the telepathic jammer and request the assistance of the starfish.
<Lestrade> We are in firing range....... NOW
<RSevin> Telepathic jammer disengaged, sir. I am attempting to make contact with one of the starfish.
<Strider> Recomputing solution. The breakfasts are being loaded.
<Harf> Mr. Strider, you may fire when ready.
* Anti takes something and attaches it near the main drive shaft. Ominous lights begin blinking.
<Strider> Sir?
<Harf> Mr. Anti, I NEED MORE POWER!
* Anti starts putting on a diving suit.
<Strider> Fire at whom?!
<Harf> Mr. Strider, fire at Agora Nomic.
<RSevin> Captain, contact has been made. The starfish appear agreeable. What shall I communicate to them?
<Strider> Breakfasts loaded, sir.
<Strider> Torpedo away!
<Harf> Mr. Strider, fire breakfasts at starfish.
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, request assistance in disabling- but not destroying- Agora Nomic.
* Anti attempts to open a hatch and escape before the plastic explosives go off.
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, defuse the plastique, please.
<Strider> Firing breakfasts, Captain. Shall I fire another torpedo at the Agora ship, sir?
<RSevin> Captain, they have agreed to assist us. They appear to be approaching the Agora Nomic at a high rate of speed.
<Harf> Negative, Mr. Strider...
<Lestrade> Aye, sir
* Anti draws a gun and screams "You'll never take me alive!"
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, report all sonar contacts. Bearing and speed.
* Anti begins laughing manaically.
<Lestrade> Captain. I suggest we take evasive action before they lock onto our course
<RSevin> Captain, I have taken the liberty of ejecting the engineering section in order to be rid of Mr. Anti and the plastique.
<Harf> Mr. Strider, prepare "Insane engineer countermeasures"
* Strider whips out a knife, and throws it, pinning Anti's gun arm to the bulkhead
<Anti> Ow!
<Strider> Countermeasures, aye.
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, evasive actions!
<Anti> 10...
<Anti> 9...
<Anti> 8...
<Lestrade> Aye, sir
<Anti> 7...
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, the plastique.
<Anti> 6...
<Anti> 5...
<Anti> 4...
<Anti> 3...
<Anti> 2...
<RSevin> Captain, the shoe has moved away. We have 6 sonar contacts. The 5 starfish are bearing 20 degrees, speed 700 meters per second. The submarine is bearing 30 degrees, speed 0.
<Anti> 1...
<Anti> Oops.
<Anti> I guess I was supposed to attach the RED wire, then.
<Lestrade> Plastique diffused
* Strider snickers under his breath
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, update your report.
<Harf> Excellent work, Mr. Lestrade.
<Harf> Mr. Strider, kick the shit out of Mr. Anti.
<Strider> Aye sir.
<Lestrade> Thank you sir
<Harf> Mr. Lestrade, work on those evasive maneuvers.
* Strider proceeds toward Anti
<Lestrade> Aye, sir.
<RSevin> Captain, the Agora seems to be disabled after the assult by the starfish.
<Harf> Mr. Anti, get the shit beaten out of you by Strider.
* Strider removes his knife
<Lestrade> Plotting course
* Anti laughs maniacally.
* Strider escorts Anti to the brig.
<Harf> Mr. Sevin, ask the starfish to bring the Agora to the surface.
<Lestrade> Changing course to 160 degrees sir
<RSevin> Aye, sir. The starfish appear to be complying.
<Lestrade> one-six-zero degrees sir

  • Strider returns to his station.
    <Harf> Excellent, Mr. Lestrade.
    <Strider> I have Tactical, sir
    <Harf> Good work, Mr. Strider.
    <Strider> Sir.
    <Harf> Mr. Sevin, make your depth 0 meters. Repeat, 0 meters.
    <RSevin> Aye, sir.
    <Harf> Mr. Lestrade, all ahead one third, stabilize your course.
    <RSevin> Captain, we have surfaced.
    <Harf> Mr. Lestrade, plot an intercept course.
    <Lestrade> Ahead one third.
    <Lestrade> plotting intercept course.
    <Harf> Mr. Sevin, prepare an boarding party... Considering the size of the crew, your options are limited.
    <Lestrade> On course two-zero-zero we will intercept in 2 minutes at present sa
    <Lestrade> speed
    <Harf> Mr. Lestrade, bring us to full stop when we are within 50 meters of the contact.
    * Anti volunteers to go with the boarding party
    <RSevin> Mr. Strider, you are the boarding crew. You can take Mr. Anti with you, as you please.
    <Strider> Aye, sir.
    <Lestrade> Full stop. sir
    * Strider releases Anti
    <Harf> Mr. Anti, no more plastique on my vessel, please.
    *** Sarud ( has joined #Ackanomic
    <Strider> Sir, shall we take control of the Agora ship?
    <Anti> I'm innocent! Lestrade did it! I swear!
    <Harf> Mr. Sarud, go with Mr. Strider and Mr. Anti...
    <Sarud> /me nods
    <Harf> Mr. Strider, board the ship, and plunder it.
    *** Sarud has quit IRC ( I closed the Web-Irc-Applet. [])
    <Harf> Mr. Strider, Mr. Anti, Mr. Sarud: Prepare eyepatches.
    <Strider> Aye, aye, sir.
    <Lestrade> I'll cut you for that remark Mr. Anti
    <Strider> Mr. Sarud has trumped out, sir.
    <Harf> A spineless cur, indeed.
    <Harf> Your party is once again two.
    * Strider passes out the eyepatches
    <Harf> Mr. Sevin, thank the starfish for their help.
    * Anti put on an eyepatch
    * Strider dons his eyepatch and brandishes a cutlass from hammerspace
    <RSevin> Aye, sir, starfish thanked./
    <Harf> Mr. Sevin, report range to disabled contact.
    <RSevin> Sir, range is 20 meters.
    <Harf> Mr. Lestrade, all stop.
    <Strider> At your command, Mr. Sevin.
    <Lestrade> All stop, sir
    <Harf> Excellent.
    <Harf> Mr. Strider, you may begin your assault when ready.
    <Harf> Oh, and Mr. Strider?
    <Strider> Aye, sir
    <Strider> Sir?
    <Harf> I would appreciate it if you called their crew "scurvy scallywag rabscallions", Mr. Strider.
    <Strider> Sir!
    * Strider leads Anti to the hatch.
    <Harf> Mr. Sevin, keep me informed about all sonar contacts.
    *** Sarud ( has joined #Ackanomic
    <Lestrade> Permission to report to sick-bay sir. I've cut my hand on the compass!
    * Strider and Anti cross to the Agora ship.
    <Harf> Mr. Lestrade? I seem to have missed that last comment.
    <RSevin> Aye,sir.
    <Lestrade> I've cut my hand on the compass sir. I must report to sick-bay
    * Anti begins searching for Agorans, er, scurvy scallyway rabscallions.
    <Harf> Mr. Sarud, report to the sickbay as our medical technician.
    <Sarud> Right
    <Harf> Mr. Lestrade, show Mr. Sarud the way to sickbay and let him treat you.
    <Lestrade> Aye sir.
    *** Lestrade has quit IRC (I closed the Web-Irc-Applet. [])
    <Harf> We've lost Mr. Lestrade. Mr. Sarud, you have Navigation.
    <Sarud> Sir, I seem to have lost my first patient
    <Harf> Mr. Sarud, report to Navigation- these things happen all too frequently on this vessel.
    <Strider> <radio contact with Strider>
    <Sarud> Sir, I don't know how to handle this
    <Strider> Captain, this is Strider.
    <Harf> Go on, Mr. Strider.
    <Sarud> My first patient, and now he's gone
    <Harf> Mr. Sarud, get a hold of yourself, man!
    * Harf gestures dramatically!
    <Sarud> Sorry, sir
    <Strider> We caught them completely off guard, Captain. They were studying a copy of our ruleset.
    <Anti> Captain, they appear to be suffering from a fork() bomb.
    <Harf> Excellent, Mr. Strider. Was the insult deployed?
    <Strider> Aye, sir. They were completely taken aback
    <Strider> The captain broke into tears.
    <Harf> Excellent, Mr. Strider. Take their gold and their women.
    <Harf> Oh, wait. Women aren't allowed on subs...
    <Strider> <leers> <over the radio>
    <Harf> Take whatever plant and animal life you find, then!
    <Strider> They are on this one, sir.
    <Harf> Excellent, Mr. Strider.
    <Strider> Strider out, sir.
    <Harf> Mr. Strider, return to our vessel.
    <Strider> Aye.
    <Harf> All hands, report to the bridge.
    <Sarud> Aye.
    <Harf> In honor of our amazing victory today, I hereby order an impromptu game of GHOST!
    <Harf> q
    * Strider returns, laden with a large "Bag 'o Gold"^TM
    <RSevin> Yes, SIR!
    * Anti grabs a "I Found a Loophole" T-Shirt before he leaves
    * Anti returns
    * Strider also carries a struggling scantily-clad woman over his shoulder
    <Harf> Mr. Sevin, you have the ghost-conn.
    <RSevin> Mr. Strider, please unhand Ms. Kelly Martin.
    * Strider deposits the woman in the Captain's lap.
    <Harf> Mr. Sevin, you have the conn while I am in my quarters...
    <Harf> With the prisoners.
    * Strider presents Mr. Sevin with the gold.
    <RSevin> Captain, I insist that you participate in this game of Ghost...sir.
    <RSevin> Thank you, Mr. Strider.
    <Strider> Aye, sir
    <Harf> As you wish, Mr. Sevin. I'll have to lock the women in my quarters.
    <Anti> Anyone want this T-Shirt?
    <Sarud> Shall I stand guard over them, sir?
    <Harf> There.
    <Harf> No, Mr. Sarud. You should play with us.
    <Harf> So to speak.
    <Harf> Mr. Sevin, would you explain the rules?
    <Strider> Captain, may I respectfully point out that there is only one of her.
    <Sarud> /me nods
    <Harf> Mr. Strider, excellent point.
    <Anti> Perhaps it was the fork() bomb.
    *** Strider has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
    <Harf> Mr. Sevin, I think I need a refresher on how to play GHOST.
    <RSevin> Shall I explain how to play Ghost to the crew, captain?
    <Harf> Mr. Sevin, I would be grateful.
    <RSevin> Yes, sir.
    -- end transcript --


    Details forthcoming.

    Date: Sat, 29 Mar 1997 21:30:19 -0900

    SFG Internomic Edition
    Volume 1, Issue 3


    Pumpkin Patch nomic recently passed a series of ETP rules similar to the ones proposed in Ackanomic. If Ackanomic's proposal passes, the roadblocks to Pumpkin Patch become a trade partner should be miminal.


    Tune in Tommorow


    Reliable sources in Agora have reported seeing the house of Calvin N Hobbes pass by their nomic on the way to infinity.


    and apologies for the low quality of this issue.

    Date: Mon, 31 Mar 1997 20:50:27 -0900 (AKST)

    SFG Internomic Edition
    Volume 1, Issue 4



    Subject: Re: ETP and the Human Response

    Sorry I didn't get this to you sooner. Let me know if you have any suggestions.

    On the Entity Transfer Protocol

    Snowgod has very kindly invited me to address here some of the concerns expressed by Ackanomicians over the proposed Entity Transfer Protocol. First let me say that I am pleased that the ETP has attracted such intelligent commentary in Ackanomic. This to me is what nomic is all about: the pleasure of endless discourse about our little mind toys.

    Now to the matter at hand. Malenkai has very insightfully used the internet as a metaphor to address the issue of Internomic trade. This is an accurate metaphor, but I would suggest that Malenkai has not pushed it to its ultimate conclusion. His initial point, as I understand it, is that the ETP in its current form resembles the phone system rather than the more desirable packet-switched "cloud-like" network of the internet. While the ETP requires one-to-one connections between individual nomics (in the form of similar ETPs), the ideal would be a system that would allow Ackanomic to trade with any other nomic.

    I agree that the latter many-to-many structure is the ideal, and I would be very interested in hearing proposals for alternative systems that could achieve this ideal; as Snowgod has suggested, the proposed ETP is merely a test of one possible system. But I do think that some sort of shared protocol will be necessary to achieve many-to-many connectivity between nomics, and that ultimately this shared protocol has to boil down to the passing of similar rules in different nomics. The internet is, in fact, a perfect example of this principle, being founded on a shared protocol. The various computers and networks comprising the internet would not be able to communicate with each other if they did not have available to them the shared language of the Internet Protocol. Every computer capable of sending a message over the internet literally has the IP as a part of its "ruleset." Thus while I can see that different protocols for inter-nomic trade might be more efficient than the proposed ETP, I challenge Ackanomicians to develop a system for meaningful trade that doesn't depend on any shared protocol at all.

    One possible alternative to the decentralized ETP method for establishing such a protocol would be for Internomic to pass some sort of central protocol, and indeed Malenkai has proposed such a solution as a more efficient alternative to the ETP. Such a system could certainly work, but in my opinion would necessarily involve severe incursions into the sovereignty of member nomics. While the ETP would allow for some local variation in the treatment of imported entities, an Internomic rule would impose the same system on all nomics. Furthermore, an Internomic entity transfer system would depart from the current internomic conception of nomics as individuals, as atoms if you will, and would necessarily extend the jurisdiction of internomic rules to intrude upon the inner workings of member nomics. How, for example, could an individual player of a member nomic own an entity whose transfer was governed solely by Internomic rules? As they stand now, Internomic rules cannot refer to or govern the actions of individual players of member nomics.

    As for the question of potential disputes and judgments concerning transferred entities, this issue most definitely deserves attention. But I disagree that, in the absence of formally defined judgment procedures, nomics participating in the ETP will find themselves having to interpret the rules of other nomics. This is precisely the situation that the Entity Behavior Rule is designed to circumvent. Because an entity's Entity Behavior Rule actually becomes part of the host nomic's ruleset, disputes concerning the entity should be able to be resolved solely from within that ruleset. This places a heavy burden on the drafters of EBRs and the creators of entities, of course--EBRs will have to be phrased in terms simple and adaptable enough to be functional in any nomic. The rules that currently define our entities' behaviors will almost certainly not be adequate to the task of defining their behavior in any possible nomic. But I think we're up to the challenge. While it might eventually be advisable to incorporate "consultants" from an entity's nomic of origin into the dispute resolution process, in the absence of such a system I think individual nomics will be required by the ETP as it now stands to look only to their own rules to determine the behavior of entities.

    In conclusion, let me urge you to let the ETP try its legs: only by putting it into action can we evaluate its effectiveness.

    Thank you,
    Dr. West
    Spud, PEAR, Supreme Court Justice
    Pumpkin Patch Nomic

    Date: Wed, 30 Apr 1997 19:18:07 -0900

    STeal Flea Gazette - End Month Edition
    Volume 2, Issue 5


    snowgod, newspaper baron and other things, announced to day that he is closing down our sister paper, the SFG internomic edition. When asked why, he announced "I don't have time to answer that question".


    Twice this week, both officially and not so officially, Pheobe the steel flea told Ackanomic that it is in the grips of a horrible illness, and that it has lost the will ro the desire to change.

    Date: Sat, 31 May 1997 11:31:54 -0900

    Steal Flea Gazette
    Special Month End Saving our Butts Issue

    SFG has othing to report this onth. In fact, the only thing we wish to print in these pages a congratulations to mr cwm, publisher of is for his decisive stand on the matter of paradoxical truth.

    Oh yeah, we lied. ne more thing. Mr. Nacho, publisher of SFG, will soon have an article published in ApparentDepth, and webish type of zine. Oh, and one more thing, They Might Be Giants give an interview in this months Internet Underground Magazine

    That is all.

    Oh yeah, and....

    Date: Fri, 20 Jun 1997 14:52:46 -0900
    Subject: Stuff ya gotta know . .

    In this issue we present to you "Things you gotta know!" Next month, a first in the history of SFG--real news!

    A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

    In the 1940s, the FCC assigned television's Channel 1 to mobile services (two-way radios in taxicabs, for instance) but did not re-number the other channel assignments. That is why your TV set has channels 2 and up, but no channel 1.

    The "save" icon on Microsoft Word shows a floppy disk, with the shutter on backwards.

    The combination "ough" can be pronounced in nine different ways. The following sentence contains them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."

    The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.

    The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

    Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning "containing arsenic."

    Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason.

    Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.

    The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah Mat," which means "the king is dead".

    Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head."

    Camel's milk does not curdle.

    In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

    An animal epidemic is called an epizootic.

    Murphy's Oil Soap is the chemical most commonly used to clean elephants.

    The United States has never lost a war in which mules were used.

    Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created especially for Ronald Reagan.

    All porcupines float in water.

    Hang On Sloopy is the official rock song of Ohio.

    Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ?

    Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while he was host of "Lorne Greene's Wild Kingdom."

    Cat's urine glows under a blacklight.

    If you bring a raccoon's head to the Henniker, New Hampshire town hall, you are entitled to receive $.10 from the town.

    The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

    Non-dairy creamer is flammable.

    The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)

    Texas is also the only state that is allowed to fly its state flag at the same height as the U.S. flag.

    The only nation who's name begins with an "A", but doesn't end in an "A" is Afghanistan.

    Pamela Anderson Lee is Canada's Centennial Baby, being the first baby born on the centennial anniversary of Canada's independence.

    When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not "playing." They actually pass out from sheer terror.

    The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

    Date: Wed, 2 Jul 1997 11:46:47 -0900

    In this months issue of the Steal Flea Gazette we bring you Hats, lots of them. This was a rule who's time came and went all to quickly. Several players submited wonderful hat designs but in this editors official capacity as Registrar, he was never able to release them. Now, in the SFG, you can read all about Ackanomic hats.

    SFG Volume 2 Issue 7
    In Which we bring you hats

    Mohammed's Hat:

    My hat is a white cloth hat similar to the khaki ones you see on British explorers and army types in movies about Africa. The hat is suitable for wearing in the desert. There is nothing else extraordinary about it. The reason I chose this hat is because it is suitable for wearing in the desert, and it gets very hot where I live. Also, wearing it prevents people from seeing that I have pulled out gobs of my hair in frustration that in the middle of everything else that is going on I have to sit here and describe my hat to everyone. It's a modest hat and is probably very embarrassed at all this excitement.

    Actually I don't mind describing it because it brings things to my mind that I've always liked about this hat but have never really sat and thought about-- like the way I can tip it down over my eyes easily, lay back in my chair and snooze.

    The other day two peculiar people stopped by my Oasis while I was dozing thus and grilled me at length about my hat. I was irritated about the interruption but didn't think anything of it until this Sunday when I saw a familiar face on the cover of Parade (the weekly pseudo-magazine delivered with one of the Newspapers, I forget which). Seems she earned $1.2 million last year. I don't think the name that appeared on the cover of Parade is the same as the name she gave me that afternoon when she and her associate claimed to be from some investigatory agency or other. So, perhaps my hat has some other sort of ability or charactaristic of which I am unaware. Or perhaps I'm just babbling, trying to fill 25 lines.

    Red Barn's Hat:

    My hat was once infinitely tall, but is now infinitely small, having been stepped on by the Big Wide-Footed Giant. It has finite width, however; and that width is one-half of an average cat-height. It now appears to be a perfectly round disc, which stays easily balanced on top of my swelled head. It must not be perfectly round, however, as the ratio of its circumference to diameter is "about three".

    Be that as it may, it has broad stripes in primary and secondary colors, which originally ran around the sides of the hat and now are collapsed, sharing space. Which stripes are visible at what times is indeterminate, and frequently varies as the wave function breaks on the shore. The emblem on the top of the hat was once indeterminate, but as the top now exists, is merely a small emblem reading "My spire reached infinitely high, and I'm not even a stupid t-shirt."

    Vynd's Hat:

    My hat is a slab of concrete, about seven inches thick in most places. It is rather jagged and uneven around the edges, but at it's widest points must be about 15 feet by 10 feet. The bottom is quite smooth, except for an indentation near the center where my head goes when I am wearing. The top is also pretty regular, except for a large sign sticking out about 10 feet out of the top, which reads: "NO TURN ON RED." There are some pretty yellow dashes painted on the top, near one of the edges.

    I choose this for my hat because of something a friend of mine said once. In a moment of Zen like sagacity during an English class with me, expounded: "A man with a brick on his head, shall grow no taller."

    Clearly, this is sound advice. As it happens, I am quite tall myself. This has on occassion caused me problems, trying to squeze into seats tha are to small, having to look down on almost everyone I meet, stuff like that.

    Thus I decided to get a large brick. This one was the first one I ran across. I haven't actually put it on yet, I think I could stand to get maybe one more inch first, and it's kinda hard to fit through doors. I've gotten some nice purple yarn to tie it on with though, and I've made a sign to hang from the bottom, down in front of my face, with the quote from above on it.

    [Editors note: Vynds hat is particularly lovely]

    Malenkai's Hat:

    I want my hat to look like a hat. I chose that design beause it was the first thing I thought of, and the rules required me to choose something, and write this sentence saying why I chose that something. My hat has about 22 or so more lines of Bandwidth-Wasting Gizz in its description, to comply with the rule, which is being made up on the fly. Originally I wanted to include treasure clues in the description of my hat, but I realised that with all the BWG in the forum, no one would have time to read it. Moreover, this game is so much work for me that I do not have the time to do the things I like the best, such as solve and bury treasures. It seems that others, for some reason, do not have this problem, but I do. Am I at 25 yet. I have to count, wait ... only 12 oh well stream of conscientness writing was never my long suit but I'm gonna try to make this sentence run on for the rest of the description except that I will probably have to stop and count again and lose my train of thought which is admittedly not very interesting and will not be read because it is lumped in with every one elses 25 line description which will add to 625 lines if everyone complies which may kill sendmail on wilma when sent out, who knows, but now I must stop and count again only at 19 and I have nothing left in my stream of conscientness queue and do not want to stop and look up how to spell that word because it will make this take longer than it needs to and since it is in a pile of 625 lines of text no one will read it anyway so what is the point time to count again only 23 two more lines and I can get back to some more acka work I hope those that are reading this are getting enjoyment from it 25 done!

    Techno's Hat:

    My hat is a simple black beret with a bright red button in the center.

    Alfvaen's Hat:

    There are so many different designs for hats, it's hard to know which one to pick. For instance, should it fit over a Prosthetic Forehead with a huge rack of antlers coming out of the front? But I believe putting hats over Prosthetic Foreheads is still illegal. (And R2099 says nothing about having to wear it...) So. Well, I'm sure that top hats will be overused, so in this case I'm just going to go for a fedora. One of those drab brown things. But very soft to the touch(and never requiring brushing), so that it's a pleasure to put on and take off. It will, of course, fit my head exactly(when I have no Prosthetic Forehead on), and, most miraculously, will not endow me with "hat hair" when I remove it. (Inside it will have a remarkable nanotech setup of combs etc. which will return my hair to its original state when I'm about to take it off.) The brim will be just wide enough to shield my eyes from the sun when it's in my eyes, and will extend itself(unobtrusively)as necessary to perform this. Same deal for keeping rain off of me--the brim will maneuver itself so as to guide any rain falling on it off to one side in a totally harmless stream. The hat will, of course, be bulletproof(marvelous what they can do with nanotech nowadays), rigid as a hard hat against other impacts(in fact, better, because it will dissipate the force so I feel none of it), and also resistant to the effects of lasers, whether Military or Pulse, due to a thin reflective layer in the middle. (Any burns on the outside will be mended by the nanobots in less than a second.) Finally, it will possess little invisible mirrors, so that I can see at any angle around or behind me with my mental command, and little magnifying/telescopic lenses for viewing up close or far away.

    /dev/joe's Hat:


    Robert Sevin's Hat:

    My Ackanomic hat is a life-sized replica of the Ackanomic Gaol, complete with infinite cells, being held aloft by a small robotic replica of Elder Wayne in true Atlas style. Elder Wayne is garbed in a bright white toga, and is wearing a belt. Hanging off the belt like Christmas tree ornaments are Agora Nomic, Ackanomic and InterNomic (the actual nomics themselves, in their entirety, not replicas). Tattooed on Elder Wayne's chest is the most recently distributed proposal in Ackanomic. This updates automatically, with the help of a cadre of tiny robotic fairy tattooists. These fairies fly out of the underside of the hat's Gaol, quickly update the tattoo, perform a small light show for anyone who happens to be within visual range of the hat, and then return to where they came from. The hat's Gaol has the special feature that it keeps track of who is in the real Gaol, generates small robotic replicas of whoever is currently in Gaol, and projects them into the appropriate place in the Gaol that is on my hat. On the roof of the Gaol that is on my hat, there is a large, circular stage erected. It has the special property of appearing the same (both in sound and vision) from all directions. On this stage is a small robotic replica of Elvis Presley, who repeatedly plays the song Jailhouse Rock. Elvis is wearing a white jumpsuit, and is wearing a hat that is identical to my Ackanomic hat. Occasionally (with no detectable pattern) instead of Elvis singing Jailhouse Rock, small robotic replicas of the Blues Brothers will appear on stage and perform Jailhouse Rock, while Elvis stands aside and watches the show. Very rarely will Elvis and the Blues Brothers perform it together. When this occurs, all of the robotic occupants of the Gaol that is on my hat are taken to the roof to witness the concert. Once the dual performance is complete, the occupants are returned to their appropriate locations in the Gaol that is on my hat. The hat is held to my head by extensive use of duct tape on Elder Wayne's feet. Since this causes Elder Wayne's feet to itch occasionally, the same group of fairies that maintains the tattoo on his back also periodically apply a magical and mysterious balm to his feet (through the duct tape, somehow) that has the effect of alleviating the itching and making his feet turn bright blue. Since his feet are covered with duct tape, the latter effect cannot be witnessed.

    I chose this design for my hat because I was in a particularly harfy mood when I decided to sit down and write the description. I felt that the instances of recursion would please the party formerly known as (None Yet), and that having Agora Nomic on my hat could only be good.

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