The Big White Gazette

"Wasting Bandwidth Since Last Week"

Continuing our look at Trinkets and Treasure, this issue the Big White Gazette looks at those Trinkets which, while not necessarily Antiquities, have spent large chunks of their lifetime Underground.

Yes, some Trinkets just seem to be best-suited to being buried as Treasures, found again, and then reburied. Some have served well in this capacity, but none better than the No Tea, which has been buried a whopping four times so far(by Mohammed, /dev/joe[twice], and fnord). While currently enjoying an above-ground sojourn of over two months, it seems likely that this spunky little entity will not stay there forever...

Runners-up, at three times buried, are the Exquisite Dead Guy and the Lucky Ball and Chain. These two trinkets are both TMBG references(the No Tea, a bit more obscure, is a reference to the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Infocom Software game), and the Exquisite Dead Guy definitely seems to prefer inhumation as a lifestyle.

There are a few which have been underground twice: the cheap plastic imitation of the Amulet of Yendor, Fibber the Low-Grade Brass-Painted Cheapo Plastic Flea, the Golden Frinking Straw, the Hubert Feathers, the Secret Decoder Ring, the Silver Shovel, and Strider's Presidential Vision.

What is it about certain trinkets that make them more likely than others to be reburied? We asked up-and-coming treasure-hunting hotshot, Alfvaen.

A: One of the factors is that the ones who enjoy finding treasures the most, and are the best at it, also enjoy burying treasures themselves. So what you get is someone unearthing a treasure, and having the trinket around for a while, and then ending up burying it later when they want to create a new treasure.

BWG: I can certainly see this being the case with you and /dev/joe, although /dev/joe seems to accumulate trinkets faster than he buries--witness last month's mass trinket destruction, many of which were found in treasures. fnord also tends to keep things in circulation. I think that breadbox may perhaps be more interested in keeping the trinkets he finds, as souvenirs.

A: Well, breadbox is more of a finder than a burier, I think. The "Hubert Feathers" was created and buried specifically to find another treasure, and even the adjunct treasure he created for that featured only one minor trinket, and the rest bonds, money and gadgets. I myself actually prefer to create new trinkets and bury them, like I did with my first few treasures, but with what seems to be a growing amount of currency tied up in trinkets, it seems best to make use of the ones we have.

BWG: Do you notice any discernible pattern in the types of trinkets that are reburied?

A: If it's a hard treasure, you want to bury an expensive trinket, to make people want to work harder for it. /dev/joe will often bury a bunch of small trinkets together as one lot, which makes his own PE entry less crowded. <grin> But apart from that, I don't think there's a real pattern to it. Most of the new trinkets created today are either big ones intended as tax shelters, or small ones trying to exploit Malenkai's Loophole, or for humorous intent. The Silver Shovel idea is interesting, though, and if it continues it may surpass the No Tea in reburyings.

BWG: Do you have any hints for the treasure hunters out there?

A: <grin> I knew that was coming. One thing that may be helpful is that breadbox, when he did his W-File Report/Phoebe post, asked me if I wanted to put any hints in, since he didn't have any treasures buried himself. So there are a couple in there, which some people may not have realized. And of course, now that I'm a Priest of the Church of the Markovian Dream, I will be putting in my Prayers For Deliverance as well. Apart from that...the pangram one is entirely straightforward, and I confess is more of a test of computing power than anything else, but I'm genuinely interested in the result; and yes, I did mean "Ackapennies" instead of "Ackadollars", but I'd rather the listing on the Treasure page remain the way it is.

BWG: Thank you for talking to us.

A: My pleasure.

Grapefruit Update:
The staff of BWG have also sorted through the available records to determine who are the leading Crystal Grapefruit candidates. The results are as follows:

Neither Guy Fawkes nor /dev/joe are finalists in the current Grab-A-Donkey game, but both are strong contenders in the current game of Viruses, so this reporter is willing to bet that that game will see the final fate of the Crystal Grapefruit, as soon as it gets back up to speed(as it should, with the return of CarsesraC to referee).

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Wanted: prosthetic foreheads.
Will pay a reasonable price.
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The Den of Ubiquity / Aaron V. Humphrey /