Heroic President Brings Order to Ackanomia

By Colonel Marmaduke Melchitt (Rtd.)

Ackanomians were rejoicing today after an historic announcement by our glorious President, Robert Sevin.

The President took time out from his busy schedule to intervene personally in the crisis in Ackanomia, which had threatened to bring the country to a standstill.

His decision, to restart the game of Ackanomic in another "cycle," was applauded by Ackanomians as another example of the President's good judgement and common sense.

Some subversive sections of Ackanomia are still rebelling against the President's momentous victory of last week. The insurgents, led by the Clerk of the Courts, Mohammed, reduced debating in the Public Chamber to a slanging match. His comments, not worthy of reproduction here, have been referred to the Politeness Moon for adjudication.

The wicked Mohammed also declared himself a "mortal enemy" of the President. Many now consider his position as Clerk of the Courts to be untenable.

Opponents of the Presidential action had clearly not read the text of the document, which explained, "This is the only way to solve our problem without losing players."